"Ever wondered what happened after everyone died? Well, find it here! Things go random, from Finézetta's wedding, Otto and Sieg playing poker or even Bianca learning how to whistle. [CRACK FIC]"

A/N and Disclaimer: I do not own the show or Finézetta would be so cannon that they would win the title of best anime couple ever :p W-whatever… I just wrote this nonsense because I'm bored and in an author block with my other ongoing stories.

[-x-x-x-]

Sieg sat down on the comfortable couch while shoving a pocky in his mouth. He just heard from Eliot earlier that Finé and Izetta were on their way to hell as well. To be honest, he was kind of bored since nothing ever happened in hell and the former advisor wanted some actions. Even Otto became very calm lately.

"Sir Sieg!" A young boy with blond hair entered the office while removing his helmet and saluted. "I am here to report! It looks like Archduchess Finé and Lady Izetta drank bleach and will be here in less than one hour. Also, Lady Bianca and their maid shoot bullets in each other's head as to accompany them."

"I see… Thank you!"

The young boy – whose name was forgotten by the author – grabbed his desert eagle from his holster and shot the black haired man right in the head. "Payback!" He then turned on his heels and walked out, leaving Sieg with a huge hole in his skull.

Meanwhile, at the other side of the cold region of hell, Sophie was busy shoving chips in one of the royal guard's mouth. "So, that bitch is on their way here!" She chuckled and stood from the queen-sized bed she was sitting in. "It's payback time, dear Izetta! I will never forget what you did to me."

A woman with long blonde hair then walked inside the room, a bouquet of white lily in the hands. She just chuckled at the silver-haired witch's antic. "It's nice to see you energetic as always, Sophie."

The witch turned to the former Duchess of Eilstadt and gave her an icy cold glare that could freeze hell over. "Shut up, bitch! I hate you more than anyone! How could I forgive the woman who ordered my execution? Bah, at least that idiot king – whose name was forgotten by the author – isn't here."

"Well… He ended up in the darkness part and people from there can't travel regions, so…"

"Nice for him!" Sophie stood up and walked toward the window and contemplated the endless falling snow outside while the Duchess walked beside her. "I've killed so many people in the name of that bastard. I hate him so much. I was relieved to hear that he received what he deserved."

The other woman just chuckled. "The way you talk about him… I presume you don't love him anymore." There was no response as the silver-haired woman just pushed the window open. "Could it be possible that you fell for that red-haired witch?"

Sophie turned to the arrogant woman and gave her another glare, but this time, some shades of pink appeared on her pale cheeks. "W-what are you talking about? There is no way I would fall for that arrogant girl."

"You're stuttering." The former queen commented teasingly and turned to the window. She then let out of a sigh. "How unlucky are you actually? Always falling for someone who already have someone else…"

Pissed out, the shorter woman took her boomstick and flew out of the building. "Shut up, woman! I don't need your concern!" Despite saying that, Sophia's face was red thinking about the young witch. "That idiot! Me… in love with Izetta? Nonsense!" An image of Izetta smiling flashed in her mind, almost causing her to fall from her stick if it wasn't for her reflex. "Damn!"

Back in the hot district, Sieg was rubbing his forehead where a huge hole was; on his desk a 8mm bullet. "Good grief!" He then stood up from the couch and poured some wine in a glass and drank it. That was when someone pushed the door open. He lifted his eyes and smiled at the newcomers. "Good to see you again, Archduchess, Lady Izetta!"

The two women in question waved back. "That was a while, Sieg." The blonde princess was holding hand with the young witch – that was something that the former advisor focused on. "How was thing doing here? Peace was back in earth, but that didn't stop the resistance force from putting bleach in our tea."

"It's calm, I guess…" He just waved a hand and the phone rang. The advisor quickly replied. "Hello!" He nodded several time before hanging out and bowed at the two women. "I am sorry to leave you, but I have to attend an important meeting, so if you'll excuse me." And with that, Sieg dashed out of the room, direction the downtown district to play poker with Berkman and former emperor Otto.

