A/N: Okay this is my first ever Criminal Minds Fanfic, so go easy on me please. This is set in season seven Emily's return as well as JJ's.
Disclaimer: Don't own anything even though I wish I do but can't have everything. oh well.
Summary: Getting into a fight is one thing, fighting for your life is another yet what happens when you have nothing lose. A serial killer starts targeting women in power from a professor at NYU to Students, a tangled web weaved in and around the campus linking the unsub to all the students including the professor. His gruesome methods of torture and his struggle for dominance will it be his undoing and will they catch him in time before he kills again?
Chapter 1
Regaining What You Lost
Eight months of running. Eight months of staying under the radar, hiding from the one man that seeks your destruction. Eight months away from the only family you have every truly belonged in, family that believes you are dead. Family that has moved on.
The wounds long healed but the memories fresh as ever, reliving them every day, thinking about every minute possibility of changing the past, thinking about what you could have done differently, all the pain that could have been avoided, spared and the lives scared in the process, it was all on her.
Emily looked down at the cold dead body of Ian Doyle, her gun still warm and the smell of gun powder fresh hung in the air. It was finally over. All the running, the hiding, the seeking. It would finally stop.
The trickle of blood ran down her forehead, leaving tiny drops on the cold cement floor, her white coat slowly soaking up the blood that seeped from her stomach mixing with Doyle's blood as it dried a dirty maroon colour.
Now all it would take was one phone call and two words to bring her home to her family, to the blue eyed blonde woman she truly loved, had only loved. Emily looked down at the untraceable cell, placing the final call she thought she would never make, just the anticipation of hearing her voice made it surreal.
"JJ it's me Emily, ah… it's over… he's dead." Emily stuttered. The words that came to her head were harder to say, the seconds ticked away as she expected JJ to answer.
"If this is some sort of sick joke it's not funny. Emily is dead, you aren't Emily!" Penelope's voice rang out through the phone, making Emily pull the speaker away from her ear; this was not how she planned, only two questions were left unanswered, why did Garcia have JJ's phone and where was JJ?
"Garcia, its Emily. Where's JJ?" Emily asked, hoping Garcia would realise it was really her, but was sorely mistaken.
"You sic-" Garcia yelled into the phone but was cut off by Emily yelling back at her.
"Garcia if you don't put JJ on this phone right now, I swear to god!" Emily yelled, getting frustrated. all she wanted was to speak to JJ so she could arrange some flights and bring her home, where she could explain everything.
"Jennifer Jareau speaking," JJ's soft voice filtered through the phone and Emily closed her eyes at the sweet sound that had occupied her dreams and memories.
"Jennifer…" Emily gasped, a heavy sigh released from within her chest as she slid down the cold cement wall, her left hand raking over her face and wiping away the tears that silently fell, the gruesome reality finally hitting her.
"Emily? Oh god, it's over isn't it?" JJ's voice hitched as she awaited the one word that would make up for the last eight months of hell; anxiously waiting for her phone to ring and the first voice Emily hears is Garcia, and not hers.
"Yes," Emily replied, simply wiping away at the tears, "I just want to come home." Emily said roughly, not caring if JJ heard her cry.
"I'll book you a flight. All you have to do is be there." JJ replied. The sooner the flight, the sooner she saw Emily.
~CM~
That was three weeks ago and things didn't go to plan. But when do they? Morgan refused to talk to her, Garcia ignored her and Rossi didn't want to know her. Garcia's words still echoed in her ears and the pained look was firmly painted in her memory.
Returning home to a family that thought you were dead would never be easy, but for Emily, she thought they would at least understand why she did it. why she left to protect them, but obviously they were too blind to notice the truth that was so clearly staring them down and fighting its way through their clouded minds. The once solid family stood in ruins; unable to find the pieces that could cement them back together.
Emily stared at the white board looking for the clues that would lead them to their unsub, six victims in the past two weeks and they were no closer to catching him. Each victim was female, brunette and strikingly beautiful, each posed, with clear signs of rape and torture, strangulation marks on their necks and all aged in their twenties.
JJ stood in the doorway watching Emily as she looked at the white board covered in victims, their information and the gruesome pictures from the crime scenes. Every now and then she would hear Emily mutter something to herself. something that she couldn't quite hear and then walk to the board drawing a line from one victim to the other, lining up all the things they had in common.
Choosing this as good a time as any to interrupt, JJ walked into the room and stood beside Emily as she looked at the messy board.
"Got anything yet?" JJ asked curiously as she looked to the board. She was no profiler, but there was a pattern connecting all of the victims together.
