Emptiness
A Kingdom Hearts 3 Oneshot
Spoilers
Sora felt… empty. There was no other word for it. His heart, once a bursting thing of light and connections, rang hollow. Was there anything in there? He couldn't tell.
He watched his friends everyone except Kairi mill about in happiness. The way they clung on to each other and smile you would have thought they won. Perhaps they did. He saw their bodies floating and their hearts taken by the lich. Xehanort was gone, their friends were back. That's more than some of these guardians of light had in more than a decade. He wasn't going to begrudge them their victory. Maybe he was greedy.
But was it so much to ask for something to fill the emptiness?
Ever since Ven left- Ever since Ven was saved Sora could feel a difference. It was better for Ven this way. Sora had been happy to reunite him with his friends. When he saved his heart from the lich it had felt strange to let it go. Roxas and Xion out and about added to the feeling. They were free and missing.
What did his heart look like now? Separated, never fully recovered from becoming a shadow, and he still wasn't sure what Xehanort had pulled earlier. If Ven's heart had shattered from losing his darkness, then what was the effect of having your light carved out during battle? He was glad that everyone has shown up after that debacle. It'd bring up bad memories for Ven if he realized what happened.
Donald and Goofy may not have even realized what was happening since Sora had been using rage form more and more. Did they notice that this time Sora didn't have a choice? Could they sense his utter desperation to become whole? Still hurts, still craves light, still empty and alone. But it was just fine now. He'd shake it off. Like aways. Just give him more than fifteen minutes. Donald and Goofy would never have to worry. As of now the two looked content.
Everyone looked up at where Kingdom Hearts wasn't anymore, completely satisfied.
"It's finally over." Mickey pronounced. Sora could just hear the king's smile.
Sora took a steadying breath. He almost asked, voice full of disbelief, 'how?' but answered his own question. It was obvious. If he wasn't so useless, oh how much that word had been thrown about, he would have seen it sooner. Because they were done. Because their goal was to take out the old man. See, there was their win.
It was Sora's thing to save his friends. Save his friends and incidentally put an end to whatever bad guy stood in his way. Was he really supposed to be happy he watched a man dissolve into sparkles?
Was he dreaming again? Had he ever left the sleeping worlds? With how floaty he was feeling what else could it be? Oh, maybe that was because he'd died earlier. Since apparently he'd been passing through the realm of death in his dreams he could see how he could get confused.
"No."
A moment of silence passed. Riku spoke up and Sora almost turned around. His trust for his best friend almost overrode the nothingness with in him. At least Riku realized that someone was missing.
But he said Yen Sid. He said wait.
And Yen Sid left Aqua alone, waiting in the darkness for years.
"No." Sora repeated himself. "I know what to do." Not leave it in the hands of an old man who had just assumed authority over them all.
It was time to do what he always did. What saved everyone's life again and again.
He may be a blockhead but if there was anything he had learned in this stupid keyblade war it was that he had to put all his heart into his actions. His friends were worth putting everything on the line. He couldn't trust following instructions or playing by someone else's safety book.
Coolly he went through the last few weeks of his life, from the disastrous Mark of Mastery exam that took his power and his master status to being banned from the Realm of Darkness until he disobeyed and saved Riku and Aqua without the power of waking anyways. Before Yen Sid's summons, Sora had been called the keyblade master for years. Then suddenly because of some new enemy's interference Yen Sid said the title was gone. It didn't bother Sora at all until he suddenly wasn't allowed to do anything useful. With everyone's jabs and jokes (at least he hoped they were jokes… Surely Donald knew he could count, right?) for a while he'd accepted that hey, maybe Yen Sid was right. Of the two of them, Riku had years of being stronger while Sora had luck. Luck wasn't enough. Except-
Except he'd gone to save Riku and the King anyways. Without power or mastery. He remembered the snapshot of the moment clearly. He was terrified but determined. Two official keyblade masters were overcome. What use could he be? He'd known what he was walking into and accepted the potentially fatal circumstances.
