A/N: Written for a prompt challenge on AO3. Prompt was: The character meets up with a friend that moved far away a long time ago. Things have changed a lot since then.
Things Change
It had been about four years since Dean last laid eyes on Castiel. Four years is a long time, too long if Dean was being honest. They had been close friends in high school; best friends even. They spent nearly every weekend together, had lunch together and even planned out their classes together so they at least had one or two classes together. Passed notes in the hallway, left each other notes in lockers all the typical high school friendship things. Dean sighed and smiled as he thought about it. He wouldn't admit it to anyone but he had kept some of those notes, poems, and random thoughts that Castiel had written and left him. Folded up neatly and placed in an old shoebox buried under some of his clothes. Castiel's neat handwriting adorned on them it was a true thing of beauty. Though their friendship was close it slowly drifted apart much to Dean's dismay. Dean's then-girlfriend was jealous of their relationship which created a strain. Then as time went by, the two then became focused on getting into college. After school activities and applying for scholarships got in the way, then Dean got a job that totally shot his free time to hell, and lastly, they went to different colleges.
Dean had often hoped the two of them would go to the same college. They had been friends since day one in kindergarten and been in the same school since then and he was naïve and thought the pattern would continue until college. But no, Castiel had his own dreams he wanted to pursue. Dean couldn't fault Castiel on it. Dean wanted to go to a local school that specialized in physical therapy and sports medicine which didn't interest Castiel at all. Castiel wanted to pursue an academic path. He was destined for great things, Dean knew this. The first year of college was great. They talked to each other via instant messenger whenever they got a chance. But as the school work increased and they each formed friendships outside of their own they all but stopped communication by the second year of college.
Though Dean still considered Castiel to be a friend he hadn't actually spoken to him since. Once Facebook became popular Dean joined and shortly thereafter received a friend request from one Castiel James Novak but they never really talked to each other. Yes, Castiel would like his posts and post happy birthdays on his timeline it really wasn't communication.
Dean sighed and ran his hand through his hair. He knew nothing about Castiel now. Hell, he didn't even know what he looked like now as his profile picture was an inspirational quote and not his actual face. He frowned, as he stared at the message before him:
Hey, random I know but I'm going to be in town tomorrow. I was thinking we could meet up for dinner and catch up.
He licked his lips as he stared at the message. His heart pounded in his chest and he wasn't sure why. He had considered ignoring the message. The awkwardness of not speaking to each other for four years hung heavy in his mind. Seriously, what would they talk about? Castiel was always a little on the shy side would he even open up to him now? He knew that Castiel knew that he had read the message. He could hide from it but it was rude. He wanted to speak to Castiel. Losing his friendship had left a big hole in his heart. He could honestly say that. Not a day went by where he didn't think of the other man and the friendship he once held close to his heart. He clicked on the message box and began to type:
Sure Cas.
He sent it and his heart did a backflip. No sooner did he send it another one came in.
Great. I am looking forward to it. I'm thinking maybe we can go to that Japanese place
Dean agreed and the two picked a time. He sat down his phone and let out a sigh. It was night time now and he needed to pack his lunch and set out his clothes for work tomorrow. He stared at his phone and thought about Castiel. How much had he changed? Dean knew he himself had changed since high school. He strived to make improvements to himself. He broke up with Lisa once the relationship became toxic. He didn't think he ever loved her if he was being honest. In high school, he went after easy lays and now he strived to find himself a real relationship. He had a hair-trigger temper and he got better about his anger. He knew who to blame now and no longer lashed out at everyone around him. How had Castiel changed if any?
He got up from his chair and set off to get everything ready for work tomorrow. He headed to bed and set his alarm his mind was still on Castiel and the dinner. He tried to block it out of his mind as he went to sleep.
Work had gone on without any real difficulty. Dean's mind, however, kept drifting back to Castiel and the dinner that night. He kept catching himself spacing out, losing count as the patients did their exercises it was almost embarrassing. He had checked his phone repeatedly for any more messages from Cas. He had expected him to back out or something he wasn't exactly sure but he didn't hear from him. He wrapped up with his last patient and was putting in his notes when Charlie walked up to him.
He and Charlie went to the same college. The two of them had gotten close and was lucky enough to land a job at the same facility. "What's up with you today, Dean?" She asked as she sat down in the office chair beside him and started up her computer.
"What do you mean?" he asked deflecting the question
"You're like tots distracted today. Well, I mean more distracted than usual."
"Sorry." He finished the note he was working on and signed out of the computer. "I… do you remember me telling you about my friend Castiel?"