"Yeah I do, there's the obvious connections; they are all brunettes, all in positions of power. It's the way he kills them: look at the way they are posed and then killed. By strangling them, he is taking the power he desires. He dominates them by raping them and by tying them down; they are powerless to fight back. He has complete dominance over them and an extreme hatred for women." Emily replied, leaning back against the table then looking to the floor, the tension in the room growing out of control and all she wanted to do was leave.
"I'll tell Hotch. Good work." JJ said, turning her back on Emily and retreating through the open office door. Emily never got the chance to talk to JJ. She watched her leave; as soon as she was here, the sooner she was gone and yet the tension remained.
Hotch walked into the office Emily was working out of. She was so wrapped up in her work she didn't hear him enter until he placed the file on the table; she looked up at him.
"Did JJ give you what I have?" she asked, setting her pen down on the notepad full of notes on the case.
"Yes, she did... Ah, Garcia found something. Liz Rogers - victim number one - recently split up with her boyfriend, Ross Howard. His mother, Stacy Howard, was murdered when he was fourteen. They never found the killer. He was in foster homes until he was seventeen, was awarded a scholarship for NYU, where he was studying English literature, which Rogers happened to be the doing also, except she was a professor. He isn't. Looks like he missed out on the job." Hotch read from the notes Garcia had attached to the file.
"That's got to be a stressor, Liz has the power and he doesn't. Ah... What else does Garcia have on the mother?" Emily asked, looking over Hotch's shoulder to read the file that had been compiled.
"Several domestic disturbances; child services where called twice. From what I gather, his mother was abusive and dominant." Emily looked back to the board. "His mother was abusive and dominant, right? Liz was a professor; he wasn't, so she had all the power he wanted. Now, all these women had jobs in high places, where did they study?" Emily asked creating another factor on the board.
"All victims went to NYU, studying courses from literature to medicine. Holly Woods was going to sit her exam next week. she would have been a qualified doctor by the end of the month." Hotch replied, closing the file and dropping it on to the table.
"He's our man," Emily said dejectedly. "Go deliver it to the team. I'm going to get some air." She added walking out of the office and towards the exit. Hotch's eyes never left her retreating figure until she was gone.
He understood the team's reaction to Emily, but what he didn't get was their reasons for pushing her away in the manner in which they did. It was making things worse and he was sick of it. He would deliver the profile with everyone one of them present, including Emily.
Emily retreated outside away from the pictures, profiles and certain set of people. They couldn't stand to be around her, they didn't want her there, but she didn't blame them. It was exactly what she had expected after Garcia answered JJ's phone. It wouldn't be easy coming home, but she wanted to try to or at least have things back to the way they were.
It was cool outside on the footsteps of the New York City Police Department building. The chilly breeze assaulted her uncovered skin and Emily silently cursed herself for leaving her jacket inside. She didn't want to go back in; not yet, anyway. The tension was unbearable when they were all in the room and for Emily, all she wanted to do was fade into the background, hoping to go unnoticed like she had months before.
Her reverie was broken when Hotch silently came up behind her, placing his hand on her shoulder. Emily spun around, ready to defend herself if necessary, but realised she wouldn't have to. His pained expression told her little about what he wanted or was going to say. So much for being a profiler. This man was a closed book. No wonder he made a good lawyer: he was unreadable.
"I'm not delivering this profile without you Emily. You did the work; you deserve to be there even if they don't want you to be." Hotch said, his eyes never losing contact with hers, silently asking her to come inside.
"They have made it pretty clear that I'm not welcome. The tension is unbearable Hotch. It's… It's... I can't do it. You know when I knew I was coming home, I thought my family would be there for me, but it was the complete opposite. I feel like an outcast, Hotch. Nobody wants to be in the same room with me. Why do you think they just left me to do the profile myself? I haven't spoken to them since we got here, and I miss them." Somewhere in between her explanation, she had started to shiver and Hotch took that as cue to go back into the office and give the profile to the team so they could catch the unsub and go home.
"Maybe it's not you that's the problem, but they each have their own reason for which only they can tell you. Come on Emily. Come back inside and get on with things." Hotch said, slowly making his way back to the precinct as Emily started to follow him. Oh, this was going to be a long day.
~CM~
Huddled and crammed into the tiny office, Hotch and Emily stood out the front of the group. Fresh white boards had been pushed into the room, creating a white screen that was covered in strategic plans for Howard's take down, and with all things going their way no one would be injured or otherwise hurt.
The minutes passed by and Emily stood silently next to Hotch as he gave out the profile, her eyes casually roamed to JJ's figure. She was leaning over the desk, looking at one of the plans, giving Emily a full view; her mind shut out the world around her as she focused on JJ. Her head titled to the side as she looked at JJ's cleavage, she had some nice… all thoughts ceased when JJ looked up at Emily and she immediately looked away as though she had just been caught with her hand in the cookie jar.
