legs crossed.
She crosses her legs, twists her arms, intertwines her fingers, bites her lips, closes her eyes.
He looks at her and sees beauty all tangled up in fear and disgust. He sees legs crossed (to keep her from running), arms twisted (to keep her from crawling), fingers intertwined (to keep them from slipping over her mouth), lips bitten (to keep her from screaming), eyes closed (to keep her from seeing a monster). He sees beauty tangled up to hide from the beast.
Since her eyes remain shut, she thinks she is safe.
He leaves, unable to think of doing such things to her. Unable to think of disgusting her so much that she has convoluted herself so terribly, just to keep herself from running. Always so polite, she couldn't possibly tell him that he scares her.
Kyou thinks of himself as a monster.
He runs into Yuki, who stares at him with those cold (but human) eyes. Kyou kindly asks him what the hell he is doing in Kyou's way, and Yuki only shakes his head.
He doesn't know what that means.
He's laying on the cold floor, because at least the floor can't reject him so cruelly, when somehow his mouth opens and he spills himself out to Shigure, who nods his head and says:
"Maybe you should ask her about it."
Kyou wants to snap that this is an awful idea, that if that would have helped he already would have done it. For some reason he doesn't.
He leaves in silence, empty-hearted, feet padding heavily on the wood.
She is still there, legs crossed, arms twisted, fingers intertwined, lips bitten, eyes closed.
His jaw slides open and he finds himself asking her if he really scares her so badly.
Tohru, beautiful Tohru, nods slowly, opens pure eyes filled with emotions he finds himself unable to even place. Darkness gathers over the room like dust.
"I'm scared, and I don't understand, Kyou-kun."
"What's there to understand?" he demands roughly, eyes blurring (but damn him if he'll cry).
He doesn't understand either.
She closes her eyes again and uncrosses her legs slowly, very slowly.
"I have to cross my legs, to stop myself from running to you."
She untwists her arms carefully.
"I have to twist my arms, to stop myself from hugging you."
She untwines her fingers, one by one.
"I have to twine my fingers, to stop myself from grabbing your hand."
She looses her lips, and they look red and swollen.
"I have to bite my lips, to stop myself from kissing you."
She opens her eyes, which are filled with almost as many tears as his own.
"I have to close my eyes, because if I see you it'll all fall apart and I'll have to run to you, hug you, grab your hand, and kiss you."
Kyou nods, understanding finally.
"You can run to me any time."
Blue eyes water and change. Lips meet lips, and a sigh escapes his lips as he finally, finally lets go that breath he's been holding since the moment he saw her.