And lived. And went to save Ven before anyone could tell him not to.
"Sora!" The king protested. Clearly, Sora needed to act fast.
He turned around and forced a smile. This ship runs on happy faces after all. He had to make everyone understand. None of this was their fault. He could still see their bodies and he refused to see them again. Did they even remember? Did they realize they were all the dead walking?.
Sora tried to simplify it. Perhaps they'd understand better. She was the beginning of his journey- see he had a goal from years ago! It was a miracle Riku was ok but he didn't want to get into that. He mentioned the repetition of the situation hoping that a few of them would relate to problems that kept popping up. He locked eyes with Aqua when he mentioned that Kairi was all alone.
There was no way Sora was abandoning Kairi. They had to understand.
"We'll go too." Donald announced like this was just business as usual. Perhaps it was.
"That's right." Goofy nodded. For the first time in a while Sora's heart gave a little twinge. But then he remembered.
Everyone was dead. They'd all assembled for this ridiculous war and they were taken out by shadows before it properly started. They were taken out in an instant and he was among ghosts.
"Thank you, Donald, Goofy. But this time I have to go it alone."
Because he was alone. Truly. For the first time in his memory. His heart was empty.
The king tried to lecture him on the power of waking. On how he may never come home. Since when had that been a concern?
Sora turned up his smile a few notches. If he had a talent then surely it had to be his 'genuine' smiles. Why wasn't Mickey reassured yet? This was strange.
You'd think that if Mickey was really worried about the power of waking then maybe he could have explained it sometime. Sora thought he'd been doing just fine since there were actually people alive in front of him. Although, if young Xehanort was right Sora was already doomed so it didn't really matter. As long as he saved Kairi he'd take that as a win.
She'd been cheated in this battle.
The one of them who really wanted to be a hero, who'd been wanting in on the action for years, and she was just killed- used by Xehanort- no who what he kidding- killed.. Everyone had died. Everyone had been killed. He'd talked to the hearts of a dead child and a regretful mentor, of a mistaken friend and a bitter sibling. He'd seen those who were unable to pass on and he'd gathered enough fragments of himself to be useless again. Useless? Alone again.
You know Sora's useless without us.
"Please…" The king begged. Did he really have so little faith in him? Didn't Mickey know that while Sora couldn't hold on to anyone he could at the very least find them.
Riku clenched his fists and looked up. For a moment Sora thought he was coming over to him but instead he knelt to be on Mickey's level. Sora felt a split second of confusion.
"Let him go, Mickey." Riku convinced the king that Sora wouldn't be stopped and Sora appreciated it. He wasn't sure how long his numbness would last and Sora was certain that Donald and Goofy would stop him no matter what if they saw him shaking.
Now he had to figure out how to convince Riku to stay. Sora admitted that in what little was left in the void of his heart, he wanted Riku with him. It wouldn't be fair of him to deny Riku either. Kairi, Riku, and him- they were a trio, a family.
"Safe journey, Sora." Mickey said.
"Thank you." Sora brought out his keyblade and split the sky. No matter what state his heart was in he had to trust that it'd bring him to Kairi. He turned his head to look back at Riku. Riku hadn't moved.
Sora took a step forward and looked again. Riku still stayed put. Riku… was just going to let him go? Quickly he snapped his head back to the front so nobody would see his face. If he'd thought his heart was empty before something had just kicked out the bottom.
He'd expected… something! When had Riku ever just let him go? Sora suddenly felt like the fourteen year old who just had his best friend try to kill him. His shoes were too big, he was barely hanging onto a smile, and out of his two friends- the only remnants of his home left- none of them were by his side. Sora left out a shaky breath. He'd grown up since then. So had Riku apparently.
"I'll save Kairi." Sora called, reassuring himself more than Riku. Surely Riku still cared about them. "Don't worry Riku."
Still, he heard nothing from Riku.
