The Nicest Person Ever
"What is it?" Sherlock shouted down the stairs to the door. There came another knock, but no verbal answer. "Come in, whoever you are!"
He'd been expecting that it was John. In fact, he'd known that it was John, and he was right. It was who was with John who he hadn't known about.
"Well, Sherlock, I'm glad we all had time to come out and play," James Moriarty said as he snapped his fingers. Ten snipers came out of the bushes and into the house, surrounding Sherlock. "Now, I'd prefer it if you put your hands up, but I know that's never going to happen unless we threaten to kill John. But you already know we aren't going to kill John yet, so I guess we'll just have to take you like this."
"Sherlock?" Mrs. Hudson came up the stairs. "What in land's name is going on?"
"Mrs. Hudson, get back downstairs!" Sherlock hissed.
Mrs. Hudson spotted Moriarty. "Well, Jimmy, shall I get you a cuppa, dear? But just this once, I'm not your housekeeper."
"What the hell?" John said.
"James, James—escort Mrs. Hudson out with us," Moriarty ordered. The two men quickly trained their firearms on the landlady.
"What's going on?" Mrs. Hudson asked, confused.
"Well, dear, I've had a change of heart about our little relationship. Now come with me or I'll blow your head off," Moriarty told her.
"And I thought I could trust you," Mrs. Hudson sniffed.
"Now, let's hurry," Jim said. "Or else I won't have time to see Molly, and we all know what a shame that would be."
"You were cheating on me?!" Mrs. Hudson screamed. All the snipers covered their ears. "I should have known you would sink that low as to cheat on a poor woman like me!"
"Now, come, Mrs. Hudson," John said, walking toward her. "That lowlife cheating on you is good—better, at least, than what he's doing now."
"Don't move, Johnny Boy! Or else Daddy will have to shoot one of your friends!" Moriarty teased. John was still.
"Who the hell are you?!" There came a voice behind Moriarty. Everyone turned and saw that it was Donavan. "What are you doing here?"
"I, my dear, am the consulting criminal Jim Moriarty!" the psychopath cackled.
"So he does exist…" Sally Donavan mumbled before fainting.
"Leave her," Moriarty said. "She won't think she really saw it; she'll assume she's going crazy. That's the best thing about humans—before believing in themselves, they always consider whether they're crazy."
"Why do you want us, Jimmy?" Mrs. Hudson asked. "I thought you were my friend!"
"I have no friends, you idiot," Moriarty told her. "I'm a consulting criminal; I have no time or energy for friends."
"Well, if you're going to kidnap them, get on with it, please. I have to meet my cousin Joe at a bar," one of the snipers said, bored.
"James! What did I say about meeting at bars? It looks strange. So don't do it!" Moriarty told him. "Just shut up! But yes, please bring them out to the car."
Just then, John turned around and punched Moriarty in the nose. Sherlock started beating up the snipers surrounding Mrs. Hudson, then the ones surrounding John. "Get down on the ground!" one of the snipers shouted. "Or else we'll shoot the old lady!" Sherlock and John were still.
"John," Moriarty gasped, trying to block the stream of blood pouring from his nose. "You were a naughty boy, and so was Sherlock…you'll pay for that."
"I don't care," John said as the snipers brought a gun against his head with a loud CRACK! John collapsed, and the snipers stuffed him into a sack.
"YOU HURT JOHN!" Sherlock shouted. He kicked one of the men holding him square in the chest, and he tumbled to the ground, choking and gasping for breath. Sherlock punched another man on the underside of his nose, and the man, after staring at Sherlock for a second, fell to the ground, dead. Suddenly, Mrs. Hudson smacked a man in the back, and he collapsed, paralyzed. "You know karate?" Sherlock asked.
"Of course I do, dear," Mrs. Hudson told him. "A woman should always learn martial arts."
"Enough chat!" shouted Moriarty. "Okay, I have to admit that the karate thing surprised me the slightest bit, but we must get on with the kidnapping! James, would you kindly take the woman outside?"
"Do I have to?" he groaned, looking at his watch. "I'm supposed to meet Joe in a half hour, and I can tell this is going to take a while."
"Who cares about your fucking cousin?!" Moriarty shouted. "Just take her outside to the car, and I'll…I guess I can give you a raise!"
"Really?" James asked.
"No, just take her outside."
"Fine." James began to escort Mrs. Hudson outside.
"No!" Sherlock shouted, trying to walk to protect his landlady, but Moriarty shook his head.
"Now, Sherlock, don't be a naughty boy. You know well that I could shoot either one of them