WHAT HURTS THE MOST
DISCLAIMER: I don't own Gilmore Girls and the song belongs to Rascall Flatts
AN: I know that this song is actually about death, but not in this fic. Also, I'm not trying to make Logan sound like wimpy, just love struck
I can take the rain on the roof of this empty house
That don't bother me
Rory was the best thing to ever happen to Logan. He knew it; Honor knew it, Colin and Finn knew, heck, even Mitchum knew it deep down. He knew this, but he still managed to screw it up. Big time. He was pissed off at everything, so he told Honor that he and Rory broke up. Mistake. Honor went and told Rory. Even though he tried to blame this on Honor, he knew that this was his own fault.
I can take a few tears now and then and just let them out
I'm not afraid to cry every once in a while
He was ashamed to admit it, but the nights that he wasn't drunk he ended up crying himself to sleep. He used to laugh at guys this whipped, but now he was one of them. Just waking up without her in his arms sent him in to a funk.
Even though going on with you gone still upsets me
There are days every now and again I pretend I'm ok
But that's not what gets me
He'd meet Colin and Finn and put on his 'cool' face and tell them that he was fine and that it was great to be free once again. But then, he'd mess it all up by getting drunk and rambling about how pretty, and smart, and nice she was, and everyone knows that only people you can trust and small children, and drunks. They knew, and he knew they knew that he wasn't okay, or happy.
What hurts the most
Was being so close
And having so much to say
And watching you walk away
He had been upset that night because his father told him that he was going to go to London after graduation. With all this on his mind, and seeing her with Jess he snapped. He was acting like the stuck up snob that he was before Rory had changed him for the better.
And never knowing
What could have been
He didn't know why he felt that way. He was suddenly a jealous, and protective boyfriend. He was suddenly dependant on somebody. Rory. His Ace. After growing up without a real father figure, and without a loving, caring mom, he was scared of this feeling.
And not seeing that loving you
Is what I was tryin' to do
Suddenly it all hit him. Why he was so hopeless without her, and why he was dependent, and why he was crying at night. He loved her. Logan Elias Huntzberger, Yale's former Casanova, had truly fallen deep in love with one Lorelai Leigh Gilmore.
It's hard to deal with the pain of losing you everywhere I go
But I'm doin' it
It's hard to force that smile when I see our old friends and I'm alone
Colin, Finn, Steph, Rose, Juliet, they all started out as his friends. As they got closer, they also became her friends. When they got together they became their friends. Now they doesn't exist anymore. He'd just smile, and look relieved at his newfound freeness.
Still harder
Getting up, getting dressed, livin' with this regret
He would wake up, and go to class because he was not in the mood to deal with his father anymore. He was just upset enough already that he just wasn't in the mood. He would do all this, and then go to the bar, as if he was in a trance. It was a routine, and then, he would go back to his apartment, and cry himself to sleep.
But I know if I could do it over
I would trade give away
all the words that I saved in my heart
That I left unspoken
When she re-enrolled in school, he was too happy that she was back on track, to give up. He was going to do anything he could to get her back.
What hurts the most
Was being so close
And having so much to say
And watching you walk away
He tried everything. Books, fruits, presents, heck, he even paid the coffee cart to follow around. Nothing worked.
And never knowing
What could have been
And not seeing that loving you
Is what I was tryin' to do
He began to give up hope, because no matter what he did, she always persisted. Finally, he got a good idea. There was one person that Rory valued the opinion of. Lorelai. So he willingly walked into the lion's den, and faced the wrath of Lorelai. He listened to her argue, and insult him and refuse. But then he saw realization come into her eyes. She realized that he came to see her despite the obvious dislike she always had for him. She saw that this boy really loved her daughter. So she wrote a letter to Rory. For all he knew, it could be about her hate for him, but it was his only hope. He saw a chance, and he took it.
Not seeing that loving you
That's what I was trying to do
She was going to give him a chance, and that was all that mattered.
Ooohhh