Fic Title Mobian Laws Notwithstanding
Author Band8PGeek
Fandom "Sonic The Hedgehog", subsection "Adventures of Sonic the Hedgehog"
Pairing Scratch/Grounder implied
Rating T
Warnings There be spoilers for the series here and there, so if you're a virgin to the show I suggest you watch at least a little bit of it first before coming back; and by a little bit I mean an actual episode as opposed to YoutubePoop. There also be a lot of legality talk, robot lackey slash implied, and slight comma-and-bracket-happiness.
Notes I figured I'd try something a little different with the pre-fic layout today.
Is it possible to dedicate a fic to someone who on here is anonymous? Huh. At any rate, this fic was made as a gift for a person who on LiveJournal is known as wildonion. She appeared to like it, and with her permission I decided to release here just in case there is still a lack of Scratch and Grounder fic.
On that note, is there a severe lack of Scratch and Grounder fic? Do blue hedgehogs wear red sneakers?
Disclaimer If I could come up with a witty way of saying I don't own Scratch, Grounder or Robotnik without pissing people who hate funny disclaimers off, I would use it here.
Summary It was almost inevitable that Scratch would find his compulsory study of the legal system fascinating in a kamikaze sort of way. But he's not so keen on certain laws he is made to memorize because they hit a little bit close to home.
Like any sentient planet in this universe and beyond, Mobius has its own set of laws and legalities that all citizens have to abide by. And like other sentient planets, citizens come in three breeds when it comes to these laws: there are those who actively memorize the rules so they can enforce them (coughSonictheHedgehogcough); there are those who don't really have a reason to memorize them; and there are those who actively memorize the rules so they can break them and exploit them to do evil deeds.
Scratch was an example of the latter.
Or, to be more accurate, Scratch became an example of the latter after a little persuasion. Like his 'biomechanical-twin' Grounder, he was initially skeptical as to why he had to get such things in his head, much preferring to spend his non-failing-to-catch-Sonic time watching cop movies and The Heroic Adventures of Edgar Eagle. They were law-breakers, not law-obeyers. But Robotnik's reasoning was that if a badnik doesn't know the laws he disobeys, how was he supposed to know when he'd disobeyed them?
When this failed to get the correct response, the reasoning changed to include the fact that the robots would be combined to make an alarm clock if they didn't get to memorizing. This proved to be effective motivation.
Scratch, being the more intelligent of the two 'bots (but not by much), was more equipped to understand such things; it a fact of life that one often finds themselves enjoying something one understands, some of the more technical terms aside. So it was almost inevitable that he gradually came to find the Mobian legal system fascinating in a kamikaze 'listen to this tidbit of information that I learned all by myself so you know how smaaaart I am' sort of way.
For example, sure, both of them knew about the law that says that no one who disowns a child can ever adopt another. But only Scratch knew the inter-loophole loophole about the disowning being null and void if the child in question is beyond a certain age.
And only Scratch knew that one is not allowed to create weapons of mass destruction without a special permit only obtainable through lots of shouting and yelling behind closed doors.
And only Scratch knew about the special romance laws for robots. This last one he wasn't so proud of, for with them came a niggling point that had been bothering him for a short time.
Like most groups of rules that apply to robots, these special romance ones came as a three. Various amendments and exceptions were hinted at briefly in the footnotes, but for the most part the trio was status quo.
Law #1: Robots cannot be romantically involved with non-robotic creatures.
This was the reasoning for the potential relationship between the pesky hedgehog and Agent Breezie being doomed from the start. The fact that Breezie had circuits and wires whilst the hedgehog had mammal organs, as well as the differing morals and, ahem, "varry-us anat-oh-my issues" as slightly diction-muddled Scratch pronounced it whilst reading aloud, would open far too many cans of worms, so to save everyone's fragile brains it was disallowed.
Law #2: Robots cannot be romantically involved with someone of the same sex as themselves.
A law that appeared to have been applied recently, this was again done to avoid the same scandals that other creatures were put through. Homosexual marriage was a shaky issue on Mobius as it was, currently being legal on one half of the planet and illegal on the other half – indeed, Robotnik once picked up a rumour that 'make it legal worldwide' protests were being organized by Dr Quark and Bigfoot. Bringing robots into the equation would only confuse matters further.
Law #3: Robots cannot be romantically involved with siblings, 'batch buddies' or other familial relations.
This, unlike the others, was the law across the board. It applied to hedgehogs, robots, two tailed foxes – no exceptions. That sort of goings-on, no matter how small or large, always equated much of the world ceasing contact with the couple. No one ever broke that law willingly.
You'd be forgiven for thinking that Scratch wasn't proud of memorizing these 'special rules' because there weren't many scenarios that came about when catching hedgehogs involving having to put them into practice, whereas a lot of times his superior knowledge of Murphy's Law came in very handy indeed.
But there was another reason altogether. It was possible that maybe, perhaps, after thinking for a long time and tossing coins with himself, Scratch had a little bit of a small part of an implication of a full-blown crush on someone.
True, said someone was a robot like him.
But he was a male robot.
He was his brother.
Grounder.
Truth be told, it wouldn't have been an issue were it not for the whole 'male sibling' thing. Scratch knew that. The two of them had been literally together since birth, through good times and bad, through blanket hogging and TV bonding and shared experiences with the inside of certain hedgehog traps.
Even without that background, Scratch knew that the potential was there, especially on the surface. He was quite handsome and well-built, you couldn't deny that. Oh, and Grounder was cute too, in an endearing 'big kid' sort of way.
It was just, as has been mentioned about twice so far, the fact that they were male and that they were brothers that was the problem. It is true, they were badniks, Robotnik badniks at that, and they were designed to openly break laws. But even badniks have their limits. Risking censure and ridicule and open worm cans wasn't worth satisfying and confirming that little wriggly feeling he had in his metal stomach every time Grounder leapt into his arms in foolish fright.
It had looked as though this infatuation was to remain just that.
At least, until right now.
Out of the two, only Scratch knew about the special romance laws, the brain was reminding the body. Not to knock on his crush or anything, but he ... OK, so to knock on his crush: Grounder wouldn't have been able to understand such legalities even if he'd tried with all of his comparative-lack-of-brain.
If the badnik didn't know that there was a law to disobey about this sort of thing, technically he wouldn't know that he was disobeying it.
He'd be safe.
It was almost scary, the rate Scratch was able to piece all of this together. It had only taken him five months to get to that conclusion – he was really becoming quite the little smarty-transistors.
Now all he had to do was go up and confess all to Grounder.
...
Ahem. Now all he had to do was to quietly go up, tap Grounder on the shoulder and confess all.
...
Ahem-hem. Now all he had to do was get out of this little race he had somehow just gotten into with his brother and just tell the robot he crushed on him already!
...
OK. So he was a little chicken. That was to be expected. Robots can only deal with so much per week. (Especially when thinking while driving. How did he end up in second place?)
Besides, it was too late now. They'd already crashed into Robotnik. Crushes had to be put aside while they were getting their parts handed to them in more ways than one.
But he would get it together. He would tell him. He would be brave and admit the truth.
Somehow.
He would get his chance quicker than anyone could have imagined.
"Uh… heh-heh, heh-heh. Hi, your mercifulness. Uh, we were just getting ready to win you the big race today."
"You piston-brains! I've got more important plans than winning that paltry prize. This race will give me the perfect opportunity to get rid of Sonic for good."
"Great! Uh, how are we gonna do it?"
"You? Ha! I'm using professionals this time. I want you two to deliver this to the Porcupine Orphanage, and don't screw up!"
"Who, us? Haha. Screw up? Ha, don't be silly..."