Teenage Dirtbag
By: Junsui Chikyuu
September 11, 2002
Her name is Noel, I have a dream about her, She rings my bell, Got gym class in half an hour.
Draco sighed as he walked through the halls of Hogwarts, on his way to P.E. He simply could not grasp why on earth Dumbledore would introduce a muggle class that made you run around for an hour. What was the point? At least the girls had to take off their robes to run. Some of them, well, he'd be a lot more grateful if they had left them on, but others. others he wouldn't mind seeing in a lot less. Hey, teenage boys and hormones, ring a bell? Anyway, one such person, who he was surprised, delighted and horrified to find (in that order), was none other than that stupid Mudblood Granger. Surprised because she didn't seem the type to elicit those kind of thoughts in any boy, delighted because like I said teenage boys and hormones, and horrified because she was the best friend to his worst enemy. Not to mention, he'd been really nasty to her for the last 4 years; it'd be bad for his reputation to start acting weird in sixth year. It was bad enough with the dreams. And they weren't even naughty dreams, as you might think. They were just dreams about holding her and kissing her and sometimes a little more but nothing too bad. The worst was when he woke up mumbling her name and finding Crabbe and Goyle standing over him with their eyebrows raised as if they were judging him. He hated that! After then, he made sure to put a silencing charm on himself as he slept.
Oh, how she rocks, In keds and tube socks, But she doesn't know who I am And she doesn't give a damn about me.
He made it to the Quidditch pitch, changed in the locker rooms, and ran onto the field just as class was starting. "Nice of you to join us, Mr. Malfoy," said Madam Hooch. "I know, isn't it?" Her eyes narrowed at him before she turned back to the class. He smirked at her annoyance and began discreetly checking out the girls in the class until he came to Hermione. He started from the ground up, admiring her smooth, shapely legs, her stomach, the works and got to her face in enough time to see the look of disgust on her features. "Today we'll be doing sit ups. Watch carefully while I demonstrate." 'Sit ups?' Oh well, he'd just watch everyone else and see what they did. "I want each of you to get a partner and start immediately after you warm up." Everyone immediately paired off, leaving Draco with the last person without a partner. "Longbottom!" The poor boy jumped and Draco nearly laughed at the look on his face. "Hurry up and get over here!" He scrambled over to where he was and waited. and waited. and waited. "Well? What are you waiting for? Start the bloody exorcise!" He jumped to the ground and began the procedure. Draco almost laughed again. He looked like he was trying to eat himself. About half a minute later, there was a sudden 'CRACK' and then a howl of pain and Draco nearly jumped out of his skin. Neville was on the ground, of course, holding his back, crying his eyes out and begging for mercy. Madam Hooch ran over and sighed when she saw whom it was. "Neville," she said, in her most motherly, sarcastic tone she could manage as she levitated him on a stretcher and began walking towards the school, "how many times have I told you, 'You must stretch before you do exorcises'?" Hermione, from default, took over the class from here on in and so there was to be no goofing off, naturally. But, no matter how much he watched, Draco couldn't quite grasp what everyone else was doing. He gave up and sat down to watch Parvati and Lavender stretch. Suddenly, an exasperated voice came from behind him. "What do you think you're doing?" He turned to find Hermione, her arms crossed, tapping her foot, and looking straight at him. "Me? Nothing, just admiring the view," and turned his back on her. He counted from three in his head until, "Don't you dare turn your back on me, Malfoy." He looked over his shoulder. "And why not?" "Because," she said, as she calmly walked up to him, "I am now the teacher of this class. Which means I can give out detentions and take off house points if you don't get off your pompous ass and get moving." He simply stared at her. "Well, chop chop! Let's go! The world does not revolve around you!" "Well, Little Miss Mudblood, I don't know what we're doing, so how can I participate?" "First of all, haven't you grown out of that childish name calling, yet? Second, you should have been paying attention at the beginning of class." "No. And I could've but what fun would that be?" She sighed and walked a few steps back. "Now watch closely, I'm not showing you again."
