Keep in mind; these are just my opinions of what the characters are like based on what I think from playing the game and watching the movie. If you disagree with me, fine. Just please no flames! I hope you like it. Don't forget to review.
Disclaimer: I do not own Final Fantasy VII, or any of its characters.
Interview One: Reno
Me: Hello everyone, and welcome to my show, which thanks to copyright infringement no longer has a name. I'm your host, Alekos Vahen. For those of you who are unfamiliar with the show, I interview characters from different games and shows to get their opinions on various topics. The topic for today is something that has plagued for ages (pauses for dramatic effect) out of character writing, or OOC. In other words, stories where writers make characters act in ways that go totally against their nature. Spotting when a writer has a character acting OOC is difficult, so I have invited several of the cast members of the video game Final Fantasy VII to come and speak to me about how they are typically made to be OOC, as well as some of the stereotypical characteristics that writers tend to give them. First on the list is a member of Shinra's elite special task force, the Turks. Please give a round of applause for Reno.
(Reno walks onstage to a chorus of cheers and a bout of fan girl screeches.)
Me: Hello Reno, and thank you for doing the show.
Reno: I'm glad to be here, yo. It's a nice break from what I usually do for Shinra.
Me: And what would that be?
Reno: (shrugs) It's kinda hard to explain. Dirty work mostly. Killing people and stuff, you know.
Me: I see. Since I don't see any of the other Turks, I assume you will be talking for them as well?
Reno: Yes. Shinra can't spare us all at the moment, so I will be covering for the others.
Me: Alright then, why don't we get started? I assume you are familiar with the term OOC?
Reno: I am.
Me: Great. So would you mind telling me just what kind of OOC behaviors people normally give you?
Reno: Where to start? Well, first off, contrary to popular belief, I am not an alcoholic.
Me: (shocked) You're not?
Reno: Hell no! And don't sound so surprised. Don't get me wrong, I love booze, and usually down a beer or two after work to relax, but I am not a drunkard. I do not go on drinking binges on a weekly basis, and I certainly never go to work wasted or with a hangover. In my line of work, that sort of thing can get you not only fired, but killed…fast.
Me: I see your point. So you have absolutely no alcohol problem whatsoever?
Reno: (shakes head) Not at all, and neither do any of the other Turks. We enjoy our liquor, but we know our limits.
Me: And how about the fanfics that show a much more tender and caring side of you? Are you OOC in those as well?
Reno: That's kind of hard to answer. I'm not a heartless monster, but I try not to get too attached to people. In my line of work people you care about can disappear in an instant. Losing them is much less painful if you aren't too close.
Me: That's a very depressing way to look at it. So you don't ever let others get close to you like in the fanfics?
Reno: I didn't say that. I try not to get too attached to anyone, but when you've worked with people as long as I've worked with Rude, Tseng, and Elena, you sometimes let your guard down more than you want.
Me: So you do let people get close to you like in the fanfics?
Reno: I didn't say that.
Me: (sighs) Fine, be that way. Now on to the next point. You are often shown as lazy, incompetent, a womanizer, a slob, a goof-off, and a complete jackass. What do you think of these alleged "characteristics?"
Reno: (holds up hands) Whoa, slow down, one insult at a time, yo. I'm not like that at all! I mean, lazy? Give me a break. You don't become a member of the Turks by being lazy. I don't mind cutting corners and blowing off work when possible, but I'm not lazy. When something needs to be done, I do it.
Me: Even paperwork?
Reno: (Scratches head) Actually, I usually have Rude do it, since we're partnered up for most missions.
Me: Why am I not surprised?
Reno: Shut up. I still do my share when I need to.
Me: I'm sure you do.
Reno: Can we move on please?
Me: Ok. The next item on the list was incompetent.
Reno: (laughs) Please. When in the game was I ever incompetent? Not once.
Me: What about in Advent Children? If I recall correctly, there were several points where both you and Rude seemed rather inept.
Reno: What, you mean when we were fighting Yazoo and Loz? Why don't you try fighting those white-haired bastards sometime? Go on, try it and see what happens.
Me: Alright, I see your point. But how about when Cloud locked you out of Healin and nearly gutted Rude?
Reno: Rufus told us to test his abilities, nothing more. Neither one of us was trying our hardest.
Me: (heavy sarcasm) Ok, sure. You were just testing him.
Reno: (threatening voice) Don't mock me, yo.
Me: Oh, come on. Cloud kicked your ass and you know it.
Reno: (pulls out electro-mag rod) THAT'S IT! I'LL SHOW YOU HOW INCOMPETENT I AM!
Me: (sweating nervously) N-no, that's fine. I'm sure you are much more skilled than people think. Please, j-just put the EMG down so we can continue.
Reno: I thought you'd say that.
Me: (whispers) Bastard…
Reno: What was that?
