The Heart of the Matter

HisGirlFriday882

BPOV

Why she hadn't seen all this before I lost my heart in the middle of this mess, I'll never know. Alice was supposed to be infallible. She saw everything and never hesitated to remind you that she knew everything, too. She got what she wanted with nothing more than a vision, a bat of an eyelash, a twirl and a giggle. I hope that she was the friend she always portrayed, and that this betrayal truly came as a surprise to both of them. I want them both to be happy, I just always thought they would both be happy with me, as a friend or as a mate.

Imagine my surprise when I wake one morning in the summer before my senior year, still in a walking cast, a constant reminder of my run-in with James in Phoenix, to find a somber Emmett at my front door. I'd liked to think I knew Emmett fairly well. He had become the brother I'd never had, of sorts, and we often whiled away the hours at the Cullen home laughing together, joking around or playing his new favorite video game.

I invited him inside, and he broke my heart.

He told me of Alice's 'vision' the night before, how she'd dropped Esme's vase of roses and stared of into the future for several hours. He recounted Edward's facial expressions and other reactions to the silent, life-changing scenes dancing around in the midnight fairy's head.

He told me that when she came back to herself, there was more silence for up to an hour, in which the two locked eyes and communicated in a way that he and I never would.

He told me the rest, and I absorbed it as well as a single sponge could absorb an entire sea. He handed me their letters, and allowed me to read and come to terms silently within myself.

I felt that Alice's letter might hurt me the least, so I opened that one first.

'Bella,

'Believe me when I say that this was a total surprise, not only to Edward but to our entire family. As you may have been told, last night changed everything. I'm not sure why this vision wasn't given to me decades ago, it would have saved us all a lot of heartbreak. Regardless of whether or not you'll believe me, we're all hurting here. Even now, I am heartbroken.

'The man I loved with my whole heart and soul for over half a century was suddenly not mine to love. To have and to hold were suddenly whispers in the wind, no more concrete than a wisp of smoke, or a light fog after a summer's rain. I saw what I was to him, for him. I saw what I would drive him to, and thousands of other tiny glass shards of pain splintering in the hearts of every single person I have ever cared about. My husband and my best friend, left gasping and bloody in a puddle of my mistakes.

'These are my mistakes, Bella, even if I didn't know I was making them indirectly for my entire existence. With a hopeful heart and hopeless intentions, I ruined the most pivotal years of Jasper's existence. His reform, conforming to a life of peace and pacifism, could be totally derailed by my leaving. If you love me at all, Bella, you'll try to help him continue to uncover his humanity. If anyone could bring out the human part of a vampire, that's you, Bella.

'You are so special and so wonderful, such a fantastic friend, a safe haven for every man, woman, beast, and child to ever cross your path. You are full of so much love to give, more than you can even fathom. I've seen it all, Bella. You will change the lives of those around you in ways they could never dream, and you'll do it all without me there to ruin it.

'As long as I live, I'll regret never being able to tell you goodbye in person. I'm not you, Bella. As much as you had previously believed it to be true, I'm not perfect.

'I know not to ask you to forgive me, to ask you to hold back your anger and resentment and hate for me. I've seen that, and the wonderful, caring girl that you are, you would try to chew it up and spit out rainbows and unicorns. False happiness is what I'm trying so hard to leave, and that's the last thing I'd want.

'We're leaving now, and I've told the rest of the family not to look for us, they couldn't find us anyway. It came down to this, Bella; we could stay and pretend we didn't see the truth, or we could leave and allow the future to unfold as it should. We love you all too much to let that happen, suppressing the truth would have ended much worse than all of this, I promise you. Your pain turns to pleasure, and heartache turns to a happiness so great that it aches. This is a life that will be so wonderful for you, otherwise unattainable.

'Remember what I said Bella, if you love me at all, deep inside, help Jasper like I can't now. If you ever decide you want to talk to us, or need us, call this number. 1-(247)-860-8822

'Everything I left behind is no longer anything I have rights to. The room, the money, the furniture, the cars, the homes, all yours. Everything I had is now yours, as it should be.

'With love,

'M.A.B.'

I sat in silence on my father's couch and cried hard and long with my big brother bear holding the pieces of me together. I couldn't handle it. My tiny body was threatening to explode like the metal of an overworked boiler. My axis had shifted, and my anchor, my tether to life and the essence of 'me' was suddenly ripped away. I never believed that a man should define a woman, my mother had taught me that early on. However, I knew that Edward and I had been good together and I would miss 'us.' I would miss my smiles and looks that were his and his alone. First loves were the hardest to fall from, and mine held an intensity that was downright supernatural.