She nodded. "Yeah, you're BFF throughout school. You get so misty-eyed when you talk about him." She gasped. "Something didn't happen to him did it?"
"No," He shook his head. "At least I don't think so. Anyway, me and him are having dinner tonight."
"Oooh." She teased
He rolled his eyes. "It's dinner. Surely you have dinner with friends, Charlie."
"I do but not with mysterious friends I get all misty-eyed when I think about."
"Truth is I'm nervous. I haven't exactly spoken to him in years and I don't know what we are going to talk about."
She shrugged. "At that point, you are getting to know each other. I had a friend like that, her name was Dorothy. We spent every moment together then she moved at the end of high school. Out of the blue, we ran into each other." She grinned. "Do you know what happened?"
He laughed and smiled. He knew that Charlie and Dorothy were dating but he decided to entertain her. "No what?"
"We got to know each other again. We even had a date."
"So you're thinking once I have dinner with Cas we are going to fall madly in love?" He asked his tone joking.
She shrugged. "Maybe, as I said you get really misty-eyed when you talk about him. Like he's some lost lover that washed away at sea."
"We're just friends." Dean said with a huff. He got up from his office chair.
"Sure," She teased. "because you know when your friends with someone you keep their notes, and poems in a shoebox."
"I told you that in confidence."
"No, you told me that when you were drunk and you were pinning for him."
"I'm taking off. I'll see you on Monday." Dean said as he headed to the door
"Enjoy your not date." She called after him.
Dean went home and took a shower to wash the day off of himself. He selected clothes for dinner. A nice button down and dark wash jeans. He got dressed and checked the time. It was nearing six it was time for him to leave. He picked up his keys and walked to his Impala his heart beat wildly in his chest. He told himself over and over he was overreacting. He got in his car and started it and headed to the restaurant. He got there in record time. He wondered if Castiel was there yet. He walked inside the restaurant and there was a man with shaggy black hair sitting in the waiting area. His heart was in his throat now as he hoarsely said. "Cas?"
He looked up at him. Eyes bright blue like the ocean. This was Castiel no doubt about it. His eyes were still the bluest blue he had ever seen, his hair darker than he had last seen him but no less tamed, his smile gummy but joyful. Castiel stood up. He was thicker than Dean last remembered. He had filled out well. "Hello, Dean." Castiel said. His voice deep and gruff like sandpaper on rocks or Batman. Dean's heart fluttered holy crap it was hot.
"Hey, Cas." He held out his hand. It felt weird offering out a handshake to a man he had once considered his best friend. A person he had spent every moment with as a child and as a teen.
Castiel looked at the hand and smiled. He took it then pulled Dean into a hug. He patted him on his back and Dean took a moment in to admire the feel of Castiel. His muscles were firm and tight, Dean looked down his back and noticed his firm butt under his pants, and he smelled wonderful. "Dean."
Dean had gotten lost in the moment. He broke apart the hug. His brain screamed at him 'Charlie was right'. Dena wasn't going to deny it. He had known for some time that his feelings towards Cas had grown past friendship but he wasn't ready mentally to see him so drop dead gorgeous. "Sorry, man… it's nice to see you."
"Likewise, come, I got us a table already."
Dean followed Castiel to the back of the restaurant. It was a dimly lit place; most tables had a candle on it to light them. It was almost romantic. They sat down and the waiter took their orders. Dean had been thinking about soba noodles since Cas had asked him about dinner so he long knew what he wanted. "So what brings you to town?" He asked hoping to break the ice.
"There is a charity event taking place. I came to offer my support and figured since I was here might as well catch up."
Dean nodded. Castiel had stayed in the town he went to college at and as far as Dean knew had never visited since he left.
The waiter brought their drinks and Castiel took a big drink from his. To Dean, he looked nervous. "So, physical therapy?"
"Yeah, I finished the program. Got me a job here in town at the hospital. What about you?"
He smiled. "I became an English teacher."
"Oh…" He chewed on his lips nervousness washed over him. Great now what to talk about?
"How is Lisa?"
Dean almost choked on his drink at that question. "Lisa? Oh uh, I don't know we broke up so…."
He blinked. "Oh really? I thought you two were going to get married."
"So did I." He mumbled to himself. "It didn't work out." He shrugged. "Shit happens. What about you? Any special someone in your life?"
He gave a shy smile and looked away. "Me? I have been single for a while." He played with his napkin. "I had a girlfriend for a while but nothing serious."
