Ryuuk sighed loudly. Admittedly, that human, Yagami Light had been entertaining, and he really had been lucky to have chanced upon the boy. But no more—
Lately, there had been a shortage of apples, along with Light's increasing weight. At first, Ryuuk had scraped it up to be that the boy was still growing. Then, on a bleak afternoon in the midst of a long string of bleak afternoons, he found out the grim truth.
Apple cores were in the trash.
So it had come to this, Ryuuk thought, his hand poised, ready to write the words that would forever end Yagami Light's life. There would no doubt be apples hidden all around his room, apples that he would find…and eat.
…
In the headquarters, L snorted and put down the strawberry he was about to eat. He glanced back at Matsuda.
"There is a 99% chance you want an explanation," L said ambiguously. Matsuda nodded nervously. It wasn't always good to know what L was up to.
"Ever since we have found Ryuuk after the Yotsuba case, I have been thinking. If Light-kun was Kira, and he willingly passed the power of Kira to someone else, then there is a 10% chance that he now has the power back. Added to the fact he does not know that we still have cameras in his room, and that the Shinigami is following him, I raise it up to 90%, as I do not believe that Light-kun's society is anything to beg for. Furthermore, the note that was sent earlier 'L, do you know gods of death love apples' then that percentage rises to 100%, seeing as before, Ryuuk did not eat as much as the apples we have been feeding him. That means that Light-kun, due from past experience, knows exactly what sort of apples that Ryuuk likes. Therefore, I'm arranging for us to feed Light-kun more frequently here and throwing apple cores in the trash in Light-kun's home, thus infuriating Ryuuk to kill Light. And judging by his character, there is a 5% chance that he will make a speech, and a 95% chance that Light-kun will protest on the bases that he is Kira."
Matsuda stared.
"I'm sure you can do simple arithmetic, Matsuda-kun, no matter how consistently you fail with life," L intoned, "but then again, you never know. Well then, 95 added to 5 equates to 100. There is a 100% chance we're catching Kira."
L turned back to the screen. There was forty seconds left.
"Hey Light-o! Wake up for your last forty seconds of life!"
Light stirred. He gazed at his surroundings, eyes darting around before landing on Ryuuk showing his name to him in the Death Note.
"Why?" he gasped like a mad man, "I provided entertainment for you! YOU CAN'T KILL ME, YOU-YOU-YOU FLYING MONKEY ON CRACK!"
Ryuuk sighed.
"Sorry kid, but you haven't been giving me enough apples—"and here, Ryuuk paused as his body arbitrarily inverted upon itself.
"You see, I've decided to side with L. He gives me so much more apples than you. Well, Light-o, it's been fun, but your career as Kira is ended…"
"I've exchanged the Death Note for a fake," L deadpanned before pressing a buzzer.
"LIGHT-KUN! THERE IS A 100% CHANCE YOU ARE KIRA DUE TO RYUUK'S ADMISSION! MISA AMANE IS SECOND KIRA! AS YOU DO NOT KNOW MY REAL NAME, YOU ARE NOW UNDER ARREST! RYUUK-SAN, PLEASE FLY TO HEADQUARTERS IMMEDIATELY; THERE ARE APPLES WAITING."
"B-but!" Matsuda stammered.
"L takes no chances," L said.
"Those weren't the percentages were they?" Weddy said accusingly.
"No. It was a 5% chance...he stole my cake."
A/N: If only…