Barney looked down at his hand curled in a fist, still bleeding. He looked up and saw what was left of the mirror above the bathroom sink. A flash of light caught his eye. He looked down, into the sink, and saw a broken shard of glass. He hadn't realized he had actually moved until he looked down and saw his hand holding the shard, hovering over his bare forearm.
Barney let out a sigh as he slowly pressed the glass into his skin.
He had promised himself that he wouldn't do this again. He wouldn't allow his emotions and personal relationships to drive him to the edge. To make him do this again. He didn't think he could live with himself if he was hospitalized again. He barely survived the last time. Now it was happening again.
He couldn't help but slowly and deeply drag the edge across his skin. He watched as blood seeped from the wound and gradually dripped onto the stainless, white tiles. Forever present.
His thoughts drifted back to earlier this evening. He had broken up with Nora for her. She, though, she just shook her head 'no'. She had taken the easy and selfish way out. He had given up the best relationship he has ever had (besides with her) for her.
How? How could she?
He remembered how for what felt like an eternity, he just stood next to the bar. Wondering. What would he do with his life now? He'd broken his girlfriend's (ex- now) heart and in turn had his broken by his ex.
He had felt a phantom hand take a hold of his heart and gripped it, pulling it out of his chest. He had gone back to Ted's apartment and had had to clean up her room and bed.
He had decorated it for when they got back together.
Why? Why had she lied to him? Deceived him.
He couldn't remember exactly what happened after that, but he figured he had just walked into their bathroom and…came to here.
Standing in front of shattered mirror slowly trying to erase his emotional pain through physical pain. He couldn't bear being here anymore. Not in her apartment.
He quickly pulled down his sleeves and took a breath before opening the bathroom door. When he stepped outside it, he saw Ted, Lily, and Marshall talking in hushed voices in the center of the main room. He was about to try to run out of the apartment when Ted, who was sitting in the chair facing the bathroom, quickly stood up and Lily and Marshall turned around and stood as well.
He was terrified. He didn't think he could handle his friends finding out about what he just did.
He didn't want to be alone again.
He took a step back and as he did Ted spoke.
"Barney, dude, what happened early, are you okay?" Ted actually looked genuinely concerned. Actually, all three of them did.
Barney didn't know why. He didn't think they knew anything besides that he broke up with Nora, so what did they have to be concerned about?
"I'm fine." He didn't even try to force a grin or even a small smile – anything to reassure his friends.
He just couldn't.
Not now.
"There's obviously something bothering you, Barney. Why else would you be here and not in your apartment." Lily retorted. Ted wisely didn't mention that he saw Barney cleaning out her room. He doubted Barney even remembered Ted standing there watching as Barney locked himself in the bathroom.
"There's also the fact that your hand is bleeding as well as…your arm?" Ted's matter-of-fact tone turned to one of confusion as he watched the blood slowly seep into his white button-down shirt sleeve. He had heard Barney break the glass earlier, that was why he called Marshall and Lily, but he hadn't know about the arm. Was it from the mirror?
Barney's eyes widened at this, and he muttered an almost silent, "I gotta go," before trying to speed walk to the door with his head down.
Marshall stepped in front of him and put his hand on Barney's shoulder to stop him.
"Come on, dude, what's wrong? At least show us what happened to your arm." Marshall spoke before Barney got the chance to.
Barney again tempted to walk past Marshall saying something along the lines of having to get up early the next day, but Ted just walked over to Barney and grabbed his uninjured hand. He turned Barney around and without giving him time to react, shoved his shirt sleeve up his arm.
Lily quietly gasped, Marshall's eyes widened, and Ted's mouth opened slightly as they stared at the deep cuts covering Barney's arm. For his part, Barney kept his eyes fixed on the floor and tried to pretend this was just a nightmare. That he was actually anywhere but here. Anywhere. (Well, mostly anywhere.)
When Barney looked up his eyes were glistening with unshed tears as he whispered, "I'm sorry, guys." Before pushing past Marshall and Ted and quickly exiting the apartment, leaving his three friends staring at his retreating back.
A/N: Any good? I LOVE vulnerable/hurt/depressed!Barney so yeah...Please review I'd like to know if anyone likes this so as to know if I should continue of not...Please review, reviews are like fandoms. Once you become addicted you can't stop. EVER.