Love. What a strange and funny little word. A word Abby has heard many, many times. It was often misused, though. Not that she would ever know. She had never known the real love, or if there was, in fact something that could be defined as 'real love.' She could almost imagine it…someone staying up all night just to talk to her, watching terrible movies just to laugh at them, someone who was willing to do anything for her, someone to just—-protect her. Never having any of that, of course she was terrified of loving Connor Temple because…he was willing to do all of that.
It was a simple rainy day, nothing new there. It'd been raining all week, leaving Connor and Abby stuck inside the flat. He lied on the couch in a vest and boxers, staring at the television screen like he'd been doing for three hours straight, she was sitting on the floor, paying close attention to Rex who was perching on pieces of furniture he found necessary.
A normal day when they were off from work and it wasn't supposed to be any different either, a nice, boring peaceful day…and maybe, when the two flatmates decided they actually had to talk and look at each other, they'd have a cup of tea…but that was supposed to be it. Their days without work were boring, they were supposed to be.
But this day was far from boring.
There was something on Abby's mind, something that had been repeating in her head millions of times over the course of a few weeks. Something she never thought she would think, actually it was a bunch of somethings. A bunch of somethings about a certain someone. Someone who lived with her, someone who was less than a foot away from her, someone…she might have accidentally fallen in love with…
Connor Temple. Connor Gregory Temple, the nerd, the loser, the dork, the idiot…her best friend.
Finally standing up, she stretched and looked over at him, she held her gaze longer than necessary, observing him, taking the whole sight in. Abby wished she could say it wasn't that amazing of a sight, but for some reason, it made her heart jump.
'That's stupid, you've lived with him for a year, you've literally seen him walk around in a towel. No big deal.' She tried to force herself to think, but it was as if then she didn't care about him, he was just—-that man living with her, now he was…the man that lived with her that she happened to fancy. Maybe more than fancy. Abby didn't even know.
Connor finally noticed her stare and looked towards her. "Wanna watch the telly? I think Star Trek is nearly over, we can watch whatever you want to…except romance junk, yeah? I think I might barf if I watch one more." A teasing smile was on his face, seeing her flustered face.
"Yeah well, you said you hadn't seen The Notebook and that's literally one of the best movies ever!"
"That's not a love story," He coughed, scrunching up his nose. "The love between Ten and Rose is a love story, the love between Amy and Rory is a love story, the love between T'Pol and Trip is a love story and my god that one killed me,"
"Whatever, some people don't live up in outer space." She rolled her eyes, then tried to squeeze herself on the couch with him, though he was still practically sprawled out on it. "And anyway, I'll only put on a romance if I see one on, if not, I'm planning on going for a stupid movie. We can make fun of it or see if we fall in love with it,"
"Hmm, fine." Connor shot a grin towards her. She was so close to him that she was practically sitting on his legs, he could feel her breathing and he liked this.
Sometimes she went through moods where she just wanted to be close to somebody, they never lasted long, but when they did happen, he could hardly control himself. He remembered the first time it happened, when she came home with a frown on her face and she grabbed a wine and the next thing she did was lie her head on his shoulder. Ever since then, every few months, she'd do that, sometimes they'd just lie together for hours in silence, neither of them had to talk. Connor assumed that's what friends were for, he never thought of it as anything more, any other time, Abby definitely did not seem like she wanted him as her boyfriend. Who would, anyway?
"Abs," He cleared his throat, looking straight at her, when he saw her look back, he almost lost all confidence in what he was about to say.
"Yes?" She questioned, raising an eyebrow at the sudden silence that had fallen.
He was going to say that he liked this, that he really liked her, but thinking about it all, it didn't really sound good anymore. "Er…you're kind of—-uh…in an uncomfortable place, you can lie down if you'd like," He tried to cover up, hoping she'd believe it. She seemed to, as she adjusted herself, her head resting on one of his shoulders as she flicked through channels aimlessly.
This was comfortable, this was normal, Abby liked this…she liked being this close to Connor, she liked feeling his arms on her and feeling his breath and his heartbeat, she liked being with him more than anything and there was a niggling thought in the back of her head that she shouldn't feel this way about him.
It was sometime during the movie, somewhere in the middle, when Abby began speaking, surprising even herself at the words she was saying.
"Connor…" She whispered. "I'm scared. I'm scared of how I feel about you. I'm scared that you've taken my heart and I won't be able to get it back. I'm scared that one day, you'll leave me…because they all do…but you're the best friend I've ever had, you're the perfect man…and I—-I think I might love you."
It was silent and for a moment, she thought as if he might have died at the sound of the words, but when she looked over at him, she saw him sleeping peacefully, not reacting to the words one bit. Her hand ran over his face gently, wondering if he had subconsciously heard the confession, she hoped so. It was hard enough to make the first one.
Loving Connor Temple was annoying and it was hard and it was terrifying…but somehow, if she got times with him like this, maybe…just maybe it was worth it.