A/N: Just something I wrote to help with my depression.
ALL THE TIMES LUCY WANTED TO DIE
She was the funny one. The one nobody expected to be sad. The flamboyant lion. The graceful fairy. And all things in between. She had no clear personality, no particular goal, and yet she was driven as hell to become whatever she was supposed to be. But when she realised that the whole world was her puzzle, with pieces to be placed however she wanted them to, the mere thought overwhelmed her. It overpowered her. The world was immense. And too heavy for her tiny shoulders. She kept this to herself of course. Nobody could ever understand the grip that life had on her. The smothering feeling of complete despair. She couldn't sleep at night. She could hardly breathe.
As a child she was happy. Excited even, when she thought of the future. It seemed perfect. Everything WAS perfect. Then. But as the world grew colder she realised what she was. Lost. In a world full of dreams that could never exist. Although she wasn't sure how she felt about that. She wasn't even sure she wanted all of those dreams.
One day she came to a conclusion. If the sun didn't shine, neither would she. If her thoughts were too cloudy, she wouldn't get out of bed. It worked. Until her bedroom wall became her enemy. Her never-ending source of depressing thoughts. And when she couldn't stare at it anymore she got up and climbed out of the window. She held onto the tiles of the roof and stared down. Then she let go. And crashed into the ground.
At St. Mungo's she told her family she had fallen. Her shoulder had taken most of the fall. She dislocated it, got a mild concussion and a sprained ankle. Otherwise she turned out fine. Physically at least. But in her mind she had just found her solution. Self-harm. It was perfect. It became her addiction. Her way of coping. She would purposely hurt herself when cutting vegetables, helping out at the barn or the Hogwarts library. Lucy the klutz is what they called her. She became awfully helpful though. More than was normal for the mischievous Weasley girl.