Cause I'm just a teenage dirtbag, baby, Yeah, I'm just a teenage dirtbag, baby, Listen to Iron Maiden, maybe, with me, oooh.
He walked around to behind her and admired 'the view' for a second time as she warmed up. She saw him watching her, but was not pleased with the site and narrowed her eyes. "You're such a dirtbag, Malfoy! Don't you're hormones ever give it a rest?" "Yes, when I'm eating." She made a sort of exasperated growl and walked away, muttering obscenities as she went. Her hips seemed to sway with every move she made and Draco barely kept himself from grabbing her and kissing her brains out. All those years, to think that underneath that mousy exterior was a bombshell. who knew?
Her boyfriend's a dick He brings a gun to school He'd simply kick My ass if he knew the truth.
Potter knew. That annoying little goody-goody. He had obviously known for a long time and Draco hated the fact that he had been up shown by him of all people. Well, it was better than Weasley but still. And now he could almost understand why his stupid family loved muggles, if all of them looked as good as Hermione. And if Potter ever knew that Draco was crushing on his girlfriend. he'd beat him into a coma, if he were lucky. He wouldn't even think twice about shooting him with an unforgivable curse. And he'd probably get away with it too, being everybody's little hero and all.
He lives on my block And he drives an IROK But he doesn't know who I am And he doesn't give a damn about me.
Stupid Potter. He always got everything. He got special treatment ever since he came to Hogwarts and he'd bet he got it even better at home. Getting those special brooms from Dumbledore and McGonagall and God-knows who else. And now he got the girl as well. Not that Draco was officially after her or anything because that just wouldn't be the smartest thing to do, being a Slytherin and all. He doubted that if it weren't for him being horrible to them they wouldn't know who he was at all.
Cause I'm just a teenage dirtbag, baby Yeah, I'm just a teenage dirtbag, baby Listen to Iron Maiden, maybe with me, oooh. Oh yeah, dirtbag, no she doesn't know what she's missing Oh yeah, dirtbag, no she doesn't know what she's missing.
But if he thought he even remotely had a chance with her he'd go for it. 'Like she said though, I'm just a dirtbag. I'm sure she doesn't go for guys like that.' If she did though. He couldn't even begin to imagine the type of time he'd show her. He'd be there, not all mushy and that sort of stuff, but he'd be there for a good time and even a little bit of emotional support. He'd even forgiven her for that little stunt back in third year when she slapped him. He'd make her happy at least; he could promise that. 'She definitely has no clue what she's missing out on.'
Man I feel like mold It's prom night and I am lonely Lo and behold She's walkin' over to me
Draco hated dances. Why should this year be any different? People dancing, acting like bloody five-year-olds. and him feeling utterly out of place. No date because he hadn't even planned on going at first and then Dumbledore went and made the damned thing mandatory at the last minute. So, he got to see the girls all dressed up with their guys laughing, having a good time. He was entertained a little bit when he saw Professor McGonagall slap Weasley. Apparently, someone had spiked the pumpkin juice and he had drunk a little too much and was groping everything in the room that was even remotely female. Other than that there wasn't much else. And then he saw it out of the corner of his eye. damn! Just that Patil twin. How could he have mistaken her for. 'I'm losing it.'
This must be fake My lip starts to shake How does she know who I am? Why does she give a damn about me?
But as he turned the opposite way, he saw her. Hermione, wearing a dark magenta gown and hair done up with some sort of tropical red flower, was talking with Harry. He looked a little upset but then she kissed his cheek and his expression relaxed a little. She whispered something into his ear and, smiling, he hugged her tightly before walking away with a little red haired something dangling off his arm. The Weasley girl was hanging on him like the plague and he was smiling! It made Draco want to gag, before he realized that Hermione was alone, looking beautiful as ever, not more than ten feet away. And walking towards him.
