This one-shot appeared out of nowhere and has now been written. If it looks similar in any way to another idea, it's coincidental. I think. I still don't remember where this idea came from.
Disclaimer: This author doesn't own Harry Potter. Fortunately.
Dean and Seamus ambled down the corridor leading to the History of Magic classroom, mulling over their plan to make the class more interesting. Some people might want to fall asleep during the time it was put into action, but they could if they wanted to. Paying attention to their little stunt wasn't absolutely necessary, though it was preferred.
Once they reached the classroom they took seats in the back. No one else was there yet.
A few minutes later the other students started trickling into the room, a few joining them in the back while most chose a seat near the middle and Hermione dragged her friends to the front row. About fifteen minutes into class, Dean used his wand to levitate a few chairs in the front row, then let them crash to the floor again, causing everyone to wake up. While they were busy looking around for the source of the noise, except for Hermione who had noticed the fallen chairs, Dean took the time to put a Silencing Charm on Binns.
When the class had settled down, noticing the abnormal silence emitting from Binns' mouth, Seamus began to play his part and made his way to the front of the room, where Binns still seemed to believe he was reading aloud. He turned to face the students and clapped his hands. "Good morning class. I will be your substitute teacher for today - Binns hasn't been feeling well and at this point is unfit to teach, as you can see." He indicated the ghost, who was still droning on, or trying to, about a famous witch or wizard who was killed by a Goblin.
Whispers (and in the case of Hermione, furious shouts of protest) swept through the room. "Class is in session, be quiet."
At these words, Dean subtly cast a Silencing Charm on the students, including himself and the so-called substitute teacher.
Seamus picked up a dust-coated stick of chalk and began to write on the board;
Seamus Finnigan
Then turned back to the class, silently speaking to them. "Good day, I am Naginnif Sumaes, you will address me as Professor or Sir. Today we will be looking into the history of the History of Magic class, an interesting topic which I'm sure you will be glad to hear about.
"In times long past, there was another witch or wizard who taught a History of Magic, whose name was a combination of some letters from the alphabet. After reenacting a scene in which a Goblin killed a famous witch or wizard, however, the former teacher passed on when Peeves the Poltergeist dropped a rather sharp and heavy-nibbed quill on his or her head. Let us give a moment of silence for this much more exciting teacher." The already silent room seemed to grow quieter as Seamus closed his mouth before he started to "speak" to them again more than five minutes later.
"Shortly thereafter, this former teacher was replaced by a middle-aged wizard called Professor Binns the Living, who, though less exciting, was able to teach properly. That is to say, he was able to avoid being killed by the Poltergeist.
"However, as he grew older this new teacher became increasingly boring until students could just barely stay awake in his class. He died of old age when he fell asleep by the fire in the staff room at the age of one hundred. The next morning he got up as usual and left his body behind. And so the teacher Binns the Living was replaced by Professor Binns the Dead, who could not keep any students awake in his class except for one, who will go down in history for this act of defiance. She will be discussed among the many generations to come. Any questions?" He was met by an almost deafening silence. "Good. For homework you are to write a one-word essay describing how you imagine the previous witch or wizard who taught this class to have been like. Class dismissed." And with that, he walked back down the aisle and sat down at his desk while Dean reversed the Silencing Charms on everyone.
Except for Binns.
Half of this was written late last night. I don't know why, but I find myself more inspired to write at late hours. :D
I really hope you liked this, it was so much fun to write. It's shorter than I hoped it would be, unfortunately, but that's okay. Speaking of writing, I should probably start updating things. Eh, whatever.
-Kareha