Authors Note: Okay, this is shameless Cadley!smut. It's sorta my version of a crack!fic too... A little bit of adult content, and a bad word or two ;) Remember, it's meant to be funny! If you want to see more silly interludes, let me know! I might start a series of one shots. Yum!

Yo Quiero Cadley

Remy Hadley aka Thirteen hated scut. She thought it was something that interns and first year residents should be stuck with; any doctor worth their weight shouldn't be made to run stupid labs all day, especially for patients that weren't theirs. Despite this, here she was, by herself in one of the hospitals less technologically brilliant labs, a petri dish in one hand and an eye dropper in the other. "This sucks."

As she set the dish down and reached for another she heard the door to the relatively private room open. "Ugh, just leave me alone House." She groaned, assuming it was her snarky boss coming to make fun of her currently shitty situation. It hadn't been his orders that led her to this less than exciting job for the day, but the hospitals Dean of Medicine, Dr. Cuddy. She figured he'd just come to rub it in how he, a cripple, had managed to run away faster than she had when the dark haired administrator had stalked them down earlier that morning, looking for a volunteer.

Moments ticked by and there was no witty, wise cracking retort. There was also no easily recognizable sound of a cane on the worn linoleum. Wondering then who her companion was, she started to turn around only to be blocked by a warm body pushing into her roughly from behind. Dropping the equipment in her gloved hands, she gripped onto the counter as her hips bumped into its edge painfully. "What the hell!? Who-"

Before she could turn just her head to see who her 'attacker' was, a pair of teeth found her earlobe and clamped down just hard enough to leave red indents in her skin. The brunette jerked her upper body back only to find she couldn't move more than an inch; there was someone standing flush behind her, trapping her to the counter. "Allison?" She whispered, knowing who it must be, but still feeling a small amount of intimidation and fear surge up her spine.

The mouth that had clamped its jaws around her ear was suddenly placing delicate, soft kisses down her neck and hairline and she relaxed. She knew those kisses anywhere. "Christ, you want to give me a heart attack just point a gun at me." She placed her hands on the edge of the counter and tried to push back so she could turn around and take the girl into her arms, only she couldn't; Allison was still pushed into her too roughly, affording her no leverage.

"Shut up." Allison Cameron whispered against her lovers soft skin as she placed a sneakered foot on the outsides of Remy's high heeled ones. She was already shorter than the brunette, but now the height difference was almost comical and a little inconvenient. When the girl stopped trying to push her back, she focused her body weight on her hips and dug herself against Remy's upper thighs.

This got the recent diagnostics employee's eyes to widen. "Are you humping me?" She couldn't help a small trickle of laughter escape with her words and brought a hand up to cover her mouth. The smaller figure behind her froze for a moment before continuing to grind against her. "You're like a chihuahua - that's so cute."

Allison didn't appreciate being called cute and instead of trailing her tongue over the nape of her lovers neck, she began to scrape her teeth across her skin, leaving little love bites as she went. If she was to be honest with herself, she was humping her girlfriend, but hearing the action in words made it seem more comical and less sensual. Then again, she wasn't there for sensual, she was there for satisfying.

"Woah, easy Kujo." Thirteen was still grinning as Allison tried to angle her hips against her long legs, searching for some sort of friction that would build up her pleasure. "Someone order the oysters for lunch?" Taking pity on the shorter woman, she arched her stomach slightly over the counter and pushed one leg back between her partners thighs.

"This is so much easier lying down." Allison whined as she was teetering pretty high up the sexual pleasure mountain, but not close enough that the drop into ecstasy was in view. Despite the large amount of added effort, she continued to thrust her hips against the brunette, refusing to give up and resort to more traditional means of satisfaction. Remy had called her a chihuahua, she didn't want to face her just yet, not until she had a mind-numbing orgasm to distract her from the embarrassment she felt.

Remy winced as the other woman's teeth bit a little too roughly into her shoulder, but said nothing. The sounds coming from her lovers mouth were right below her ear and kept her from caring about the pain. She was starting to respond herself, but her current position trapped against the counter meant she couldn't reach down to do anything about it. "Uhnn, hurry up." She whimpered, closing her eyes as Allison continued to pant against her skin.

Allison had wrapped both her arms around Remy's torso and was holding on tightly as her hips continued to buck against her lovers thigh. This really was easier lying down, but she was now so close she could almost taste victory. "Don't. Rush. Me." She grunted, one word per thrust until suddenly she was there and falling quickly down over the rocky outcrop into oblivion.

Remy grinned as she listened to her girl whimper pathetically against her flush skin, her body going limp around hers. With there no longer being any force keeping her against the counter, she wriggled around so she was now facing her lovers entirely too pleased and spent face. "My turn?" She asked teasingly as she reached for one of the girls sweaty hands.

Only before she could make contact, Allison had straightened up and was taking a few steps back. "Actually, I have to get back to the ER now." She swayed slightly on her feet but managed the few yards to the exit of the lab. Remy watched her satiated lover leave with wide, unfulfilled eyes.

"Bitch."

Allison heard this and turned, poking her head back into the lab. "Remember that next time you call me a chihuahua." Grinning, she stuck her tongue out and then half ran, half skipped down the hall back to the ER.