"Emmett," I sobbed. "Take this away and don't give it to me until I ask you for it. I don't want to hear of it until I'm ready. Ok?" I handed him Edward's letter, and he slipped it back into the confines of his coat. "Anything for you, Bella. Just tell me what you need from me now." Of course, my big strong brother was about to be my rock in the storm of the century. I needed him, and he knew it. "Just hold me, Em," and he did.

APOV

I wrote the letter to Bella, and the letters to the rest of them, in a frenzied rush from our safe house deep in the forest. Edward was pacing, growling to himself. "…I don't know about this Alice. Your visions have changed before. I don't want to just abandon her like this. What she'll think of me… I just can't stand it. I don't want her to see me like that. I'll love her forever, and she'll think of me as a cheater. You know her, you know what she'll think. She'll think she wasn't enough for me, enough to hold my attentions, my affections, when in reality I'll be pining for her for my entire existence."

I sighed, "I know, Edward; but real love is selfless love. In case you have forgotten, I'm leaving my husband of over half a century based on my visions. I love him enough to let him go. You saw it as clearly as I did. They live together for as long as I can see wrapped up in a bubble of real love and happiness. I'm not sure who made what decision, but they put all of this spinning into motion. They're not ours anymore, and we should step aside.

"Can you imagine if they knew? Of course you can. I saw it. They end up hating each other and themselves for feelings they can't control. They won't be happy with each other, and they won't be happy with us. One of them takes the plunge, and the other is soon to follow. Is that what you'd rather? Is that what you want for her?"

He threw himself to the cabin floor, desperate and helpless. He didn't want to leave, and neither would I, but we both knew it was best. "I hate the thought of him with her, Alice. She's mine. She always will be, regardless of what happens between them. I'll be waiting in the wings for her, there's no one else for me. I just hope he screws up before this even really starts. The moment their future changes, I'll be back for her."

To be honest, I hoped he did too. I wanted to give them their fair chance, I felt like I owed him that, but if it didn't work out, I loved him enough to play second fiddle to Isabella Swan.

RPOV

The whole family was left reeling as Edward and Alice darted into the woods. What the fuck happened? I looked to Emmett for some form of explanation, but he had none to offer. Carlisle and Esme were equally in the dark. Jasper was off on a long hunt to stave off his thirst, so much more intense than the rest of ours, or he probably could have gotten the vision out of his wife. At this point, the whole of the Volturi could be honing in on our territory to rip us all to bits for Edward's terrible decisions, and we'd have no idea.

I swear, our whole family has been flipped into a whole new way of existence just because Edward decided to cozy up to the little human. I didn't understand it, I didn't support it, and I knew that one day, we would all die for it.

The four of us sat down to try to piece together the puzzle of Alice's vision. We were just an hour or so in when the tiny dancer herself pranced back into the house holding the hand of our brother.

Wait, what? Edward?

Alice dropped several letters onto the table from her small black Chanel backpack. "Emmett, I hope that you'll see to it that Bella's letters get to her in the morning. Give her both of them with Edward's on top. She'll read mine first and give his back to you to keep until she's ready. It's important that you give it to her, though. She needs to know it's there for her when she wants it.

"The two of us have decided it is in our best interest to leave together tonight. We don't see happiness in our current relationships and have decided that a greater happiness will come from our departure. Don't try to look for us, you won't find us. Thank you all for the time that you allowed us to live with you and be your family. We truly appreciate all you have done. Please, grant us this last request and give everything of ours to Bella. Care for her and for Jasper just as you would if we were still here."

All of us were completely floored. Alice and Edward? How the hell did that happen? Of course, we had all suspected for years what with their special communications, and the way they seemed to know so much about each other, that something was going on. The way Alice was with Jasper certainly did much to discredit these suspicions, and when Edward found the human, it seemed the final nail in that rumor's coffin, so-to-speak. I hadn't expected this.

Alice wasn't finished. "Rose, Jasper views you as his true sister, much as Bella's relationship with Emmett. If you would be there to give him his letter, I would greatly appreciate it. He'll need someone, and you're just the one."

