The heat of the late July morning awoke Yusuke before the school dorm itself could. That was rare. The Kosei Academy dorm was not a serene place to live, so late slumber was rarely possible. But for all the… auditory disadvantages, Yusuke did find himself growing to enjoy the vibrancy of life here. The conglomeration of students from all over Japan, the constant contact of different personalities, viewpoints, noises, ideas, distractions- it was a rich tapestry of life that Yusuke felt was important for his development as a person- and more importantly by far: his development as an artist. Art was made to be viewed by people, evoke emotions in people, thus Yusuke must understand people- even the uncouth ones.
But this heat! It was making the dorms much less enjoyable these recent days. The heatwave was drowning Tokyo in sweat- the musky scent of human life was omnipresent. The male dorms were the worst. Disgusting, moist socks left on windows. Soggy running shoes casually discarded in the hallways after a day walking in the sun. Yusuke's roommate, some athlete named Oda, maintained the dubious habit of going to bed without showering, secure in his wisdom that: since he was going to sweat in his sleep anyway, he might as well wait to shower in the morning.
He and Yusuke did not talk much, and Yusuke did not spend much time in their room.
In fact, the oaf was snoring loudly on the other side of the room this very moment. Arm up over his head. Armpit hair dark, long, and unwashed- dried sweat glistened on it like foul morning dew.
Yusuke's mind green-shifted, taking on a color spectrum of mold and old food. This was the kind of creature he must learn to live with, however. But… only in small snippets of time.
Yusuke got up, gathered his change of clothing, and braved the hallway to the shared bathrooms. The bathing area was professionally cleaned on a regular basis, which was a godsend, as left unattended, the oppressive weight of pubescent males would rot it away in short order. It was certainly cleaner than anything in Yusuke's dorm room that wasn't his own bed and desk. Surrounded by someplace relatively clean and tidy, Yusuke's mind color shifted back to the default spectrum. He no longer felt like he was walking through a cesspool. He washed and readied himself and left.
Yusuke was moving back through the hallways in a fugue, his mind mostly blank- focused entirely on the task of washing, getting dressed, and getting the hell out of here. He didn't want to green-shift again. So as there was nothing here he wanted to think about, he just… didn't.
"Morning Mr. Kitagawa," said someone. Yusuke's mind sluggishly alerted him to a narrow face and close-cropped hair. Then the person was past him as Yusuke walked down the hall. Oh yes, it was that one person who greeted him a lot. They shared the same schedule.
"Good morning," said Yusuke, head not turning, still walking back to his room to drop off his bath things. Unbeknownst to Yusuke, the boy with the cross-cropped hair was twenty paces down the hallway already and didn't hear him.
Yusuke quietly dropped his things and checked his phone. No messages. Apparently, the Phantom Thieves would not be venturing back into the Palace of Sakura Futaba today, He considered going to Cafe Leblanc to sit for a time but then decided against it. He'd spent several days there already recently. Amamiya Ren was always overjoyed to see him, every single time, and so was Niijima Makoto- she had been there with Ren the last two times he'd gone, too. They both always looked so surprised to see him walk into Ren's room. It warmed Yusuke's heart to be a pleasant arrival for his friends. But Yusuke felt he'd plumbed all that he could get out of Cafe Leblanc for the moment. He needed a different experience today.
But what? He stepped out of the dorm's front door. The sun was low in the sky. It was early. The color of the light was still quite yellow, but the hot rays of the sun were already forceful. Yusuke could feel the burning heat through his white shirt. He was glad he wore an undershirt, otherwise, he would be sweating through his button-up in short order. It would be a moist day, but at least he would not look moist.
"Moist…" Yusuke said to no one. Testing the word in his mouth.
It even felt disgusting to say.
He walked aimlessly. Then, Yusuke's eyes were attracted to motion. He stopped and contemplated the shadows of a tree's leaves on the sidewalk, billowing slightly in a weak breeze. Yusuke felt his mind sharpen, enhance, the world suddenly gaining in vibrancy like the universe had just jumped the resolution from 480 to 1080.
He wondered at the sight of those leaves, losing himself in the dancing shadows. From his studies, he knew the light was packets of photons, which after bouncing around inside the sun for an amazing amount of time, finally shoot out of the star, fly through space, down through the sky, just narrowly missing these few leaves, and then reflecting off the sidewalk into his eyes.
It was flabbergasting. The odds that these specific photons would arrive here, just as he walked himself out of the dorm this morning? What were the odds that it was these photons, and not some other photons that perhaps missed the earth entirely and went to Mars, or Jupiter, or beyond? It was astronomical odds! Yusuke was overwhelmed with the wonder of it. His upper gut felt fuzzy with excitement. It was an inspiring thought.
