The Amazing Smashy Amazing Race

by DynastyWarriorsFan6294

Twelve teams of two go around the Universe to win a million Smash Coins. Who will win? Leg One: Teams go to New Pork City! Who will be the first eliminated teams?

The Amazing Smashy Amazing Race

Series One

Leg One-"It's My Cheesecake Now"

Disclaimer: I own neither Super Smash Bros., nor The Amazing Race. In fact, I never watched said show as I don't have them here in Britain. :(. I'm writing this using only info from other fics and Wikipedia. Inspired by TSAR, TBSAR, and TESAR. This is TASAR. And just to help each team has a Yield power AND a U-Turn power. The only things I own here are Master Hand and Crazy Hand's cousins.

LEG ONE

Mathster Hand
Mathster Hand (Master Hand's cousin) stood somewhere outside and sunny.

"I'm here at Smash Mansion, where twelve pairs of Smashers are going to go on a race around the world for 1 Million Smash Coins. All they have is each other." Mathster Hand 'looked' behind himself for a moment, before facing the camera again. "They must use all these skills to survive a 14 leg race with mandatory rest points called 'Pit Stops'. This is..." He paused for dramatic effect. "...THE AMAZING SMASHY AMAZING RACE!" He stopped for a moment, and then looked as if he'd remembered something. "Oh yeah! Let's meet the teams!"

Mario & Wario (Cousins)
Peach & Zelda (Fathers' are Friends)
Bowser & King Dedede (Same League of Evil)
Yoshi & Link (Anti-Greenism Leaders)
Donkey Kong & Diddy Kong (Father and Son)
Pit & Lucas (Classmates)
Kirby & Meta Knight (Army Buddies)
Samus & Ike (?)
Fox & Olimar (Work Colleagues)
Pikachu & Red (Criminals)
Nana & Popo (Siblings)
Snake & Sonic (New Friends)

"Mario and Wario, cousins and plumbers, from Mushroom City!"

Mario & Wario
Cousins
"We're-a cousins," Mario told the camera.
"We're also-a plumbers," Wario continued.
"We're going-a to split-a the money 25-75!"
"I wanted-a the cash, while the idiot-a here wanted to win-a Peach's heart or something like that-a."
"What-a he said," Mario paused for a moment. "Hey-a! I'm not an idiot-a !You were the one-a who had-a to take the SATs ten-a times!"
"Hey-a! How am I supposed to know that iron is-a magnetic!"
"Because I told you-a every single day!"

"Peach and Zelda, Princesses from the Mushroom Kingdom, and Hyrule, respectively!"

Peach & Zelda
Fathers' are Friends
"We're Princesses, and our daddies knew each other because they're Kings!" Peach explained.
"We're racing to win our heroes' hearts. Link, if you're watching this, I love you!" Zelda said to the camera.
"And I love you, Mario!"
"And we're gonna win this!"
"What about Mario?"
"Meh. Maybe Link could also win."
"But can't only one win?"
"Then it'll be Link."
"NO! MARIO!"
"LINK!
"MARIO!"
"LINK!
"MARIO!"
"LINK!
"MARIO!"
"LINK!
"MARIO!"
"LINK!
"MARIO!"
"LINK!
"MARIO!"
"LINK!
"MARIO!"
The camera then cut off.

"Bowser and King Dedede, Kings of the Koopas and Waddle Dees, respectively."

Bowser & King Dedede
Same League of Evil
"We're the aggros in this race!" Bowser told the camera.
"We're in Ganondorf's League of Evil!" Dedede explained.
"We're gonna win this million!"
"And take over the Universe!"
"Or as much as we can take."
"Mwahahahaha-wait, what?"
"Well, it might not be enough to..."
"Blasphemy!" Dedede shouted, tearing out Bowser's face with his claw-er, gloves.

"Yoshi and Link, people working to stop Greenism!"

Yoshi & Link
Anti-Greenism Leaders
"I'm Link, and this is Yoshi," Link started to say, until Yoshi butted in.
"And we're victims of Greenism."
"We get bullied by people who don't know us, just because of the fact we're green."
"Hey! I'm green, you wear green!" Yoshi argued.
Link continued as if nothing had happened.
"So we are going to support the RSPCCG."
"The Royal Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to the Colour Green," Yoshi explained.
"We would use the million to promote our cause," Link finished, teary eyed.
"GREENS RULE!" shouted Yoshi.
"SHUT UP! You're making us look bad!" Link hissed.
"Eh. They already hate us!"
A rock came in, missed Link and Yoshi, and killed the cameraman.
"Oops..."

"Donkey Kong and Diddy Kong, Father and Son from Kong Island!"

Donkey Kong & Diddy Kong
Father & Son
"I'm Donkey," Donkey Kong started.
"And I'm Diddy," Diddy finished.
"And we're two of the Kong tribe of apes."
"We have a love of fruits, mainly bananas, and barrels."
"We would use the money to buy more bananas!"
"No, barrels!"
Donkey aimed a giant punch, but Diddy walked off and Donkey smashed his fist into a metal pole.
"OWWWWWWWW!" he howled.

"Pit and Lucas, friends at Smashville High!"

Pit & Lucas
Classmates
"People may think we're weak because we're small and little," Lucas told the camera.
"But we're going to prove we're really strong!" Pit finished.
"We have no idea what we'd use the million for though."
Pit pondered this, and then came up with an idea.
"I know! Let's make Skyworld all modern!"
"No."
"Awww,"
"Tough. We're getting into Uni!"
"Yay!"
"Finish my homework!"
"Yay!"
"Get me a fish?"
"Yay!"
"Kill your pigeon?"
"Ya-NAY! NAY! NAY! NAY! NAY! NAY! NAY! NAY! NAY! NAY!"

"Kirby and Meta Knight, soldiers in the Galactic Army!"

Kirby & Meta Knight
Army Buddies
"I'm Meta Knight, and this is Kirby..." Meta Knight indicated. "...and we met in the army. We're racing because..."
"I LIEK FOOD!" shouted Kirby.
"Sorry about that, he's a bit idiotic. Anyway..."
"NUEZ!"
Meta Knight cleared his throat. "ANYWAY, we're racing to buy our way out of the army."
"We were created to be in the army," Kirby explained.
"Sometimes he makes sense, though," Meta Knight told the camera.
"Sometimes?"
"Yes, sometimes."
"Sometimes?"
"Yes, sometimes."
"Sometimes?"
"Yes, sometimes."
"Sometimes?"
"Yes, sometimes."
"Sometimes?"
"Yes, sometimes."
"Sometimes?"
"Yes, sometimes."
"Sometimes?"
"Yes, sometimes."
"Sometimes?"
"Yes, sometimes."
"Sometimes?"
"SHUT UP!" shouted Meta Knight, slicing Kirby, who landed on Mars."

"Samus and Ike, er, who knows what?"

Samus & Ike"We're Ike and Samus!" they said simultaneously.
"And we're..." Samus started, but the camera messed up at that point.
"And we would use the money to buy..." Ike said, but the camera had been switched off accidently before he could finish. It came back on.
"...and we're gonna win!" said Samus, finishing her sentence she had been saying to a switched off camera.
They went to do some unknown action but the boom mic landed on the cameraman, who died an dropped the camera, which exploded, killing the sound guy. To this day no-one knows what happened.

"Olimar and Fox, workers at SpacExplore!"

Olimar & Fox
Work Colleagues
"We work together at a space exploration company," Olimar told the camera.
"It's called SpacExplore!" Fox said.
"And we work to explore space!"
"We'd use the money to get ourselves our own space company!"
"We would?" queried Olimar.
"Um, sure, why not?"
"Because we get paid a couple of million every day!"
"Oh yeah..." Fox wondered. "Then why are we on this race?"
"Because we were kidna-"

"ANYWAY!" boomed Mathster Hand, continuing with the teams. "Pikachu and Red, kidnappers from Kanto!"

Pikachu & Red
Criminals
"Me and Pikachu were once wanted for Pokénapping!" exclaimed Red, all too excited.
"But then I joined the government, having not been arrested," Pikachu explained.
"He wasn't arrested because the Jury thought he had nothing to do with it, though he did!"
"And I got him, my trainer, released. Although why I would that for an idiot such as him I do not know."
"HEY! I'm not an idiot! Would an idiot spend half a million on Pokémon?"
"Yes, actually, an idiot would."
"Oh. Okay then. I'll spend a million on Pokémon!"
"That makes you more of an idiot."
"Ohhh. Then I'll spend a million million!"
"A trillion?"
"Yes!"
Pikachu face palmed.

"Nana and Popo, brother and sister who climb mountains!"

Nana & Popo
Siblings
"I'm Nana," said Nana.
"And I'm Popo," said Popo.
"AND WE'RE THE ICE CLIMBERS!" they shouted in unison.
"We're siblings and we are epic climbers!" said Popo.
"Epic?" asked Nana.
"Yes. Epic."
"Okay then. We would use the money to get better climbing equipment!"
"Yeah!"
"Yeah!"
"Yeah!"
"Yeah!"
"Yeah!"
"Yeah!"
"Yeah!"
"Yeah!"
"Yeah!"
"Yeah!"