Me: Nothing. Let's see, what's next on the list (shuffles through note cards.) Oh yes, you are often portrayed as a womanizer. Is this true?
Reno: Uhh…no comment.
Me: I'll take that as a yes. Next question, are you a slob?
Reno: Well, I'm not the cleanest of people, but I'm not as bad as most people think I am.
Me: How do you mean?
Reno: In most fanfics, my apartment is worse than the Midgar dump. In reality, it's very clean for a guy's apartment.
Me: You're joking.
Reno: Not at all. Women don't like messy apartments.
Me: (sighs) I knew this had something to do with women.
Reno: What, you don't keep your apartment clean for when you have chicks over?
Me: I live with my mom.
Reno: That's sad, yo.
Me: Moving on! Are you a goof-off?
Reno: Hell yeah! I love screwing around and messing with people, but only when appropriate. Unlike in most fanfics, I never mess around during a mission, or at least not as much as in most fanfics. Can you imagine what would happen if I acted like that during an assassination or something?
Me: I have several ideas, and none of them are pleasant.
Reno: (grins) Exactly.
Me: Which leads me to our last possible OOC portrayal; that of you being a complete and total jackass.
Reno: (groans) Can I skip this one?
Me. No, you did that already with the womanizer question.
Reno: Dammit.
Me: Now, you are often seen as a jackass who terrorizes your fellow Turks, especially Elena. Does this sound like the real you?
Reno: Sort of. I'll admit, I do enjoy taunting Elena, but that's just because she's the rookie. You always haze the rookie. And me and Rude are friends, so whenever we hassle each other it's good-natured.
Me: What about Tseng?
Reno: (stare) Would you mess with Tseng?
Me: (sweat drop) No, I guess not. Well, that about does it for your OOC behaviors, so why don't we move on to the other Turks?
Reno: Fine.
Me: Let's start out with Rude. How is he usually OOC?
Reno: (laughs) Actually, he's not OOC very often. Kinda hard to do that to someone like him.
Me: Uh-huh. So what about Tseng, is he ever OOC?
Reno: You bet. People just can't seem to write him properly.
Me: Can you give me some examples?
Reno: (shrugs) Sure. For one thing, people always have him jeopardize his mission by helping one of us, usually Elena. We Turks may be like a family, but trust me, Tseng let's nothing get in the way of completing the mission. If it's a choice between the mission or us, he'll choose the mission every time. Any of us would. It's also the same thing with him and that Ancient. There are many stories that have him secretly helping her avoid capture. He may have a thing for her, but I can assure you he would never help her.
Me: Really? He's that dedicated to his missions?
Reno: Yes.
Me: Then how about the last Turk, Elena?
Reno: She's OOC a lot, yo.
Me: How so?
Reno: Well, she's not nearly as calm and reserved in the game as in most fanfics. Elena is a girl doesn't tend to think before she acts, and it's gotten her in a lot of trouble; in most fanfics she tends to think things through much more than she would in real life. She's also not as bold. That's part of why I enjoy teasing her so much; she never does anything about it, just says "yes sir" and "I'm sorry." And then there's her whole obsession with Tseng. Everybody knows she likes him, but she doesn't have the guts to tell him. In a lot of fanfics she eventually comes right out and says it, but in reality she just can't do it.
Me: And what about the fanfics where she acts rather "inviting" towards other guys?
Reno: Are you sure you're not confusing her with that whore, Scarlet? Elena is as shy and chaste a girl as you'll ever meet. You should have seen the way she acted when she was told to seduce someone on a mission.
Me: I take it she didn't do it?
Reno: (laughs) You kidding? We ended up having to abort the whole mission. Boy was Tseng pissed…
Me: I bet he was. I just have one more question. Is Elena rea—(phone rings)
Reno: Hold on, I gotta take this. (talking on phone) Yeah…uh-huh…alright…understood. (turns off cell phone) Sorry, but I need to go. Looks like some unlucky bastard has a date with a bullet.
Me: Well, I'm sorry to hear that. But I guess it can't be helped. Thanks again for doing the show Reno; it's been a real pleasure talking to you.
Reno: No problem, yo.
Me: Ok everyone; let's have a big round of applause for Reno!
(Reno walks off stage to another chorus of cheers and screeches.)
Me: Well, that's all the time we have for today. Tune in next time for another segment on OOC characters, and another Final Fantasy VII interview. I'm your host, Alekos Vahen, and this is a show that no longer has a name…Damn copyright laws…
Well, what did you think? I didn't think this chapter would be this long…I just hope I can keep this up. My plan for this is to eventually do interviews with Cloud, Sephiroth, Tifa, Aeris, Vincent, and possibly others if I can gather enough material. It would be nice to be able to do the whole cast. But I can't do that if I don't get reviews! So hop to it, I need your support.