"I have realized something very important," Near said in his most recent message to Light and—for some odd reason that defies all logic—L. Matsuda was there too, but no one cared about him.
"We need to have a teambuilding activity."
Light shook his head violently as L's hand moved towards the microphone's button. "No!" he mouthed, "No!" L smiled and hit the button.
"We'd love to do some teambuilding."
"Are you sure this is the right place?" Matsuda trailed behind L and Light down the hallway of a hotel. "Yeah. But just in case this is a trap, you go in first," Light shoved Matsuda into Room 117.
"You're here," Near was sitting on the floor at a table that had been set up. A frilly table cloth covered the table and six teacups and several plates of sweets were set out around it.
"Ooh! A tea party!" Matsuda said, sounding rather girly. L joined him, Light, and Near in the room and rolled his eyes. "Idiot."
"What about the teambuilding activity?" Light asked.
"This is it," Near motioned for everyone to sit down. Two of the three did so grudgingly. Can you guess the one that was overjoyed to?
"There are still two empty seats," L commented.
"Oh," Near looked up from his teacup, "I forgot to tell you. I also invited—"
"Yeah! Tea party!" Matt ran into the room. He sat down across from Matsuda, who promptly high-fived the latest guest.
"Heck yeah!"
Light just stared at the two tea party enthusiasts. L and Near were too busy recreating the Parthenon with sugar cubes.
"This is awesome," Matsuda beamed. Matt's mouth was full of sugar cookie, so he just gave a thumbs up. Near had gotten in a fight over the scale of their sugar cube creation and left L. He was now sitting on the floor building a pyramid of dice.
L hasn't accused me of being Kira at all today. He must know I know he knows I know that. If I comment on it now will it raise suspicion? Or is that what L thinks Kira thinks? Maybe glaring at L isn't helping. But if I stop now he'll think—
Light's paranoid train of thought ended when the door was broken down.
"MATT!" Mello stood in the doorway, gun in one hand, chocolate bar in the other. "Where the hell have you been? I've—Matt, put that teacup down right now!"
"But it's a tea party! C'mon! Join in!" Matt offered a teacup to Mello.
"What? No!" he swatted the cup away. The pale pink cup knocked over Near's dice pyramid in its fall. Near, unbothered, started rebuilding.
L was too deep in deep, philosophical thoughts to notice. Light was too deep in too-deep, paranoid thoughts to notice. Matsuda just didn't notice. He was thinking about cats with mustaches.
"I'm not leaving!" Matt said.
"Yes you are!" Mello pointed his gun at the tea party-goer.
"No I'm not!" A cookie was thrown at Mello.
"Yes you are!" A chair was thrown at Matt.
"No I'm not!" A scone was thrown at Mello.
"Yes… you… ARE!" The table was flipped over onto Matt.
"My tea party!" Near leapt up, suddenly showing emotion.
Matsuda's eyes narrowed. "You. Did not. Just. Ruin. This. Tea party." He whipped out a gun and went trigger happy on Mello, yelling some words I shouldn't repeat while he did so. Mello fell to the ground, red liquid seeping out of his shirt. Matt fell to his knees next to him.
"Mello! No! Speak to me!"
"Dude, I'm fine," Mello sat up, "But these jelly donuts aren't." He pulled out a bullet-hole-filled box of donuts from under his shirt.
"Wait, what?" Matsuda was confused. He was confused fairly easily, actually. Heck, he still wasn't sure how he wound up at this tea party.
"I was saving these donuts for Near's birthday!"
"Really?" Near was touched by Mello's gesture.
"No." At that, he and Matt left.
The four who were left stood around the mess Mello had made awkwardly. L started towards the door and Light followed. Matsuda trailed behind again. He was still confused.