I looked her in the eye with as much fire as my past would help me conjure. I knew what it felt like to have the world promised and to have everything ripped away by the one that was supposed to hang the moon for you. As far as I was concerned, Alice and Edward could go fuck themselves. I assumed they would be doing just that.

"You are complete filth, Mary Alice Brandon. You don't deserve anything, not even your partner in grime, there. You fucking little bitch. How dare you destroy them like this? You made promises for a happily ever after, a forever with the ones you 'loved.' I can't stand the sight of you. I am sick knowing that I ever had anything to do with you.

"I'll be there for Jasper, and for her, too, just like Emmett. I know how it feels to have everything destroyed by the one you'd never believed would let you down. You'll leave her broken, a shell. She'll be just as destroyed as I was, in a completely different way. So, fuck you. If I ever see you again, I'll shred you like a fine parmesan romano and melt you like a cheap cheddar."

The cheese talk was a bit much, but my mother's family was Sicilian, and if there was one thing I knew, it was human food, a threat and a vendetta. Whether she knew it or not, liked it or not, Isabella Marie Swan was my new sister, and I would kill for my blood.

With a few more muttered apologies, rusty mop and hobo's toothpick had vanished into the night. Good riddance. I had trusted them, and they had gone and trashed it all in a lusty fit of debauchery. They were nothing to me.

EPOV

I can't believe I let her talk me into this. I was in the Volvo, driving aimlessly north, just having been evicted from the Cullen house. Alice was dry-sobbing beside me after the verbal beating she just took from Rosalie, and I was regretting my decision ten-fold. How could I be so stupid? I had just abandoned my Bella to be taken and ravished by a known murderer. I had seen the carnage and destruction courtesy of Jasper Whitlock's own memories.

He would kill her if I didn't stop him, and no one but me knew that I would stop him at all costs, even if it meant my death. She was perfect, and she didn't need a monster like Jasper Whitlock ruining her for me when I came back to collect her. My trophy, my prize. She was glorious, and she was mine. When they least expected it, I was going back to collect her. I only hoped I'd have her before he had tainted her sweet innocence, it would mean certain death for him to desecrate my claimed mate.

EMPOV

I have no idea how I made it through, but I did. Going to Bella's house and breaking her fragile human heart was one of the hardest things I've had to do. How do you tell your sister that the man she was madly in love with ran off with her best friend? It felt like I'd been sitting here rocking her body as it shook with violent sobs forever. She'd done as Alice said and given me Edward's letter to keep for her. I hated knowing that she was prolonging the pain, but I knew she couldn't handle anymore today.

She reacted so differently from Jasper, it was hard to believe they were dealing with the exact same thing. When Jasper got home from hunting, he could tell that something major had happened. He opened his letter when Rose gave it to him, read it silently, and folded it up and put it in his pocket. He grabbed Rose's hand, pulled her upstairs, and laid silently on the couch in his study while my wife stroked his hair. If I didn't trust him like I did, I'd take issue with that. However, I knew he needed her like Bella needed me.

Just as I was brought out of my internal reverie, Bella's cries started to quiet. When she reigned it in to mere sniffles, she surprised the hell out of me when she asked me to take her back to the house.

"Are you sure, Bella? I'll take you anywhere you want."

She straightened up like a brave little soldier and said, "Yes, Emmett. I have a few questions for the only one who may know the answers."

I picked her up and carried her to the jeep, not knowing that I was making the best decision I possibly could have. Bella was strong in her own way, and she was about to change our lives forever.

JPOV

I couldn't do anything but stare up at the ceiling while Rose stroked my hair, rereading the letter that my 'wife' left me when she ran off with my 'brother.' She told me that she couldn't see happiness anymore, and it would all be okay if she left. What bullshit. I mean, I had seen mates. My real brother, Peter, had a mate named Charlotte who was perfect for him in every way. My sister had Emmett, and Esme had Carlisle. I had seen real vampiric love, and I knew we didn't have it, but I did think she loved me a little. Liked me enough to stick it out.

Edward had been around Alice for almost as long as I had, and they had never made a move like this until now. That's not a mate bond. The second you smell your vampire mate, you know for certain. Humans aren't that easy, and that's what I told Edward. He might believe it with his whole heart, but he wouldn't know until he tasted her.