That was fine.
"Sora, wait!" A voice he took a moment to place rang out. Roxas. Sora was so glad he had his own body. Vaguely he wondered if he'd ever actually get to know his nobody. If Roxas was even his nobody at all given Ven.
He heard running two sets footsteps on the dirt. Arms wrapped around him and he froze, completely still.
"She'll be ok," Xion promised. "This is what you do, right? Bring your friends back?"
"Yeah."
"Thank you, Sora. For everything."
She released him and he tried to relax. It was funny. As much as she looked like Kairi he'd never mistake the two. Xion's variety of determination was wholly her own. He thought that they'd make incredible friends.
Roxas stood in front of him, his arms crossed. He had such an irritated look on his face that contrasted Xion's hopeful one. "Don't look so worried, Sora. Do I really look like I'm gonna stop you? I just got this body."
Sora wished that someday he'd get the chance to be proper friends with him. He was still impressed with the ferocity he'd unleashed on Saix. Sora had barely had to lift a finger with Roxas zooming around with his barrage of light magic. He and Xion made a formidable team. Sure, Sora had to land the killing blow on Saix- just like everyone else in the entire new organization it seemed- but he felt that these two were well equipped to be the keyblade wielders the worlds deserved.
Maybe Axel could take his spot at killing? He used to be an assassin for the first Organization, right? Death was just tiring now. Ha, maybe because it was so close to sleep. He'd always been attached to sleeping.
"Sora?" Roxas stepped closer. He passed over a few potions. "Don't let anything surprise you and don't forget her. Then you won't have any regrets."
"Mmm." Sora nodded. He recentered his keyblade and prepared to jump up. It probably wasn't a good idea to leave the portal open for so long.
"Sora!" Finally Riku was saying something. Sora squeezed his keyblade tight. "Remember, I believe in you."
His empty heart stuttered. For the first time since Xehanort cracked it open and stole his light it didn't hurt. Belief, huh? Not just words for the king, but actual faith. Trust that he was capable on his own.
Why did it take this long?
Why did it take a war where everyone died?
Why did it take being empty and alone?
It wasn't too late. Not at all. Perhaps Riku had come to a similar conclusion as him. But Riku was smarter, surely he'd understood way before Sora. It would have been nice if he'd said something before this.
Sora was the only one who could do anything. Not because he was special, but because that's just how it worked out. His… destiny, if you will.
Was there anything left to say? This could be the last time he saw any of these people, especially if the bratty Xehanort has right. But his usual guiding force was silent. His heart had nothing to say.
With that resolve, he dived into the portal. It was time to save Kairi, alone.
…
He glided passed light and darkness, latching onto his connection to Kairi. Sora was getting closer. He had to be.
"Uh, Sora?" A well-mannered voice spoke in his ear, "where would you say we are? Adding this to the journal is rather difficult without a name."
"Jiminy?!" Sora stared at the cricket.
"Yes, Sora?"
"What are you doing here?!"
"Well," Jiminy chuckled, "someone has to keep track of your achievements. You do have a great number of them under your belt now. Just think, how many young men like you have saved the world so many times?"
"But you heard what young Xehanort said, this is dangerous."
"All the more reason for me to be here. What kind of adventure doesn't have a cricket to keep track of everything? You'll thank me later you know, when everyone's wanting the story." He nodded sagely. "I'm not going anywhere."
Sora didn't have an answer to that and continued gliding. Something in his chest unexpectedly grew warmer.
Perhaps he wasn't quite as alone as he thought.
A/N: Another writing-bug fic! Mostly because I guess I was just trying to process EVERYTHING Sora went through in this game. It... certainly was not kind to the boi. Anyways, formatting is a little strange since I guess there isn't strikethrough text? Huh. Either it was never here or I forgot something obvious. But anyways, most italics here were originally strikethroughs and the underlined were originally italics. Sorry if there was any confusion on that front. Anyways, yep, that's the fic.
