Disclaimer: Not Stephenie Meyer. No matter how much I wish I could write like her . . .

A/N: I know I should have updated my other story first, and I'm really, really sorry to those who are waiting for the next chapter! Unfortunately, school takes up a lot of my time, and mix that with writer's block, and you get . . . well, real slow updates.

This is just something that came to mind last week, and it kept bothering me so I had to write it down. But I promise I'll update the other story! Soon!

She was supposed to be happy.

In two days, her sister was marrying the man she (A/N: She as in her sister, not her!) would love for the rest of forever. Her family was content, and not, at the moment, about to be murdered at a second's notice.

She should have been happy.

So why wasn't she?

She wasn't the type of person who would take advantage of others' faults to make herself feel superior (or at least she didn't think she was). She wasn't going to laugh at those who were unhappy and mock them for it. She would never take away her sister's happiness for her own plans.

And yet, try as she did, she couldn't force herself to feel the floating, beautiful joy that encased her sister and her fiancé these days.

Why?

She twisted her pale fingers through the soft, powdery mound of snow she sat beside, noting absentmindedly that it was the exact same temperature her skin now was. The weak winter moonlight gleamed dimly off her skin and into the snowdrift, casting dancing shadows of misty gray onto the cold white.

There were so many things to think about these days. She had never felt more confused by the things she felt, never been more annoyed by her inability to be happy for her family. She had never needed to get away from her home to spend time trying to figure out her jumbled feelings. When her other sister had married, she had been joyful like the rest of them. Why was this time so different?

And then the answer hit her. It was so plain, so obvious, that she almost laughed out loud at her own ridiculousness. She could not believe it had taken her so much time to figure it out. But then again, she thought with a wry smile, that was probably because it was just her.

She was jealous.

Jealous that all her sisters had found a soul mate and she had not. Jealous that those soul mates loved her sisters more than existence, more then perhaps she did herself. Jealous that she had been searching for longer than anyone in her family for one to love and to love her, and had not yet found a single likely possibility.

Okay, so maybe that wasn't entirely true.

She had found one. The most wonderful, charming, brilliant, selfless, gorgeous, amazing guy that could have ever walked Earth, but that was a moot point; as he had so un-clichéd-ly put it two years ago, he loved her, but "loved her as a sister". Besides, he was already taken. And she didn't have a chance of competing with his wife, she knew that. They were closer than two molecules fused together.

How tightly did molecules join? Was that close enough? Or was it atoms that did that? She shook her head, letting the subject go. She had never paid much attention in biology. It was a waste of time, in her opinion, especially what with all the new discoveries being made every day. Who wanted to cram all the elements into their memory (though she could probably do so in three-fifths of a second)?

She was getting off topic. She did that a lot when she was thinking, she realized. But then again, no other subject had been as pressing as to bring her attention back.

Jealousy. What could she do about it? Go around, day after day, wearing her plastic smile outside but burning with envy inside? No, she was already doing that. Besides, what good would that do? She would never get anywhere . . .

There was another option she could try. It seemed like a good one to her. After all, how hard could it be to keep hoping?

She had never been optimistic. She tried, she really did. But trying to gain optimism was like trying to remember a strange dream to her; always out of reach, but just so.

She would still try. For her sisters. For her other, extended family. For herself. After all, no one wanted a sad, moping girl around the house.

"Tanya!"

Her head jerked up at her sister's quiet, sweet voice calling her name.

"Oh, Tanya, there you are!" her sister sang, racing to where she sat in the Alaskan snow. Joy had transformed her serious, kind sister into a ball of energy.

"Hey Katie," she answered quietly. "Did you need something?"

"No," was the cheerful reply. "But don't you want to come home? Carmen and I are preparing for our bachelorette party!"

She smiled at her sister's cheerfulness. "Alright. I'll be right there."

She stood up in one graceful movement and hurried to catch up with her sister, who was already dashing across the snow-covered field.

Yes, she would definitely go for the optimism. No doubt she would find someone one day, someone to love with her entire being. And when that day finally came, she would be welcoming it with a kiss and open arms.

Literally.

Surprise! Tell the truth, did you guess it was Tanya?

There's just so many stories about how horrible Tanya is just because she loves Edward too. She's really not a mean character! I mean, Lauren is an idiot, but Tanya . . .

Hopefully, I showed some of what Tanya might have been thinking after the end of the book.

I'll update my other story! Promise!

-Scribbles