"And Snake and Sonic, new friends!"

Snake & Sonic
New Friends
"We met at Smash Mansion," explained Snake.
"Yeah, and we quickly became friends because everyone else there was from Nintendo!" finished Sonic.
"But...but...I thought we were friends because we were the only ones there not from Nintendo!" whined Snake.
"That's what I said!" said Sonic, annoyed.
"Oh."
"Yeah, that's right, 'Oh'."
"Yeah, that's what I said."
"I know."
"Oh."
"Yeah..."
"Yep."
"Anyway..." restarted Sonic. "...we would use the million to make Smash Mansion Nintendo free!"

Mathster Hand
"WHAT!" shouted Mathster Hand, completely outraged. "WE MUSN'T LET THEM WIN!" He then calmed down, and looked behind him, at what was probably the producer. It looked oddly like a green cloaked thing. "Anyways...let's just start the race, shall we?"

Mathster Hand
Mathster Hand was overlooking all the teams from the roof of Smash Mansion, the teams standing in a semicircle on the ground. "TEAMS!" Mathster Hand shouted down, but before he could continue, another voice shouted back up.
"PARDON!" shouted Link. "WE CAN'T HEAR YOU FROM DOWN HERE!"
"Okay, okay, I'll come down. Geez. Why do I have to listen to this green fool?" muttered Mathster Hand, before teleporting down to the Smashers.
"When I say go, you may head to your luggage on the bank of the River Smash. They are with your first clue," Mathster Hand told the anticipating Racers. "Good luck," he said, as teams prepared to run. "Travel safe," he told them as teams got into running positions.
"Win-a the million!" shouted Wario.
"Pi!" shouted the Maths maniac, and the Kongs started running. "HEY! Get back here! False start!" the oversized hand shouted, clicking his fingers, and bringing the apes back to the starting line. "GO!" he shouted. The teams ran off.
"WAAAAIIIIIIIIIT!" shouted Mathster Hand. "I'VE GOT A TIME SAVING TIP!" he shouted in vain, as the teams were 'all' too far away to hear him. "Idiots," he mumbled. "Now they'll never know that the luggage is at the back of the Mansion."

Kirby & Meta Knight
Currently in 1st Place
"Actually, we stayed within hearing distance," Meta Knight told Mathster Hand. "And now we've got a head start!"

Bowser & King Dedede
Currently in 2nd Place
"Quick, Bowser, use your Bowser Bomb!" Dedede told Bowser.
"Okay then!" Bowser replied, leaping into the air, as Dedede did the same.

Link & Yoshi
Currently in 6th Place
"Quick!" shouted Yoshi, pointing at the two villains in the sky. "Hold tight, Link! I'm gonna do the same thing!" As Yoshi said this, Link immediately jumped on Yoshi, who leaped in the air.

Mario & Wario
Currently in 3rd Place
"What are those-a villains doing?" Mario asked his cousin, before realizing. "Oh-a no! Look out-a!" he shouted, as the villains touched the ground.

Snake & Sonic
Currently in Last Place
Bowser and Dedede slammed onto the ground, creating a large shockwave. Yoshi and Link had jumped over it, but everyone else was slammed into the Mansion. Except Snake and Sonic, who were pushed down the side. And Kirby and Meta Knight, already around the back. Snake and Sonic reached the bridge, river and the bags.
"Here's the luggage!" Sonic exclaimed. Snake took the clue.
"Make your way to the front gates of Smash Mansion! You have 210 Smash Coins for this leg of the race!" he read.

Mathster Hand
"Teams must now make their way to the front gates of Smash Mansion! However, teams must cross the River Smash to get there, and must cross at the front of the Mansion."

Kirby & Meta Knight
Currently in 2nd Place
"Damn! They overtook us! C'mon, we've gotta get to the front gates!" Meta Knight told Kirby.

Mario & Wario
Currently in 3rd Place
"Hey-a! Look! Two-a teams are coming from the back-a with their bags!" Mario whispered to Wario. They proceeded to sneak round the back and get their next clue.

Bowser & King Dedede
Currently in Last Place
"DAMMIT!" Bowser shouted, after a lot of searching. "The bags must be at the BACK!" Them and Link and Yoshi ran round the back, followed by the other teams.

Fox & Olimar
Currently in 7th Place
Fox took and read his clue.
"Hurry, Olimar! We need to get a boat!" Fox told his teammate.

Snake & Sonic
Currently in 3rd Place
"Because Sonic's so fast, we got a boat quickly," Snake told the camera, oblivious to Mario and Wario's boat approaching them at extremely fast speeds.
"Now-a! Hit-a them!" Wario told Mario, and the boats collided, knocking Sonic in the water. "GAAAAAHHHHH! HELP ME! JUST FREAKING HELP ME! WHY AREN'T YOU F-" Sonic's voice was then drowned out by a speed boat. "-HELPING ME! I'M A HYDROPHOBIC, YOU KNOW!" Sonic shouted, and then calmed down again. "Oh wait! I can run on water!" He then ran back to the boat. "Hurry up! We've gotta catch them!"

Samus & Ike
Currently in 9th Place
"Idiots!" Ike shouted down to the river, walking across a bridge.

Nana & Popo
Currently in 5th Place
Nana and Popo were climbing underneath the bridge. Well, Popo was. Nana had finished.
"Hurry, Popo!" she called out to him.

Peach & Zelda
Currently in 4th Place
Zelda was waiting (as Sheik) for Peach to finish strolling across the bridge. In her boredom, she decided to kick Nana into the river.
"AAAAHHH!" the climber screamed.

Meta Knight & Kirby
Currently in 11th Place
"Swim faster, Kirby!" Meta Knight shouted across the river, as Donkey and Diddy's boat passed him.

Mario & Wario
Currently in 1st Place
Mario and Wario's boat hit a bump on the river bank, causing the Wario to fall onto the bank, as Mario hopped out.
"C'mon!" he shouted. "The clue's-a right there-a!" he told Wario as they ran for it. "Make-a your way to New-a Pork City and-a find the Pig-a King Statue!"

Mathster Hand
"Teams must now make their way to New Pork City. From there, teams must find the Pig King statue, where they will find their next clue!"

Peach & Zelda
Currently in 2nd Place
"TAXI!" called Peach.

Yoshi & Link
Currently in 9th Place
Yoshi and Link had dropped down a lot of places, due to being heckled while sailing across the river. A rock soared over their heads, just missing them, and fortunately hitting no one else.

Bowser & King Dedede
Currently in 3rd Place
"TAXI!" shouted Dedede. Bowser put his hands in front of a taxi and stopped it with his brute force. Fox and Olimar hopped in, but the taxi would not budge. Dedede and Bowser jumped through the windshield, showering the driver with glass, and then kicked the injured man out, before proceeding to drive the taxi at insane speeds across a field, which went directly to the airport, instead of a maze of roads.

Samus & Ike
Currently in 5th Place
"Ike, we need a taxi," Samus told Ike.

Nana & Popo
Currently in 6th Place
"Sis, we need a taxi!" Popo told Nana.

Pikachu & Red
Currently in 7th Place
"Alright!" exclaimed Pikachu, after walking around the outside of the moat. "We've made it around!"
Red pulled out a gun, and hijacked a taxi with it.
"If anyone asks," Pikachu said. "You've kidnapped me. I'm a government official, I need to keep up appearances."
"Driver, drive across the field!" Red shouted, holding the driver at gunpoint, shoving the current passengers out of the vehicle, as the driver (unwillingly) drove recklessly through the field.

Bowser & King Dedede
Fox & Olimar
Currently Tied for 1st Place
"In the taxi, we decided to ally," Fox told the camera. "So Bowser's getting us all tickets now."
"I wish we didn't have to do this, but they forced us to do it," Dedede mumbled.
"Everyone, I got us the earliest landing flights to New Pork City Airport! 7:55!"

Mario & Wario
Currently in 3rd Place
"We-a got the earliest flight-a! 7:30-a!" Mario told the camera, as Wario showed the tickets.

Pikachu & Red
Currently in 4th Place
"Pikachu got us free 7:55 tickets because he's a government official!" Red excitedly told the camera.

Peach & Zelda
Currently in 5th Place
"Um, I'd liketwo tickets to New Pork City, please!" Peach told the ticket lady.
"There's a 7:30 flight, but that's just finished boarding. But there's a 7:55 flight!" she told the team.
"We'll take that then!" Zelda told the person at the counter.

Samus & Ike
Currently in 6th Place
"We got an 8:15 flight, but we're waiting at standby for a 7:55 flight," Ike told the camera.

Nana & Popo
Currently in 7th Place
"We've got an 8:15 flight," Nana told the camera.

Pit & Lucas
Currently in 8th Place
"Look!" shouted Pit. "There's a 7:55 flight with 4 standby tickets! Get some!"
Lucas ran up. Samus ran up.
"Those tickets are mine!" she hissed at him. "I'm in a race!"
"Well so am I!"
"No you're not, you're too young!" Samus then proceeded to smash his face, and grabbed two tickets. Lucas grumbled and got the last tickets, leaving a business man walk away disappointed.