"I see. You still talk to Meg?"
He shook his head. "Not really. She moved like eight hours away and it just didn't work out." He smiled at Dean. "Remember that time she got into the fight with Amanda in the middle of English class?"
Dean laughed. "Oh yeah, I remember. That's when I learned that not every girl fight involved hair pulling. Meg had a mean right hook."
"I told you once and I say it again, never get in the middle of a fight to break it up."
He shrugged. "I was worried for the teacher."
"You hear from Garth anymore?"
"He's a dentist."
"What really?" He laughed. "I could not see him as a dentist."
Dean sipped his drink. "Well, he is. He's got an office in town."
"You go to him?"
"No, no, I mean I like Garth. He's a cool dude but the moment I'm in the chair if he busted out that puppet I might beat him with it."
Castiel laughed a deep from the belly laugh. It was like music. It warmed Dean's heart. "He was a bit too touchy-feely for me. I have never been a fan of hugs."
He blushed as he remembered the tight bear hug he had given him when he came in. "Oh, man, I'm sorry. I didn't… no, I forgot."
"Don't worry about it, Dean." He sipped his drinks. "I don't mind hugs from you."
Dean was pretty sure all the air got sucked out of the room. His hands felt sweaty and his blood pounded in his veins. "Yeah?" He asked his tongue heavy in his mouth. What did Cas mean by that? He went to speak but their food was placed in front of them.
Castiel gave his food a sniff. He always looked to get the aroma in before he ate. Dean had always thought it was weird but cute. "Smells wonderful. I haven't had good Yakisoba since I moved." He picked up his fork and dug into the noodles and grilled vegetables.
He blinked and put his conversation on the back burner. No sense letting good food get cold. He dug into his own food and let out a small moan of pleasure. He liked food though he was more into greasy food like burgers but this food was good too.
He smiled at him. "I'm just glad to see you eat something other than a burger or pie."
He gave an indifferent shrug. "What can I say Sam finally got to me." Dean's little brother Sam had always pushed him to eat healthier. He would remind him daily about how he was worried about his health and his 'clogging arteries', especially after their father's heart attack.
"How is Sam by the way?" Castiel asked as he slurped up a long noodle
Dean tried not to think about how hot it was to watch Castiel inhale the noodle. He gave a cough and answered. "Sammy is good. He started college this year. He's really excited about it."
"What's he studying?"
"Law." He chuckled. "I think he watched too many courtroom dramas with mom so now he wants to be a lawyer." He smirked to himself. He could see it now Sam on the couch with their mother Mary watching whatever courtroom drama TV show they could find. The more they watched the more Sam was interested in pursuing law.
"Law fits Sam." He took a long drink of his soda. "How are your folks?"
"They are good. Dad is recovering pretty well; he's been eating better and exercising more. He even gave up drinking. Mom's been busy with work. How is your family?"
Castiel let out a long-suffering sigh. "Well, dad is still working on his latest novel. Been about a year or so now. Longest it's taken him to write his book. Mom's bakery is doing fairly well. Gabriel is out touring the world with his girlfriend, and Michael has been busy with work." He set down his fork and rested his chin on his hands. "Haven't really talked to them much since I moved out of town; I keep in touch but just enough to let them know I'm still around."
"Sorry."
"Not your fault, Dean." He gave him a warm smile. "This was nice. Catching up with you I mean."
He nodded. "Yeah, I liked it too, Cas." Dean finished up the last of his meal. He watched Castiel as he looked at him through his long lashes. Castiel most likely thought Dean couldn't tell he was looking at him. Dean had seen Castiel bust out the move more often than not when they were growing up. Watching him or others from under his lashes; studying them but appearing not to so he didn't unsettle them. As kids, Castiel caught a lot of heat for 'staring too long' or 'being creepy'. A lot of people tended to avoid him because of it. Dean used to find it unnerving but now he saw it as enduring. Dean loved how Castiel loved to watch the world around him. He always liked to study people and observe everything around him. This was probably why he was capable of writing such lovely poetry. Though Dean had often wondered why Cas's parents never broke him of that odd staring habit.
"I wasn't going to you know."
"Wasn't going to what, Cas? You got to cue me in on the rest of the conversation."
"Visit… well, visit you."
"Why?" Dean felt a stink of pain in his heart. Why would Castiel not want to see him? Was he mad at him? Was that why he hadn't really heard from him in all those years?
He sighed. "It's… I…" He looked around the restaurant as if he was worried someone was spying on them. "Dean, do you know why things never worked out between me and my partners?"
