Author's Note: this story is all about Chris's and his emotions and thoughts. It is set directly after "oh my goddess" as he is wandering around downstairs. This story is from Chris's POV.
Disclaimer: I do not own, nor do I claim to own any of the character, places, or events from Charmed, wish I did though
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I had seen their faces. I had seen my aunts' faces: suspicious, as was the entire family's nature, frustrated, but at the same time trusting, mostly because they didn't have much of a choice. I had seen the face of my father, absent so much during my childhood. It was full of distrust towards me and worry for the sisters, for his wife, for his son. I had also seen the look he had on his face as he looked upon him, not full-out hate, but with doubt and suspicion. Really, I wasn't all that surprised, after all this was Leo, the man might as well have been preprogrammed to not like or trust me. Nothing I can do about that.
And I had also seen my mothers face, full of the same inner beauty, love and protectiveness that I remembered her having eight years ago. I would have to be careful around her, because as much as I might want to delude myself of the reality, I also knew that this was not his mother, this was Piper, Piper, not Mom. This was not the same person that used to tuck me in at night, or sing me to sleep, nor was she the person that taught me how to cook when I got bored of just watching TV and Wyatt was Up There. Piper was not the person that could read me like an open book. Piper was not Mom. Not yet. He couldn't afford to get them mixed up.
And then there was Wyatt. Sweet, innocent, powerful, going to grow up to be the source of all evil Wyatt. God it was weird seeing him look so…so… good. To see him as a toddler crying for his bottle or fussing to be held and not as the evil man that terrorizes and kills every being he sees as a threat. That sort of thing can seriously mess with a person's mind. To see him so young and innocent, it just strengthens my resolve to try my damn hardest to keep him like that.
They're all asleep right now; I can sense them, just upstairs. Blissfully ignorant of the hell the future becomes, as well as the true reason that it becomes that way. Leo is probably being tested by the Valkyries right now for his strength, hopefully he will be out of my hair for a while. And as much as I want to believe that sending him there is strictly to prepare him for future events, I have to admit that it gives me a bit of pleasure thinking about him there. If that makes me a bad son, well, who the hell cares, he was a bad father.
And as bad as it is, standing here in my childhood home, with no threats of probes, no tours, no constant attentiveness to make sure that nobody that I don't want to catches me, it makes me feel safe. And that is not something that I need, I need to be strong and alert, just like I was back home. I need to be the strong one, the invincible one, the commander, just like the people in the resistance see me as. I need to keep the protector and leader mentality that I had acquired then.
But it's hard, because these walls seem to know that I recognize and know them and it makes me wonder how long it will take before the sisters realize that too. Before Mom, no, Piper realizes that. I know that it will be hard to hide it from them. I know that even the smallest slip up can make them suspicious of me, and I really don't want to lie to them anymore than I already am going to.
As I move around the house memories of happy and not so happy times plague me. Over there is where I broke that lamp while playing ball in the house. That chair is where I held my younger cousin Mel for the first time after she was brought home from the hospital. I always used to do my homework at that table right after school. That alcove is where I got shot by my first darklighter arrow, Aunt Paige had to go get Sam to heal it because Leo wouldn't answer the calls. Mom died on that stair with three energy balls to the back. I'm starting to think that maybe taking a walk through the house for old times sake wasn't such a great idea. I can't have those kind of thoughts running through my head. All that they will do is make me an emotional wreck. And I can't have that happen. If that happens then the sisters will take pity on me, and I need to stay just their whitelighter, pure business. I need them to keep me in their minds as their protector, and I need to keep them separated from my family in my mind. I have to focus on my mission, because if I succeed, then maybe none of this will happen. I need to focus. I need to shut myself off from emotion and from distraction.
I need to leave this house. I've got work to do.
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