"This is destiny," Yusuke said to himself.
An old man walking nearby turned his head. He saw a tall young man staring intently at the sidewalk in front of him. Destiny? The old man wondered. But he continued on with his morning exercise.
As the universe returned to its normal resolution, Yusuke knew where he must go today. He would go back to that planetarium. He'd been there a few times before. Then the vision of a pamphlet he'd seen bounced around in his head. The planetarium was opening a new show today. It was the perfect time to go. Destiny indeed. Destiny sent to him from the stars themselves. Yusuke turned towards the nearest subway entrance.
The subway was a system of utilitarian tubes crammed full of people enwrapped in their own internal worlds. It was not a stimulating place. Yusuke's mind went back into its dormant state- idly waiting for time to pass as the subway rocked and rumbled his body through the bowels of the city and towards his destination. He ruminated passively on what variety of canvas might be better for showing the contrast between dark and light colors.
Eventually, his stop arrived and he quickly made his way back to the surface world. The building to the planetarium was nearby. So close to his destination, Yusuke's perception of the world narrowed to the path towards the final goal. He arrived, paid for his ticket with minimal conversation, and entered the main lobby- immediately being drawn to a nearby display. Yusuke focused on the display, and everything else became slightly transparent to him, as if it was only half there.
Ah, yes, a diorama of the planets, simple, elegant, twisting through the near ether in the shapes made perfect by the laws of the universe itself. Not circles, no, elliptical. Yes, elliptical orbit. A fascinating shape. Egg like. Oval like. The lap of the universe is an ellipse, yes? So was the circle imperfect? Was a circle real? If the planets do not flow like a circle, then what use is it? Some man-made desire for symmetry that has no application in the world. Should I stop drawing circular objects altogether? Turn them into ellipses. Ovals. But some things are circles. Balls. Discs.
Yusuke looked closer at the small representation of Jupiter.
If I were to draw Jupiter, it would appear a circle. Ah, yes. Of course. I'm a fool. Circles are two-dimensional spheres. Circles are not artificial. They are shortcuts of spheres. A sphere is natural. Gravity makes spheres. To draw a circle was to take a two-dimensional shortcut for a more difficult reality of the sphere. What then, perhaps, is the two-dimensional shortcut of love? If the concept of love is difficult to grasp in paint, like a sphere, then what might be the two-dimensional shortcut? A color? A shape? Like the hideous pink heart of Valentine's Day. Such a mundane thing. But is it just a shortcut, perhaps? Indeed, that's what it is. A shortcut to the feeling of love. It loses the meaning, of course. But it also conveys the meaning. But I can't very well fill a canvas with pink hearts and call it "Love," I'd be ashamed of myself.
His blue eyes shifted to Saturn.
The circle again. This time the elegant rings of the elegant planet. The contrast. A plain, blandish surface but ringed by a circle of glorious elegance. Ah, perhaps that it is it. The juxtaposition of concepts- the bland and the exquisite. So, could his painting have the two-dimensional symbol of love, the heart, but combined and juxtaposed with something else?
A child walked nearby, catching Yusuke's attention. The child held a red balloon.
Ah, a sphere again. Floating along gracefully. It must be quite nice to be a balloon. I wonder how I might- Oh, the child let go. The balloon is escaping. Floating up. Out of reach. The child reaching for it. He wants the balloon back. This is an amazing scene. Him reaching futilely skyward. The balloon on the ceiling. The object of his desire so near at hand but impossible to reach.
The face and hair of Ann flashed through Yusuke's inner sight.
Like love. This is like love. The boy that sees what he wants but cannot reach it. Yet there it is, above him. Beautiful and distant. The two-dimensional shortcut of love. The heart. But as a balloon. A dejected man looking up at it. He seeks love. He lost love. He can see love. But he can't reach it. Yes! What a piece! The background is mostly empty, evoking the distance between them. I can see it now.
Yusuke wrote some notes in his booklet. He turned and wandered to another display. Meanwhile behind him, a young man shorter than Yusuke easily reached the balloon and gave it back to the child.
The next section of the planetarium seemed dedicated to comets.
Ah, the ellipse once again. It can't be escaped. Look at how long this is. My, this comet travels very far. Interesting how it changes as it closes to the sun. The heat of it, melting away the accumulated ice and gas. How much would it pick up on its long, cold journey, alone in the dark? That's interesting. Alone in the dark. Yet gaining. As if the loneliness makes it grow. Something from nothing. A basic enough concept. But then the sun. The heat. Melts it back.