Meanwhile, Izetta and Finé were left dumbfooled and just decided to sit on a nearby couch. The red-head was blushing slightly while the taller woman took her by the side, bringing them closer. "Izetta…" She started in a low and gentle voice. "I am glad we will be together forever…"

The witch just smiled before closing her eyes and finally rested her head on her beloved princess' shoulder. "I am glad too… Finé… Let us always be together!"

"You can count on me!"

Just as the two were about to fully enjoy each other's company, a brick – that was thrown from outside – got in and smashed the young blonde's head. Second later, a certain silver-haired witch riding her boomstick flew inside the room. "There we meet again, dumb child!"

"You!" Izetta threw the newcomer a death glare that could make Satan himself to flinch. "How dare you throw a dam brick at my beloved Finé's beautiful face?"

As if of that, the scar caused by the impact on the blonde's head instantly disappeared as if it was never there in the first place. Well, they were already dead, so technically, they can't die anymore and so scars are healed as soon as they appeared.

"I won't forgive you!"

The little witch readied her boomstick and was about to engage into an epic battle when the door of the room was pushed open by a very excited Eliot. "Wait!" The three occupants of the room turned to the blonde advisor. "You should not fight in this district or the angels from heaven will get here and lesson us all again."

Sophie instantly looked down at the mention of that. She remembered well the last time she attempted to pick a fight and several angels interfered in. The fight was short-lived and everyone in hell paid hard for the little fight. They got lessoned for days and other stuff. "Fine in that case!" The white witch sighed. "But I won't give up on my revenge!"

"Then, how about you play a game instead and the loser has to be the winner's slave for a whole year?" Eliot proposed.

The white witch grinned. "I like the sound of that!" She then eyed at Izetta and couldn't help her mind from seeing images of the young girl in a maid's outfit and obeying to her from waking her up to washing her body- "W-wait! No! My mind, don't think about that! I just want to make her pay for killing me a second time! It isn't as if I really want her to look at me or such… Wait! Why do I sound like a Tsundere? Stupid author!"

"Izetta…" Finé, concerned grabbed her beloved's hand. "Are you really sure? I mean, who knows what kind of atrocities she might order you to do if you lose."

"Finé…" The witch smiled at her to prove that she was not backing away from hardship. "Do not worry! I will not loose since I have a beautiful fiancée supporting me." Both of them turned tomato red after that statement. "It's so embarrassing! I just said it out loud!"

Eliot just watched in horror as the two lovebirds just awkwardly blushed while looking at each others while Sophie was hiding her red face behind her palms, muttering something. An anime drop fell on top of his head. "A-ano…"

"The heck is this?" The former advisor turned around to be face to face with Bianca and Lotte who just arrived. "Why are Lady Izetta, the Archduchess and the White witch blushing like madwomen?"

"Well… It's a long and complicated story…"

[-x-x-x-]

"And I'm out!" Sieg threw his cards on the table as a proof that his hand was better compared to the others.

"This can't be…" Otto and Berkman stood up from their chairs in chock as they watched in horror as the Eilstadt advisor grabbed all the coins on the table. "How could we loose?"

"Damn!" The German emperor cursed and grabbed in his pocket for his wallet and placed the remaining cash he had on the table. "Another round!"

"Bring it on!" Sieg just grinned and Berkman walked out, hands in his pocket since he was bankrupted by that last round.

[-x-x-x-]

"So, the rules are simple!" Bianca, who was clad in a maid's outfit and was standing in the middle of a large room explained. "You will have three challenges waiting for you and the one who complete them all becomes the winner."

The bodyguard, alongside few other female royal guards, Lotte, Finé and the two witches were in a large karaoke room. The others except for Izetta and Sophie were judges and were there to make sure that no one interferes during the confrontation.

Said judges eyed at the two participants who nodded as an approval and gave the signal to start. Izetta and Sophie stepped on the dance floor and a song started to play in the background. The two of them took a microphone and started dancing while singing "Magnet". Also, did I already mention they were wearing butterfly headphones? No? Then, I just did it.

Finé looked at the two with jealousy. "I should be the one singing a duet with Izetta…" She let go of a very long and depressing silent sigh.

