The Fated Trio Meet: Iris, Georgia, and Hapu's Ultra Clash!
It was dark and gloomy on the night Iris found herself cornered in a back alley.
"We've finally got you, Little Miss 'Dragon Master'!"
"Bonjour and Bon Voyage! You'll rue the day you trifled with these two Mademoiselles!"
As her two oppressors bore down upon her, a trembling Iris backed up against a dumpster. The two in question were Burgundy and Georgia. Iris frantically looked for a means of escape, but she was completely boxed in, and based on the vicious looks in their eyes, it didn't seem likely the two would let her go.
"Geez!" Iris cried out. "What's your problem? What'd I ever do to you?!"
Georgia grit her teeth. "Did you seriously just ask that?! You seriously tick me off!"
"Tsk, tsk!" Burgundy clicked her tongue. "It's not just one little thing you've done, madam! You've been purposefully agitating us for many moons!"
"That's right! And now we're going to knock you off that high pedestal and crush you, hard!"
Burgundy and Georgia both ganged up on Iris, drawing their Poké Balls and unleashed the creatures inside in preparation for the battle.
"Whoa, this is seriously unfair!" Iris complained. "You're both such little kids! Not cool!"
"Moi, moi!" Burgundy wagged her finger. "This is your just recompense for not telling me where Cilan is!"
"Like I know where he is! What am I, his keeper?! Did it ever occur to you to check his gym?!"
Burgundy's eyes burned with rage. "You shut up!"
"Yeah, seriously!" Georgia said. "Just battle us already! That is, if you're not afraid." A mocking smirk crossed her lips.
Iris made a pouty face. "Fine! Go, Dragonite! Use flamethrower!"
When Dragonite came out of the Poké Ball Iris threw, it unleashed a giant torrent of flame from its mouth; the ensuing explosion KOed both the two opposing Pokémon, and sent Burgundy flying off into the stars with an "Adieu!"
Georgia shook off the soot covering her and then stomped her foot on the ground. "No fair, no fair!" she whined. "You're not supposed to do that to my ice Pokémon! I'm the one who's supposed to bust up your dragon types!"
Iris grinned. "Wow! Who knew we could get so powerful! I think I'm champion material! And all I had to do to reach my full potential was ditch that little kid, Ash!"
Georgia snarled and brandished an accusing finger at Iris. "This is not over! You think you're hot stuff? Well, you're not!"
"Uh oh! Let's get out of here, Dragonite!"
Iris hopped on Dragonite's back and the two escaped into the sky. This did not sit well with Georgia, who looked to be on the verge of a conniption.
Waving her hands at the sky, Georgia shrieked out. "Oh no you don't! Get back here, coward! Urrrrgh!" Furious, Georgia hopped onto her two-headed ice cream cone and crammed a revive into its mouth so that she could fly after Iris.
After looking back and seeing naught but clouds, Iris let out a relieved sigh. "I think we lost her. But just to be safe, let's find somewhere to hide! Hmm…" Flying out over the ocean, Iris saw some islands nearby. She had her Dragonite fly down, and they touched down near a Poni Radish farm. As Iris dismounted, she got hit by her exhaustion and yawned. She'd been dodging Burgundy and Georgia for the whole day, so it was no surprise. Those two stalkers just wouldn't give her a moment's rest. It was straight-up harassment. Yawning again, Iris looked towards the meager farm house. "Maybe they'll let us stay for the night?" she said aloud.
No sooner had Iris put Dragonite back in its Poké Ball, than a little girl burst out of the house and, with a furious look on her face and a hoe in her hand, charged toward Iris. "Hey! Are you a radish thief?!"
"What the…?" Looking down at the diminutive girl, Iris saw she had the same puffy hair as herself. The resemblance was so uncanny, they might have been sisters, or perhaps long-lost cousins. Though there was something very grating about her voice.
"Well, are you?" the little girl, Hapu, demanded as she prodded Iris in the stomach with the farming tool.
"Wh-what? Wait, I'm no thief! I just got here!"
Hapu eyed Iris suspiciously. "Oh yeah? Then what are you doing sneaking around my Poni Radish field in the middle of the night?"
Iris gulped. The girl may have been small, but she had an imposing presence. "Well, it's late, so I was looking for a place to rest for the night…"
"A likely story! I say we teach this thief a lesson, Golurk!"
"Whoa, whoa, wait! I told you, I'm not- Ah, forget it! Why can't she just listen? Such a little kid! Go, Dragonite!"
Dragonite and Golurk battled each other to a standstill. Since it was already late, both Iris and Hapu got tired of the debacle, and their battle didn't reach a conclusion.
"Hey, you're pretty good," Hapu said, making finger pistols and pointing at Iris as she spoke. "Maybe you're not a radish thief after all."
"Seriously?" Apparently, in Hapu's mind, being good at battling had something to do with having an upstanding character. Iris sighed and shrugged. "What a little kid!"
"But the same can't be said for the coward hiding in the bushes over there!" With a furious scowl, Hapu pointed to a nearby wooded area.
