A/N: Set just after Daniel gets back from Ascension so start of season 7. This was a response to the fact I said I wanted a bored SG-1 story on LJ after being bored one afternoon last week. Noxbait challenged me to have a go at my own suggestion. Noxbait YOUR TURN NEXT! Hehehe!
SG-1 and Jerry Lee Hooker
BOOOM!
It had been a long day and everyone was sitting in the commissary when the explosion went off. The sound the fury was only instantaneous but it was very effective. There had been no damage but a lot of sound and smoke at the hot food counter. Commissary staff were frightened out of their skins with some of them backing off fast from the hot food server and most teams including SG-1 were startled out of their seats training kicking in. All heads whipped around in unison towards the sound of the explosions with the more civilian scientific staff screaming slightly at the sound including the more fresh faced newbies who had no idea of life around the SGC. Felgar had just run out of the door hoping for some place to hide.
General Hammond had been called but there was nothing that had been found around the site of the incident. "Are you sure it wasn't a blown lamp?" enquired General Hammond. Jack as base 2IC had been called into the office. "Well gee sir I guess I didn't think to ask. Of course when I had them turn the heating lamps on and off a few times they were thoroughly ticked – so maybe that answered that question?" George shook his head. He trusted his people to be professional but with pranks being banned it was obvious that someone's head was about to roll. Normally Jack O'Neill's caustic brand of sarcasm would be tolerated. Today however was a different story. "Jack I know that it has been a hard few weeks with Daniel taking some time away from the front lines to catch up on some of his work for the SGC but surely that does not warrant mild insubordination MR!" Jack had the good grace to look contrite. "Yessir! Sorry sir Jack stuck his hands in his pockets and shuffled his feet slightly. "I guess I'll go and start the investigation." George Hammond, General scowled. "You do that Colonel and I suggest you find a way to make sure that this is the only incident." Jack walked out of the good general's office praying that this would be the only time this happened.
It wasn't.
SG-3 had just come out of the tac room with all their gear in tow and were standing outside the gateroom getting their packs onto their backs with their canteens added to the side pockets to be within easy reach. Colonel Reynolds smiled at the bumbling archaeologist/ all round nice guy of SG-1 Daniel Jackson came along the corridor of level 28 with a cup of coffee and two sugar sachets in his hand. "Doctor Jackson! How are you?" Daniel smiled and nodded. "Colonel, heading out?" Reynolds rolled his eyes. "Yeah meet and greet with an indigineous tribe on M4X-553, apparently we have to try real hard not to get married off when we're there. Hey wanna come? Ya know get a nice girl to bring home?" Daniel's eyes glazed a little in pain and he hid it well that much the good colonel could see. "AAAAHummm, I'll pass thank you. Looks like the cap on your canteen is loose." Reynolds turned and looked. "Oh? Hadn't noticed it." Daniel smiled softly. "Want me to check the pack over and fix the cap?" It was a routine check they all did to ensure everything sat in place and that nothing vital would drop when they were running. Daniel placed his cup on the floor and ran a quick check unscrewing the cap and ensured it went on tight. Then the marines in his squad started to do the same and Reynolds felt his 2IC in the team check it again. Daniel lifted his coffee and smiled again. "Right, have a great boys, Reynolds." And off he tottered.
BOOM!
Reynolds canteen exploded right there in the gate room just in the middle of the good General saying his traditional "Godspeed". The gate technician's eyes in the control room simply bulged out of their eye sockets. Walter covered his mouth and was literally hiccupping trying to disguise his laughter as said canteen shot up from the side pocket and hit the window overlooking the Stargate. He'd never seen General Hammond go so many shades of red and purple in one go! What was even funnier was the fact that he grabbed the mike and screamed for Jack O'Neill to his office. That was the day many people within the SGC watch the colonel move like his ass had been set on fire with hordes of Jaffa on his tail and return to his office like a smacked little puppy.
It was another month before the next incident occurred. By this stage the Marines had figured out that it was MRE heating packs that were responsible for the explosions. One of Reynolds team had pulled the same prank on his commanding officer during the mission and he was suspended for a week from active duty for that although he had denied carrying out the gateroom prank. His team mates confirmed this and the responsible person had now been dubbed the 'Mad MRE bomber'. Sam had been sifting through the security video at 3am during one of her all nighters and found nothing to be amiss. She had just got some new 'toys' through from the Asgard and had been doing the review on a coffee break. She sighed. 'Whoever this person is has just made this base interesting'. Shaking her head and rubbing her eyes she got back to work.
