Losing My Religion
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Author's Note: Handbook is still an ever progressing work but between the discussion on the Yahoo board and the trial that a good friend of mine is currently under going, I've decided to take a stab at a "pedophile" fic. It originally started off as an idea for a one shot, yet as I contemplated the idea more, I decided I needed more. This first chapter will be extremely short as I just begin to explore the plot and ways to approach it. This is roughly based of true events, even more so if I decide to take the root of innocence.
If you read this when I first posted, sorry, somehow the last part didn't save and wasn't uploaded.
This fic is dedicated above all to David "Cubby" Hillenburg, who's fighting a loosing battle he doesn't need to be in. Thanks for always being there, thanks for the climbing and skiing trips and frosties and Prijon stickers. Thanks for your time and dedication for us, for your love. You were and are always there regardless of what kind of harm it put you in.
And happy first night of Chanukah to you all!
Disclaimer: The title of this belongs to REM. I've been a major REM binger for the last few months or so. The chapter title belongs to the band Good Riddance. Disney owns the Ducks.
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Chapter One: Yesterday's Headlines
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The
candle burns the edges fray
Our best intentions waste away
And
everybody loves the things you've done
And on and on and on
Life
appears weightless
For everyone but me
This world grows heavier
everyday
Deterioration
Growing old before my time
Nobody
cares never mind
We all prey on our vain condition
And the
hopelessness of it all
These days there's nothing
We can
trust
The dreams we made we've seen them face
Trampled by
out sad parade
Still we're so pleased with what we've done
And
on and on and I'm done
The mind breaks down when it dies
Our
machines doubled in size
To orchestrate the grand collapse
I
see us all trapped in its path
There was a time we were unbound
As
if we'd never hit the ground
But just like rain we can't keep from
falling
Yesterday's Headlines Good Riddance
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"How could she betray me like that?" The middle aged brunette finally was able to whisper, however hoarsely to himself. Tears that had just begun to mist his eyes and blur his vision minutes ago were now flowing freely down his cheeks, sinking through crevasses to the dry cracks of his lips, salty with infidelity.
As he realized the presence of the drops, he hadn't the energy to wipe them, only enough to question his own stability. He was a forty-seven year old man, a professional lawyer, prestige in the world of hockey, crying. Crying like a little girl.
Mind you he knew his career in hockey was no longer existent. Who would want to associate with a branded pervert, an abuser of power, a threat to the innocence of society. And without a doubt, he'd never be allowed to step foot into the field of youth hockey again.
The only crime he has committed is caring. He wouldn't have any problems if he had avoided his the team, had run them through hockey drills and went home at the end of the day, like he had at first. But as time went on, he didn't. He taught them new games, teamwork, brought them on trips, was there to talk after practice ended, and was there to listen.
She had been so innocent yet so hardened when he first met her. A little girl who had seen hardships far beyond her age. He had given her an escape for that. Her mother was an alcoholic and her father had been driven out by threats of jail time when she was seven, as he was known for ferociously beating his wife. In between her and her three brothers, money was pinched thin. So he'd given extra time devoted to her, so she would have someone to share her woes and troubles to, someone to divulge her dreams with. Someone who'd give her rides to practice and blare the radio and sing along with. When she couldn't afford new gloves when the palms had disappeared making them illegal for play, he got her a new pair and dubbed them an early birthday present.
Eventually she started to grow up, becoming more social with her peers. Her life began to stabilize and she no longer needed Gordon's massive amount of caring, that he was no longer able to provide. He still always had time for her, yet not as much, for his new job required more hours. The bond they had formed, best friends ignoring the age difference, a paternal figure, slowly began to fade away. And as the strong relationship began to weaken, suspicions arose and fingers began to be pointed. The rumours had slowly begun to surface.
Somewhere between then and now a hideous string of events unearthed, entangling everything in their path. He couldn't decipher what had happened or why, it was too bewildering, a puzzle that held an answer he wasn't sure he wanted. The day had drained him, the court appearance too much to muse, an event he didn't want to remember.
Yet at the same time the future held no condolence, it was just as cruel and dark as the past month. As unpredictable and chaotic as a bad horror movie. And he could do nothing to prevent it all from crashing down on him permanently.
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