1883

„I thought you excused yourself from the party because you weren't feeling well. You should better go to bed now", Hagi objected as Saya tried to pull him to her room.

"Yes I wasn't feeling well amongst those people", she replied with a tone of disgust, "but with only you around me, I am totally fine, and I am just not tired yet." She waved the bottle of wine that she had sneaked out of the dining room in front of his nose. "So how about emptying this with me?"

He sighted. "Joel will not be amused, when he finds out that you lied about feeling sick."

Saya laughed. "I have never been sick in my life so he has probably seen through it anyway. But with the guests around, there was nothing he could do."

As soon as she had entered the room, she let herself fall into one of the armchairs at a small table near the window. Once Hagi had taken the other seat she started complaining about the night and swearing about the guests Joel had made her deal with. Some business partners of his had come over together with their families. Saya had been expected to have a conversation with their daughters but it went quite unpleasant for her. Those girls had heard rumours about a witch living at the zoo, who was drinking children's blood to gain eternal youth. Of course they had not believed any of those stories, and yet they treated her with a certain distance. Moreover they had been teasing her: about being adopted, about not knowing who her real parents where – maybe some sort of worthless vagabonds – and about her strange illness and special medical treatment. Joel must have understood that she could not stand this society any longer, of that she was sure.

For the lack of glasses Saya took a pull on the wine bottle and passed it over to her companion.

"You don't think I am weird, do you?" she asked looking away. She had asked such questions before but she felt like she had to reassure it.

"Of course not!" in an instance he was on his feet and by her side, pressing her head against his chest. "Saya, I don't care that you are…a bit different...You have given me a home, you took care of me and you taught me a lot. It doesn't matter that your body might work in an unusual way, but that is not what defines you as a person."

She smiled gratefully. Why had she ever let those girls upset her? Their opinion did not matter, as long as she had him.

As the night preceded the voices laughter and music they could here from the dining room became louder. They had lit a candle, when the light from the window had faded and played some games of cards. The bottle was almost emptied and Saya's cheeks and nose had taken on a slightly reddish tone. Hagi was glad to see that her mood had lighted.

"Can we dance?" she asked, when she recognised the song currently played in the dining room as one of her favourites. He nodded, rose from his chair and held out his hand for her. She placed one palm in his, the other at his shoulder. The room, though it could by now means be called small, was not suited for dancing, since it was full of furniture. Therefore the steps they took where only small.

At some point she stood still and held him tight, so he would stop as well. She laid her arms around his neck and huddled her head against his chest. They stood like that for a while until she whispered: "I am so glad you are with me. Please don't ever leave my side."

"I don't have the intention to ever to that", he replied not quite sure if he could stick by his words.

Never had she felt as snug as at this moment in his arms. His warmth, his heartbeat close to her ear, his tempting scent… She slowly tilted her head and moved forward for a kiss. He hesitated but could not bring himself to resist. He laid his arms around her and pulled her closer when he felt her soft lips against his. For a moment everything else seemed to be forgotten. But as soon as it was over he stepped back pushing her away.

"Saya, you're drunk!" he said avoiding her glances.

"So what?"

"We shouldn't…"

"I'm sick of what I should or shouldn't do. I'm sick about how I should act ladylike, how I should smile and be polite to those girls who make fun of me. I'm sick of everyone in this world but you." (Accept for Joel and Diva maybe, but they did not count at the moment.) She pulled him close again and looked up into his eyes.

"But please don't do anything you might regret in the morning", he pleaded. She nodded, but he was not certain, whether she had really understood what he had asked for. He placed his hand at her cheek and kissed her again, forgetting about every doubt, giving in to his feelings and the alcohol.

When she reached for the back of her gown to open it he instantly helped her with the struggle. Only when the dress had landed on the floor he realized what was going on and blushed. He had seen her in her undergarments before, but not in such a situation. She reached out to unbutton his shirt but he took her hands to stop her.

Noticing his hesitation, Saya carefully asked:" Will you sleep with me?...Only if you want", she added quickly to not make him feel obliged. He was stunned at how straight forward she was. It must have been the wine.

"We shouldn't..."

"I did not ask whether we should but whether you want to."

How badly he wanted it. How he loved her. How he desired to be with her unbound by any rules of society. However he felt that he would rather harm her, if he did as he wished.

Of course she did not want to force him and yet she caught herself feeling a bit hurt when he hesitated. Wasn't that what all men wanted? Was she not good enough for him? Was she not pretty? Or did he after all secretly fear her?

"Saya, we can't…" She cut him off with yet another kiss. He wrapped his arms around her unwilling to ever let go again. Her soft skin under his hands, her sweet scent and the touch of her lips finally broke his will to resist and he caught himself opening her corsage.

Within seconds their closes had all fallen to the ground. He gently picked her up, carried her to the bed and laid her on the sheets. He leaned over her and kissed her neck as his hand slid down her naked body. I love you, he wanted to tell her but he dared not to. He was here only to please her and nothing else. Any kind of emotions would only make things complicated.

Due to a lack of experience he could only guess from her reactions, what she liked. At least "Don't you dare stop that!" was an unmistakable indication.

"You are so beautiful", he said, his eyes wandering lustful over her body. She answered with a giggle, still embarrass at being fully exposed to him – but not without enjoying every second of it.

Saya moaned when his hand went up the inner side of her leg. She quickly muffled the sound by placing her hand over her mouth. However when she realized that the noises from the dining room drowned her voice she decided that there was no need to be quiet.

One hand in his hair, the other on his back she gazed in his blue eyes when he let her. And when he turned his head away to kiss her neck and breasts she curiously peeked at the rest of him.

When a strong sensation of bliss she had never known before swept through her body, a moan of pleasure escape her mouth. She felt her body tense up as one hand grabbed the sheets, the other squeezed his free wrist.

"I want more", she pleaded still heavy breathing, "Please, I want you."

She met his gaze and could see that same burning desire in his eyes that had taken over her. When he opened his mouth to speak she kissed him again to take his chance of asking her, whether she was really sure about it.

Not wanting to hurt her, he hardly dared to enter her. But this was her demand and what he himself longed for so desperately. He was as gentle as he could, caressing her body with his fingers and placing kisses all over her breasts to comfort her. She barely felt the pain she had expected, either because of what she was or simply because she was too excited. She gasped when he slowly started to move. He turned his gaze from her and bit his lips, having a hard time with hold back. With hands clinging tightly to his body and her eyes closed she got lost in his embrace, his scent and that burning sensation that overwhelmed her.

While she had lost all track of time, to him it seemed like an eternity until her body finally tightened up and she let out a long moan. "Saya", he groaned not being able to hold back any more. Exhausted he fell into the mattress next to her. They laid there panting until he noticed that she was slightly shivering and pulled the blanked over them.

"I love you", he whispered as she cuddled into his arms. Damn, he had not wanted to say that. Had he gone too far? Had he ruined it? She did not answer but gently squeezed him, making herself comfortable in his hug. Before long she had fallen asleep in that position and he dared not move until he dozed off himself.