"Eep!" Iris prayed that it wasn't Georgia. She squinted at the spot Hapu pointed to until she could just make out a white hat and purple hair poking out from behind a bush. "Huh? Oh, that's just…" Iris exhaled and looked back to Hapu. "Don't worry. She's harmless."
"Oh really? A friend of yours? Why's she hiding?"
"Uh… Well, she's waiting for her cue. But as long as we don't say a certain catch phrase, she'll stay out of our hair."
The hat slowly lowered in a robotic motion as if from dejection.
"What a little kid…" Iris chided as Dawn disappeared into the woods.
Hapu wasn't amused, and conducted a search into the area, but as Dawn's presence had completely vanished, she soon gave up and went back to talk to Iris, when suddenly-
"Aha! I caught up to you!" Georgia came flying in on her two-headed ice cream cone.
"Aw, jeez. Not her again…" Iris muttered.
"And what's that supposed to mean? You ought to show a little respect to the world's best dragon buster, and your greatest rival!"
"I already beat you once today! Can't you just let me rest?!"
Hapu tugged on Iris's sleeve. "Another friend of yours?"
Iris donned a mischievous look. "Nah. She's a radish thief."
"Another one?" Hapu readied Golurk for another battle.
"A radish thief?! You dare accuse your most worthy rival- Whoa, hold on a second. Who is this?" It was then that Georgia finally took notice of Hapu. As she took in the sight of the girl, Georgia blanched and scrunched up her face. "Eeeew! She looks like a little you!"
"How dare you!" Hapu cried out. "My name is Hapu, and I'm the granddaughter of the late Island Kahuna!"
Hearing Hapu made Georgia turn even paler and scrunch up her face even more. "Wait a minute! Did you just say that with… my voice?"
Iris gaveled her hand onto her palm. "Oooh! I thought there was something annoying about her voice! It's 'cause it sounds like yours, Georgia!"
"How rude!" Hapu said. "This is my voice! She's the copycat!"
Georgia growled and balled her fists. "You little brat! I've had this voice longer than you've been alive!"
Iris took a step back as the two growled at each other. It was a long, fierce stare-down, and it would have gone on longer if all three girls' stomachs hadn't grumbled at the same time. Iris and Georgia blushed.
Hapu sighed. "Good gracious, there's no helping it. Come inside and I'll get you something to eat." Returning Golurk to its Poké Ball, Hapu led the way into her home.
Georgia and Iris exchanged glances, as if to ask whether they should really go in, but when their stomachs grumbled again, they hurried after Hapu.
Hapu set some Poni Radishes on three plates for her guests. "Here, help yourselves. Raw Poni Radishes are delicious!" Her face was practically beaming after saying this.
Georgia eyed the food with disgust. The irony wasn't lost on her of Hapu offering up the radishes so freely after accusing her of being a thief and defending her field so ferociously, but it was mostly the thought of eating raw radishes that made Georgia's lips curl. "If only Burgundy was still with us… She could cook something."
Iris's mien lit up. "Oh, I can probably whip something up! I learned a lot from Cilan and his cookbooks!"
"I thought you liked your food raw?" Georgia said.
"Raw fruit, not raw vegetables!"
Georgia waved her hand dismissively. "Well, go ahead. Though I have my doubts you can make anything edible."
Hapu crossed her arms and puffed out her cheeks. "The nerve! The flavor of raw Poni Radish is undefeatable! Fine, do as you wish!"
Humming merrily the whole while, Iris gathered what ingredients she could from Hapu's pantry and made a Poni Radish soup. Georgia dejectedly nibbled on a radish as she waited, and Hapu just went on pouting. Finally, the soup was ready, and it smelled delicious.
"Everybody, try some!" Iris said, a huge grin on her face.
"Hmm…" With one eye closed, Georgia gave the bowl of soup Iris pushed towards her a feigned look of disinterest. Hapu scowled at her soup. Iris dug right in and gobbled up every last drop in a matter of seconds. Seeing this, Hapu and Georgia finally deigned to lift their spoons.
Hapu's face lit up with joy. "Oh, wow! It's so yummy!"
Georgia spat soup all over Iris. Furious, she pointed at Hapu. "Hold it, buster! Don't say cutesy crap with my voice! All that exaggerated gushing over food is something I'd never do! And let me just make it clear that I do not approve of a miniature Iris abusing my voice in this manner and making me look like a fool!"
Using a napkin, Iris wiped the soup from her face, then said, "Hey, you know, I'm not too thrilled hearing your voice come out of a miniature version of me, either!"
Hapu slammed her hands down on the table. "My word! You two are the rudest house guests I've ever had!"
"I'm sorry!" Iris bowed her head.
"Yeah, whatever." With an irritated look, Georgia turned aside and scarfed down several helpings of soup.
There was a long silence as the three finished their meal. Georgia scarfed down most of the pot before the other two could go for seconds, but nobody called her out on it. Even if they had, she would have said, "What's the big deal? Just make more if you want it so badly."
Georgia belched and patted her belly. "That hit the spot." Iris took this as praise for her cooking and smiled, but Georgia, perhaps realizing her mistake, shot an icy glare at her to turn her smile upside-down. "Look, it's getting late and I'm pretty tired, so we'll settle this in the morning. Lots of dragon busting to do tomorrow, so I need to get some sleep."
