Secrets
I knew Edward and was sure I knew almost every single thing about him. He had told me everything that was kept secret from everyone else. Now that I was like him, married to him, and with a child, it just made the guilt worse. As we stood there in front of the Volturi, waiting and hoping that they would not attack, I thought of only one thing that would ensure us a victory against them. I didn't know how to fight or even if I still had this power now that I was a vampire, but if I did I was sure that it would guarantee our win. But if it didn't I could still try my shield. I was already extending it out, covering my family and friends, trying to keep them safe. If my plan didn't work this would have to do. I knew no matter what that Renesmee was going to be safe. Jake would take her away while the rest of us fought off the Volturi. She would grow up with him and be safe, if only for a wile. I forced myself not to think about the possibilities. If I was going to do any good as a fighter I had to be able to take control of my long forgotten power. It had always been there, and I had only grasped it two or three times before. Only when I truly felt alone. But not since I met Edward. He had practically banished those memories from my mind. I had totally forgotten about my ability until yesterday, when we had begun to wait for the Volturi to come. I just had to focus. It didn't take much the first few times I had tried it. I just prayed that it would work now.
I began to focus my energy, ignoring the communication between Aro and and the other Volturi, still keeping tabs on my shield. I was searching deep within myself, like running through a maze to find the prize at the end. I searched through emotions, memories and thoughts I had had when I had last changed. The last time I had transformed. The memories were clouded, but my other form had just as good of vision as I did now. It was easier to pinpoint the clear memories from the faded ones. I remembered embracing the feeling and making the change, out in the dessert behind my house in Phoenix. Out where no one would see. It couldn't be triggered by anger, like the Jake's similar transformation. The presence of that other being within me had to be felt, recognized, and released from it's cage. It had been more than willing to overcome me before, but would that part of me still be there, and if so, would it recognize me as it's other half.
Then I found it. That part of me I had kept hidden from the world for so long. That part of me that seemed to be gnawing it's way out of it's mental cage. I felt a rush pulse through me and my eyes shot open. Edward noticed and turned to me with questioning eyes. I had only been away from reality for a minute or so. My mind was still lingering with my inner self ready to let it loose at my command. I looked back at Edward and smiled, knowing that I would reveal my only secret soon enough. I could hear our friends and allies behind us, saying goodbyes and I love yous. I touched my hand to Edward's face and we stared deep into each others eyes. He seemed to be searching mine for my sudden reaction to something he could not see.
"Edward," I said quietly so only he could hear, "you have always been there for me and told me secrets that have changed both of our lives. I only hope the secret I am about to share will not split us apart." He puzzled for a moment taking my face in his hands.
"Nothing you say will ever make me stop loving you. Nothing" I thought for a moment then took a deep breath.
"Edward, I never... really was..." I paused, trying to read his face. I could tell he was anxious to hear the rest of what I was trying to say. He nodded for me to continue. "I never really was... human. I have a secret much like yours and Jacob's" I watched as his face went blank and questioning. He was trying to think of what else I was. I hoped he wasn't repulsed by me. He looked down at Renesmee in my arms. "It's not genetic. It's just very random. My bad luck I guess." I smiled at that, but his face never changed. It was hurting me to see him like this, like he was looking at some kind of monster even more terrible than what he saw in himself. He seemed to sense my unease and finally spoke.
"What do you mean exactly? If you were never really human, than what were you? Why are you telling me this now?"
"I can't really explain. All I know is that even though I am a vampire, it's still there. I can still become that thing. I could help win this battle. We might not have to die." Slight recognition came over him, but he only questioned more and more to himself. I knew he would never understand unless I showed him what I meant. I turned and put Renesmee on Jake's back. I handed her the bag I prepared for her and kissed her on the head.
"Don't be afraid." I said to her. I turned to Jake. "When the fight starts get her out of here. Everything you need is in the bag." I sighed then turned back to Edward. "You might not want to stand back." He stepped back and watched intently. This brought the eyes of others to the scene I was about to make. They could sense that something was off, but it had to be done.
I reached within myself and flung open the doors to the cage, releasing the creature within. My eyes glowed slightly and I could feel the hard, circular scales crawl up from my fingers and toes. I could feel them overlap and mesh together over my clothes. Thank goodness I didn't have to strip down like Jake did when he changed. I closed my eyes and felt the scales encase them in a protective layer. Once I was totally encased in scales that made me look like a purple lizard, I let the rest shoot through me like electric sparks. My neck elongated and stretched and my nose and mouth grew out from my face. Horns jumped out of the back of me head and peaked sharply at the ends. I fell onto my hands and rose above the ground quickly as my arms and legs shot up almost six feet each. My fingers and toes merged into three long claws and talons sprouted from the ends. Then the other things shot out of me. I could feel my thin, graceful tail shoot out and curl up. My shoulder's stretched apart and my giant wings launched out of my back, folded, and stiff. I knew when I was done and opened my eyes. My second soul was free once more and I was engulfed with it's joy. I was facing the Volturi army now and felt a wide smile stretch across my snout. I stood strait on all fours and rose my head like a snake about to strike. Then I spread my wings and let out a roar that shook the entire forest. All of the faces I saw were completely dumbstruck, even Marcus's face was full of nothing but shock. They had never seen anything like me before.