That's tricky. When a vampire bites his mate, he tastes the most delicious blood that ever pumped. It is incomparable. There's nothing in the world like it, and it only comes around once. After that one drink, you're hooked. You want more of it, so much more, but your own chemistry turns that blood into poison. It has to be taken in very small doses, no more than one mouthful at a time. This is a plus, you could say, because it guarantee's you'll have enough strength to stop feeding.

Your body knows to stop, you'd never hurt her. She's yours to protect, and she'd need a lot of protection in her human state. I told him to test it, just take a sip and he would know for sure, and he never would. I guess he already knew she wasn't his. Look at where he was now, holed up somewhere gaining carnal knowledge of my 'wife.'

Damn them.

Damn them for doing this to me, to my family.

Damn them for doing this to her.

I hadn't been given permission to be around her much. I wasn't used to asking someone for permission, and I hadn't liked it. Edward was convinced that I wasn't strong enough to handle being in close-confines with his human girlfriend without sucking her dry. It's not like I sat in a sea—well, more like a small pond—of humans every day at school.

Despite my distaste for being told what not to do, I didn't 'break the rules' much. I didn't know Bella well, and knowing that befriending her would earn me a heavy dose of intense scrutiny from all sides, I had decided I was just fine being acquaintances. Or, more so in this family, distant cousins.

In Phoenix I was required to be around the girl more than I was normally allowed, and the way she risked everything to save her mother, giving me the slip in the process, impressed me. It's not often that someone gets the drop on Jasper Whitlock, but when they do, they earn the right to brag a little. Her actions in Phoenix earned her a great deal of respect from me, and I was happy to destroy that James for even thinking about harming a girl as special as Bella Swan.

I could have been at that ballet studio minutes before Edward, but I thought they'd all prefer it if Edward got to play the hero. After all, If I had got there first I would have reminded them of the Jasper of the wars, a Jasper they thought had disappeared and been domesticated. They were wrong. Of course, I had thought James would talk himself to death, I didn't know he would act as quickly as he did. I made a promise to myself then that no one would get the opportunity to get to her without getting through me first. I owed it to her for my slipup in Phoenix.

Edward and Alice had been attached to her side when we got back. They wouldn't even let her shower alone. I felt my protection wasn't needed with those two always around her, so I hung back. I hadn't had the urge to really talk to Bella, to really get to know her, until yesterday.

I had received a letter in the mail from the Forks High history teacher. She knew I was interested in the Civil War, though she had no idea that I had actually participated. She would let me read different papers written by students on different related topics. We'd only been out of school for a short while when I'd received the paper.

The names were removed, of course, but I could always tell who had written it. Their scent lingered in the paper. Imagine my surprise when I realized that the best student work I'd ever read was written by our own Bella Swan. The more I read over what she had written, the more impressed I was with her views and opinions. She seemed genuinely interested in the history, and on my hunt last night, I had decided to sit down and talk to her about the war as I remembered it. Of course, what with these most recent developments, that's not the first thing I'd imagine we'd be discussing.

Pretty soon I heard the tell-tale signs of Emmett coming home. The crunch of the jeep's familiar tires sounded at the end of the driveway. He flew up to the house, and soon I could hear the sound of a tiny heartbeat coming from his jeep.

Bella.

I was surprised really, I thought that the Cullen house was the last place that Bella would want to be right now. I guessed she was full of surprises. Her presence reminded me of the last paragraph of Alice's letter, the one thing she asked of me, the one thing I would have done anyway.

"…I know this is coming as a huge shock to you, and it is for me too. I know you must be thinking the worst of me, how could you not? That's fine, Jasper, I understand. I would feel the same if I were you. However, I'd like you to remember all of our years together when I ask you for one last thing. Bella will be a right mess with us gone, and I'd like you to look out for her. She's lost everyone close to her, aside from her father, Emmett, Carlisle, and Esme. She lost her best friend and her boyfriend all in one move, and she needs someone who can protect her like Edward and I can, and the only one I can think of capable of that is the Jasper of the southern wars, the first Jasper I saw in my visions. You were deadly, and she may need just that. Do this for me, Jasper, and I'll never ask another thing of you again."

I ran downstairs and was out in the garage by Bella's door in one of her heartbeats.

She didn't notice me at first. In a few moments she reached for the door handle and glanced out the window to see me waiting for her there. She gasped and clutched at her heart, like one of the actresses from the 1940's. She was every bit a Rosalind Russell in that moment. Even though you could tell from her face that she had been crying, she looked lovely. Her long dark brown hair curled softly around her face and down her neck, and her eyes were every bit as expressive as they had ever been.

