There Goes My Everything
This little fic was inspired by the preview for episode 4. It might be a one-shot, or the first chapter of a longer story. I'm not sure, yet. We'll have to see what the next episode brings… In the Covert Affairs tradition of using song titles, this one comes from a country song that my grandma liked. Not my favourite song, but the title seemed appropriate. As always, reviews are greatly appreciated.
At the sound of the knock, Arthur walked down the short hallway to the door of his hotel suite. Looking through the peephole, he inhaled sharply at the sight of Joan standing on the other side of the door. Hands on her hips, looking more pissed off than he had ever seen her. But he had expected that. Just as he had expected the confrontation that was about to happen.
He opened the door. "Joan…" he said, motioning her into the room. She crossed the threshold, fixed him with an icy glare, but didn't say a word as she waited for him to close the door. As he turned to face her, she slapped him. Hard. So hard his head snapped back. When he recovered, he met Joan's steady gaze with one of his own.
She raised her hand to strike again. Arthur made no move to block her. He didn't even flinch. He didn't blame her.
"Are you just going to stand there?" she asked icily.
"What would you have me do?" he said quietly.
"Explain yourself!" she exclaimed, lowering her hand.
Arthur lowered his eyes, unable to meet hers any longer. He knew he had to tell her everything. He knew that if he didn't, he was going to lose her forever. But he also knew he couldn't yet. Not until he fixed everything.
"Well…" Joan said, her tone unchanged. She wasn't sure what she was expecting when Arthur raised his head – contrition, or maybe even defiance. She wasn't expecting what she saw. Tears.
"I can't," he answered meekly.
"I see." She shouldered past him, reached for the door knob, and yanked the door open.
"I'm sorry," he said, knowing it wasn't nearly enough.
With a final, withering look, Joan walked out, slamming the door behind her.
Arthur leaned back against the door, and slid down until he was sitting on the floor. His laid his arms on top of his knees, and dropped his forehead to his arms. He closed his eyes, taking several deep breaths in an effort to make the room stop spinning. He did what he'd had to do. He had sacrificed his career to keep Joan safe. But he had also hurt her beyond measure.
After several minutes, he stood, and returned to the laptop he had set up on the desk. He knew what his next move had to be. He just didn't know if it would be enough.