Pit & Lucas
Post-Leg Interview
"We've realised how much this race means to people and what they'd do to get the million, even in these early stages," Lucas told the camera.

Donkey Kong & Diddy Kong
Currently in 9th Place
"We got an 8:15 flight to New Pork City!" Diddy told the cameras.

Snake & Sonic
Currently in 10th Place
"We had a bit of taxi trouble on the way over," Snake told the cameras. "But Sonic is just getting us tickets."
Sonic ran up to him. "There's now two more standby tickets for a 7:55 flight that just appeared! Someone had to be taken off the plane! We got 'em!"
"YES!" shouted Snake, just before a voice rang out.
"Last call for the 7:55 flight to New Pork City. Last call for the 7:55 flight to New Pork City," said the voice.
"Hurry, Snake!" Sonic loudly whispered in Snake's ear.
"I'm comin', I'm comin'!" he shouted, strolling over to the gate where Sonic suddenly was, huffing and puffing on the way.

Yoshi & Link
Currently in 11th Place
"The only reason we could get a taxi was because of the laws in Smashville. However our taxi driver did get 'lost' though," Yoshi told the camera while Link was getting tickets.
"If it wasn't against the law," the ticket salesman started. "I wouldn't have given you those tickets on the 8:15 flight."
"HEY!" shouted Link.
"Keep it calm over there, greeny!" shouted a policeman from the security post.
"HEY!" Yoshi shouted. "And you're wearing green socks, good choice!"
The policeman quickly removed his socks and started stomping on them.

Kirby & Meta Knight
Currently in Last Place
Kirby was exhausted.
"You shouldn't have made me run to the airport!" Kirby moaned.
"Hey!" shouted Meta Knight. "We saved 11 Smash Coins from it!"

Kirby & Meta Knight
Pre-Leg Interview
"Meta Knight has got a money saver attitude," Kirby explained. "But it gets very annoying."
"No it doesn't."
"Yes it does."
"No it doesn't."
"Yes it does."
"No it doesn't."
"Yes it does."
"No it doesn't."
"Yes it does."
"No it doesn't."
"Yes it does."
"No it doesn't."
"Yes it does."
"No it doesn't."
"Yes it does."
"No it doesn't."
"Yes it does."
Meta Knight walked out of the room. Kirby kept arguing with what was now thin air.
"Yes it does."
"Yes it does."
"Yes it does."
"Yes it does."
"Yes it does."
"Yes it does."
"Yes it does."
"Yes it does."
"Ha. It's my cheesecake now."

Kirby & Meta Knight
Currently in Last Place
"We couldn't get on the 8:15 flight," Meta Knight told the camera. "But we got an 8:45 flight that lands earlier than the other flights, and closer to the clue."
"Yes it does," Kirby randomly said.

Mathster Hand
"All teams are now on a flight to New Pork City," Mathster Hand explained. "Mario and Wario are on a 7:30 Mother Air flight. However it lands in Onett at 9:15, where they must get to Fourside for a 9:30 flight that lands at 10:45," he paused for a breath. "Bowser and King Dedede, Fox and Olimar, Pikachu and Red, Peach and Zelda, Samus and Ike, Pit and Lucas, and Snake and Sonic are on a 7:55 flight from Nintendo Air which lands at 10:15. Nana and Popo, Donkey Kong and Diddy Kong, and Yoshi and Link are all on the Smashy Air 8:15 flight which lands at 10:25. However, Kirby and Meta Knight are on an 8:45 Statue Tours flight that lands at 10:00, but it does land at Pig King Airport, next to the Pig King Statue, giving them a major advantage!"

Mario & Wario
Currently in 1st Place
"Hurry-a, Wario!" Mario shouted to his teammate.
"Hold-a your horses! I'm-a comin'!" Wario shouted back.
"There's-a no time to hold-a my horses! Our flight leaves in..." Mario checked his watch. "...13 minutes-a! HURRY UP-A!"

Peach & Zelda
Currently in 5th Place
"Mario and Wario's flight is about to leave Onett any time now," Peach said.
"Let's just hope that they miss it flight!" Zelda cackled evilly.
"Zelda! Don't say that!" gasped Peach, shocked.

Mario & Wario
Currently in Last Place
"DAMN-a!" shouted Wario. "We-a missed our-a flight-a!"
"Don't-a worry!" Mario said, coming back from the ticket counter. "I've-a got tickets to a 9:50 flight that-a lands at 10:20-a!"
"YES-a! Thank-a you, cousin!"

Pig King Airport
Statue Tours Flight Landed
10:00

Kirby & Meta Knight
Currently in 1st Place
"Hurry, Kirby! Our clue is just here!" Meta Knight told his fellow soldier.
"Detour!" shouted Kirby. "Fight or Flight!"

Mathster Hand
"Detour!" shouted Mathster Hand. "A Detour is a choice between two tasks, each with their own pros and cons! In this one, Fight or Flight?"
"In Fight, teams must fight a Pig King Statue. It may be hard to deliver a million hp of damage, but hidden in the area are twelve New Year's Eve Bombs. Strong teams or teams who are good at finding things will find this task easy."
"In Flight, teams must follow a six mile course to their next destination, whilst being chased by a faster version of the Pig King Statue. Faster teams may opt to choose this task; however, it is only one mile direct from the courtyard the statue is in to their next destination."

Kirby & Meta Knight
Currently in 1st Place
"Let's do flight, Kirby!" Meta Knight decided.

Mario & Wario
Currently in 9th Place
"We've-a still got a chance-a to win this thing-a!" Mario exclaimed.

New Pork City Airport
Nintendo Air Flight Landed
11:15

Bowser & King Dedede
Fox & Olimar
Currently in 2nd Place
"TAXI!" Shouted Bowser, and then he got in one, as Dedede held the door open for Fox and Olimar.

Samus & Ike
Currently in 4th Place
"It's just down these steps!" Ike told Samus.

Kirby & Meta Knight
Currently in 1st Place
"YES!" shouted Kirby. "We've lost it!"
"Don't speak too soon, Kirby," Meta Knight warned, as the statue warped back into view.
"AW, F-"

Bowser & King Dedede
Fox & Olimar
Currently in 2nd Place
"-OX! Don't let off the fireworks inside the taxi!" the King, er, Dedede shouted, as the taxi started burning down.

Pikachu & Red
Currently in 5th Place
"Hurry, Pika! Just jump over these rails!" Red said, leaping over the rails and impaling himself on a rail below him. "OW!"
Pikachu jumped down much more safely, and (painfully) removed his trainer from the sharp object.
"OW!" shouted the criminal. "There's the clue!" he pointed out.

Peach & Zelda
Currently in 6th Place
"Hurry Peach!" urged Zelda. "It's just down these stairs!"
"I-" Peach gasped "-don't-think-I-can-go-on!"
"YES YOU CAN!" Zelda shouted, pushing Peach down a few steps.
"But-I've-ran-6-meters! That's-almost-a-marathon!"
"NO IT'S NOT YOU WUSS! YOU MAGGOT!"
"NO! Not Maggoty!" shouted Peach.
"What?"
"My-" sobbed Peach. "-Pet maggot! WAAHHH!"
"Weirdo," Zelda said, rolling her eyes.

Snake & Sonic
Currently in 7th Place
"Sonic, let's jump!" Snake told his teammate.

Pit & Lucas
Currently in 8th Place
"TAXI!" shouted Lucas.

Samus & Ike
Currently in 4th Place
"Samus, Peach & Zelda are just behind us!" Ike told his, um, we'll get back to you on that.
"I'm on it," responded Samus. She kicked out behind her, tripping Peach and making her fall over the rail, next to the clue box.
"Detour!" said the princess. "Fight or Flight?" she asked, as Zelda teleported down.
"Flight," decided Zelda.
"Whoops," said Samus.
Ike looked on angrily. The vision then changed to static as his facial expression began to change.

Snake & Sonic
Currently in 3rd Place
"Detour! Flight or Flight?" asked Snake.
"Flight, definitely," decided Sonic.

Pikachu & Red
Currently in 4th Place
"Let's do Fight!" decided Red, pulling out a grenade launcher.
"No, Flight," responded Pikachu. "I'm very fast and..."
Red sucked him into a Pokéball. "Ha-ha!" he exclaimed. "Not so picky now, are you?"
Pikachu couldn't respond, because he was in a Pokéball.
"Pika?"
Pikachu couldn't respond, because he was in a Pokéball.
"Pika?"
Pikachu couldn't respond, because he was in a Pokéball.
"Pika?"
Pikachu couldn't respond, because he was in a Pokéball.
"Pika?"
Pikachu couldn't respond, because he was in a Pokéball.
This continued for a while.

Samus & Ike
Currently in 5th Place
"Fight, we're strong," decided Samus, pulling out her arm cannon.
"Yep!" responded Ike.

New Pork City Airport
Porky Air Flight Landed
10:20

Mario & Wario
Currently in 9th Place
"Hurry-a, Wario! Just-a down these steps-a!"