I've got two tickets to Iron Maiden, baby. Come with me Friday, don't say maybe. I'm just a teenage dirtbag, baby...like you. Ooh.
"Hey," was the first thing Hermione said. She stood a good foot or two away from him with her arms crossed across her chest. "Hey. what was that all about?" he asked, just out of curiosity. He was mildly surprised when she answered him. "Nothing much really. Just that Harry found some one he liked as more than a friend more than me and I realized I didn't like him as much as I thought I did." "You don't?" "Well, at least not in that way." "Oh." They stood silent for a few moments, looking at their surroundings for a hint of what to say. "So," she started again, "wanna dance?" He looked at her for a moment and saw she was totally serious. A small smile crept onto his face. "You wanna dance with me?" She rolled her eyes impatiently. "Fine, if you don't want to I'll just go ask Seamus." But as she turned he grabbed her by the elbow and yanked her back to himself. She collided with his chest and looked up at his face, a smirk playing on her lips. "I'd love to dance with you." She leaned up and gave him a quick but gentle kiss. "I'd love to dance with you too." Draco couldn't help but laugh. "Of course! Wouldn't every girl?" She punched his arm and he took her hand and led her to the dance floor.
Ooh yeah...dirtbag. No she doesn't know what she's missin' Ooh yeah...dirtbag. No she doesn't know what she's missin'
AN: Hello, my fellow Harry Potter obsessors! My first HP fic! ::claps for herself:: Yes! I'm so happy! I know it has like, no plot and the Gym scene made no sense and had nothing to do with anything, but tell me how I did ok? I'd like to know if I'm giving any justice at all to the great and wonderful JK Rowling. The song is "Teenage Dirtbag" by Wheatus and I love it. ^-^ By the way, to all you out there who helped New York, this is my little way of saying Thank You. We appreciated it very much. We love you all! Bless the United States of America! PS - if you don't like Draco x Hermione, which I don't know why you're reading this if you don't, but if you would like me to write any other couple or plot for you, just write it in your review or send me an email (with the subject stated, thanks). Kk? Kk. Ja ne! And thanks!
Her name is Noel, I have a dream about her, She rings my bell, Got gym class in half an hour.
Draco sighed as he walked through the halls of Hogwarts, on his way to P.E. He simply could not grasp why on earth Dumbledore would introduce a muggle class that made you run around for an hour. What was the point? At least the girls had to take off their robes to run. Some of them, well, he'd be a lot more grateful if they had left them on, but others. others he wouldn't mind seeing in a lot less. Hey, teenage boys and hormones, ring a bell? Anyway, one such person, who he was surprised, delighted and horrified to find (in that order), was none other than that stupid Mudblood Granger. Surprised because she didn't seem the type to elicit those kind of thoughts in any boy, delighted because like I said teenage boys and hormones, and horrified because she was the best friend to his worst enemy. Not to mention, he'd been really nasty to her for the last 4 years; it'd be bad for his reputation to start acting weird in sixth year. It was bad enough with the dreams. And they weren't even naughty dreams, as you might think. They were just dreams about holding her and kissing her and sometimes a little more but nothing too bad. The worst was when he woke up mumbling her name and finding Crabbe and Goyle standing over him with their eyebrows raised as if they were judging him. He hated that! After then, he made sure to put a silencing charm on himself as he slept.
Oh, how she rocks, In keds and tube socks, But she doesn't know who I am And she doesn't give a damn about me.
