Author's Note: I do not own Shingeki no Kyojin or any of its respective characters and am in no ways affiliated with its creator, Isayama Hajime-sensei, bless him. These stories are written for entertainment purposes only and I am in no way profiting from them in any financial terms whatsoever. This will be a triptych of individual stories set in chronological order, each told in the perspective of each of the Shiganshina trio members.
I wrote the first two chapters ages before Chapter 54 and 55 came out which I guess is more than enough to explain government-involved situations. I'm as lazy as a teenager in the heat of a tropical summer sun could get so…
Some Headcanon to assist in reading this (or not – Spoilers Alert!): Erwin dies (sorry, I like him a lot [do you know he's actually based on a Watchmen character!?] but unfortunately, I like lemony plot twists more because as proven by indulging in the Levetra fandom [I REGRET NOTHING], there're no such things as overly-abused feels) on the way to The Basement (which contains several samples of the Titan-Shifting serum Eren's father used on Eren and exact instructions on how to make them, along with the rest of the stolen memories that he didn't inject into his son [see his "Their memories will help you..." speech on Episode 2 and the girl Eren sees in the mirror on Chapter 53 who suspiciously looks like the woman who took Historia's memories on Chapter 54]. Of course, Reiner and Bertolt had already taken and destroyed them before Squad Levi arrived: thanks for the terrific induction speech, Danchou! They had, however, left the formula for the antidote untouched [I'm still coming up with a reason why] and the Recon Corps, specifically Hange, took advantage of this) and Hange (who dies in the Last Battle – yes, I love her to bits but sacrifices must be made for changes to take place and no, I'm not this heartless in real life, trust me) pressures Levi (I'm sparing him so kindly cancel any plans you have that involve killing me in the slowest way possible) to fill the Commander's boots on their return.
Levi takes Armin (whom they would later on unanimously elect as the leader of the former Special Ops Squad now the Exploration Squad – Levi joins them of course, they're his family [I want there to be a chapter and/or, preferably and, episode where he cries it all out and after that, I wanna freakin' drown him in happiness because this man deserves it more than words could ever say]) with him as his squad's Chief Counselor (because Armin Arlert deserves hundred times more the appreciation he is currently receiving) but everyone else stays on the former Squad Levi, now Squad Mikasa (because who else should take charge of a group whose mission is to keep Eren from getting a single scratch on him?). Jean is Vice-Captain, in case Mikasa-heichou (dang, that sounds good!) ever gets too fond of and/or loses her head over Eren in a mission.
Mikasa gets injured in rescuing Levi in the Last Battle against Annie the same way Levi got injured rescuing Mikasa in their First Expedition against Annie (because I believe in destiny), only she injures both legs (he on the other hand loses an arm like Erwin in pushing her away from danger) which explains why she's in crutches (don't worry, she'll get better; Levi gets a left arm made of steel). Also Ymir got hurt real badly in protecting Historia and she was mistakenly shot with the antidote before she had enough time to heal.
Flutter
Armin gulped dryly, trying not to let his fingers inch their way upwards to loosen the collar of his shirt which was starting to stick to his neck in nervous sweat. They were standing at the gate of Shiganshina, the one that Bertolt had broken down with a single kick almost six years ago, changing everybody's lives forever. Behind Armin was a swarm of commoners who had been whispering diabolically to one another as the traitors made their way to the gate and were now watching them a good distance away with taut, nervous anticipation. Across him were the Shifters who had infiltrated the wall five years ago; facing them with equal silence and standing next to him were his comrades, grim and rigid. The stuffy mid-afternoon air dripped with tension. Everything about this, from the heat of the sun to the expressions of the people in front of him to how tense everyone beside him was only reflected the mantra that had been going on his head ever since they had agreed to do this: This is a bad idea.
He swallowed as quietly as he could, trying to moisten his dry, dry throat and to distract himself from the murmurs of the crowd and the suffocating atmosphere, he looked to his right over Levi's head to take a glance at Eren.