Bowser & King Dedede
Fox & Olimar
Currently in 6th Place
"We're doing Fight," decided Bowser.
"We're more suited to Flight, so we'll meet you at the next destination then, okay?" Fox responded.
"Yeah, sure," replied King Dedede. Fox and Olimar ran off. "Yeah, course we would see you there. NOT! We'll beat you there and take the next clue without waiting! And then you'll wait for us and not cross the finish line! MWAHAHAHAHA!" exclaimed Dedede.

Random Courtyard
Fight
Ike and Samus were trying their strongest moves, barely damaging their opponent. Red was using his Pokémon's attacks, as well as a grenade launcher. Pikachu couldn't do anything, because he was in a Pokéball. King Dedede decided to throw minions. A Gordo bounced off the statue, digging up a bomb in the earth. Bowser saw this, and threw it, causing a large explosion, destroying the statue. The other teams realised this and started searching for more bombs. Bowser and King Dedede took their next clue.

Bowser & King Dedede
Currently in 3rd Place
"Make your way to New Pork Theatre!" read King Dedede

Mathster Hand
"Teams must now make their way to New Pork Theatre, where they will find their next clue. Teams on Flight will be following a marked course straight to this clue though."

Mario & Wario
Pit & Lucas
Currently in 8th Place
Every team in the area of the courtyard had cleared out, having realized what to do on Fight. Mario and Pit picked up the clue.
"Detour-a!" read Wario. "Fight or Flight-a?"
"Fight-a, definitely!" chose Mario.
"I think we should do Flight," decided Pit. "I can fly, after all."
"Nope," responded Lucas. "I know how to fight this thing!"
"Hey-a!" Mario called over. "How about an alliance-a!"
"Sounds good to me," Pit told them.

Kirby & Meta Knight
Currently in 1st Place
The puffballs reached a rather large gap in the path, with unstable ropes going across the gap, with route markers on them, indicating teams had to travel across the gap. Meta Knight looked down to the ground, realizing that the city was flying.
"That is...that is...that is totally, completely, and physically impossible!" exclaimed Meta Knight. He looked behind him. The Pig King Statue warped into view. If the team got too far away, it would teleport nearer to them. "Looks like we've gotta fly across," decided Meta Knight.
"Fly?" asked Kirby.
"Yeah, I have wings and you can inflate."
"Oh, right."
The warriors flew over the gap and reached the next clue, looked left and saw what appeared to be a hijacked taxi, containing two very familiar villains.
"Bowser and Dedede!" exclaimed Kirby.
"Roadblock!" Meta Knight read. "Who finds plays enjoyable?"

Mathster Hand
"Roadblock!" exclaimed Mathster Hand. "A Roadblock is a task only one team member can perform," explained Mathster Hand.
"In this Roadblock, teams must pull a ticket. That ticket is a time for a play. The selected team member must watch that play. Each play starts at a different time, but all end at half two in the afternoon. Teams may not swap tickets, and some plays may be emotionally scarring.

Kirby & Meta Knight
Currently in 1st Place
"I'll do it, Kirby," decided Meta Knight, pulling a ticket. "Let's see...12:30!"

Fox & Olimar
Peach & Zelda
Currently in 3rd Place
"Peach! Float across!" Zelda shouted across the gap.
"Quick, Olimar!" Fox told his companion. "Take these stairs round!"

Bowser & King Dedede
Currently in 2nd Place
"Roadblock!" read Bowser, leaning out of the cab to pick up a clue. "Who finds plays enjoyable?"
"Well, out of us two, I'd say I do," decided King Dedede, getting out of the vehicle. "Pull a ticket...12:15!"

Fox & Olimar
Currently in 3rd Place
"Hi Bowser and Dedede!" Fox shouted over to his allies. Bowser sighed under his breath.
"Dammit. They caught up," Dedede grumbled quietly.I"""
"I think I'll do this Roadblock," decided Olimar.
"Yeah, you're right. I'm more of a fan of action," replied Fox.
"That's why you man the weaponry," said Olimar, pulling a time. "11:35!"
Bowser started to curse.

Peach & Zelda
Currently in 4th Place
"Damn!" shouted Zelda. "Those space guys beat us here!"
"Roadblock!" Peach read aloud.
"I think you should do it," Zelda nominated. Peach had already pulled an 11:40 ticket.

Samus & Ike
Currently in 5th Place
"11:25," smiled Ike, as he received a ticket.

New Pork City Airport
Smashy Air Flight Landed
10:35

Nana & Popo
Currently in 10th Place
"Our flight was delayed in air!" shouted Popo, while he and his sister were making their way to a shuttle. "We had to take a longer route, all because of a guided missile locked onto our flight!"

Bowser & King Dedede
12:15 Ticket
"Do you think our missile worked?" asked Bowser.

Yoshi & Link
Currently in Last Place
"We were held up in customs," Yoshi explained to the camera. "Turns out they're not really a fan of green here."
"C'mon," said Link, pointing to the apes heading down the stairs. "The clue's just up ahead!"

Donkey Kong & Diddy Kong
Currently in 10th Place
"Let's do Fight," decided Donkey Kong.
"Let's do Flight," decided Link.
Link and Yoshi rand off. Donkey Kong played the bongos. Terribly. The statue crumbled.
"That was easy," said Diddy Kong, as they received their next clue.

Nana & Popo
Currently in Last Place
"Let's do Flight!" decided Nana.

Pikachu & Red
Snake & Sonic
Mario & Wario
Pit & Lucas
Currently in 6th Place
"What the...?" started Red. "...how did those two catch up?"
"Dunno myself," replied Snake.
"Roadblock!" shouted Sonic.
"You do it, Pikachu!" Red said.
Pikachu could not respond, because he was in a Pokéball.
"Oh yeah!" Red exclaimed, removing the sphere from his belt. "Go- Pikachu!"
Pikachu appeared in the most boring manner possible.
"GET A TIME!" Red shrieked.
"I'll be doing it," Snake told Sonic.
"I'll-a do it! You-a get stuck in the chairs-a!" Mario told his cousin.
"Guess I'll do it," Pit said to his classmate.
"11:05! I've got a quarter of an hour!" read Pikachu.
"11:45!" Pit read out.
"12:00!" Snake shouted.
"Let's-a see. 11:15-a!" Mario said.

Nana & Popo
Donkey Kong & Diddy Kong
Yoshi & Link
Currently in 10th Place
"Looks like we're all bunched together," commented Link, noticing that every team was there.
"Hey-a!" shouted Wario. "You-a green scum!"
"HEY!"
"Well-a excuse me, you piece of-"
"Calm-a down! The children!" Mario called out.
"I don't-a f-"
"Wario!"
"-ing care-a!"
"WARIO-A!"
"Well whoop-de-fu-"
"Wario-a! We'll get-a penalized if you-a swear-a!"
"AARRGGHH!" Wario shouted, clamping his mouth up.
"WHY!" Shouted Meta Knight
"CALM DOWN!" shouted Bowser
"NO!" shouted Link.
"WE'VE GOT THE FIRST PLAY!" Red shouted.
"I DON'T CARE!" Fox shouted.
"YES YOU DO!" shrieked Red.
"KILL ME NOW!" Meta Knight shouted.
"NUUUEEEZZZ! THE CAKE FAIRY DOESN'T EXIST! MY LIFE IS A LIEEEEEEEE!" Kirby screamed.
"SHUT UP!" Pikachu shouted.
"NOOOOOOOOO!" shouted Pit.
"ROADBLOCK!" shouted Popo, calming everyone down. "I've got an 11:10 ticket here!"
"11:50!" Link called out.
"12:10!" Diddy Kong read out.
"Well," began Pikachu. It's time I'd best be off. I've got a couple of minutes left, so I'd best go find my play!"
"Isn't it ironic," Meta Knight started. "That I was the first person to pull a ticket, but I've got the last play."
Kirby chuckled.
"Don't laugh!"
Kirby laughed.
Meta Knight was seen going to his film with a bloodied sword.
Actually, it was Ketchup.
Kirby was eating a hamburger.
And a hot dog.
At the same time.

11:15
11:05 Play is Late
"Due to the least important extra being ill," said a guy on stage. "We are waiting for a replacement. For your convenience we will cut twenty minutes out of this play. Expect the play to start in 20 minutes,"
"Damn," whispered Pikachu. "I've got at least a ten minute disadvantage."

Meta Knight
Roadblock
"Yeah, that's right!" shouted Meta Knight, watching the knight kill loads of soldiers on stage. "Kick their butts!" the knight promptly died.
"NOOOO!" shouted Meta Knight. "WHY!"
He then got a lot of strange looks from the audience.

All (but one) plays finished
14:30

Peach & Zelda
Currently in 6th Place
"Make your way to Beauty & Taste," read Zelda. "Warning: Yield ahead!"

Mathster Hand
"Teams must now make their way to a restaurant called Beauty and Taste, named after its food," explained Mathster Hand, before he shouted: "Yield! This is the first of three Yields. Teams may use their Yield power only once in the race. A team to arrive at the Yield mat will be able to Yield a team. If a team is Yielded, they must turn over an hourglass, and may not continue the race until the sands have run out."