"Alright, fine." Under her breath, Iris added, "What a little kid."
"About that…" Hapu looked at her two guests. "I've only got one bed, so we'll have to share."
"What?! Share with her?!" Georgia's furious gaze turned Iris pale. "Why don't you just sleep under the table; it'll be good training for you. After all, real dragon masters sleep outdoors!"
"Why don't you sleep under the table?" Iris shot back.
"No way! I am not sleeping on the floor!"
Iris and Georgia bickered for a while, but as it was such a small house, it seemed there was no helping it. They crammed onto either side of the bed, with Hapu tucked between them, staring blankly at the ceiling.
"Hey, don't hog the blanket!" Georgia yelled.
"I'm not, you are!" Iris retorted as she tugged the blanket back from Georgia's side.
As the tug-of-war over the blanket happened over her, Hapu's blank look broke into irritation. "Would you two please shut up and go to sleep?! And, you know, it's not exactly comfortable for me either, being stuck between you two!"
None of them got any rest, and the three awoke at first light, very tired and even grumpier than they'd been before.
"Man, Georgia, why couldn't you just share?" a sleepy Iris muttered.
"That's it! Let's go, right now!" Georgia yelled. She threw a Poké Ball, and her Vanilluxe came out.
"Eeek!" Iris shrieked and jumped out of the way when Vanilluxe sent a frigid blizzard in her direction. "Hey, watch it! Help me out here, Hapu! Battle her for me!" Iris crouched down behind Hapu, who stood firmly before Georgia.
"Very well." Hapu released her Golurk.
"When did you two get so chummy?" Georgia demanded. A crazed gleam appeared in her eyes. "Of course! It must have been the soup! And I'll bet they were conspiring after I fell asleep! I should have known that Iris was planning to use her against me! Darn it, she has my voice, so she could have gone either way, but that dumb dragon master beat me to the punch! I guess I have no choice but to crush her!"
Georgia cackled madly. Her exhaustion was apparent from her paranoid rambling and from the dark circles under her eyes. "Vanilluxe, do it!" she cried out. But she was so tired, she had to rest her eyes for just a moment. She was sure Vanilluxe would be alright for just a few seconds. But when she opened her eyes again, her Vanilluxe was on the ground with swirly eyes. She rubbed her eyes to make sure she wasn't hallucinating. "What the? I lost? To that pipsqueak?"
"Yay! You did it, Hapu!" Iris took Hapu's hands and jumped around in circles.
"Please! That was nothing! I am the granddaughter of an Island Kahuna, after all!" Hapu scowled, but her reddened cheeks betrayed her embarrassment.
Georgia raised a trembling fist. "Darn you! I don't accept this! It doesn't count if it's not against a dragon type! Now let me battle you, Iris!" As she leaped on top of her Vanilluxe, she grabbed a handful of revives from her pocket. Vanilluxe turned its heads away as if to say, "No more, please!" but Georgia pried open its two mouths and shoved revives down its throat.
"Uh oh!" Iris dropped Hapu and ran for it.
"Get back here!" Georgia ran after Iris, dragging Vanilluxe behind her.
Iris cupped her hands over her mouth and shouted at the top of her lungs, "No need to worry!"
"No need to worry!"
Dawn, coming out of nowhere, somersaulted through the air. Iris threw the girl at Georgia, and Dawn latched on, wrapping all her limbs around her and holding her down with the strength of a Bewear death grip. "No need to worry!" Dawn said, grinning eerily at Georgia.
"Ugh! No, let go!"Georgia struggled and squirmed to get free, but found it futile. She looked out, past Dawn, at Iris, who was escaping on her Dragonite. "Such a cowardly trick! Get back here, you phony dragon master!"
"See you later!" Iris cried out with a wave and a smile.
"Urrrgghhh!" Georgia's face burned red.
Meanwhile, Hapu was sitting on her door step, poking the ground. She watched with a dejected look as Iris flew off, then Georgia got to her feet and stomped after her, even with Dawn still hugging her and dragging her feet. With a "Hmph!" Hapu stuck her nose up, then said, "I am not lonely, just so you know!"
A little while later, while she was still sitting on her stairs, Hapu noticed a giant cloud of dust surging toward her house. Upon closer inspection, the dust was being kicked up by a fancily dressed purple-haired girl running like a maniac. Seeing Hapu, the girl stopped a moment to catch her breath.
With a rabid gleam in her eyes, Burgundy asked Hapu, "Have you seen zwei mademoiselle, one dragon buster and one dragon master?"
Hapu stood abruptly and stared at Burgundy for a full second before pointing at her and crying out, "Radish thief!"
With a horrified look, Burgundy hopped up on one leg and held her arms defensively in front of her. "Moooooi?!"
Notes: Hapu and Georgia share a voice actor in the English version of the anime. I picked up on this right away, and in a recent episode, Hapu was gushing over some food (seriously, nobody ever reacts so excitedly to food like they do in anime, and it's pretty annoying sometimes), so I thought, "Gee, wouldn't Georgia get mad if she heard her voice saying these lines?" Thus, the idea for this story was born.