Disclaimer: I don't own the characters, I don't own the song CBS and Leona Lewis do but I do like borrowing them.
A/N: Set nine months after the season finale, possible follow up to 'Say What You Need to Say' (.net/s/5065156/1/Say_What_You_Need_To_Say)
I am thinking of doing series of one-shots dedicated to how the entire teams comes to terms with the season finale, If you've read this and "Say What You Need to Say" and think it would be a good idea let me know.
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(Ooooh)
It's been the longest winter without you
I didn't know where to turn to
See somehow I can't forget you
After all that we've been through
Kneeling in front of the gravestone his fingers traced lightly over her name and the words following carved into the cold stone, 'Jessica Angell – Daughter, Sister, Friend and Dedicated Member of the NYPD. Loved by many, taken to soon. In our memory forever.' Closing his eyes Don Flack inhaled a deep breath; he could still envisage the perfect picture of her in his mind, see her smiling at him clad in one of his work shirts, telling him that it was okay.
Going coming
Thought I heard a knock
Who's there no one
Thinking that I deserve it
Now I realize that I really didn't know
If you didn't notice you mean everything
Quickly I'm learning to love again
All that I know is I'mma be ok
Thought I couldn't live without you
It's gonna hurt when it heals too
It'll all get better in time
Even though I really love you
I'm gonna smile cause I deserve to
It'll all get better in time
Hand still brushing over her name he opened his eyes exhaling his held breath and gave a weak smile. In no way had he completely come to terms with losing her, he was unsure he would ever be able to truly accept her death but he'd learnt to smile once again. It had happened one day while he stood in Danny and Lindsay's office at the crime lab waiting on Danny to return from the locker room to go chase down a lead.
I couldn't turn on the TV
Without something there to remind me
Was it all that easy
To just put aside your feelings
If I'm dreaming don't wanna laugh
Hurt my feelings but that's the path
I'll believe in
And I know time will heal it
If you didn't notice boy you mean everything
Quickly I'm learning to love again
All I know is I'mma be ok
Thought I couldn't live without you
It's gonna hurt when it heals too
It'll all get better in time
Even though I really love you
I'm gonna smile cause I deserve to
It'll all get better in time
* Flashback *
Don Flack stood in the office patting his palms against the pockets of his dress pants. Lindsay was doing paperwork at her desk, a flu-ridden Lucy asleep in her bassinet atop Danny's desk. Lindsay let out a loud sigh and shot a quick glace at her daughter before focusing her eyes on Don. She hesitated but then let out a slight cough and pushing her body into an upright position.
"Don, could you keep an eye on her for a minute? I need to run down to Trace and check something with Adam. I'll be back as quick as I can. I just…"
He cut her off, his face bar of any emotion.
"Sure, No problem Linds."
As Lindsay disappeared from sight, curiosity overtook his body and without any conscious decision he found himself stepping towards the young child. As he approached Lucy he watched her eyes and stare at him slightly confused. He was certain it was because she was used to waking up to find Lindsay or Danny staring back at her, and was scared she would begin to cry. Racking his brain for how to sooth a confused and sick baby he was surprised when Lucy didn't emit any sound instead he watched her mouth curve into a small circle and she began to blow raspberries at him. Before he even realized it was happening his lips have curved into a full smile and he reached out and tickled the young girls stomach cooing 'who's a cheeky girl, you are, yes you are'.
He was so immersed in watching the young girl he was unaware of both her mother and father re-entering the room. He felt a hand grip his shoulder and looked up to see Danny – wide grin across his face and Lindsay standing by his side. Lindsay bent down and pulled the infant into her arms, smiling and whispering thanks and she walked over to her desk and sat down, daughter cuddled tightly to her chest. Danny released his grip o his friends shoulder and nodded towards the door. As the two headed out to the parking garage Danny let out a chuckle and patted his friends back.
"It's good to see you smile again man."
And only then did Don realize that his lips were still curved into a broad smile.
* End Flashback *
Since there's no more you and me
It's time I let you go
So I can be free
And live my life how it should be
No matter how hard it is I'll be fine without you
Yes I will
He still hadn't been on a date since her death. He still had a picture of her on his bedside table and pictures of the two of them in his locker, on his fringe and in his wallet, but he was moving on. He regularly had dinner at Danny and Lindsay's, often watched their young daughter for them, attended team drinks and even had dinner with Jess's father every now and then. He still couldn't imagine loving anyone else the way he loved her, but he no longer saw a dark future, he had the world at his feet and she would have wanted him to smile, to laugh and to be the man she'd fallen in love with.
Thought I couldn't live without you
It's gonna hurt when it heals too
It'll all get better in time
Even though I really love you
I'm gonna smile cause I deserve to (yes I do)
It'll all get better in time
Thought I couldn't live without you
It's gonna hurt when it heals too
It'll all get better in time
Even though I really love you
I'm gonna smile cause I deserve to (yes I do)
It'll all get better in time