Kirby & Meta Knight
Currently in 1st Place
"We're here first!" exclaimed Kirby.
"We choose to Yield no-one!" decided Meta Knight.
"Awww."
"But we might need this Yield later."
"Oh. Okay then."

Yoshi & Link
Pit & Lucas
Mario & Wario
Currently in 2nd Place
Yoshi and Link and Pit and Lucas Yielded each other.
"Greenist!" shouted Link.
"Ageist!" shouted Pit.
Both Smashers glared angrily at each other.
"Well-a, allies, would-a you mind us-a going on ahead-a? We'll-a wait at the next clue-a!" Mario asked.
"Sure, fine," responded Lucas.

Bowser & King Dedede
Fox & Olimar
Currently in 5th Place
"We choose to Yield nobody!" said Dedede and Olimar at the same time.

Bowser & King Dedede
Post-Leg Interview
"We would've Yielded Fox and Olimar, had they have not been there at that time," King Dedede told the camera.
"Oh well. We'll get them next time," decided Bowser.

Peach & Zelda
Currently in 7th Place
"We choose to Yield Donkey Kong and Diddy Kong!" exclaimed Zelda, sticking a picture up on the board.
"We do?" asked Peach.

Nana & Popo
Currently in 8th Place
"We choose to Yield no-one!" Popo told the camera.

Snake & Sonic
Samus & Ike
Currently in 9th Place
"Do you want alliance?" Snake asked the other team at the Yield sign.
"Yeah, sure," replied Ike.
"Alright then," commented Sonic. "We choose to Yield no-one!" he told the camera.
"Same here," Samus said.

Donkey Kong & Diddy Kong
Currently in 11th Place
"Oh no!" shouted Diddy Kong, pointing to the sign. "We've been Yielded!"
"NO! Not this early!" shouted the older Kong.
"Damn those..." Diddy Kong paused to check the sign. "...Peach and Zelda!"
"Ha," commented Donkey Kong. "I've had a romantic relation with both of them before in TSAR Series 2 and TESAR Series 1."
"Huh?" Diddy asked, as the fourth wall of a nearby building fell down.

Kirby & Meta Knight
Currently in 1st Place
"Look!" shouted Meta Knight. "The clue!"
Kirby picked up the clue. "Enter the restaurant and eat today's special!"

Mathster Hand
"In this task, teams must enter Beauty & Taste, and order Today's Special!" Mathster Hand told the camera. "Today's special is Chocolate Mud Cake! Made with real mud! One team member may eat almost all of it, but their teammate must eat at least one forkful!"

Kirby & Meta Knight
Currently in 1st Place
"Can we have today's special please?" Meta Knight asked a waiter. The waiter went off to collect the dish. Meta Knight saw an amusing scene at the counter where the customers waited to be seated. A giant, left hand, with a pink, frilly glove with lots of attachments on it.
"What do you mean, this hasn't got a beauty parlour?" she squealed. "I'm Beauty Hand, I demand one!"

Mario & Wario
Currently in 2nd Place
"We'll wait here for our-a allies!" Mario told Wario, as he stopped just outside the restaurant.

Bowser & King Dedede
Fox & Olimar
Currently in 3rd Place
"Why are they stopping?" asked Olimar.
"Dunno. But they've got no clue so unless that's part of a task they're probably waiting for an ally," replied Bowser.
"Ha! Stupid of him! I bet his allies are yielded!" Fox exclaimed
Dedede grumbled as they entered the restaurant, and he took the clue.
"Blah, blah, blah, eat today's special," he read.
"Okay then," said Bowser. "Two of today's special, please," he told the waiter, before putting him at gunpoint. "And make sure you serve us first!"
The waiter whimpered. "Y-yes, sir!"

Peach & Zelda
Currently in 5th Place
Peach ran back to the Yield sign, and kicked Link where it hurts.
"GREENIE!" she screamed.
"WHAT ARE YOU DOING!" shrieked Zelda, dragging Peach away by the ear, going inside and getting the clue.

Mario & Wario
Currently in 5th Place
"Can't take it out-a here much longer..." Wario whispered to himself.
"Sorry, what was that-a?" asked Mario
"Um...I need-a the bathroom!"
"Well hurry up-a!"
"I-a will!"
Wario ran inside, to see Beauty Hand put on the performance for the four new teams in the restaurant. Wario grabbed and read the clue, ran to the kitchen at the back, and took Bowser & King Dedede's cake, eating most of it, and saving a small bit for Mario. He ran back outside.
"Here! The manager-a asked me to try some of this-a, and then asked me to give you some-a! Don't-a worry, I-a washed my hands!"
"Hmm...okay-a?" Mario said, unsure.
"You can't spit it out-a! Otherwise the manager-a won't a give-a us our thousand smash coins-a!"
Mario had eaten it.
"Uh-oh-a!" Wario said. "I need-a number two-a!"
"FOR GOD'S SAKE-A, RUN!" Mario shouted. Wario ran inside. "Uhh...that was disgusting!"
Wario grabbed the next clue, took a swag bagful of coins from the till, nicked a policeman's gun, ran outside, grabbed Mario, and hijacked a taxi.
"Wait-a! What about Pit and Lucas-a!"
"Forget-a them! We need to get to...the game-a shop?"

Mathster Hand
"Teams must now make their way to Game, the game shop in New Pork City. Once there they will find their next clue," Mathster Hand detailed.

Meta Knight & Kirby
Bowser & King Dedede
Fox & Olimar
Peach & Zelda
Samus & Ike
Currently in 2nd Place
Every team had received their meal.
"EAT! EAT EAT EAT EAT EAT EAT EAT EAT EAT EAT!" shouted Meta Knight, after downing a forkful. Kirby inhaled the rest. Bowser and the King...
"HEY!" shouted Bowser, as the kitchen's fourth wall fell down. "We're both kings!"
...known as Dedede copied the same strategy. Both got the clue and ran off, into the same taxi.
"GO GO GO GO GO!" All except Kirby shouted to driver.
"Gimme some cheese, n00b!" Kirby shouted.
Fox and Olimar were having trouble. Only Olimar's forkful remained.
"JUST SMASH THE HELMET!" Fox shouted.
"But then I'll die!"
Fox smashed the helmet and stuffed the cake into the now dead Olimar's mouth, grabbed the clue, ran off and got a taxi, ran back in, got Olimar, dragged him to the taxi, ran back in, picked up the clue he dropped, and ran back to the taxi. And then ran back in, got their bags, and went back to the taxi.
"Game, please!" he said.

Pikachu & Red
Currently in Last Place
"Run, Red!" Pikachu shouted to his trainer, who was actually (using a hacking device) capturing other trainer's Pokémon. On the game.
A large crowd of people was advancing from all sides, except the emergency exit. They were booing them.
"To the emergency exit!" Red shouted, opening the door.
"Red, no-!" Pikachu started, but it was too late. Nigel de Jong was standing there. He jumped up, and kicked Red in the chest. Red fell down about ten floors and landed on the Yield sign. Pikachu jumped down and freed his trainer, smashing and emptying the hourglasses there.
"WechoosetoYieldnobody!" Pikachu said in a rushed voice, and dragged Red to the restaurant.
"Hang on!" shouted Pit. "The rules state that if the top part of the hourglass is empty, without being turned back over, then we can go!"
"RUN!" shouted Link.

Beauty & Taste

Snake & Sonic
Currently in 7th Place
"This is disgusting!" Sonic exclaimed, emphasising on the last three syllables.
"Hang on," mused Snake. "Where are our allies?"

Unknown Road

Samus & Ike
Currently in 5th Place
"Hang on," mused Samus. "Where are our allies?"

Pikachu & Red
Pit & Lucas
Donkey Kong & Diddy Kong
Link & Yoshi
Currently in 9th Place
"Hey!" shouted Yoshi. "Why are we last on the list!" he furiously asked as the fourth wall of the hospital fell down.
"Because you're green," responded the cameraman.
Link sliced the man in half.
"RED!" Pikachu shouted. "NUKE THEM!"
Red pulled a nifty-looking mobile out of his pocket and dialled a number.
"Hello, Blue?" Red asked
"What is it?" Blue asked, on the other side.
"Can you put me through to Yellow?"
"Ask nicely."
Red sighed. "Please."
"Right away," Blue responded.
"Hello?" Yellow asked.
"Where are you?" asked Red. This is all happening while sprinting, by the way.
"I'm over NPC now. Where would you like the bomb?"
"The Amazing Race flag by the Yield sign."
"Okay then. Anything else?"
"Can you put on Green please?"
"Sure," Yellow responded from his jet fighter, which looked suspiciously like an Arwing as he dropped low down, dropping a Smart Bomb.
"RED!" Pikachu shouted. "This is no time to speak to your girlfriend!"
"Hang on babe-" Red said, now covering the phone so she wouldn't hear.. "Shut the f-" an explosion was heard from behind, distracting the other teams. "-up!" He uncovered the phone. "Sorry about that-"
"Red?"
"Yeah."
"You do realise we're not going out?"
Red blushed, mumbled something like "See you later," and hung up.
"Run, Red! They're distracted!" Pikachu urged in a loud whisper, and broke out into a full on sprint, while Red called Blue for a Deoxys Speed.
"You know we don't have any legendaries, Red!" he said, before hanging up.