His best friend stood stiff and still, his would have been respectful posture betrayed by his clenched fists, which were shaking violently in restraint which Armin was sure wouldn't even be there if the brunet only had his way. His nails dug to the palm of his hands so hard that they were bleeding and, as if Eren suddenly found a way to pluck mental suggestions of the people around him out of the air, Armin tried hard not to think if he was doing it so that he could transform in a matter of seconds to crush the people in front of him or if it was just a way to vent out his wrath. Passionate emerald orbs eyed the vicinity with a burning hot, almost tangible hatred that could make anybody run for the hills in seconds. Armin prayed that Eren would hold on to his sanity for just a little longer.
Besides Eren stood Mikasa, and although he couldn't see her past Eren, Armin knew what she looked like: straight as a pin even in crutches and only years of knowing her would have made her clouded obsidian eyes make sense to an observer. Her lips were surely set tight over stiffly clenched teeth and her fists were balled and set, ready to let fly a punch whenever needed. These were the people, after all, who made Eren hurt so much, who took almost everything away from him and whatever it was that discomforted her Eren would always end up as bloody pulp in her hands. Her glare would be mostly fixed on Annie, always returning to her after its periodical rovings and again, Armin tried hard not to read into his theories too much although there was a 90% chance that this was all true.
Next to Mikasa was Sasha who was undoubtedly not angered, but confused as she stared at the people who had been a part of her life as a Trainee, the ones she worked on group activities with, the ones she dined with, the ones she shared the little triumphs, pains and joys of daily life with for two years, who, just six months ago, revealed themselves to be murderers. After the initial negotiations, Armin had explained to Levi and Squad Mikasa two nights ago that it wasn't their fault, that they had been forcibly torn away from their families and weren't allowed to return until they had Eren, that they truly didn't want to hurt anyone, they just wanted to go home. He knew they understood, but weren't emotionally ready to, and although he tried his very best, he was as just as lost in the dark as they were.
Connie stood next to Sasha and Armin knew he was the most conflicted: he had anger, he had pain, he had confusion and he couldn't decide which of these were to reign his heart. There was rage for the ones responsible for his family's death, there was hurt for the two years he spent with friends who suddenly revealed themselves to be the cause of humanity's misery and then there was the plain confusion on why he wasn't able to hate them even though he was supposed to. Why did it have to be them and us, he had asked after Armin's explanation. Why did they have to be the ones who were forced to do things against their will and why was everyone forced to choose between who was more important among their loved ones? Nobody had answered him. No one knew how.
To Armin's left stood Historia, staring straight ahead with her thoughts far, far away from the people in front of her. He had a fierce battle against the majority of the populace at court just yesterday to stop Shifter prosecution, suggesting the relocation of the Shifters (save for Eren who defeated the Ape Titan with his bare hands) and that a member of each side would no longer be allowed to coexist in a five mile radius to prevent any scuffles for the next thousand years when, hopefully, all of humanity forgets that there ever had been any Titans. Both sides agreed but when Historia learned of this, she begged him to exclude her and Ymir but there were to be no exceptions and there was nothing he could do. This was when Levi stepped up and said that Ymir was to be allowed to stay with them until her final breath, and because it was Levi, the commander who freed all of humanity, they were forced to agree. Armin was sure she was counting the seconds until she could be with Ymir and then, together, wait for the inevitable end.
On Historia's other side was Jean, silent and rigid and Armin couldn't guess what he could be thinking. He hadn't said a word since the day before yesterday, a characteristic that just wasn't Jean at all. Jean was precise and calculating: the least he could have possibly done during the writing of the treaty was to voice out what was in his head no matter how unlikely the chance that anyone was going to listen to him but he hadn't. He had stood over them like he was standing now, quiet, with a poker face Armin never knew he had but his eyes were downcast as if meeting any of his old friends' gazes would burn him. Was he hurt? Confused? Was it because he was fully aware of the two sides of the whole story along with the fact that he could accept both? Was he afraid of the fact that although unwilling to, he could? Armin didn't know. He wasn't sure he wanted to.
And to Armin's right was Levi, still straight and stiff and formal, still unreadable, still overflowing with self-control. At least Armin hoped that he was. In the six months that he had been a part of his squad, Levi kept proving himself surprising and the younger man had long given up on trying to know all there was to him. But the fact that he was in front of the Shifters, the traitors, the enemy– the people who robbed him of his loved ones and his people – that alone was more than enough to make Armin start choking from the tension. His Danchou had self-control, sure, but what if, after years and years of holding it all in and suppressing his emotions, he snapped? Another war would start and then what? He wasn't sure if he was just imagining that the air around him was getting colder and heavier by the second, only magnifying how hot and dry his throat felt.