Moments later she caught her bearings and stepped out of the Jeep, I, of course, opening the door for her like I had been trained to my entire life.

"Thanks, Jasper." Bella smiled at me and then stared down at the concrete, a little confused, I could pick up on that. Confusion, embarrassment, insignificance, and a startling lack of self-worth. "You're welcome, Bella. I'm glad you're here. This has put all of us into an awkward situation, I'm sure you can agree, and I'd really like to talk with you about all of this. Cope together if you will."

She met my eyes with a shy yet sincere smile. "I'd like that. I have a few questions myself. I thought you might be the only one with the answers for me."

I doubted that. I hadn't any answers for myself.

"You can most certainly ask. Why don't we go up to my study? You can make yourself comfortable and ask all the questions you'd like." I didn't have to invite her in. She would always be welcome, but she didn't know that.

"I'd like that."

I escorted her up the stairs and into my study, and she decided to take a seat on the overstuffed leather sofa. It was the one piece of furniture that Alice bought that I actually liked. She said she bought it because it reminded her of my scent, and she knew it belonged with me. I'd been told that my scent was a mix of leather and cotton. I could only hope that my real mate would like it as much as Alice had.

I sat on the other end of the sofa from Bella and turned toward her. "Ask me anything, Bella. I have nothing to hide from you."

BPOV

I hadn't thought that far ahead, and sitting in Jasper's office, I could only think of a few things to ask. "I know that you have known Edward and Alice a great deal longer than I have. I always knew he would leave eventually, I mean, look at me. I don't look like a girl that Edward would be matched with. I'm too plain and, well, human. I figured a time would come when he would tire of me and move on to the next willing girl, I just never assumed it would be Alice.

"Were there any indications in their past that this might one day happen? Were there things going on that I just didn't see? I have a hard time believing that this vision came spur of the moment out of nowhere. I just don't understand, and I thought you might have better insight."

As I was speaking, Jasper appeared to grow more and more agitated. I didn't understand his behavior, but as the southern gentleman he was raised to be, he allowed me to finish speaking.

"Bella, the more I hear you speak about yourself like that, the more I'd like to hunt Edward down and give him a lesson in how to treat a lady. You are a beautiful young woman. I've been watching you, and I know that you are loving, kind, loyal, protective, fiery person with enough heart to save a man drowning in his own disgrace with just a look and a kind word. You are a very special lady, and you need to understand that Edward and Alice leaving had very little to do with you."

I chuckled, not believing his kind reassurances. I knew that if I was all of these things that Edward would still be here with me.

"Bella, I can feel what you feel. I'm right, I promise. Everything I said was true. I tried my best to be everything for Alice. Are you going to tell me that I'm too plain, or that I wasn't interesting enough to keep her attention? We were not the ones that did anything wrong, Bella. Are you asking me to reevaluate all of our years of marriage to find something I did wrong to send her into Edward's arms? Are you asking me to comb myself from head to toe, capitalizing on my own insecurities to justify the loss of my partner?"

I hadn't thought of it that way. Of course, Jasper couldn't be blamed for Alice's indiscretions. I wondered if it was possible that I wasn't responsible for driving Edward away. Jasper's speech was certainly encouraging, and I would file everything he said away so that I could think about it more at a later time.

"You might be right, Jasper, I'll need to think it over. You're not responsible for Alice leaving, but you're perfect. I'm just a human. A silly little love sick girl."

Jasper huffed. "I'll find plenty of time to knock some sense into your pretty little head later. Right now, I'd like to address your other questions. Sure, the way that Alice and Edward connected through their gifts, there was a lot of speculation in the family that something was brewing. I would have expected myself to be the jealous type, but it never bothered me. I gave Alice plenty of opportunities to pursue Edward if that was what she wanted. She told me every time that she held no romantic interest in him, and I was inclined to believe her. It makes no sense to me that she would suddenly decide that he was what she wanted."

That didn't make any sense to me either. If given the option, why would she turn down being with Edward if that was what she really wanted?

"I'm truly very sorry, Jasper, for both of us."

He smiled a slow, sad smile. "Its okay, Bella. They didn't deserve us anyway. I have a feeling that we'll both move on to bigger and better things. We'll find our true happiness. Just give it time."

Somehow, I believed him.