TITLE: Turbo-Lift Porn – A Turbo lift Story!

AUTHOR/S: Michael

PAIRING: B'Elanna Torres/Seven of Nine & Janeway/Chakotay mentioned (you have been warned!)

RATING: Fan Fiction T Suitable for teens, 13 years & older, with some violence, minor coarse language, & minor suggestive adult themes. (PG13)

BETA READING: None

FEEDBACK: or on sight!

DISCLAIMER: Star Trek & all the main characters are owned by Paramount Pictures/CBS Network Television, A Viacom/CBS Corporation. Star Trek: Voyager. Created by, Rick Berman, Michael Piller & Jeri Taylor, & is based on Star Trek, created by Gene Roddenberry.

WARNING: This is a piece of fiction, concerning an implied F/F relationship. If anyone objects to same sex relationships, you should not be on this sight, & should read the Star Trek Range of Novels from Pocket Books, or find another sight.

SUMMERY: Seven & B'Elanna celebrate 4th Annual International Day of Femslash! ( ) & International Seven of Nine Day 7/9/2011. I have also got my Mojo Back, Yeah Baby Yeah! DEDICATION: This is fic is Dedicated to my good friend Catrtice, aka Widdy, who is a tad poorly at the moment. Get well soon – love Michael xxx NOTES: A response to Ralst's 4th Annual International Day of Femslash, drabble/ficlet challenge: I think the title says it all... write a T/7 drabble or ficlet and post it sometime before midnight on the International Day of Femslash. Simples Rachel & also International Seven of Nine Day 7/9/2011!

Captain Kathryn, 'un-laid as a Vulcan Monk, on the planet frigid' Janeway, or Cobweb Knickers, as the crew un-affectionately called her, waited patiently for the turbo-lift to arrive. However instead of the aforementioned lift, all she could hear was moans, grunting and sexual compliments.

"Oh yes wIj muSHa' please illustrate to me tlhIngan mating practices!"

Fortunately or unfortunately, depending on the way you looked at it, at that precise juncture, Cmdr Chakotay, came ambling, along the corridor, with his Kirk-like swagger, onto his next conquest.

"Chuckles, I mean Chakotay, do you know what's going on?"

Chakotay could hear the moans and groans coming up the turbo-lift shaft.

"Oh Soch wIj ghu show me what those tubules can do!"

Chakotay smirked, as he saw Cobweb Knickers' goldfish impression. "I believe they are contravening the Braga Directive, to celebrate the 4th Annual International Day of Femslash."

Authors Note: International Femslash Day is a day to proclaim to the universe its delight in all things femslash.

The day of Femslash was conceived in 2368, as a protest against the Braga Directive of 2363.

The Directive stated that all Universal relationships had to be heterosexual. It did not matter if you were in a mixed race heterosexual relationship or a mixed species heterosexual relationship, as long as all couples were middle class, and spoke standardised English, and not Gay or Lesbian.

The idea of the Directive was to counteract the effects of Roddenberry style liberalism, by resurrecting the great evil one himself, Mr R Murdoch, slain in the early C21st by two righteous Members of the British Parliament (who says I can't do up to date satire!)

To make the Directive have a sound footing, the Murdochairians, as followers of the Cult of Murdoch are called, tried to retroactively enforce it, by travelling back in time. The results were fairly disastrous, particularly to one T'pol of Vulcan, who instead of being happily married to one Hoshi Sato of Sol III, found herself shacked up with one Charles 'Trip' Tucker III, the wooden head of Engineering on board the first Starship Enterprise.

Now back to the story...

Chakotay smirked, as he saw Cobweb Knickers' goldfish impression. "I believe they are contravening the Braga Directive, to celebrate the 4th Annual International Day of Femslash."

"But...But, I was going contravene the Directive, by asking Seven out and get her to cut through my Duranium Chastity Belt with her Assimilation drill!" Ole Cobweb knickers stammered in astonishment.

"Honestly Captain Cobweb, don't to you read your memo's! Since Tom decided to challenge me to the title of Command Officer who has shagged more people since James Tiberius Kirk, B'Elanna dumped his sorry ass, and has shacked up with the blond bomb shell!"

Janners stomped, like a petulant schoolchild. "It's fucking so not fair!" She moaned. "B'Elanna gets everyone; I haven't had any knockie since Voyager left Deep Space Nine. That Morn, so quite, but so manly! What he can do with a 16.5mm Stem Bolt makes it difficult to sit down even now!"

"What am I going to do with that Pot Roast I made...?"

Captain Cobweb Knickers had a brain wave, and started to look coyly at Chuckles, well as coyly as a stressed out Spinster could!

"Cmdr would you like to join me for Pot Roast, and dinner conversation?

Authors Note: By dinner conversation, Janeway of course meant rumpy pumpy, and by rumpy pumpy I mean naked cuddling, swapping juices, getting down with it, going down, getting lucky, getting laid, riding the boloney pony, doing the nasty, loving the nasty bits, making the beast with two backs, horizontal tango, dipping your nip in company ink, humping, boinking, shagging, poke, shnu shnu, hiding the sausage, chasing beaver, getting jiggy wid it, slipping one in, happy wakeup call,doing laundry, knock boots,horizontal monkey dance, fornicating, fucking - making love!

Chuckles thought about Ole Janners' offer, for about thirty seconds. He had lost his chance to have a three-some with a Delany, (he couldn't remember which), and Susan 'Bondage' Nicoletti, then the other Delany, and Nicoletti again, so it did not take him long to decide 'yes,' to his Captain's proposal. Besides, giving Janeway good shag may not make her so cranky, and a less idiosyncratic Captain, meant a less gung ho Captain, and a less zealous Captain, might mean less confrontations with the Borg! And though Janeway's cooking was terrible, and she took cooking advice from Neelix, he needed something to repair, his blow up Borg Queen Sex Doll.

"Thank you Captain I would be delighted to dine with you." He replied, giving his superior a sickly smile.

With that, the two Senior Officers went to look for another turbo-lift, completely missing the orgasmic choral crescendo echoing up the Turbo-lift shaft.

Three hours later anyone walking past the Captains quarters, would have heard a horrific cry, as finally, Chuckles had Phasered off Janeway's Duranium Chastity Belt, only to come face to face with Ole Janners pet Tribble, which she kept on her crutch.

The End