It had been the king's orders that the soldiers, especially the remaining members of the Recon Corps, were to be present at the send-off to ensure that there were no hard feelings and to settle any old grudges between the two camps. As ifhehad any grudges, Armin thought miserably. As ifhelost anything important to him, as ifhehad to choose who he could save, as ifhe ever experienced any of our pain or theirs…It wasn't a common occurrence for him to badmouth authorities even in his head but after everything he had been through, after all the terror, all the Titans, all the corpses he had to deal with, it was difficult not to. The king wears no clothes.He had raised an eyebrow and tilted his head to the side the first time he heard his grandfather tell the tale but now that he understood what it meant, he wondered if banning the ancient stories, the ones that were older than the Walls, had anything to do with the royalties.
Besides, what were they expecting? A group hug? A teary farewell with promises of a picnic reunion in a meadow full of flowers and butterflies and sunshine in a few year's time? How naïve could the government possibly get, to think that this would be easy for any of them, the soldiers, the victims, the survivors of a loveless war? Armin thought that he and the others would be lucky if they got out of there alive: the best condition they could be in after the other side's departure would probably be mangled with deep cuts and black eyes, the ground slick and red with blood from both sides.
Well, look at the bright side,he thought. At least Eren hasn't opened his mouth yet.His fingers flexed with tension at the very thought, more than ready to clamp a hand over his best friend's mouth at a moment's notice.
They had been given ten minutes before the gates were to open and shut but five have already passed and still no one had moved a muscle. Only five more to go, he thought, five more and then they would be spared from all their misery. Five more and he would never see them again but was that a good thing? He wanted to talk to them, to assure them that they were forgiven, to get rid of the dark weight on his heart, to know for sure that they would get the happiness they undoubtedly deserved.
There was a shout from behind them and before he knew what was going on, a child had pushed her way between their legs and ran to the other side. He moved reflexively, lunging his arms forward to stop her but it was too late. She was running, running beyond the front line of the people in front of them to someone in the middle of the cluster and now she leapt forward, wrapping her arms around the neck of a Shifter boy, probably no more than twelve years old, who cradled her in his arms as she cried. "Nii-san, don't leave me! You can't go, you can't, you just can't!"
Nothing else existed except the girl, her wails painfully piercing the air, and the dark-haired young man, stroking her short blond hair, tears dripping on his face. "Nii-san needs to go now," he muttered, and Armin thought he felt something stab at his chest. "Big brother needs to go to keep Rosie safe."
"But it's not fair!" she protested, pounding on his shoulders with all her might, her screams getting shriller and louder. "It's not fair! You promised you'll always be there for me, you promised!" He buried his face in her hair and whispered things that only she could hear and in seconds, she quieted down but the spasms of pain that racked her shoulders didn't lessen.
Soon enough, a few drops, a trickle, and then an entire stream of people moved forward, some cautiously, some eagerly, to say their final goodbyes to the people who had been a part of them. Couples embraced each other for the last time. Friends clapped each other on the shoulders struggling to hold back the tears. A child clung to his sobbing mother, making her promise him sweets and toys when she came back. Armin wanted to join them, to say sorry, to thank, to wish them luck in the next stage of their life, but his feet felt like lead and his head was a dizzy whirl. None of the three people he knew among the Shifters made any action to indicate they noticed the sudden change of the crowd surrounding them and time was running out.
He was so absorbed in his thoughts that he didn't notice Eren move forward, stopping exactly halfway between his side and theirs. Armin held his breath, his mind racing to think of what it was Eren was going to say and the possible words he could use to counter them but they were inexplicably replaced with a panicked Oh no. Oh no, oh no, oh no, don't say anything Eren, shut up, pleasejustshut up, oh no, oh no, oh no.The distant rumbling of the voices around them faded into nonexistence until there was nothing but Eren's clear, steady voice. "Bertolt," he said. "The last time we talked, I promised that I would kill you in the slowest, most painful way possible."
Everything that went whizzing through Armin's head at a million miles a second came to a standstill as time started to blur and curve around Eren's words. For a moment, he was grateful that none of them had their 3DMG on, but his momentary comfort was squelched when he remembered the way Eren had been clenching his fists. Time stood perfectly still and he was vaguely aware of his taut muscles, tense and fueled with adrenaline like never before.