He made it to the Quidditch pitch, changed in the locker rooms, and ran onto the field just as class was starting. "Nice of you to join us, Mr. Malfoy," said Madam Hooch. "I know, isn't it?" Her eyes narrowed at him before she turned back to the class. He smirked at her annoyance and began discreetly checking out the girls in the class until he came to Hermione. He started from the ground up, admiring her smooth, shapely legs, her stomach, the works and got to her face in enough time to see the look of disgust on her features. "Today we'll be doing sit ups. Watch carefully while I demonstrate." 'Sit ups?' Oh well, he'd just watch everyone else and see what they did. "I want each of you to get a partner and start immediately after you warm up." Everyone immediately paired off, leaving Draco with the last person without a partner. "Longbottom!" The poor boy jumped and Draco nearly laughed at the look on his face. "Hurry up and get over here!" He scrambled over to where he was and waited. and waited. and waited. "Well? What are you waiting for? Start the bloody exorcise!" He jumped to the ground and began the procedure. Draco almost laughed again. He looked like he was trying to eat himself. About half a minute later, there was a sudden 'CRACK' and then a howl of pain and Draco nearly jumped out of his skin. Neville was on the ground, of course, holding his back, crying his eyes out and begging for mercy. Madam Hooch ran over and sighed when she saw whom it was. "Neville," she said, in her most motherly, sarcastic tone she could manage as she levitated him on a stretcher and began walking towards the school, "how many times have I told you, 'You must stretch before you do exorcises'?" Hermione, from default, took over the class from here on in and so there was to be no goofing off, naturally. But, no matter how much he watched, Draco couldn't quite grasp what everyone else was doing. He gave up and sat down to watch Parvati and Lavender stretch. Suddenly, an exasperated voice came from behind him. "What do you think you're doing?" He turned to find Hermione, her arms crossed, tapping her foot, and looking straight at him. "Me? Nothing, just admiring the view," and turned his back on her. He counted from three in his head until, "Don't you dare turn your back on me, Malfoy." He looked over his shoulder. "And why not?" "Because," she said, as she calmly walked up to him, "I am now the teacher of this class. Which means I can give out detentions and take off house points if you don't get off your pompous ass and get moving." He simply stared at her. "Well, chop chop! Let's go! The world does not revolve around you!" "Well, Little Miss Mudblood, I don't know what we're doing, so how can I participate?" "First of all, haven't you grown out of that childish name calling, yet? Second, you should have been paying attention at the beginning of class." "No. And I could've but what fun would that be?" She sighed and walked a few steps back. "Now watch closely, I'm not showing you again."
Cause I'm just a teenage dirtbag, baby, Yeah, I'm just a teenage dirtbag, baby, Listen to Iron Maiden, maybe, with me, oooh.
He walked around to behind her and admired 'the view' for a second time as she warmed up. She saw him watching her, but was not pleased with the site and narrowed her eyes. "You're such a dirtbag, Malfoy! Don't you're hormones ever give it a rest?" "Yes, when I'm eating." She made a sort of exasperated growl and walked away, muttering obscenities as she went. Her hips seemed to sway with every move she made and Draco barely kept himself from grabbing her and kissing her brains out. All those years, to think that underneath that mousy exterior was a bombshell. who knew?
Her boyfriend's a dick He brings a gun to school He'd simply kick My ass if he knew the truth.
Potter knew. That annoying little goody-goody. He had obviously known for a long time and Draco hated the fact that he had been up shown by him of all people. Well, it was better than Weasley but still. And now he could almost understand why his stupid family loved muggles, if all of them looked as good as Hermione. And if Potter ever knew that Draco was crushing on his girlfriend. he'd beat him into a coma, if he were lucky. He wouldn't even think twice about shooting him with an unforgivable curse. And he'd probably get away with it too, being everybody's little hero and all.
He lives on my block And he drives an IROK But he doesn't know who I am And he doesn't give a damn about me.
Stupid Potter. He always got everything. He got special treatment ever since he came to Hogwarts and he'd bet he got it even better at home. Getting those special brooms from Dumbledore and McGonagall and God-knows who else. And now he got the girl as well. Not that Draco was officially after her or anything because that just wouldn't be the smartest thing to do, being a Slytherin and all. He doubted that if it weren't for him being horrible to them they wouldn't know who he was at all.
Cause I'm just a teenage dirtbag, baby Yeah, I'm just a teenage dirtbag, baby Listen to Iron Maiden, maybe with me, oooh. Oh yeah, dirtbag, no she doesn't know what she's missing Oh yeah, dirtbag, no she doesn't know what she's missing.
