Betty stared glumly outside her window. The view was perfect. Trafalgar Square sprawled below awash with crowds of Christmas tree admirers and tourists. They dark grey sky made the fairy lights twinkle brighter and the occasional splashes of colour from someone's coat or scarf pop. Yet this only made Betty sigh.
"Missing your family?"
Phil, her assistant laid down the final proof in front of her. "If you are, this will be good news. We are finally done for the year. Finito. Time to go home."
"And here I thought you loved your job."
"I love writing and I love working with you Betty. But, and I am sincerely sorry, I love Christmas more."
As if to emphasise his point, the protruding red nose from the Rudolph that was adorned on Phil's sweater glowed red.
Betty ignored it and said, "C'mon Phil, let's go see what Scrooge thinks about our first Christmas issue."
"Brilliant!"
"Wha-? Are you sure? And Sir, why are you wearing elf ears?"
"Oh these?" Dunne pulled them off and tossed them onto the table. "From my son' pageant. It was Rose's idea that we all wear them for a while so he wouldn't feel left out. I felt completely in character late last night when I was wrapping presents. I can see it now, snow falling lazily outside, crackling fire, Santa making us elves mead..."
He trailed off with a contented smile as if remembering a fairy tale trip he had taken to the North Pole.
"Anyway! Back to business, we all want to go to Christmas. But that saying, I haven't reviewed this half heartedly, Christmas is a time when readership goes up and I feel that it will go up even more with the strength of this issue. Well done Betty. You and Phil should be very proud."
"That's it?"
"Hrm? What do you mean?" Dunne was now pouring eggnog into three Christmas tree covered mugs, Phil grabbed his eagerly.
"No mark-ups? No notes? No changes?"
"Well this is about the third revision so usually there aren't any. Betty, relax. You've done a fantastic job this year and for this issue. Its time you celebrated Christmas. Cheers!" Dunne and Phil clinked their mugs together and downed the eggnog.
With more than half a day to spare after being sent home early, Betty decided to do some Christmas shopping. She had experienced New York crowds before, swearing and pushing and shoving, but Londoners were something else. The queue to buy Christmas cards alone was more than ten minutes long, but yet they chatted happily to each other, and strangers were being uncommonly kind, "No I insist you first!", "I'm only popping these down, it would be terribly rude of me to push in!" In Tesco's while she debated over whether to make her own almond meal or buy it ready made, an elderly woman bent over and said, "Not sure whether you like this sort of thing, but just a tip, the nut shop outside makes it fresh, only $20 a kilo, better than this stuff. Who know how long its been here!" Betty squeezed out a tight "Thankyou!" and grabbed the fresh almonds to make the meal herself (it would be fresh and cheaper than the nut shop) and hurried to the checkout.
Weighed down with presents, butter, sugar, eggs and now a kilo of almonds, Betty ungainly caught the bus and walked the long five flights to her flat. Sweaty and grateful, she unlocked the door.
"MERRY CHRISTMAS!"
Betty screamed and lurched backwards, the sickening crunch told her she had landed on the eggs.
"Daniel, what the HELL?"
Their flat was an explosion of red, green and sparkle. Every surface was covered in either pine, tinsel, or fairy light. Daniel himself was in a Santa suit complete with a blinking pompom at the end of his red cap. He gathered her into a red and white furry hug and kissed her.
"Do you like it?"
"It's, um, very festive."
"I know how much you love Christmas and I just wanted to make it extra special for you, since its 1. Our first Christmas in London and 2. Our first Christmas together."
"No it isn't, we've known each other for five years."
"No I meant...as a couple." Daniel's face fell and just like that, it was as his pompom had also blown itself out.
An apology was on the tip of Betty's tongue. Yet what streamed out was this:
"I don't feel the Christmas spirit at all! I don't know what everyone else is on, but I want some of it! I don't know why I'm feeling like this, so don't ask! I know I'm usually all optimistic fairies-are-real loving-life Betty but I just can't, can't be that right now! I'm sorry I know you're happy and so is everyone else but I'm not and I have no idea WHY!" To complete the melodramatic hissy-fit-ness of it all, Betty flung down her shopping, shouldered her bag and walked out in a huff.
The cold bit Betty's ears, despite this, and the bleakness of the bare trees, ice covered lake and the rapidly diminishing sunlight even though it was barely 4pm (typical English winter), Hyde Park was still beautiful. She took another sip of the hot chocolate. Right now, the scene, the drink and the moment was perfect, except for how she felt and that Daniel wasn't with her. She felt best when she just let everything go and watched orange pink hue that traversed between water and sky. Squirrels ran past, sniffing curiously at her boots, she giggled and lifted them up, "I'm not hiding any acorns!" She sighed and thought, so I can be lovely to some wild animals and not my own loving boyfriend? What is wrong with me?
Daniel was asleep on the couch in front of the heater when Betty came in. Betty knelt down and studied his face. She imagined Daniel with her that evening, having hot chocolate watching the sunset in Hyde Park, having a pint at the nearby pub (even though she didn't really fancy warm beer) and tucking into a hearty pie and mashed potatoes, admiring the Christmas lights that were strung up over laneways and in shop windows, smiling at the holiday mood that had settled over London like fog while she queued with other cheerful folk for a warm mulled wine at the nearby markets. What would he have done? He would have stolen half her food and drink, taken silly photos of them kissing below the mistletoe, chatted with strangers, held her hand and kissed her rosy wind bitten cheek. She smoothed his hair. It was perfect, with or without him. The difference was, that as happy as she had been that night, she had wanted him with her, but she had needed to be by herself. Just for a bit.
She kissed him awake. "Hey."
"Hey." Even rumpled and sleepy he could still do the hang-dog look effectively.
"Don't worry I'm not mad or sad. And I'm sorry."
"What's wrong Betty?"
"Nothing. It's just me. I get like this every year, I spend twelve months of the year in top gear running around, multi tasking, looking after everything and everyone that when I finally get some time to myself and time to really enjoy what I've worked for, time with my friends and family, I get a bit crazy. I can't explain it very well, I just think, I lose myself in everything else and when I have time to think about myself I get scared that I haven't done enough for myself, my career, my health whatever and I want to do more but I'm so so tired but if I rest, the time will just fly by and it will start all over again..."
"You should take more time for yourself, not just as Christmas. During the entire year."
"But what about us? My family?"
"We are fine. Your family is fine. We won't be, if you're not. I don't want you feeling crazy when it's supposed to be a happy time." He paused, "You should say no to me more often."
"Say no to you? As if I could say no to sleeping with you!"
Daniel cracked an evil smile, "Ok you can't say no to that, but you can do things on your own more. Do what you want to do. After all, you came here all by yourself, because you wanted to. I just crashed the party."
"I'm happy you stayed, London-crasher."
"Me too."
Daniel hugged Betty tight and kissed her. "Are you ok?"
"I am. I had a great night on my own."
"I can tell, I can smell the pub and pie on you."
"You didn't pick up the hot chocolate or the mulled wine though."
"You bad girl."
"Am I on the naughty list Santa? Oh ew creepy!"
Daniel laughed. "You are but I love you anyway. Merry Christmas Betty."
"Merry Christmas Daniel. Love you too."