However, Lotte and Bianca were kind of not really into the show and were discussing at a corner of the room. "So, this is how we do this?"

"Yes! Just place two fingers in, ready yourself and exhale hard." The petite maid instructed. – And no! There was nothing dirty with that; you bunch of pervert out there –

The bodyguard did as she was instructed and placed her thumb and ring finger in her mouth, prepared herself and breathed out. "This doesn't seem to work… Whistling is really hard…"

"Well… how about we try one more time?"

"If you say so… I guess we could…"

Back into our duo, they were already done with the last song – it was majestically awesome by the way – and were now singing Zurui yo – Magnetic today while dancing. Finé's mind was not working straight anymore. "Calm down, Finé! It's just a play! A play! Izetta belongs to you and ONLY YOU!"

In the end, they ended up draw and moved into the second challenge: video games. While the older woman won at Super Smash Brothers, Izetta totally dominated Need For Speed. They were now in the middle of a battle of Def Jam and none of them seemed to be about to give up.

"Mpff…" Sophie scoffed. "Give up now! You have no chance against me."

"No! I started it and I will go until the end. I promised to fight with all my might."

"Is that so…" The White witch grinned. "Then, I have no other choice but to demolish you!" And with that, she used her character's – 50 cent – secret move to slam Justin Bieber – who was actually Izetta's character – against a nearby wall, putting him K.O. Sophie just grinned widely. "My win!"

The red-head dramatically fell on the ground, eyes wide from shock. "T-this can't be…"

Even Finé fell on the ground. "MY Izetta… lost?"

Meanwhile, Bianca – who was still learning how to whistle – just sighed and gestured the participants to start the third and last round. If the White witch wined this one, Izetta will become her slave, but if the red-head manage to win, they will have a fourth round and so until there was a winner.

Said young woman stood up with resolution in her eyes. She was not going to loose! Not in front of her beloved princess!

So, they moved on and walked closer to a table and played ping pong. It was a burning duel and the judges' eyes were glued to the sign of the two witched facing each others with all their might. "This is really something of an higher level!" One of the royal guard commented with horror and the others just nodded.

Izetta slammed the ball as hard as she could, sending it at the other side of the table, only to get slammed back. She didn't stop there and slammed it again, only to get countered by Sophia. Already 15 minutes have passed and not a single score was marked. They eventually agreed that the first to mark will the winner of the round since making it a match of 10 points would be a pain.

After 20 more minutes, the red-head finally managed to smash the ball hard enough to the point where even the White witch couldn't see it coming. There were cheers in the public as Berkman and Sieg started whistling while Otto and Eliot were drinking wine while eating chips. The four men just arrived few minutes prior and were enjoying the confrontation as much as the judges.

"And one point for Lady Izetta!" Jonas – or whatever his name – said loud as the ball fell back on the ground. "That make it a 1 – 1. In that case, a fourth round is needed." The judges nodded.

"Wait!" Sophie turned at the guests in horror. "Since when were you here?"

"Since the Zurui yo – Magnetic today… why?" The blond replied with a tilt of the head.

And so, they moved on toward the last round. It was the hardest and toughest thing that a witch could imagine and both women watched in horror as the former Eilstadt advisor placed a can with two sticks on the table. "That's right! The last round will be a king game!"

Cold sweats appeared on Finé's forehead as she turned to her beloved witch. "Izetta… Are you really sure? This is a very dangerous game. We don't know what kind of trick she has in her sleeves."

The red-head turned to her princess and smiled. "Do not worry, Finé! There is no way I will loose! Plus…" She muttered. "It is too late to turn back."

And so the game began. The red-head was the first to get the "king" title and ordered her opponent to wash the building from top to bottom. And since Sophie had no other choice, she did it for the sake of vengeance… and maybe a little of the fact of being in love with Izetta.

"Shut up, you obsessed writer!" The White witch yelled out. "Stop adding nonsense into the narration!"

"Stop breaking the fourth wall!" The German pilot – which name was also forgotten by the author – warned.