Yusuke hissed at himself. "Such a basic thought. Think deeper!"
Behind him, two adults gave the back of Yusuke's head an odd look and steered their children away.
Something from nothing. The heat. The melting. The crucible. The crucible of the sun. Melting away that which was gained in the emptiness. Ah, a melting of what is inferior. A trimming. A culling. Interesting. A culling of that which is ill-gotten. Perhaps a man, center frame, standing- no, no, falling! A man falling, arms flailing. One half of the canvas is the crucible, the other the ill-gotten and it's flowing through him, but out of him. But what colors to pick? Black and white is too basic. Contrary colors? Clashing colors?
Yusuke took out his booklet again and wrote the note of the basic idea of the painting- like a bookmark back into his brain at this point. How to manipulate the flailing man's arms? Perhaps he would get out the wooden wire figure and work through some poses, to get the falling man just right.
"I'll need to play with this man a little," Yusuke said to himself, writing a "Y" for yellow, then crossing it out. Yellow was too easy to corrupt. He could save the color considerations for later.
A nearby man turned suddenly and walked away from Yusuke very quickly.
Yusuke moved on. The entrance to the main theatre room of the planetarium was ahead of him. He entered. The dark dome of the ceiling was covered in the swirl of galaxies and stars. Yusuke stopped and looked up into this artificial sky. It was a wonder. The resolution of Yusuke's universe jumped to 1080 again. For a moment, he suspended his disbelief and imagined he was out among these stars, only him, and he had but to think and he would venture to some star that no human had ever seen. He was no longer confined to 0.000000000000001% or whatnot of creation. He was no longer trapped on the small speck of dust that was the earth.
"Now I can explore it all," he said to himself, alone in the solitude of the abyss, "I am no longer confined to a single world."
His ears picked up a voice:
"Look, he's even talking to himself. I think we hit the jackpot with this guy!"
Yusuke's resolution slammed back to 480, jarring his consciousness. Who said that? Are they talking about me? Yusuke looked around the planetarium. Most people were in their seats, but a few rows over, two young men were standing. One was Amamiya Ren, easily recognizable by the unmistakable fluff of his hair. And another young man that Yusuke could not quite place. He was smaller and shorter than Ren by a fair amount. Someone who was yet to hit the main part of their late teen growth spurt.
Yusuke walked towards them.
"Hey, wait… He's coming over here!" said Ren's small companion.
So, it was he who Yusuke heard talking. What sort of jackpot am I to this strange person? And I certainly was not talking to myself. I was simply voicing my thoughts to better consider them. It is no business of anyone else what I do with my own voice. This must be one of the multitudes of unsophisticated minds that spend so much time worrying and gossiping about other people. Yusuke let all interest in Ren's small companion fade from his mind. The small person with his small mind was obviously no one worth knowing.
Instead, Yusuke looked at Ren, who was watching him approach with those grey eyes of his. They really were striking. Something about the angle, and they also changed drastically when Ren became Joker, their Phantom leader. Yusuke resolved to do some sketching of Ren during their next Phantom Thieves meeting. It would be an excellent study of eyes and bones.
"I thought I saw a familiar face," said Yusuke as he walked up to Ren. "I came to experience the mysteries of the universe. I'm glad to see you here as well."
The small companion of Ren's stepped back, his mouth gaping open like a carp. "I-It's him! The eccentric!"
Yusuke felt his mind shift to the red color spectrum. Who was this creature that called him names? This small companion of Ren's was not something boring to be ignored. He was now revealing himself to be a pest in need of correction.
"How rude!" Yusuke said as he looked down his wrinkled nose at the small person. "Who are you calling an eccentric?"
The small person paled under Yusuke gaze, but to his surprise, Ren came to the small person's rescue. "This is Mishima Yuuki, he assists with our… group activity? He runs the website."
Yusuke regarded the small person Ren called Mishima. He did seem the sort that would only be useful behind a keyboard. Mishima, huh? A bland name for a bland soul. Well, if Ren said he was useful… Yusuke settled his anger and his mind shifted back to cooler colors. If he was useful to Ren and the Phantom Thieves, Yusuke could afford him some forgiveness.
"Have you heard the rumors?" asked Ren.
The rumors? What was Ren talking about? It was always a little of a mystery, as Ren was the most concise person Yusuke ever met. One had to figure out the context of Ren's words- listen to what he didn't say, too, to fully get the message. But Yusuke thought Ren might be talking about the rumors of Yusuke's own personality, as it related to Mishima's rude outburst a moment ago. Yusuke knew since he kept to himself and was focused on his art, most other people found him strange. Eccentric was just another word like that, really.