Beauty & Taste

Nana & Popo
Currently in 8th Place
"Everyone else has left here now," Popo told the camera. "Hurry, Nana!" he urged to his sister, currently indulging in a Chocolate Mud Cake.

Game

Mario & Wario
Bowser & King Dedede
Fox & Olimar
Kirby & Meta Knight
Currently in 1st Place
"Where are our allies-a!" shrieked Mario.
Bowser picked up the first clue.
"We must search through 10,000 video game boxes to find one of twelve boxes containing a clue in the instruction manual!" King Dedede read over Bowser's shoulder.

Mathster Hand
"Teams must now search the entire game shop for just twelve games with instruction manuals containing their next clue out of ten thousand!"

Mario & Wario
Bowser & King Dedede
Fox & Olimar
Kirby & Meta Knight
Currently in 1st Place
"Duh!" shouted Fox, the fourth wall of the store room fell down.
"Ten thousand-a!" shrieked Mario, forgetting his alliance temporarily.
"SEARCH!" shouted Meta Knight.
"CHEESE!" shouted Kirby.
"SEARCH!" shouted Meta Knight.
"CHEESE!" shouted Kirby.
"SEARCH!" shouted Meta Knight.
"CHEESE!" shouted Kirby.
"SEARCH!" shouted Meta Knight.
"CHEESE!" shouted Kirby.
There was temporary silence in the room.
"SEARCH!" shouted Kirby.
"I can't find any!" cried Olimar, too short to reach any of the games.
"Who made this task?" wailed Fox.

Samus & Ike
Currently in 6th Place
"Why are there so many potholes?" asked Ike.

Peach & Zelda
Currently in 5th Place
"Why, this road is impeccable!" exclaimed Peach, their taxi next to Samus & Ike's taxi.

Snake & Sonic
Currently in 8th Place
"ARRGGHH!" shouted Snake. "We're lost! That's the theatre!"

Nana & Popo
Currently in 7th Place
"No trains here..." muttered Nana, looking around.

Red & Pikachu
Currently in 9th Place
"Eat, Pika, eat!" Red encouraged.
"I've eaten all of mine," responded Pikachu.
"Oh."
"You've just got to eat your forkful."
He did.

Yoshi & Link
Currently in 10th Place
"WHY IS THERE ICING ON OUR CAKE SAYING: DIE, GREENS, DIE!" Link shouted.
"Umm..." the manager hesitated. "It, er...means vegetables!"
"Ohhh! They're a disgrace to the colour green!"

Pit & Lucas
Currently in 11th Place
"So...full!" Pit moaned.
"You've eaten nothing!" shrieked Lucas.

Donkey Kong & Diddy Kong
Currently in 10th Place
"DK...?" asked Diddy. "Did you just eat the rest of that in one gulp?"
"Uhhh..." replied his gorilla father. "...yep!"

Pikachu & Red
Currently in 9th Place
Red was on the phone. Again.
"Blue? Can I have a sports car? Where? Beauty & Taste? Thanks!" he said into the phone.
He then hung up.
"Pika!" he shouted. "We got a car!"
"Woo," Pikachu said unenthusiastically.
"BE ENTHUSIASTIC OR ELSE!" raged Red, retreating Pikachu to his Pokéball, holding the spherical device at gunpoint.
Pikachu couldn't respond, because he was in a Pokéball.
"Oh, right!" exclaimed Red. He released Pikachu and held him at gunpoint. During that time Donkey Kong and Diddy Kong stole their sports car and drove to Game. Red got out his phone.
"Blue...?"

Nana & Popo
Currently in 8th Place
Nana was looking out the back of the taxi, and then noticed something huge.
"Popo!" she shouted, alerting the attention of her brother. "Look!"
Popo gasped. Coming down the road was a flock of unicorns.
"No, you idiot!" Nana whispered as she hit Popo. "Look up!"
Popo gasped. Coming down the road was a giant tank.

Pikachu & Red
Currently in 9th Place
"Yahoo!" Red shouted, manning the turret as Pikachu drove the tank.

Pit & Lucas
Currently in Last Place
"Alright!" shouted Lucas, albeit sounding sarcastic. "You've finally eaten a forkful of cake! Let's go!"

Mario & Wario
Currently in 1st Place
"I can't-a find it!" wailed Wario, opening a box, taking out the instruction manual, finding a clue, putting both back in and closing the box.

Pikachu & Red
Currently in 5th Place
"Alright!" cheered Red. "We're nearly there!"

Peach & Zelda
Currently in 6th Place
"Driver!" barked Zelda. "Overtake that tank!"
"The one that just crushed Samus and Ike?" queried Peach.
Zelda nodded.
"NO! NEVER! NOT EVER!" shrieked Peach
The driver tapped a sign on the window. "That says no overtaking tanks!" he said for what felt like the hundredth time. (Actually, it was the hundred-and-first time.)

Pikachu & Red
Currently in Last Place
"No!" shouted Red. "We've gone the wrong way!" he screamed, ignoring the sign which said 'Shortcut to Game' on it, pointing the way they were going.

Bowser & King Dedede
Currently in 2nd Place
"THERE'S NOTHING HERE!" shouted Bowser.

Pikachu & Red
Currently in 5th Place
"We're here!" shouted Pikachu, as the tank pulled up by the shop.

Samus & Ike
Currently in 7th Place
"Slash their tires!" shouted Samus

Yoshi & Link
Currently in Last Place
"RUN!" shouted Link, being heckled after being rejected by a taxi driver.

Donkey Kong & Diddy Kong
Currently in 11th Place
"Where are we?" asked Diddy, finding their way to a hotel, where Crazy Hand was floating.

Snake & Sonic
Currently in 6th Place
"Here we are!" exclaimed Sonic.

Peach & Zelda
Currently in 8th Place
"They've slashed our tyres!" shrieked Peach, as their taxi span of the road.
"Get out and run!" ordered Zelda.

Nana & Popo
Currently in 7th Place
"It's just down this road!" Nana told Popo, while consulting the map.

Samus & Ike
Currently in 8th Place
"Run them over!" shouted Ike.

Pit & Lucas
Currently in 9th Place
"Just another half a mile!" Lucas told Pit while running. "I know my way around here!"

Peach & Zeld-er-Sheik
Currently in 11th Place
"RUN!" shouted Z-Sheik to her companion, who was half a kilometre behind.

Yoshi & Link
Currently in Last Place
"Overtake her!" Link shouted to Yoshi, whom he was riding, indicating Peach.

Donkey Kong & Diddy Kong
Currently in 10th Place
"Just another mile!" shouted Diddy.
"Overtake them!" the larger Kong roared at the taxi driver.

Pit & Lucas
Currently in 10th Place
"We've been overtaken!" shouted Pit.

Nana & Popo
Samus & Ike
Donkey Kong & Diddy Kong
Currently in 7th Place
All three teams burst into the shop at the same time, and grabbed a clue.
"Search the games for a clue!" Nana shouted to Popo, as did Samus to Ike and Diddy Kong to Donkey Kong.

Fox & Olimar
Currently in 4th Place
"Hmmm..." Fox mumbled, staring intently at Wario's 'searched' pile.

Peach & Sheik
Currently in 11th Place
"Passed Pit and Lucas!" documented Zelda, I mean Sheik, running past the two children.

Yoshi & Link
Currently in Last Place
"Passed Pit and Lucas!" commented Yoshi, running past the two children.

Pit & Lucas
Currently in Last Place
"Look!" whispered Lucas in Pit's ear. "A shortcut!"

Peach & Sheik
Currently in 11th Place
"Been passed," commented Sheik.

Yoshi & Link
Currently in 10th Place
"Almost there," murmured Link.

Pit & Lucas
Currently in 10th Place
"Alright!" exclaimed Pit. "We're here!"

Peach & Sheik
Currently in Last Place
"Can't be far..." mused Peach, strolling along at insane speeds of 3 miles per hour. Two if she stops to look at the scenery. One if she stops to chat with people.

Fox & Olimar
Currently in 1st Place
"Gotta be one around here..." mumbled Olimar.

Pikachu & Red
Currently in 2nd Place
"There can't be any clues. Maybe there's a mistake..." Red said to himself.

Yoshi & Link
Currently in 11th Place
"Finally!" exclaimed Link. "We're here!" He said unenthusiastically, as they walked towards the front door.
The security guard wouldn't let them in.
"Dammit."

Peach & Shei-Zelda
Currently in 11th Place
"We're in!" Peach explained to the camera.
"But Yoshi isn't!" smiled Zelda evilly.
"Link's with Yoshi," Peach whispered in Zelda's ear.
Zelda broke down crying.

Yoshi & Link
Currently in Last Place
"We got in through the back door," Yoshi told the camera.
"Fortunately the manager is a big donator to the RSPCCG!" Link said.

