Romance challenge information:
Day/Fic Number: 06
Representation(s): Harry Potter/Ginny Weasley
Word count: 468
Warning(s): implied dubious consent; implied use of a love potion; undertones of asexuality
Happy Valentine's Day!
~xXx~
The words echoed around his head, like a song repeated over and over again. He couldn't quite believe them, and he couldn't say them back.
"I love you," she said.
Do you mean it? he wondered.
Of course she did. She wouldn't have said a thing unless she was absolutely certain. Ginny was like that, Harry knew.
There was something wrong with him. He wanted to say he loved her too. . . but there was something off, though he couldn't place his finger on it. It felt like he was always brushing someone's Occlumency walls, never quite breaking through, only seeing flashes of the truth.
His heart didn't seem to beat right, his brain fuzzy and disconnected, especially when he was around Ginny.
And it felt so wretchedly wrong.
He felt compelled say he loved her, but he didn't, not really. He felt like someone told him he did, but there wasn't any way he could he could be sure it was real.
Harry couldn't hurt her, either. He was being pulled every which way trying to figure out how to keep himself from lying and not break her heart.
Harry felt this overwhelming need to spare her from harm. . . and it didn't feel right. It didn't seem like something he'd feel. It was like there was someone else inside of his head, much deeper and darker than Voldemort had ever been, influencing his thoughts and emotions.
It was unnerving, frightening.
There was something very similar in his feelings to something he'd heard long ago. . . he couldn't remember when, or where. He didn't even know for sure what had been said. Everything seemed to be a hazy block of shadows in his mind when he tried to focus on those thoughts.
He squinted as if that would help him sort through his memories.
His mind didn't feel like it used to. His heart didn't feel like his own. He couldn't love her. He knew, in the deepest corners of his brain, that he never would.
But something told him that he did. Harry had never been in love before. . . he didn't know what it was supposed to feel like.
How can I doubt this when I have no reason to?
There was something missing. . . some piece of the puzzle he'd misplaced. . . if only he could find it—something clicked.
Harry blinked.
"Harry? Say something," Ginny whispered.
"I love you too," he said.
Ginny snuggled closer to Harry, smiling in relief. Harry told himself that it was because he'd taken so long to reply to her.
That must've been it, he reasoned.
There was a nagging thought in the back of his head, like a small bug, saying that there was something wrong. Harry pushed the thought aside and wrapped his arm around Ginny's shoulders, closing his eyes.
I love you.