I was debating whether or not to do a serious, Fear Street audience adaptation of the Monster Blood series or to just do a parody. Luckily, I chose the latter.

I like to think the Goosebumps books (well, past #28, when it appeared that R.L. Stine just stopped trying) are already subtle parodies. Enjoy.

Monster Blood, Again

by BadMoonlight

Chapter One

Evan Ross had a problem.

It wasn't the fact that he was starting a new high school. It wasn't the fact that he hadn't outgrown his awkward stage yet and still looked just as much the gawky twelve-year-old he always did, even though he was now fourteen. It wasn't even the fact that he had already made enemies with Trevor West, one of the most popular boys in school.

No, this problem was much worse than all of those combined, and came in a bright blue can marked Monster Blood.

The day had gotten of to a bad start when Evan, who noticed that Trevor was much bigger and older than all of the other kids in his Algebra class, wondered aloud if the boy was in the wrong room. One black eye and sore ribcage later, Evan learned that Trevor was indeed in the correct room, and was repeating the class for the second time.

Then it only got worse when Conan "The Barbarian" Barber, Evan's middle school arch-nemesis, ended up being in Evan's second period gym class. Although since it was the first day and no one was expected to do anything much for class, that hadn't stopped Conan and his friends from having fun with Evan and the tetherball pole.

That afternoon, after he limped down to his locker to collect his sack lunch, he gasped at what he saw resting on the shelf next to it.

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Evan raced to the cafeteria. He had to find Andy.

Andy, whose real name was Andrea, was Evan's best friend. She was a funny tomboy who loved to wear bright colors, crack jokes, and never shut her mouth.

After finding an empty table and getting started on his sandwich (he was annoyed to find that it was egg salad again), he finally spotted Andy entering the cafeteria. As usual, she was decked out in bright colors, although her outfits had become a bit more elaborate and sophisticated over the years. She was wearing a turquoise boatneck sweater over a white sleeveless shirt and black leggings. Her large, day-glo green hoop earrings hung almost to her shoulders, past her short dark hair, and perfectly matched her neon green sandals.

As much as Evan hated to admit it, Andy had grown to be really pretty over the past few years. Well, he always knew she was pretty, but she didn't know she was pretty until recently. He was afraid that once she had made this discovery, she would prefer the company of the many other neighborhood boys to his. Lucky for him, she hadn't made the switch yet.

Evan stood up to get Andy's attention. Of course he didn't have any trouble spotting her, but he, in his brown wool sweater and forest green corduroys, wasn't exactly material for the next issue of GQ. He considered waving his arms and jumping up and down, but she had already turned her head and recognized him. Finally!

Andy was giving Evan a funny look. It was a sad, worried look. Oh, no. Could her unhappy expression have anything to do with the can of Monster Blood that she saw him holding?

"It's not what you think, Andy!" Evan wanted to shout. "I promise that it's not full!"

Of course, he didn't. Shouting at someone across the crowded cafeteria - what did he look like, a lunatic? This was his first day of high school, and he wanted to make a good impression.

After bringing over her sack lunch carefully over to his table, Andy leaned next to him and whispered.

"What were you doing carrying around that can of Play-Doh all day?"