Sort of OOC, could be AU, hints of Shonen Ai. NOthing graphic but there is language.
Authors note-Hey! Sorry it's so depressing but I was in a miserable mood and just had a miserable fight with my girlfriend. So for the disclaimer-I dont own them. Wish to god i did...but nope. So yeah. Have a blast and if you are wonderful wonderful people you will review
OK, I can't deal with this anymore. Maybe where you are from it's ok to screw with someone like this, but I don't operate under rules like that. What was this to you? A pysch paper? "What makes a freak a freak?" Or maye it was your community service? "Be-nice-to-a-freak week?" Or I know that you love science, where you trying to study me? Or maybe you were bored? So you decided to screw with me for a while and then you found something better to do?
Because whatever it is, I just want to tell you how fucking insensitive you have been. Your bullshit about being sensitive, it's not true sweetheart. You have been completely selfish and self-centred.
I thought you seemed like a nice person, I don't know why, but for some stupid reason I trusted you. I guess that's not your fault, but mine for opening myself up to someone. I'm sorry that I scared you, I'm sorry that you think I'm such a freak, but does that give you this assumed right to treat me like shit? Because you are. Like I am dirt under you all-mighty, perfect soldier boots.
Because you see, right now I am left hanging, I don't know what to do, to say, and it makes things damn awkward to say the least. So I'm guessing that this is your way of saying fuck off. But do you know how much easier it would have been if you had just said fuck off? Because now I'm beating myself up over what I did. What did I do that finally made you not be able to stand me anymore? Is it something that I could have fixed? Or was it just part of my abrasive personality?
You see, I guess I've been expecting this. I never understod why you would have liked me in the first place. What you don't think my stupid jokes and constant inane grins are anything more than masks, just like your stupid perfect fucking soldier mask. I thought I had gotten through that mask, but really you were just showing me another one weren't you? A prettier one. But what I wasn't expecting to happen was for you to play with my mind like this.
I can sort of understand how hard it must be for you to talk about emotions, believe me my jokers mask doesn't mean that its easy for me, oh you aren't the only one. But that doesn't give you this right to leave me beating myself up over what I did this time.
I guess in part I am unfairly blaming you for my low self-confidence and all of my insecurities, I heaping all my fears and hurts from every time something like this happened or I had thought it would onto you. But it still hurts. It hurts that one minute you seemed perfectly friendly and the next pissed off at me. But it hurts even more that it seemed like you ...well at least put up with me...and then suddenly you won't even deign to explain why you are so pissed at me.
I am not quite sure what I am trying to say. I guess that yeah you hurt me, but in a way you taught me a valuable lesson. Two really, don't trust people, and don't ever open yourself up to them. I'm sorry I did that to you, and I am sorry you didn't like what I showed you.
However, whatever I did, you are doing worse now. Because I never treated you like you were anything less than a human. Ever.
So if you can ever bring yourself to talk to me, it would always be nice to find out what finally triggered this, but whatever. I have enough of my own insecurities without beating myself up over yours. And you see, now I can't trust you, I will always be wondering whether what I am doing will "passively piss you off" and above all I will be wondering, does he really care about me at all? Or is this all some big ego boost for him? So...I guess, since you don't seem to care, and I seem to care too much, that this is a goodbye...
And by the way... I know that you are pissed at me, never want to talk to me again, and if possible never want to see me again. I know you hate me anyways, so this shouldn't make a difference. but...I'm in love with you.
Authors note-Hey! Sorry it's so depressing but I was in a miserable mood and just had a miserable fight with my girlfriend. So for the disclaimer-I dont own them. Wish to god i did...but nope. So yeah. Have a blast and if you are wonderful wonderful people you will review
OK, I can't deal with this anymore. Maybe where you are from it's ok to screw with someone like this, but I don't operate under rules like that. What was this to you? A pysch paper? "What makes a freak a freak?" Or maye it was your community service? "Be-nice-to-a-freak week?" Or I know that you love science, where you trying to study me? Or maybe you were bored? So you decided to screw with me for a while and then you found something better to do?
Because whatever it is, I just want to tell you how fucking insensitive you have been. Your bullshit about being sensitive, it's not true sweetheart. You have been completely selfish and self-centred.
I thought you seemed like a nice person, I don't know why, but for some stupid reason I trusted you. I guess that's not your fault, but mine for opening myself up to someone. I'm sorry that I scared you, I'm sorry that you think I'm such a freak, but does that give you this assumed right to treat me like shit? Because you are. Like I am dirt under you all-mighty, perfect soldier boots.
Because you see, right now I am left hanging, I don't know what to do, to say, and it makes things damn awkward to say the least. So I'm guessing that this is your way of saying fuck off. But do you know how much easier it would have been if you had just said fuck off? Because now I'm beating myself up over what I did. What did I do that finally made you not be able to stand me anymore? Is it something that I could have fixed? Or was it just part of my abrasive personality?
You see, I guess I've been expecting this. I never understod why you would have liked me in the first place. What you don't think my stupid jokes and constant inane grins are anything more than masks, just like your stupid perfect fucking soldier mask. I thought I had gotten through that mask, but really you were just showing me another one weren't you? A prettier one. But what I wasn't expecting to happen was for you to play with my mind like this.
I can sort of understand how hard it must be for you to talk about emotions, believe me my jokers mask doesn't mean that its easy for me, oh you aren't the only one. But that doesn't give you this right to leave me beating myself up over what I did this time.
I guess in part I am unfairly blaming you for my low self-confidence and all of my insecurities, I heaping all my fears and hurts from every time something like this happened or I had thought it would onto you. But it still hurts. It hurts that one minute you seemed perfectly friendly and the next pissed off at me. But it hurts even more that it seemed like you ...well at least put up with me...and then suddenly you won't even deign to explain why you are so pissed at me.
I am not quite sure what I am trying to say. I guess that yeah you hurt me, but in a way you taught me a valuable lesson. Two really, don't trust people, and don't ever open yourself up to them. I'm sorry I did that to you, and I am sorry you didn't like what I showed you.
However, whatever I did, you are doing worse now. Because I never treated you like you were anything less than a human. Ever.
So if you can ever bring yourself to talk to me, it would always be nice to find out what finally triggered this, but whatever. I have enough of my own insecurities without beating myself up over yours. And you see, now I can't trust you, I will always be wondering whether what I am doing will "passively piss you off" and above all I will be wondering, does he really care about me at all? Or is this all some big ego boost for him? So...I guess, since you don't seem to care, and I seem to care too much, that this is a goodbye...
And by the way... I know that you are pissed at me, never want to talk to me again, and if possible never want to see me again. I know you hate me anyways, so this shouldn't make a difference. but...I'm in love with you.