"Get your gear and meet back in five, ready to go," Hotch finished, closing his file and made his way out of the office along with the rest of the police officers and team. all except for JJ and Emily. Making her way over to Emily, who pinned another photo up on the board, she cleared her throat and Emily looked to her, eyes clouded and unreadable.
"I'll get my gear and meet you at the car," Emily said quietly, looking at JJ then turning her back on her and beginning to walk out of the office when JJ stopped her.
"Emily, can you wait for a second?" JJ asked, letting out a breath she didn't know she was holding. Emily closed the door and turned to face her.
"I'm sorry for all of this... the way they are all acting. I feel like it's my fault for not telling them sooner that you were alive, and if I had of been a little more careful with my phone I don't think it would be this bad," she slowly walked over to Emily. "As for you looking at me the way you were… I like it…" JJ whispered in Emily's ear before she opened the door and walked out, leaving Emily stunned.
Rooted in her spot, Emily closed her eyes, shook her head, trying to clear it but failing miserably. JJ's words reverberated in her head, repeating over and over until a knock on the window snapped Emily out of it. Hotch tapped his watch then walked down to Morgan as they made their way out. Slipping her vest on and holstering her gun on her hip, Emily put her microphone in her ear and shut the door on her way out, running to get to the team.
The car ride was silent and Emily stared out the window, looking at nothing in particular. The trees were a green blur and the residents on the street not important. Lights flashed and sirens silent as they pulled up, quickly surrounding Howard's home.
With all entrances covered, Emily waited around the back of the place, standing right up against the white wall next to the glass door, listening for the command to enter.
"Emily, go," Hotch commanded over the radio, her elbow connected with the glass, smashing the window and allowing her to open the door and enter.
"Clear," Morgan advised, clearing downstairs as Emily headed to clear the upper floor, her ears on alert and her finger on the trigger, ready to defend herself if necessary.
Each room was cleared except for one and Emily headed in alone, gun raised and eyes scanning. When she heard a floor board squeak, she swiftly turned to face the noise. She cautiously walked a little further into the room when something hard struck the side of her head, knocking her to the ground with a loud thud.
Half unconscious Emily rolled onto her back and looked up, staring down at her was none other than Ross Howard and boy, did he look pissed. Straddling her, he brushed away the small amount of blood that dribbled from her mouth and his hands suddenly wrapped around her throat.
Her instant reflex was to reach up and stop him from strangling her. Drowsy and confused, Emily tried banging her hands on the floorboards in an attempt to get the rest of the team's attention. Rossi and JJ made their way up the stairs when they heard thumping coming from the west end. As they got closer, JJ could hear someone gasping and, not waiting for Rossi to enter first, she burst in.
Stunned and speechless, JJ quickly walked up behind Howard and pressed her gun to the back of his head.
"Get your hands off of her now!" JJ yelled at him. He slowly removed his hands from her throat; she pulled them back and handcuffed him, pushing him to Rossi.
"We need an ambulance," JJ said into her microphone and knelt beside Emily checking her pulsing and cradling her head in her lap. Emily slowly started to move as she came to.
"Don't move Em, the ambulance is on its way," JJ cooed, her hands lightly brushing her bangs out of her face.
"He was right there, I couldn't stop him…" Emily said drowsily. Her head was spinning and a massive headache was setting in.
"Shh, it's okay," JJ soothed, watching Emily close her eyes and slowly fall unconscious. Tapping her cheek, Emily awoke with a start, her arms flying as she clung JJ, before she settled down once more.
"Ambulance is here, they'll be up in a minute," Morgan said, standing in the doorway, looking down at the two women on the floor. JJ's arms hugged Emily to her chest as it calmed her. The paramedics rushed into the room, putting a red spinal board on the floor next to JJ as she assessed Emily.
"She's in and out," JJ informed one of the medics who simply nodded at her and set about his work.
~CM~
"Look I'm fine I just want to go home," Emily complained from her hospital bed as one of the nurses changed her IV, when JJ walked in.
"You're not fine. You have a serious concussion and six stiches. You're not going anywhere." JJ reminded her sternly, sitting in the chair beside her bed.
"Look, I just want to go home to bed. Okay? Once I do that, I will be fine." Emily sighed as the nurse left them alone in the room and for once, the silence was comfortable.
"I spoke to the doctor just before I came in. He said you should be able to fly in a few hours and then go home, providing there is someone there to look after you." JJ said, turning her attention back to Emily who was shuffling around on the bed, trying to get comfortable.