Yoshi & Link
Post-Leg Interview
"Man..." said Yoshi.
"We knew Greens had it hard, but never this tough..." rambled Link. The cameraman walked away because he doesn't like Green.
"HEY!" shouted Link, as the fourth wall of their interview room fell down.

Nana & Popo
Currently in 7th Place
"Still nothing..." said Nana and Popo simultaneously.

Bowser & King Dedede
Currently in 9th Place
"This is getting very annoying..."

Pit & Lucas
Currently in 6th Place
"Can't do this..."

Samus & Ike
Currently in 3rd Place
"Physically impossible task..."

Snake & Sonic
Currently in 11th Place
"Who set this...?"

Donkey Kong & Diddy Kong
Currently in 2nd Place
"I don't like this..."

Fox & Olimar
Currently in 1st Place
"Must be this one..." said Fox, opening the last one in the pile, the one with the clue in it.

Pikachu & Red
Currently in 2nd Place
"Screw this!" shouted Red, running outside and flipping Bowser off. "Pika! The tank!" he called.

Fox & Olimar
Currently in 1st Place
"GOT IT!" shouted Fox. Everyone else moaned. Wario burst into tears. Fox and Olimar ran outside and read the clue.
"Make your way to the Pit Stop, Hotel Pork by marked car!"

Mathster Hand
"Teams must now make their way to the first Pit Stop, Hotel Pork. Teams must travel by marked car," explained the cloaked Hand. "The last team to arrive may be eliminated!"

Pikachu & Red
Currently in 2nd Place
"Haha!" laughed Red. "We squished them!"
"What are we doing here, anyway?" asked Pikachu.
"Just you watch..." smirked the Trainer.
"What-?" Pikachu realised. "Red, NO-!"
It was too late.
"FIREEEEEEEEEEE!" shouted Red, aiming at the shop.

Game
"Oh no-" began Bowser.
"WE'RE ALL GOING TO DIE!" shouted Lucas.
"No we're not-a!" exclaimed Mario.
The shell hit, and blew up the building. All that survived were the teams (albeit unconscious), the remaining clues, and the manager's carcass. And the security guard, who was kicking Link and Yoshi.

Mathster Hand
"Good thing our clues and their envelopes are bomb proof!"

Pikachu & Red
Currently in 1st Place
"Pit Stop!" read Red (NO PUN INTENDED!) "Let's go!" he shouted.

Fox & Olimar
Currently in 2nd Place
"Ow," said Fox.
"Ow," said Olimar.

Pikachu & Red
Currently in 1st Place
"Almost there," said Pikachu.

Fox & Olimar
Currently in 2nd Place
"Almost...at...the...car," Olimar forced out of his mouth.
Fox forced vomit out of his mouth. Onto Olimar.

Pikachu & Red
Currently in 1st Place
"We're here!" exclaimed Red, stepping onto the mat with Pikachu.
"Pikachu and Red," Mathster Hand said. "You are the first team to arrive!"
"YES!" shouted Red enthusiastically.
"Yay," said Pikachu unenthusiastically.
"Well done," Mathster Hand informed them.
"What's are prize?" asked Red hopefully.
"A four by four each," said the hand. "But I'm afraid I'll have to penalize you for eight hours and twenty minutes!" Mathster Hand told them.
"WHY!"
"For..." began the Hand. "...crossing the River Smash at the back instead of the front..."
Red's face fell.
"...netted you four hours, you got another four hours for coming here by tank, not by marked car..."
Even Pikachu's face fell.
"...and then half an hour for contact with other people..."
Red blushed.
"...and then ten minutes off for Pikachu's play being delayed. However, I cannot give you a time credit for Pikachu being asleep for another five minutes."
Pikachu looked away, embarrassed and ashamed.
"YOU SAID MY WATCH WAS FAST!" shouted Red.

Pikachu & Red
Currently in 1st Place
Time Remaining: 8:16
"THIS IS NOT FAIR!" shouted Red.
"At least four minutes passed while we were talking!" smiled Pikachu.

Fox & Olimar
Currently in 2nd Place
Time Remaining: 7:59
"Just got to drive in this ten hour long rush hour traffic!" exclaimed Olimar happily.

Nana & Popo
Currently in 3rd Place
Time Remaining: 5:09
"Popo!" shouted Nana. "Grab a clue!"

Mario & Wario
Currently in 4th Place
Time Remaining: 5:08
"Make your way-"

Bowser & King Dedede
Currently in 5th Place
Time Remaining: 5:07
"-to the Pit Stop-"

Kirby & Meta Knight
Currently in 6th Place
Time Remaining: 5:06
"-for this leg of the race,-"

Pit & Lucas
Currently in 7th Place
Time Remaining: 5:05
"-Hotel Pork-"

Donkey Kong & Diddy Kong
Currently in 8th Place
Time Remaining: 5:04
"-by-"

Yoshi & Link
Currently in 9th Place
Time Remaining: 5:03
"-marked car-"

Peach & Zelda
Currently in 10th Place
Time Remaining: 5:02
"-WARNING: The last-"

Samus & Ike
Currently in 11th Place
Time Remaining: 5:01
"-team to arrive-"

Snake & Sonic
Currently in Last Place
Time Remaining: 5:00
"-may be eliminated!-"

Bowser & King Dedede
Currently in 5th Place
Time Remaining: 4:59
"-Let's-"

Kirby & Meta Knight
Currently in 6th Place
Time Remaining: 4:58
"-go!" finished Meta Knight
"-NUTS!" shouted Kirby, before going nuts.

Nana & Popo
Currently in 2nd Place
Time Remaining: 4:50
"Our train's arrived at the hotel!" explained Popo.
"We're out of money though..." said Nana.

Kirby & Meta Knight
Currently in 7th Place
Time Remaining: 4:47
"Damn the traffic!" shouted Meta Knight out of the window, as Kirby made silly faces and smashed the backs' of drivers' heads in different cars.

Yoshi & Link
Currently in 8th Place
Time Remaining: 4:44
"HEY!" Link shouted across to the next car, having being hit on the back of his head.

Nana & Popo
Currently in 2nd Place
Time Remaining: 4:41
"We're...almost...there!" Popo huffed, having almost climbed the whole way to room 2041, the lift being out of order.

Pikachu & Red
Currently in 1st Place
Time Remaining: 4:41
"It's almost been three and a half hours..." commented Pikachu.

Nana & Popo
Currently in 2nd Place
Time Remaining: 4:40
Nana and Popo stepped onto the mat.
"Nana and Popo, you are team number two! But because of Pikachu and Red's time penalty, you are the first team to arrive!" Mathster Hand exclaimed.
"YES!" shouted both Ice Climbers, hi-fiving.
"Except that you have a four-hour penalty for not arriving by taxi!"
"NO!" shouted both Ice Climbers, crying.

Snake & Sonic
Currently in 9th Place
Time Remaining: 4:37/3:57
"WHY IS THIS TRAFFIC SO SLOW?" whined Snake.

Mathster Hand
"That's it..." said Mathster Hand suspiciously. "...keep moving those lorries in front of them.

Lorry Driver
"Hey!" exclaimed the driver. "That's Snake and Sonic! I'd better let them pass!"

Mathster Hand
"Dammit!"

Mario & Wario
Currently in 4th Place
Time Remaining: 4:31/3:51
"Why did they give us-a these Smart Cars anyway-a?" asked Mario.

Fox & Olimar
Currently in 3rd Place
Time Remaining: 4:23/3:43
"Almost...there..." Fox said while driving around the last corner.

Pit & Lucas
Currently in 4th Place
Time Remaining: 4:18/3:38
"Good thing we decided to walk to beat the traffic, isn't it, Lucas!" Pit told his teammate.
"YOU IDIOT!" shouted Lucas. "THAT WAS MY IDEA BASED ON EXPERIENCE!"

Fox & Olimar
Currently in 3rd Place
Time Remaining: 4:14/3:34
"The receptionist said room 2041, but the lift is out of order. So we gotta walk twenty flights of stairs!" gasped Olimar.

Pit & Lucas
Currently in 4th Place
Time Remaining: 4:11/3:31
"Look!" Lucas shouted, pointing up the stairs. "Overtake them!"

Donkey Kong & Diddy Kong
Currently in 11th Place
Time Remaining: 4:07/3:27
"It must have been about four and a half hours since Red blew up Game. He's probably been checked in for hours.

Pikachu & Red
Currently in 2nd Place
Time Remaining: 4:03/3:23
"S'about twenty five to nine," Red told Pikachu.

Fox & Olimar
Currently in 3rd Place
Time Remaining: 4:02/3:22
Fox and Olimar burst into the room and started slowly limping across to the mat.
"NO!" shouted Red.