He shrugged. "Well, you said Meg moved I have no idea about anyone else you have seen since her so I don't know."
He picked up his straw wrapper and began to fold it in his hands. Dean caught himself watching Castiel's hands feeling slightly annoyed at Castiel dancing around the subject and yet mesmerized by the act of his folding. "Meg told me once that… she had learned that there was someone in my life she couldn't compete with."
Dean felt his stomach do a little drop. Those words sounded familiar. Lisa had said the same thing to him when they were together. She was always jealous of him and Castiel's relationship. She always said it was: weird, unhealthy, and creepy. He could remember her looking at him with those doe brown eyes. "I think you love him more than me. I can't compete with that." He chewed his lower lip. He broke up with her shortly thereafter.
"After her, my other relationships ended similarly. I just figured that I was a bad boyfriend I shrugged and moved on and once I started working I made a friend." He dropped the folded straw paper on the table. "This friend he… pointed it out to me. Whenever I talked about you I seemed so happy. He said my eyes lit up whenever I talked about you. He pointed it out I was pining for someone I wanted, something I had once and I realized he was right." He poked the straw wrapper. "Dean, I…"
Dean felt his mouth go dry. Was this really happening? Was it really happening now? His heart pounded in his chest like it was a drum being beat by a hammer.
"Dean, I have…" He sighed. "Come on, Cas, you practiced this." He said to himself. He rubbed his face. "Dean, I like you. A lot like a lot more than a friend. I have for years. I thought it would just I don't know," He waved his hand. "Go away or something but it never did. I was in denial I know I was. But looking back on it I think I was aware of it. I wrote you notes and poetry and hell I never wrote anyone else poetry not even a love note and I wrote you all that." He looked at him and shook his head. "I figured I should tell you. I uh, know we hadn't been talking much I figured I should just tell you like ripping off a Band-Aid. That way we can just go on about our lives." He stood up. "It's not fair of me to drop this on your lap I know. We haven't talked in forever. I figure this will be the last we see of each other," He went to walk away.
"I kept those notes and poems." Dean blurted out. The words tumbled out quickly. He wanted to keep Cas there he wanted to talk to him.
He stopped and looked back at him. "You did?"
He nodded. "I have them all in an old shoebox in my closet." He gave him a warm smile.
Castiel sat back down. His face was red. Dean could tell this wasn't part of Castiel's plan. Castiel had probably planned to confess his feelings and run off never to be seen again. "Why?" Castiel asked. His face grew redder and Dean wasn't sure how that was possible.
"Because they are beautiful, Cas." He laid his hands on the table. He wasn't going to back down now. Years of living in denial of his feelings for his friend be damned he was going to come clean to Castiel. "You wrote them yourself for me. All those lovely words; you wrote them by hand for me. Of course, I would keep them. I used to read over them all the time. They brought me comfort helped me get through the tough times in life, gave me the confidence to get me through some of the tough times in school. I know it's stupid but just knowing that you and I had a connection like that made me feel like you were there with me." He let out a breath he wasn't aware he was holding. "When you messaged me out of the blue I was so excited. God, Cas, I was just so happy to see you and nervous because it's well you. You are the most beautiful… perfect person I had known in all my years and I like you too." He smiled. "And I mean a lot more than as a friend."
Castiel leaned back in his seat. Dean could see tears swimming in his bright blue eyes. "You… you mean…"
"I know, if we had stopped denying it we could have dated in high school but you know, shit happens." He reached out and took Castiel's hand. It was rough and yet smooth. He ran his thumb along his knuckles. "How about we go on a date? Or two or hell maybe even three?" He grinned like an idiot.
He smiled and nodded. "S-sure, Dean, I would like that a lot. A whole lot." His voice cracked
He winked at him. "How about we pay this bill and go and get some ice cream and see where this night takes us?" He brought Castiel's hand to his lips and gave it a kiss.
"I would like that a lot, Dean."
They got up from the table and held hands as they paid the bill. They left the restaurant and got in Dean's Impala. Dean couldn't stop himself from grinning like an idiot. He looked over at Castiel in his passenger seat and it felt right. Hell, it looked right. This was where they belonged: together. He backed out of the parking spot and then rested his hand on Castiel's leg.
Castiel rested his hand on top of his.
"Cas, I am glad you decided to ask me to dinner."
"Me too." Castiel said as they drove off to the ice cream shop. Both were eager to explore this relationship and their reestablished friendship. Though things have changed over the years Dean knew one thing they belonged together.