Stan: Hello there, Fanfictioners and welcome to our first fic!
Sarju: Correction-our first JEPIC fic!
Stan: aye, and we hope you find both amusing and Jeducating!
Sarju: but Sarju, you forgot to to tell them about-
Stan: oh-aye! this fic was originally on The Weirdo Club account, but got moved!
Sarju: And we, unfortunetly Do not own The saga of Darren Sahn OR the Jedward twins!
Stan: But we could if-
Sarju: no, Stan, we are not scheming to Kidnap them!
Stan: BUT-
Sarju: no, anyway! On with the fic...

John and Edward Grimes sat in their dressing room backstage. It was early evening and their first concert of their brand new world tour was about it their home town. "John ,John." Edward shouted gleefully "I'm so excited that we're performing in Ireland First"
"Me too Edward!" John replied, just as enthusiastically.

"Hey john!"

"Yeah Edward?" John shouted back as he struggled into one of their latest crazy costumes that they were sure would blow the fans away. This one was bright gold, with silver buttons and-for some strange reason-a sparkly silver cape. The cape had each initials sown into them, and of course, the boys had their silver trainers with the word 'Jedward' plastered on them at least three times.

"Do you think-" Edward began, but John never found out what Edward wanted to ask him, for at that moment there was a loud knock at the door, which caused both twins to jump and turn around.

"Who d'you think it is, Edward?"
"Who knows, John? Let's go see." Both twins walked-or rather bounced-over to the door, Edward grabbed the handle and pulled the door open. In the doorway stood a young man, dressed all in blue, and with his blonde hair styled into one of Jedward's trademark quiffs. "Who are you?" John asked.

"Yeah." Edward added. "How did you get in here?"

"Me?" The man looked lost for words; as if he could hardly believe he was talking to Jedward themselves. "I'm...I'm your biggest fan!"

"Really?" John exclaimed happily "That's so cool!"
"Yeah!" Edward agreed "But how did you get in here?" for the first time ever, one of the Jedward twins sounded suspicious-if slightly worried.
"Well..." The blonde haired man hesitated before introducing himself "I'm Kurda, and I love you guys!" he hoped that this would be enough to distract the twins from the question.

"Oh my god your name is awesome!" John laughed. "Kurrrrdaaa. It's so cool! Isn't it cool, Edward?...Edward?" John looked around for his twin, who was no longer standing right next to him. "Where are you, Edward?" "Uh...John..." Edward called from the hallway. "I think you should come see this."

"Why Edward, what's..." he trailed off as he pushed past Kurda and ran to find his twin in the hallway. "Woah!" he exclaimed "What happened here?" The sight that met John's eyes was not what he was expecting. Karl and Jay, the two security guards who catered for Jedward's every need whilst they were on tour, were lying on the floor, unconscious. Edward was kneeling beside them both, frantically shaking them in an attempt to wake them up.

"John! Help!" Edward called frantically, John ran and knelt down next to him. Kurda coughed nervously, causing the twins' heads to turn to him.
"They'll be fine." he promised them "They're only unconscious."

"What have you done to them?" John shouted. "Why are you here?" Jedward exchanged a glance that meant only one thing, this guy was creepy, and they had no idea what to do.

"I didn't hurt them." Kurda said "I only wanted to see you guys." I'm sorry." He sounded ashamed-as if he was disappointed in himself for doing such a thing. Jedward exchanged another glance, this time an uncertain one. Did Kurda really mean he was sorry? Should they trust him? "I'll...I'll just go, shall I? Sorry for scaring you." He said sadly, and walked away.

"Maybe we should have given him a chance, John." Edward said slowly.

"Yeah..." John agreed.

"um, Kurda?" John stood up slowly, and even though his voice has been almost no louder than whisper, Kurda had still heard him. He turned around quickly, a hopeful glint in his eyes.

"Yes?" Kurda said quickly, praying to the gods that they were going to change their mind and let him stay. He straightened his quiff and smiled at Jedward, with an 'I'm just a harmless fan' expression on his face.

"Well, um.." Edward said awkwardly "You can...um...stay if you like!"
"Really?" Kurda grinned happily.
"Yes!" John smiled. "
"THANKYOU!" Kurda ran up to them eagerly and put his arms round them, hugging them with all his strength. "Um...sorry..." he said suddenly, releasing them as he realised that he was probably killing them.

"And..." John said, once he had finished being choked by Kurda's hug. "You can have a front row ticket to tonight's show!" This was too much for Kurda to take. Without concentrating on what he was doing he started to run up and down the corridor excitedly-but he forget he was a vampire-and before he could stop himself he had reached flitting speed and was running inhumanly fast. Jedward were staring at him with identical looks of disbelief on their faces. As Kurda slowed to a standstill they began to back away slowly, clutching at each other for support. "Sorry!" Kurda apologised for what seemed like the one millionth time. "Now, where were we?" The Twins stayed silent, staring at him. Kurda turned around to see what they were looking at, but it took him a few seconds to figure it out. "I...I...I started flitting..." He mirrored the boys' look of dis-belief. Worried that he had just exposed the vampire world to two human teenage pop-stars. "What ARE you?" Jedward said together. "And what's flitting?" Kurda stayed silent, wondering what would happen if Jedward found out what he really was. They might ask to be blooded, and what would he do then? Actually...he was in need of an assistant...or two...

"Well..." Kurda raised his head proudly "I..I am a vampire!" He announced, causing Jedward to gasp simultaneously."And..Um..." How did he put this? The two boys didn't really have a choice anymore, they'd have to become his assistants-or he'd have to kill them, and that wasn't something he wanted to do. "Well..." He took a deep breath, he was about to change the lives of John and Edward Grimes forever-and there was no turning back. "Um...You two-John and Edward-Jedward...you two are about to become my assistants..."