The dare was done in 30 minutes since the witch was fired out and cleared everything really quick. The next round resolved around Sophie ordering her opponent – and crush (?) – to down a dozen of barrel of red wine. Izetta and Finé were very reluctant, but still agreed and did it and as a result, the young witch ended up drunk – see on the verge of the death if it wasn't for the fact she was already dead.

"What's wrong, little girl? You can't stand up anymore?" Sophie laughed. True enough, Izetta had a hard time trying to keep awake, her face flushed with all kind of red. "Want to give up now? If you do so, I might be a little gentle to you when you will become my servant."

"Don't listen to her, Izetta!" The Archduchess yelled back. "You've come this far! It's not the time to give up yet!"

"Duh…" Said witch was dazzlingly trying to keep her focus. "Ya rig, Fin-ét.. I sti ha eno stren-k to contin-…"

And there went another round. This time, the White witch got the right stick once again and ordered her opponent to do break dance. Izetta – much to Finé's mix of emotion – did so and without anyone noticing it, it turned into a Harlem shake as Otto, Eliot, Sieg and that blonde journalist chick joined in.

"What. The. Heck?" Bianca and Lotte sweardropped at the spectacle.

After the dare came another round and Sophie got it once again. Few of the guests were starting to have thought. "Is she cheating by any chance? But since we kind of don't have a proof, so I guess it passes."

The order was rather complex. The white witch initiate with an "I order you to kiss m-…" and stopped midway as she was about to say "me" if it wasn't for her pride who kicked in. "Idiot! What am I thinking about?"

"Kissing a M?" Lotte repeated.

Sophie, trying to keep her cool despite her now short-circuited brain pointed at Finé. Already there, Sieg didn't feel things were going right. Just as the witch was about to change her order though, Izetta ran in front of the Archduchess and brought their lips together for the first time.

*Silence*

*Silence*

*Silence*

Then, fangirl's scream could be heard all around hell as even Toujou Nozomi, Nobara, Hatsune Miku, Ikeda Chitose, Himefuju Kinana and other Yuri fans jumped through the window, took picture of the blushing couple and flew back in Earth since they were not dead yet, but just crossed the line – lol! Good pun since the opening theme of Shuumatsu no Izetta is "Cross the line" – since their Yuri sense was tilting.

The red-haired witch, now red, not only because of all the alcohol she drank earlier, but because of pure embarrassment – she was undrunken now. Meanwhile, Bianca instantly managed to whistle while the blonde journalist hid Lotte's eyes… only to be pushed at the side once again. Otto and Eliot started drooling while Sieg took his digital camera.

And Sophie? Sophie fainted.

[-x-x-x-]

Izetta was declared the winner, and much to everyone's expectation, freed Sophie. The White witch, not turning into the other witch's slave, was assigned as the honor maid for Izetta and Finé's wedding. Everything went well with Bianca playing the Priest, Sophie and Lotte being honor maids, Sieg being the cameraman and the two Germania leaders just being here for the sake of fanservice.

The exchange of vow went very well despite the fact that the author was too bored to write them all and the two women kissed each others as soon as the priestess – Bianca for these who forgot – said so. The public cheered and Kinana whipped a tear from the corner of her eye.

"Wait! What are you doing here?" Sophie pointed an accusing finger at the manga "Wife and Wife – fu~fu" protagonist.

"Just for the googles!" The brunette smiled without any care in the world. Soon enough, Ichinose Haru, Sakurauchi Riko, Inugami Yachiho and Rowan Atkinson – AKA Mr Bean for these who doesn't know – made begging puppy eyes while C.C. was just eating a pizza at the corner of the room.

And with that, the reception came and everyone ate pie from that awesome shop with delight. I wish I could have some pie as well…

"Just shut up and get over with this one-shot!" The White witch yelled.

Alright! So, the party went well and these following couples lived happy ever after:

1 – Finé/Izetta

2 – Bianca/Lotte (forced)

3 – Sophie/Elviera Fredman (y'know; that blond journalist chick! Also, very forced pairing)

4 – Sieg/Berkman (forced)

5 – Otto/Eliot (for googles, especially for Yaoi fangirls)

[-x-x-x-]

The end!

Fin!

Tapitra!

Oshimai!