Lieutenant Evans held onto her coffee as she was watching as Daniel Jackson came out of the infirmary. She was just getting ready to start her shift at the table Daniel had been leaning on. "Another visit with the Doctor, Doctor?" She giggled at her lame joke. Daniel sighed and inwardly rolled his eyes. "Yup! Just in for an update on my vaccinations." Evans nodded. Janet had been on a rampage about keeping vaccinations on off world teams up to date. She smiled at Nurse Bennett who had been watching the in patients during the day. Thankfully there was only one patient tonight to keep an eye on. Sargent Siler had managed to give himself a concussion – AGAIN. She set her coffee on the desk and sat down. Janet came in and turned to Daniel. "Daniel, right that's your blood work back and you are now up to date on your jabs. You can go back to work now" Daniel smiled shyly at Janet and his gaze lingered on her briefly and moved off the table. He breathed in the coffee scent like it was a drug and his eyes narrowed in suspicion. "Lieutenant, that smells liked nice coffee, where did you get it?" Evans shifted in her chair slightly. Everyone knew that the good archaeologist kept a secret stash of the stuff in his filing cabinet and on occasion some of the SF's could be talked into stealing a small amount to make a pot in one of the conference rooms on the sixteenth floor in the video room. The night shift guards had managed to organise a grab of the stash earlier this afternoon when SG-1 was known to be in a briefing. This cup had been from the second pot. She looked at him guiltily. "I, uh, was given a cup by one of the SF's who keep a warm pot up on the sixteenth floor." Daniel's eyes narrowed and then relaxed. He smiled sweetly. "It smells familiar like the brand I drink." He watched as she shook her sugar pack and then put it down. Janet shook her head and scowled. "Daniel would you kindly stop harassing my staff and tend to your own please!" He looked slightly scared and high tailed out the door. Janet turned to Evans and shook her head, rolling her eyes and proceeded to begin handover procedures for the night shift staff. They both got coffee from the sixteenth floor when they could. Evans added her sugar and then set the cup down, stepped away from the desk to listen to Janet's briefing.
BOOM!
The cup exploded about a minute into the briefing and the SF's brought a harried Jack O'Neill into the infirmary.
Many people who look at Daniel Jackson assume he's a nice guy with workaholic tendencies. Studious, nurses would say gorgeous even downright warrior geeky. Since returning from ascension a few months ago, Daniel had figured out something else about his personality. He could get bored quite easily when a challenge wasn't put in front of him. Daniel sighed. The work he had been catching up on and training which he needed to remember was kindergarten grade stuff when it came to the SGC which included staff reviews and out of date reports, which needed to typed up instead of being handed in containing his rather dubious handwriting, basic field training and so on. He was so bored right now. He pulled out the sheet of paper from his drawer and looked at the writing in Ancient. Canteen staff – check, Reynolds – check! Lieutenant Evans for theft of coffee – Check! He grinned evilly. The SF's would get their turn soon enough but first things first! Jack O'Neill! He had been hanging around the SGC for so long that people came talked about various things within the SGC assuming that he would not be listen and of course Marines, especially fresh faced marines liked to talk in front of him forgetting that he was there listening. The seasoned officers did not dismiss Daniel lightly but the younger and more inexperienced officers pretended to act like he was not there sometimes. They forgot his status and treated him like Jack did the first time he met him especially after he came back from ascension. It usually took a senior officer to remind them who they were speaking.
It had been about a week ago when Jack wandered into Daniel's office and of course he was bored. He started by trying to talk to Daniel who of course tuned him out. Daniel was really busy preparing a yet another treaty for some planet which for the life of him he could not put the designation to but knew the culture. Some days, one treaty just looked like another. SG-11 had left in a number of priceless artefacts including a ceramic ceremonial bowl which had been hand painted from a Grecian society that had some very interesting customs regarding hosting guests. The bowl told a story of how they came to be and Daniel was trying to get the paperwork of this treaty for SG-15 out of the way so he could study it without distraction – a treat for the end of the day. Jack continued to talk and Daniel saw the infamous red yoyo shoot past his ear. Once, twice, three times. He growled in frustration. "Jack!"
"Daniel?"
"Jack! Stop being an ass and put the yoyo away! You're gonna break something!"
"Daniel, I'm perfectly in control here. I'm becoming quite the master! Wanna see my 'round the world' trick" Daniel sighed again and shook his head. "To quote Teal'c 'I have a bad feeling about his O'Neill'"
"How many times does that make for the Star Wars Trilogy?" Jack's smirk was evident.
"Original or Special Edition?" Daniel queried. Jack grinned and started the yoyo on it's up and down path. In moments he developed enough of a rhythm that he swung the yoyo out on its arch upwards just in time to connect with the bowl and smack into the rim. The crack alone made Daniel wince but the resulting fall from the momentum of the yoyo made Daniel want to cry. Jack took one look at the bowl and ran.
Two weeks after the infirmary incident Daniel had just come out of one of the cubicles in the men's room of the 18th floor to find Jack waiting. "Jack" Daniel nodded. "Daniel" Jack made his way to the stall and closed the door. This was it. Jack kept a magazine in that stall which he read when he 'went'. There were no cameras in here and like the other times he had become a bit of an expert at not getting caught. He reached into his pocket and ripped off the top of the heating pack. Running some water in the sink he set the plug in and tipped the contents into the sink. Daniel made his way out of the toilets and stood outside the door waiting.
BOOM!
The cry that went up was delicious as it was loud. Sam had been passing the toilet when Jack cried out. "Daniel, was that the Colonel I heard? What's wrong with him?" Daniel shoved his hands in his pockets and dropped his head to hide his smile. He controlled his features quickly making them look pained and sighed.
"Yep, he has explosive diarrhoea!"
A/N 2: Right here's a challenge if you enjoyed this have a go! I DARE YOU!PM me when you post and I'll take a read! Let's see what we can make of a bored SG-1! After all there is 10 seasons to play with!
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