Lance dreams of dying.

He can feel it: the electricity surging through him, setting every cell alight. The emotions-panic, regret, loneliness-all stacked up on each other, so heavy he doesn't think he can bear it. And his heart, seizing, its rhythmic thumping coming to a sudden end.

And then nothing.

Silence, cold, nothing, only this time, it stretches before him and around him and suffocates him. This time Allura isn't there, this time he's really dead-

He jerks awake with a cry, his heart beating so hard and so fast that he's worried it may burst, his breaths rapid and heavy so they make his chest ache, as if this is his body's way of reminding him that he's still alive. He sits up and pulls shaky knees up to his chest and wraps his arms around them, then rests his chin on the back of his hand and forces himself to take deep breaths.

In...2...3...4...5...

Out...2...3...4...5…

It's on the third breath that the tears start. The more he tries to fight them, the worse they get so eventually he just stops trying, letting the snot and tears soak his sleeves. He tries to think of something that will make it better, but that only makes it worse.

Training room to run drills? Oh, that's right. No more Castle.

A glass of milk from his favorite cow? Well, maybe, except that the friendly planet they're staying on put her in a different building, which wouldn't be a problem if temperatures here didn't drop below zero every night, and Lance didn't pack his parka.

And after all of the craziness of the last few days, bothering one of the other Paladins is out of the question. They all need their rest, and there's no reason for him to ruin their sleep.

The panic has subsided. It's loneliness that eats at him now, gnawing away at him. He's sure if he goes on like this much longer, he'll be left hollow and empty, just like the void he-

His thoughts are interrupted by a knock on the door and he jumps nearly out of his skin.

"Uh-" He clears his throat. "Just a second, I'll be right there!"

He swings his legs over the edge of the bed and stands, running the back of his sleeve across before rubbing furiously at his eyes. There's another knock and Lance calls out, "Be right there."

"Hey, Lance."

Keith's voice stops him dead in his tracks.

"Listen, I just, uh...I wanted to…apologize. For, you know…...Lance?"

"Oh, right!" Lance crosses the room and opens the door, and it still startles him how tall Keith is now. "Hey!"

"Hey, Lance." Keith looks uncomfortable, his eyes on the floow, his left hand rubbing at the back of his head. "Look, I was a jerk before. I shouldn't have yelled at you the way I did and I'm sorry."

Lance isn't sure to answer, and even if he did, standing here with Keith in front of him, just the two of them for the first time in too long. It steals the words from his lips.

"Lance?" Keith says, looking up at him for the first time, dark eyes wide and brow pinched with worry. His arm freezes as he takes in Lance's no doubt puffy and bloodshot eyes. "Are you okay?"

Lance responds by launching himself forward, wrapping his arms tightly around Keith and burying his head in the Paladin's shoulder. A moment later, he feels the hug returned, and he almost smiles, would except that there's an icy worry making itself known despite the warmth the embrace brings.

"Don't leave again." His words are muffled, and at first he thinks Keith didn't hear. Then, two gloved hands touch his cheeks and turn his face upward.

Keith stares into his eyes for a long time, and then he says, in a voice barely above a whisper but ever so sure, "Never."

xxx