But if he thought he even remotely had a chance with her he'd go for it. 'Like she said though, I'm just a dirtbag. I'm sure she doesn't go for guys like that.' If she did though. He couldn't even begin to imagine the type of time he'd show her. He'd be there, not all mushy and that sort of stuff, but he'd be there for a good time and even a little bit of emotional support. He'd even forgiven her for that little stunt back in third year when she slapped him. He'd make her happy at least; he could promise that. 'She definitely has no clue what she's missing out on.'
Man I feel like mold It's prom night and I am lonely Lo and behold She's walkin' over to me
Draco hated dances. Why should this year be any different? People dancing, acting like bloody five-year-olds. and him feeling utterly out of place. No date because he hadn't even planned on going at first and then Dumbledore went and made the damned thing mandatory at the last minute. So, he got to see the girls all dressed up with their guys laughing, having a good time. He was entertained a little bit when he saw Professor McGonagall slap Weasley. Apparently, someone had spiked the pumpkin juice and he had drunk a little too much and was groping everything in the room that was even remotely female. Other than that there wasn't much else. And then he saw it out of the corner of his eye. damn! Just that Patil twin. How could he have mistaken her for. 'I'm losing it.'
This must be fake My lip starts to shake How does she know who I am? Why does she give a damn about me?
But as he turned the opposite way, he saw her. Hermione, wearing a dark magenta gown and hair done up with some sort of tropical red flower, was talking with Harry. He looked a little upset but then she kissed his cheek and his expression relaxed a little. She whispered something into his ear and, smiling, he hugged her tightly before walking away with a little red haired something dangling off his arm. The Weasley girl was hanging on him like the plague and he was smiling! It made Draco want to gag, before he realized that Hermione was alone, looking beautiful as ever, not more than ten feet away. And walking towards him.
I've got two tickets to Iron Maiden, baby. Come with me Friday, don't say maybe. I'm just a teenage dirtbag, baby...like you. Ooh.
"Hey," was the first thing Hermione said. She stood a good foot or two away from him with her arms crossed across her chest. "Hey. what was that all about?" he asked, just out of curiosity. He was mildly surprised when she answered him. "Nothing much really. Just that Harry found some one he liked as more than a friend more than me and I realized I didn't like him as much as I thought I did." "You don't?" "Well, at least not in that way." "Oh." They stood silent for a few moments, looking at their surroundings for a hint of what to say. "So," she started again, "wanna dance?" He looked at her for a moment and saw she was totally serious. A small smile crept onto his face. "You wanna dance with me?" She rolled her eyes impatiently. "Fine, if you don't want to I'll just go ask Seamus." But as she turned he grabbed her by the elbow and yanked her back to himself. She collided with his chest and looked up at his face, a smirk playing on her lips. "I'd love to dance with you." She leaned up and gave him a quick but gentle kiss. "I'd love to dance with you too." Draco couldn't help but laugh. "Of course! Wouldn't every girl?" She punched his arm and he took her hand and led her to the dance floor.
Ooh yeah...dirtbag. No she doesn't know what she's missin' Ooh yeah...dirtbag. No she doesn't know what she's missin'
AN: Hello, my fellow Harry Potter obsessors! My first HP fic! ::claps for herself:: Yes! I'm so happy! I know it has like, no plot and the Gym scene made no sense and had nothing to do with anything, but tell me how I did ok? I'd like to know if I'm giving any justice at all to the great and wonderful JK Rowling. The song is "Teenage Dirtbag" by Wheatus and I love it. ^-^ By the way, to all you out there who helped New York, this is my little way of saying Thank You. We appreciated it very much. We love you all! Bless the United States of America! PS - if you don't like Draco x Hermione, which I don't know why you're reading this if you don't, but if you would like me to write any other couple or plot for you, just write it in your review or send me an email (with the subject stated, thanks). Kk? Kk. Ja ne! And thanks!