"I am aware," said Yusuke, "though it pains me to hear is phrased so nonchalantly."
Yusuke looked at Mishima with disdain, then turned back to Ren. "Nevertheless, I expected your chosen company to be more eloquent."
Ren put on a sheepish expression and looked at Mishima.
"S-Sorry…" said an embarrassed-looking Mishima,"I didn't think you were Ren's friend. You just matched the description of the 'rumored eccentric,' so it just slipped out…"
Yusuke realized he might have jumped to conclusions. Perhaps Mishima was referring to someone else.
"'Rumored eccentric'...?"
Mishima nodded. "There have been rumors about a man constantly talking to himself here… And mumbling strange things."
Yusuke searched his memory of the last few times he'd been to this planetarium of late. He didn't remember anyone acting like that. This rumored person must come when Yusuke was elsewhere. But someone talking to themselves and mumbling in public would certainly be unsettling to witness.
"... I see," said Yusuke, "That does sound like odd behavior."
But Yusuke remembered he was not here to look for strangely acting people. He was here to witness the glory of the universe! The outrageous destiny of the sun's photons which graced him this morning brought him here, and the arrival of Amamiya Ren only confirmed it! It was fate that they would both come here at the same time on the same day!
Yusuke turned back to Ren: "However, can you not sense how nature's divine providence has drawn us together here?"
Mishima's mouth gaped. "What…?"
Ren was unphased, but he smiled that soft smile he displayed when he was amused or pleased.
Yusuke looked at Mishima. "Yes?'
"What I meant was… WHAT!?"
Yusuke's head moved back away from Mishima instinctively. This friend of Ren's seemed awkward to the extreme. Yusuke had never encountered someone so volatile in tone of voice. Yusuke's mind suddenly conjured up a painting canvas and he saw Mishima on it, but the young man was frayed, coming apart, like he was being… spaghettified as all parts of him were separating in multiple directions. It was like Mishima was not just a person, but he was a collection of waves and wavelengths, going up and down like light through the surprises of life. What a fascinating idea for portraits! Yusuke could paint lots of people like that and examine the spectrum of a person's wavelength...
Meanwhile, Ren recognized the glaze of inspiration go over Yusuke's face as the tall man's eyes shifted upward towards the ceiling, seeing whatever his mind's eye was showing him.
Mishima was looking at Yusuke with wide-eyes. "You might be that eccentric from the rumors after all…"
Ren nudged Mishima with his elbow. Hard.
"Ow!"
"Ow!"
Yusuke blinked. His attention returning to the world around him. He looked at Ren and MIshima, both were staring at him. Had he missed some element of conversation?
"I'm sorry, did you say something?"
Mishima looked at Ren furtively. Then looked at Yusuke. "N-No, not at all…"
Good. Yusuke noticed that sometimes he somehow managed to miss parts of conversations. It was like time jumped forward all of a sudden. It was unnerving and embarrassing. He was glad it had not happened in front of Ren's companion. Yusuke looked at his phone.
"The screening is starting soon. Why don't we take our seats?"
"Oh… Right," said Mishima.
They sat down where there were three seats next to one another. As they waited for the show to begin, Yusuke searched his memory for this rumored person again. His mind came up empty. Well, he came here often enough. He would try to help Ren and Mishima's investigation.
"This "rumored eccentric"... I'll be sure to keep a careful watch for such a person as well."
Ren turned his head to Mishima and said, "Let's leave this to him."
Mishima rubbed the back of his neck nervously as he looked at Yusuke. "Y-Yeah, I'll be… counting on you?"
Authors Note:
Kitagawa Yusuke is a character that I avoided "getting inside" during my long-fic: Between Sea and Stone. I was worried I wouldn't be able to pull it off. And if I did manage to do something that was adequate... would it destroy some of the magic that is Yusuke?
So much of the magic of his character is that feeling of "What is this dude thinking?" and would seeing what he is thinking ruin that magic? I was unsure and decided not to attempt it.
However, I also commented on another writer's work that I didn't think he exactly captured Yusuke in his own valiant attempt. I've been thinking about that for a while. What kind of writer am I to criticize another, braver person, for something I was not brave enough to attempt myself? It was hypocritical and cowardly.
This one-shot is an effort to correct that flaw I discovered in myself. I would be very interested in anyone's thoughts.
Does this feel like it could be who Yusuke is?
And if so, is it even interesting? Or does it ruin the magic of the man?
I remain unsure.