And then Eren did the unthinkable. "I take it all back," he said, and his hand stretched towards Bertolt.
Armin stood there, the impact of what Eren said knocking the air off his lungs leaving him dizzy but his shock surely was nothing compared to Bertolt's. Beside him, Annie eyes widened, her lips parted in shock and Reiner stared at Eren as if he had never seen him before. And then, slowly, as if in a dream, Bertolt took a step forward, and another, and another, until his hand was firmly clasped in Eren's. They wordlessly nod to each other before letting go.
What happened?Armin thought. Eren... I thought... I thought...
A flash of gold gleamed at the corner of Armin's eye and he turned his head to find Historia embracing Reiner with Sasha standing next in line. Mikasa was tersely shaking hands with Annie with Eren behind her, patiently waiting for his turn and Connie and Jean were with Bertolt, saying something about the weather and going out for drinks the next time they met. Only he and Levi stood unchanging, taking in everything in front of them.
Bertolt was one of the best among Armin's many tutored students and in exchange for an understood lesson, he would accompany Armin each time he visited the library and take out all the books he needed that happened to be placed on the high shelves; who cares if he was shy? And Reiner had been his older brother, offering help and training, doing his best not to lighten his burdens but to give him additional strength and support to help him grow on his own. And Annie… she was the one he sat next to in class and spent quiet times in the library with, the one who, although cold, was never cruel, expressing her care in a way only he had understood. They've almost never talked but they had been together and that was more than enough for him.
Before Armin knew it, she was in his arms. His feet had carried him forward and now he felt her stiffen before melting against him, wrapping him up in an equally tight embrace. He had always wanted to do that, he realized. He wanted her to feel safe and sound and now, he couldn't think of anything but being happy that from here on out, that was all there was left for his friend. There were tears in her eyes when he pulled away and something on her lips that might have been a smile. "Good luck Annie," he said. She whispered, "Thank you," and he smiled as he wiped her away tears.
He shook hands with Bertolt, telling him to take good care of Annie (and making it a point to look innocent when the latter blushed) and then with Reiner, who clapped him on the shoulder and said, "I'm proud of you, Armin."
And then, the bells began to ring. There was a short struggle, a final clinging, before everyone was forced to retreat to their respectful sides. Armin saw the three cluster together, seemingly arguing if they should or shouldn't do something. When they turned to face humanity for the final time, Annie had a bouquet of a dozen perfect white roses bunched together in a pearly white ribbon in her arms. She walked, hesitating, towards him, and he thought that the flowers were meant for him before she stopped in front of Levi.
Apparently, his Danchou's mind had been somewhere else because his head snapped up at the sight of her boots to rest, puzzled, on her gift. They were fragrant roses, the kind that actually bloomed and made you feel happy as you looked at them before having to wilt away and die and she was wordlessly giving them to him. It was obviously a peace offering but something nagged Armin at the back of his mind as to why she chose for him to have it, a doubt that he was certain shouldn't even be there in the first place. Was it because he was the captain of all soldiers, or was it because of a more personal reason, such as, perhaps, an apology, a personal one? He was an inch away from the conclusion but Levi lifted his eyes to meet her similarly grey ones and he lost it. She flinched, almost invisibly, and her gaze didn't quiver but there was a shift in the way she stood that made her look smaller as if overcome by… what? Guilt? Grief? Regret? A mixture of the three?
Levi stared at her for a few more seconds as the gates began to lift. Soon enough she will have to turn her back on them and leave forever so why wasn't he taking them yet? Armin could see her hesitate, pondering if she should turn around and walk away when Levi lifted both hands and held on to hers for a split-second before taking the roses. He bowed his head to her, and she returned the gesture and somehow, the air around them became a bit lighter, still broken, but not as heavy, not as shattered as before. Somehow they had understood each other, whatever it was that the gestures and unwavering eye contact meant, and Armin felt as if though they mutually made each others lives a little easier.
He watched them as they left, oblivious to everything else in the world but their retreating backs. And then, as if overcome by some unspoken agreement, he and his squad mates tucked their left fists behind their backs and let the right rest against their beating hearts, performing a final salute, a final goodbye to their comrades and friends.