"I don't have anyone JJ. I think everyone has made that pretty clear. Don't you think?" Emily remarked, sighing heavily as she gave up trying to get comfortable; the beds felt like she was lying on cement bricks and the pillows... she wouldn't even go there.
"Look Emily, Henry and I can stay at your place just until you are cleared, and just so you know, you do have someone. You have me and Hotch. So stop thinking you're alone and think about how you are going to fix things with everybody." JJ stood up and walked over to Emily's bedside, taking her hand in hers and searching for her eyes.
"What about Will? Wont he have something to say about that?" Emily asked, puzzled by her finger gently stroking JJ's hand, creating warmth she longed to feel.
"He won't have anything to do with this. After you left things went downhill, we grew distant and we decided it would be best if we separate. That was five months ago." JJ replied glumly, the memories etched firmly in her mind.
"Are you okay?" Emily asked in concern, her hand gripping JJ's a little tighter, lifting her hand up she turned JJ's face so she could look at her.
"I am, but I will be better once I get you home and we sort out the mess that was created." JJ replied, a faint smile creasing her lips as she hung her head to hide it.
~CM~
"JJ, I not getting in a wheelchair; my legs are fine! I can walk." Emily argued when JJ came into her hospital room, pushing the wheelchair around.
"Don't argue with me. Get in the chair now. Anyway, doctor's orders." JJ replied sternly. Even though she was trying not to smile at Emily's antics she couldn't help herself.
"When have I been one to follow doctor's orders, huh?" Emily countered, slowly sliding off the side of the bed and sitting in the wheelchair.
"Never, and that's the point. As long as you're with me, you'll follow doctor's orders. I don't want you making things worse, okay? Where is your bag Em?" JJ said, looking around the small room for her black bag, finding it sitting on the floor under the bed.
"Right, Hotch is down in reception signing your release papers and the team is back at the airport waiting for us so we can leave," JJ began walking down the hallway slowly as to not make Emily sick from motion. Emily simply nodded and closed her eyes and rested her hand on the handle where JJ had one of her hands.
The drive to the airport was quiet when Emily fell asleep, she was truly exhausted. Having a concussion and stitches didn't help either. Hotch and JJ spoke quietly so they didn't wake her up. Every now and then JJ looked out the window.
"How is she?" Hotch asked, turning into the airport and driving down the airstrip to where their plane was.
"Tired. She feels responsible for the team's reaction. She said she feels like an outcast, but I can't blame her for feeling like that. She wants to clear it up in time, but for now she just need's to rest. I'll stay with her until she is given the all clear." JJ replied, turning to face Hotch as he turned the car off and looked to Emily's sleeping form in the back.
He simply nodded in reply and opened his door. Stepping out, the chilly breeze sent shivers down his spine as he walked to the back of the suburban and opened the hatch, slinging all three bags over his shoulder while JJ helped Emily out of the car and up to the plane.
Half asleep, Emily wobbled up the steps and into the plane. JJ laid her down on the cream couch, pulling a soft blanket over her body and a pillow under her head before she sat down in one of the chairs close by, keeping an eye on her.
Half way into the flight, Emily started tossing and turning, murmuring something unintelligible, managing to wake up Hotch and JJ. When she started to moan in obvious pain, JJ went to her side and placed her hand on Emily's arm and tenderly stroked her face in an attempt to calm her.
Now wide awake, Hotch knelt beside JJ when Emily started talking in her sleep.
"You can't beat me when I've already won, my family is safe from you and so is Declan." Emily laughed in her sleep, bolting straight up when the sound of gunfire erupted in her dream. Gunfire that ended Doyle's life.
"Whoa, easy," JJ soothed, when Emily's hands grasped her head, by sitting up too fast her head started to spin and the headache she fought began to win over her.
"I don't think I have to ask what that was about, do I?" Hotch murmured quietly as Emily slowly lay back down on the couch and closed her eyes, remembering her dream in fine detail.
"I found him and killed him; I kept you all safe by running, but put my life in the fire every day. I left with the one thought of never coming home. That he would kill me, but he made a mistake and I took him down." Emily sighed, her eyes searching for JJ's which were clouded with unshed tears, sending a silent plea that she would tell her everything when they got home and she was alone with her.
~CM~
"We'll debrief tomorrow. Go home and get some rest. we all need it." Hotch informed the group as they stepped off the plane and walked to the suburbans waiting for them.
Emily leisurely walked behind the rest of the team, taking her time to the car she and JJ would share, silently glad that she didn't have to ride with one of the others. JJ placed their bags on the back seat and walked around to Emily's side, opening the door for her so she could get in, receiving a small smile in thanks.