Pit & Lucas
Currently in 4th Place
Time Remaining: 4:01/3:21
Pit & Lucas burst into the room.
"RUN!" shouted Fox.
They both started limping at the exact same speed as before.
"Overtake them!" shouted Lucas.
"DOUBLE NO!" shouted Red.
Fox and Pit and Lucas stepped on the mat at what appeared to be the exact same time.
"Wow," said Mathster Hand. "Pit and Lucas, you are team number three! But due to time penalties you are first!"
"YES!" shouted Pit.
"But what about me?" asked Pit.
"Olimar's yet to step on the mat," he said, pointing out the fallen over Olimar.
Olimar put his hand on the mat.
"Fox and Olimar, you are team number two!"
"S'alright."
"But both of you have four hour penalties! Pit and Lucas for walking here, and Fox and Olimar for missing out part of the course on the detour!"
"But how would we make it across that gap?" asked Olimar weakly.
"By jumping."
"Oh," said Fox.

Pikachu & Red
Nana & Popo
Pit & Lucas
Fox & Olimar
Time Remaining: 3:57/3:17/3:57/3:58
"Join the club," said Red.

Kirby & Meta Knight
Currently in 5th Place
Time Remaining: 0:49/0:09/0:49/0:50
"Just five more flights!" urged Meta Knight

Bowser & King Dedede
Currently in 6th Place
Time Remaining: 0:44/0:04/0:44/0:45
"DRIVE UP THE STAIRS!" shouted Bowser, as Dedede drove through the lobby doors.

Mario & Wario
Currently in 7th Place
Time Remaining: 0:43/0:03/0:43/0:44
"Just run up these steps-a!" shouted Wario.

Yoshi & Link
Currently in 8th Place
Time Remaining: 0:42/0:02/0:42/0:43
"As soon as this car infront of us goes, we can turn into the car park!" explained Link happily.

Kirby & Meta Knight
Currently in 5th Place
Time Remaining: 0:41/0:01/0:42/0:43
"Just across this room!" shouted Meta Knight, pointing.
"CHEESE PIE!" shouted Kirby, as Bowser and King Dedede drove through the wall, buried Kirby and Meta Knight in rubble, and drove onto the mat.
"Bowser and King Dedede, you are team number one!" shouted Mathster Hand. "And you've each won a four by four, to enjoy after the race!"
"YES!" shouted Bowser and Dedede.
"NOOO!" shouted Red.

Bowser & King Dedede
Post-Leg Interview
"It feels good to win the first leg," said Bowser

Nana & Popo
Currently in 2nd Place
Time Remaining: 0:40/0:40/0:41
"I can check you in, now, Nana and Popo!" shouted Mathster Hand.
Meta Knight quickly extricated himself and Kirby from the rubble, threw the latter at the twins, and then onto the Pit Stop, sliced the siblings in half, and then flew halfway to the Pit Stop before teleporting the rest of the way.
Nana and Popo staggered onto the mat.
"Kirby and Meta Knight, you are team number two! Nana and Popo, you are team number three!"
"Woo!"
"Woo."

Kirby & Meta Knight
Post-Leg Interview
"Second's good," said Kirby.
"But first was so close," whined Kirby. (No typos in that interview)

Nana & Popo
Post-Leg Interview
"That was annoying. I'd like to get back at Meta Knight for that," said Popo, with evil in his voice.
"Still, third out of twelfth isn't bad," Nana commented.

Yoshi & Link
Currently in 8th Place
Time Remaining: 0:35/0:35/0:36
"Not far now," commented Yoshi, running into the hotel.

Samus & Ike
Currently in 10th Place
Time Remaining: 0:31/0:31/0:32
"Just been overtaken," commented Ike, being passed by Peach and Zeld-oh, wait, it's Sheik.
"Turned the corner," mumbled Samus.

Mario & Wario
Currently in 7th Place
Time Remaining: 0:30/0:30/0:31
"We're here-a!" shouted Mario, stepping onto the mat. It took Wario another minute to walk that far.
"Mario and Wario, you're team number four!" exclaimed Mathster Hand.
"Eh," said Wario.

Mario & Wario
Post-Leg Interview
"Not too bad-a," said Mario.
"I wanna win a prize-a!" whined Wario.

Snake & Sonic
Currently in 11th Place
Time Remaining: 0:25/0:25/0:26
"We're only ahead of Donkey and Diddy," said Snake.
Sonic buried his face in his hands. "We're out!" he wailed.

Yoshi & Link
Currently in 5th Place
Time Remaining: 0:24/0:24/0:25
Yoshi and Link stepped on the mat.
"Yoshi and Link, you are team number five!" Mathster Hand said cheerfully, before muttering under his breath: "Greens."

Yoshi & Link
Post-Leg Interview
"GREEN'S NUMBER FIVE!" shouted Yoshi.
"Yoshi's a bit patriotic about green," Link whispered.

Peach & Sheik
Currently in 9th Place
Time Remaining: 0:15/0:15/0:16
We're halfway up climbing!" Sheik shouted down about ten metres to Peach.

Samus & Ike
Currently in 9th Place
Time Remaining: 0:12/0:12/0:13
"Just three more floors!" urged Samus and Ike at the same time.

Peach & Sheik
Currently in 10th Place
Time Remaining: 0:12/0:12/0:13
"Gotta find a skylight..." muttered Sheik as Peach hoisted herself onto the flat roof.

Samus & Ike
Currently in 6th Place
Time Remaining: 0:11/0:11/0:12
Samus and Ike stepped onto the mat. Zelda smashed the skylight and jumped down, followed by Peach.
"Samus and Ike, you are team number six!"
"Meh," said Samus
"Peach and Sheik, you are team number seven!"
"Meh," said Sheik

Samus & Ike
Post-Leg Interview
"Sixth is alright, isn't it, Samus,-"
The camera cut off.

Mathster Hand
"Who'd have known that they were-"
The camera cut off.

Peach & Shei-Zeld-Sheik
Post-Leg Interview
"Meh," said Sheik

Snake & Sonic
Currently in 8th Place
Time Remaining: 0:01
"Pit and Lucas, Pikachu and Red, I can check you in now!"
Snake went to attack Red as their teammates walked over to the mat. Pit and Lucas walked over to the mat.
"Fox and Olimar, I can check you in now!"
Fox and Olimar strolled calmly onto the mat.
Red threw a Smart Bomb at Snake, blasting him onto the mat, as Red walked on. Red then used his grenade launcher to block up the wall. Donkey Kong then Giant Punched the wreckage, before being rocketbarrelled by Diddy onto the Pit Stop.
"Teams Pit and Lucas, Fox and Olimar, Snake and Sonic, and Pikachu and Red, you are teams eight, nine, ten, and eleven, respectively!" exclaimed Mathster Hand.
High pitched string music began to play.
"That means..." began Mathster Hand."Donkey Kong and Diddy Kong, you are the last team to arrive, and are therefore the first team in the history of The Amazing Smashy Amazing Race to have to..." he continued as tears welled up in the apes eyes. "...face a Speed Bump, an extra task only you have to do!" he finished cheerfully and quickly.
Donkey Kong wiped his sweating forehead.

Pit & Lucas
Post-Leg Interview
"That was close," said Pit, sounding relieved.

Fox & Olimar
Post-Leg Interview
"We got through by the skin of our teeth," said Olimar nervously.

Snake & Sonic
Post-Leg Interview
"We've got to thank Red for our placement," said Sonic cheerfully.

Pikachu & Red
Post-Leg Interview
"Damn that Snake!" Pikachu half-shouted.

Donkey Kong & Diddy Kong
Post-Leg Interview
"We got very lucky this leg," Diddy Kong told the camera.

Arrival Times:

Bowser & King Dedede: 12:59 PM
Kirby & Meta Knight: 0:01 AM
Nana & Popo: 0:02 AM
Mario & Wario: 0:11 AM
Yoshi & Link: 0:16 AM
Samus & Ike: 0:29 AM
Peach & Zeld-Sheik: 0:30 AM
Pit & Lucas: 0:41 AM
Fox & Olimar: 0:42 AM
Snake & Sonic: 0:43 AM
Pikachu & Red: 0:44 AM
Donkey Kong & Diddy Kong: 0:45 AM-NOT ELIMINATED

"Next time, on TASAR:" said Crazy Hand.
"Teams have troubles finding allotted flights to Corneria!"
"There is no one fifteen-a Lylat Air flight!" shrieked Mario.
"HA!" shouted Meta Knight, to no-one in particular. "I knew we should have come here first!"
"There's rivalry as minibuses race each other!"
"Put your seatbelt on!" Bowser shouted at Mario.
"Ha-haahh!" Zelda shouted, overtaking another minibus.
"Teams find that forecasting the weather is more difficult than it looks!"
"Umm... It's sunny on Venom?" Lucas nervously asks.
"IT'S RAINING MINCE PIES!" shouted Kirby.
"Pikachu and Red and Fox and Olimar excel in a dog fighting task!"
Red shot down another Arwing.
Fox shot down another Wolfen.
"And Snake runs into trouble with the locals!"
"How was I supposed to know that shooting birds was illegal!" Snake shouted, running towards the Pit Stop.
"You killed Falco!" shouted Peppy.
"All this, and more, next time, on The Amazing Smashy Amazing Race!"

So review, tell me who you like, who you don't like, who you want eliminated, and who you want to win. And tell me what's wrong with this. And vote on my poll.