Disclaimer: I don't own CATS!
Okay, so this is a little dark humor and a feminist rant I just had to do, just to get it out of my system, tell me what you think? I love hearing readers opinions!
NEWS: I'm going all the way from LOUISIANA to CHICAGO ILLINIOS, to see CATS live! I have never left the South in my life, and I am scared as heck as to what the North is like and what yankees are like. Any advice on how to not get into trouble in a city as big as Chicago?
Bombalurina laid down quietly, hoping that she wouldn't be disturbed again. She was simply exhausted, her weariness coupled with all of her pent up anger and frustration surrounding her mate, the Rum Tum Tugger.
"Why did I settle down with such a chauvinist?" she asked herself, wearily placing a paw over her eyes. It was true, she really hadn't thought about it much before she and Tugger became mates, but he had a very dominant male attitude. It wasn't that he believed in putting her in her place, at least not physically, but he just had an attitude of superiority as a male. He would talk over her, expect her to pick up after him, and just put her down with the way he looked at her. In some ways it felt like he owned her, like she was his giesha, trained to serve and please, at the cost of her dignity as a female.
But her biggest issue was mating, no matter how much she would ask, he always had to be on top, as if to show that he owned her.
"Any time I make a suggestion, he throws it out the window, he won't listen to my opinions because I'm a queen, but he'll listen to complete strangers who're toms!" She angrilly clawed at the blankets they used as a nest, wanting to take all of her anger out on them. Sometimes she just wanted to leave, since Tugger just wouldn't treat her like an equal, but now she just felt as though she couldn't. "After all, he is hurt."
Tugger had broken his leg in a complicated dance routine, and Jenny, as the tribe nurse, had told him he had to rest and let it heal. Of course his fan club doted over him, he got cards and flowers and all kinds of sweets and other stuff, mostly from Etcetera, and he enjoyed every moment of it.
Bomba thought that maybe Tugger would learn some kind of lesson from this, maybe become more humble, but instead he took this as an opportunity to be waited on hand and foot. It wasn't that Bomba didn't mind helping him, on the contrary, she actually liked helping others, often volunteering to help Jenny treat sick cats. but when Tugger called her every two minutes for something he could do on his own, she drew the line.
Since the cast had come on, Bomba was on her feet almost twenty-four/seven, literally waiting on Tugger hand and foot. She was completely worn out, and more than ever, she felt as though Tugger had no respect for her. It was always something, this was the first time in hours she had been able to get away from him to lay down and just rest...
"Bomba, I need your help," whined Tugger, using the most pathetic voice he could manage.
His voice rang through her head as she shot straight up, holding her face with frustration. "What else could he want?" she asked in frustration. She got out of bed and walked over to the broken piece of glass they used as a mirror, seeing her messed up fur and bags under her eyes.
Seeing her reflection was the last straw, she was tired, her fur was unkept, and she was just tired of being treated like Tugger's little geisha.
Her blood boiling, she was about to storm out into their living room, when suddenly she got an idea. A wicked smile spread across the red queen's face, as the thought struck her on how to handle this situation.
After taking a deep breath and trying to wipe the evil look from her face, she walked out into the living room, trying not to laugh at this kittenish idea.
There was Tugger, lying on a cushion with his foot propped up on a pillow, covered by a thick cast with names scrolled all over it. He was supporting his head on his arms, laying back with a look of royalty on his face. Surrounding him were empty dishes and magazines tossed aside, and all sorts of gifts from his admirers.
"Bomba, what took you so long? I can't do anything without you, you know?" he said, trying to act hurt that he had to wait a minute.
Bomba slowly walked into the room, one eyebrow raised as she sauntered up to her mate. She was determined to show him that she knew how to bite back, as she rested by paws on her hip and cocked her face to the side. "Oh, poor Tugger, can't do anything himself with his poor broken leg," she said, with a sassy voice.
Tugger looked at Bomba oddly, wondering what he had done wrong. "Come on Bomba, you know it hurts, babe."
"I know, but do you know what hurts even more," she asked, holding her paw flatly over his leg, a look of superiority on her face, the same look that Tugger always gave her.
Tugger's eyes went wide at the sight of what she was about to do, gulping her asked, "Bomba what's wrong, what are you doing?"
"I'll tell you what I'm doing," she snapped, taping Tugger's leg with the flat of her paw, making him wince at the contact. "I'm demanding respect from you, the respect I never get!"
"What are you talking about babe, I respect you," he said, fear coursing through him as her paw came down again, making him throw his head back and whine.
"Respect? You talk over me, treat me like a maid, don't take my feelings into consideration at all," she told him in a sweet voice, all the while patting his leg gently but firmly, just enough to hurt, but not cause more damage.
"But... I thought you didn't mind, and I didn't realize I talked over you," he stammered, moaning as her paw came down again.
"Of course you don't realize you talk over me, because you don't care," this time her paw didn't come down, but it hovered menacingly over his leg.
"Well, I won't do that anymore, okay," said Tugger desperately, willing to do anything to keep Bomba from torturing him even more.
"You know, you've always been a chauvinist pig, a womanizer and an all around bastard, but I was always to stupid to realize," she said with a chuckle, gently smacking his leg as she said this.
"Ow, ow, Bomba! What do you want me to do?" he begged, gripping his leg right over the knee.
"Well for starters, I'd like for you to not just brush be off because I'm a queen, especially in public." Her paw came down and with it he shook his head yes, a slight wimper coming from him.
"Second, I want you to stop treating queens like objects. You can admire us and flirt, but stop acting like that is the full range of our uses, because we're equals," she tapped his leg a few more times, acting almost playful with it.
"Alright," he crinched, "We're... equals." He said this between taps, Bombalurina watching him with raised eyebrows.
"Good Tugger," she teased, enjoying being in the position of power for once. "One last thing though, I want to be on top occasionally while we mate."
Tugger raised his eyebrows this time, thinking his mate had just gone a little crazy. "Bomba, I always get you screaming my name at the top of your lungs, why do you want to..." he could barely say it, to him, this was a threat to what made him a tom.
"I'll tell you why," she said, smacking his leg again, "because of what it represents, you trying to show that you have all the power. Now you're going to apologize for belittling me, and you're going to agree that we are equals everywhere, including in bed."
Tugger wanted to protest, but Bomba started hitting his leg with a big grin on her face, knowing that he would give in to make her stop.
And she was right, after nearly a minute of this, Tugger had had enough. "Okay! I'm sorry for all the times I've belittled you, and from now on I respect you as my equal and I'll even let you be on top, just stop hitting my leg!"
With this Bomba immediately stopped and stood back, smiling evilly with her hands on her hips. With a sweet voice and half closed eyes, she looked at her mate and asked, "good, now how can I help you?"