JJ drove the familiar streets with ease to her place to pick up Henry from the sitter before they drove to Emily's where they would spend the next few days, who really didn't need looking after in Emily's mind. JJ being the mother hen insisted and here they were.
Emily stared at the blonde haired boy as JJ lifted him to her hip and then hugged him, pulling him to her chest. Smiling, Emily turned away when JJ saw her looking. She thanked her nanny and carried Henry to the car, putting his bag with the rest on the seat and put him in his car seat.
The drive to Emily's was silent and she didn't know what to say to JJ. She didn't know how to act around her anymore and to be honest, the last eight months had changed her. She had grown her hair longer, her confidence was stronger than ever and her motherly instinct was completely unbreakable.
They came up on her building. She had missed the spacious apartment. Yeah, it had been somewhere she could retreat to, but after all this time she could actually call it home.
"There's underground parking. I don't want to leave the car out on the street, just in case." Emily said, pointing to the entrance then looking back out the window.
Emily grabbed her keys from her bag and opened the door, letting JJ and Henry in, closing the door behind her she set the alarm and put her keys and phone on the table, walking over to her safe she put her gun and holster inside, locking them away so it was safe.
"Are you hungry?" Emily asked JJ as she walked into the kitchen and looked through her fridge and - no surprise to her - there was zero to eat in the fridge, except for a couple of eggs and butter.
"I already checked the fridge Emily; there was nothing. But I guess you get that from being away all the time, do you want to order in? I have food for Henry, so that's not a problem." JJ said, pulling Henry's food out as she went.
"Yeah, okay, Chinese then?" Emily asked, picking up her phone; JJ nodded in reply and set about getting Henry sorted while Emily made the order, not having to tell her what she wanted as Emily already knew her preference.
Thirty minutes later their takeout arrived and JJ put Henry to bed, returning with a tired expression on her face. What she wouldn't do for a few hours sleep. Picking up the white container she took her chopsticks and started eating. It wasn't as nice as a home cooked meal, but it would do for now. she would go shopping tomorrow while Henry was at the sitters.
They had settled comfortable silence and Emily wanted to break it. She wanted to talk about things, not just let them sit there waiting to be stirred up and then spill everywhere.
"JJ, can we talk about things?" Emily asked cautiously, placing her container on the mahogany table that separated them from each other.
"Sure, what about?" JJ replied, looking up at Emily, meeting her eyes. They were laden with misjudgement, fear and a little bit of something else she couldn't quite discern.
"Was it a mistake me coming back?" Emily asked, a heavy sigh leaving her in the process.
"Personally, no, but the others think otherwise. From what I've heard in passing, they're angry you came back, but without the prior knowledge that you were alive, they are bound to think that. Things after you left where shattering. It just wasn't the same, the buzzing atmosphere you added left, the light you brought to people's day disappeared. Your eye for detail, but most of all you, they missed you, like lost sheep looking for their farmer." JJ explained, her eyes misted at the mere memories of the past eight months.
"How do I fix things? Put things back to the way they were?" Emily countered, her eyes finally leaving the floor and looking to JJ.
"I don't think things can be how they were, but you can make things better. You know that. I think in time they will forgive, it's just a matter of when. I think for the moment it might be best to talk to them one at a time." JJ said, slowly standing up and coming to sit on the couch Emily was on.
"Okay. I'll give it some time. It might be best if I talk to Garcia first; I miss her." Emily said, wiping a stray tear that slid own her cheek. JJ pulled Emily down so her head was resting on her shoulder.
"I missed you, each day I looked at my phone thinking and waiting for you to call and tell me it was over. That he was dead and you were coming home, after three months I sort of lost hope of hearing from you. Three turned into four and four turned into five, and here it is, eight months later and you're calling to say it's over, only to get Garcia who screamed at you. Definitely not how I planned it would happen." JJ sighed, running her hand up and down Emily's bare arm, creating a trail of goose bumps in her wake.
"I never - and I stress never - want that to happen again." Emily looked up at JJ before closing her eyes.
"Neither do I. Let me say that now before you fall asleep on me. I think you should go to bed. We can talk in the morning." JJ slowly lifted Emily off her, who was now half asleep. As much as she would like to stay on the couch with Emily, JJ couldn't, knowing they would be both sore and most likely end up in a compromising position.
So, being the good girl she was, JJ helped Emily to bed, glad she didn't have to help her change as Emily walked off into the bathroom to do so on her own. She said goodnight and walked to the spare bedroom down the hall from Emily's and next to Henry's and let herself drift slowly into a peaceful slumber.