Welcome To My Life, a naruto fanfic

Welcome To My Life

The ultimate music video parody thought of by my friend when I was insulting her favorite song. Savin' Me is about prison sex, so I'm right. I hope you enjoy.

Disclaimer: Naruto belongs to Masashi Kishimoto, and Simple Plan belongs to… Simple Plan, I guess.

"Checking in on traffic on the I-85 leading into the city… Looks like traffic is backed up due to a severe case of EMO…"

Itachi promptly turned the radio station, not really needing anymore pressure than he already has. Itachi woke up late, forgot to put on his nail polish, he's late getting Sasuke to school, and traffic is backed up thanks to a bunch of angsty kids who want to take their own lives but can't do just for the sake of spreading more angst around the world.

He does not want to be late for work because of some crap. If the emo kids really want to die, he'll gladly run them over on his way to work.

And then he heard it. That voice…

"Do you ever feel like breaking down?
Do you ever feel out of place?
Like somehow you just don't belong
And no one understands you"

Itachi looked up from his windshield and saw that Hyuuga boy on the roof of a building. What was his name? Uh, Nazi, Neri, Neji! Neji was on top of a building singing. He's probably the cause of the emo traffic…

"Do you ever wanna run away?
Do you lock yourself in your room?
With the radio on turned up so loud
That no one hears you screaming"

And then, from various cars, the teenagers started to poke their heads out the window and one kid actually got out the car and started walking down the freeway singing along with Neji. Gaara, that's his name.

"No you don't know what it's like
When nothing feels all right
You don't know what it's like
To be like me"

And then more teens proceeded to get out of their cars and walk down the freeway, singing along. Itachi was stupefied; these brats know the song by heart?

"To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked when you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
And no one's there to save you"

And then Itachi looked down the freeway… Was that Gaara behind a drum set? He saw the Neji kid holding what looked like a microphone in his hand. Is Naruto holding a guitar?

"No you don't know what it's like
Welcome to my life"

And then his ultimate fear was confirmed. He didn't hear the car door open and close, but he did see a telltale mop of raven-black hair also go down the freeway. And, that was all it took to make Itachi bang his head on the steering wheel continuously. Wait—Did Neji just give him the other guitar?

"Do you wanna be somebody else?
Are you sick of feeling so left out?
Are you desperate to find something more?
Before your life is over"

Itachi couldn't take it anymore. He didn't remember being this emo when he was younger. If only he could hurt something…

"AH, YOUTH! IT IS SUCH A BEAUTIFUL THING! THE POWER OF YOUTH IS WHAT'S MAKING THESE YOUTHFUL TEENAGERS SING FROM BOTTOM OF THEIR YOUTHFUL LUNGS!" Gai proclaimed, posing on top of his green car while rainbows, happiness, and forest creatures surrounded him and then the sun started setting, when it was NINE O'CLOCK IN THE MORNING.

Itachi can't take that much happiness this early in the morning. He got out his car and slapped Gai as hard as possible, got back into his car and proceeded to continue banging his head on the steering wheel.

"WHYbang DOESbang THISbang ALWAYSbang HAPPENbang TObang ME! bangbangbangbangbang"

"Are you stuck inside a world you hate?
Are you sick of everyone around?
With their big fake smiles and stupid lies
While deep inside you're bleeding"

Itachi's forehead was bleeding at this point, so he took one of Sasuke's queer headbands that he collects for some odd reason. He gave Itachi one, but someone at work accidentally scratched it, so now there's a big line going through the leaf design.

"No you don't know what it's like
When nothing feels all right
You don't know what it's like
To be like me"

Well, they've got to stop at some point. So Itachi just turned on the radio.

That was playing the same exact song that was enticing all the teenagers and it continued where Itachi stopped listening.

"To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked when you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
And no one's there to save you
No you don't know what it's like
Welcome to my life"

"GOD, PLEASE STOP IT!" Itachi yelled, making everyone in the cars stop listening to the song and look at him.

"No one ever lied straight to your face
And no one ever stabbed you in the back
You might think I'm happy but I'm not gonna be okay
Everybody always gave you what you wanted
You never had to work it was always there
You don't know what it's like, what it's like"

"You've got to admit, they sure can sing." Itachi nearly had a heart-attack to see Kakashi sitting in the passenger seat of his car, reading his porn.

"Why are you in my car?" Itachi asked calmly, using what was left of his willpower to not kill Kakashi. Kakashi just shrugged.

"You're late for work. I'm late for work. We've got so much in common, so I just wanted to keep you company." Kakashi said, grinning under his face cloth.

"You're always late for work though." Itachi pointed out. Kakashi just waved his hand towards the still singing band that had every teenager who was in the car surrounding them, singing along.

"And your brother's an emo. Along with your cousin." Kakashi said back, Itachi glaring at him.

"To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked when you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down"

Itachi was seriously considering running over those emo brats. Kakashi didn't bother him, so he couldn't kill Kakashi. Damn.

"And no one's there to save you
No you don't know what it's like (what it's like)"

Why wasn't he singing? This song seemed like it was made for him… Oh wait, Itachi wasn't emo, he couldn't sing with them…

Itachi was Goth.

Oh thank you GOD, they were done! Everyone in the surrounding cars started applauding. Even Itachi had to clap, it was OVER! He turned the radio on the radio to hear the traffic report.

"Well, that little performance is over… But it's gonna take at least three hours for traffic to get moving at a decent speed. So, why not pass the time with that hit song that was played on that very freeway?" The radio DJ chirped happily. Itachi groaned and when Sasuke got back in the car, he found his older brother slamming his head on the steering wheel.

"Aniki, you are so emo."

END

It's over. Yays, Itachi crack/angst for the soul. I hope you enjoyed.