I turned to look down at Edward. He was staring, mouth gaping up at me. As was Carlisle, Jake and everyone else in the clearing. At the closest I was 20 or so feet tall and maybe 35-40 feet long. I was most happy that I had wings to stretch once more. Though it was only the last time I mad the change that I ever tried to fly, I remembered clearly how exhilarating it was. I had to practically bolt my feet to the ground to keep myself from shooting into the sky with excitement. I had no idea how much I had missed this. My excitement died down a bit and I took a moment to check my shield. It was still there and it seemed stronger now. I didn't even have to think about it. I could feel Jane trying to get to me but having no luck. She tried to attack everyone else but to no avail. Edward noticed and looked back at me questioningly. I wasn't sure if I could speak, but I winked at him and grinned.
His face immediately lit up with something of pride. I turned to look at Jake who was still staring, jaw gaping. I leaned my head down to him and he froze. I looked at Renesmee who was wearing a huge ear to ear grin. She reached for me and I let her touch me. She was showing me my own transformation and seemed to ask if it really was me. I smiled.
"Yes, it's me." I was almost as stunned as the others when I heard my voice come from this beastly mouth. I still had that bell like vampire voice and could speak clearly. Renesmee smiled and climbed onto my face, sitting herself between my horns and giggling. I lifted her up and stood tall, apparently succeeding in intimidating the Volturi. Aro stepped forward and looked me up and down, analyzing me like a museum piece.
"This is quite a change in events." He said as he stepped closer. I stepped one foot forward and lowered my head growling. He immediately stopped and a flicker of emotion passed in his eyes. He was definitely not as confident as he was trying to look. I smirked and stepped back, signaling for him to continue.
"And none of you knew about this?" He questioned, looking first at Edward then Carlisle. I answered for them.
"No. My secret is kept simply because I didn't want anyone to know. Unlike you and your world. I have no rules. Nothing binds me to keep my secret except my own will. I simply did not want to be seen in a way that would make me frightening." I felt Renesmee figit on my head and lowered her down to Edward. He quickly took her and held her in his protective arms. I held my head high and continued. "Over the past few years though I discovered I wasn't the only monster out there. I just never felt the need to reveal this secret. I could have kept it hidden for all of eternity if it was my will." I let my tail twitch and weave around in waves and circles. It was strangely calming. Aro pondered over my statement, still shocked that I could speak so clearly.
"Do you know if your gift is still active?" He asked. I could tell he was trying to be careful of his words. I just smirked.
"It is. Stronger actually. I don't even have to think to keep Jane from getting to me, or my family." I glanced over at her and saw the fury rise in her. I set my eyes back on Aro, feeling quite smug. "So have you made your decision? What do you believe will be the fate of my daughter?" His eyes turned away and he thought for a moment.
"I believe, my brothers and I should counsel once more. This new development must be accounted for." He flitted back to Caius and Marcus who were still staring questioningly at me. They gathered and formed that small circle once more. I turned to Edward who couldn't seem to take the smile off his face.
"What?" I asked quietly, leaning my head down to his eye level. He chuckled.
"You have no idea how relieved I am right now. The entire Volturi guard is scared stiff of you. They won't attack even if they are ordered to. The only one I am worried about is Jane and she is nothing without her powers. Alec and Demetri might fight, but they are very nervous about it. No one else is even considering getting into a fray with you. We will win." I smiled and then looked down at Renesmee. She reached for me and I let her show me the fear in Aro's eyes. Edward and I laughed. Knowing that even she caught that flicker of fear was just too perfect. Jake walked over to look at me. Shock still covering his face. He turned to Edward and seemed to tell him something. Edward nodded.
"He wants to know if it's still you." I was almost hurt at Jacob's words.
"Yes, Jake it really is me. Bella." I stared into his eyes and saw something sad in them. Edward knew what he was thinking, but wasn't saying anything. This wasn't the time or the place.
As if to confirm my thoughts I noticed movement on the other side of the clearing. I looked up in time to see Jane, fuming with anger, shoot at me with vampire speed. I couldn't react fast enough before she jumped and aimed at my neck. She raised her hand like a claw and it came crashing down against my neck. I braced myself, but felt nothing. I looked down and saw a one armed Jane glancing from me to her disembodied, shattered arm, sitting a few feet away. I didn't even have a scratch. I was overflowing with confidence now. Even vampire strength had no effect on my hard scaly skin. I smiled widely letting my razor sharp, pointed teeth gleam. Fear was embedded on her face as I growled happily. She turned her attention to Renesmee and my joy was immediately replaced with protective, fury. Before she even made a move I quickly shot my head down and grabbed her with my teeth. I had her by the shoulder and shook her violently as pieces of her fell to the ground. I tossed her torso over to the other side of the clearing where it landed with a thud on the still burning fire. I watched as she burned and flicked her arms and a leg over to the fire with my tail.
A giggle shook me from my trance and I turned to see Renesmee's smiling face looking up at me. Edward and Jake were just staring eyebrows raised. Edward smiled then and looked across the field. I did the same and saw Aro approaching us. I stood strait and narrowed my eyes. What he was about to say would either set us free or start a fight. They wouldn't go for me. They would attack everyone else. I couldn't protect them all. If it was going to be a fight, there was a very good chance that someone wasn't going to get out of this.