Lelouch: The World's Most Clumsy Gentleman

by Windrises

Lelouch tries to be a heroic gentleman to C. C. However, his immaturity and lack of carefulness get in the way, making him question if he's a hopeless case.

Note: Code Geass is an anime, that was done by the studio Sunrise.

Lelouch Lamperouge was in a crummy mood. He looked at the mirror and scowled at his reflection. He was mad at himself, for failing to stop Princess Cornelia. Once again, Cornelia had defeated Lelouch, which made him feel like a failure. Lelouch spent several minutes in his room. While there, he whined and threw objects across the room.

After making his bedroom a bigger mess than usual, he flung the door open and started storming into the kitchen. He tried to open a bag of cookies, but he slipped and dropped the cookies into a ketchup puddle, that was on the floor.

Lelouch was still tempted to eat the cookies, but C. C. came by and asked, "What are you up to?"

Lelouch said, "I don't think putting cookies in ketchup is a bad idea."

C. C. folded her arms and asked, "What's going on with you?"

Lelouch had a confused look on his face, while asking, "What are you talking about?"

C. C. answered, "While you were in your bedroom, I heard you doing an angry rant and I heard you throw things across the room. You're mad about Cornelia beating your team, aren't you?"

Lelouch sighed and replied, "You could say that. Me and the Black Knights are supposed to be the ultimate combo, but we've been failing, for months." He sighed again and said, "It's time to stop denying obvious facts. It's time to embrace the truth: I'm a lousy leader."

C. C. knew Lelouch had lots of problems, but she also believed in his potential. She shook her head and responded, "You aren't a lousy leader. You're the most wonderful guy, that I've ever met."

Lelouch's anger turned into confusion, while asking, "Really?"

C. C. nodded and said, "Lelouch, you're the first person, that's shown me true love. You're love is a never-ending gift, for my heart. I hope you feel the same way about me."

Lelouch blurted out, "You're the best thing in my life!" He quickly blushed with embarrassment, while a smile came upon his face. He tried to retain his dignity, by straightening his shirt collar and saying, "You play a rather essential role in my life, is what I should of said."

C. C. hugged Lelouch, while replying, "You're such a cutie patootie."

Lelouch was getting even more embarrassed, so he stubbornly responded, "No, I'm an edgy, hardcore hipster, who's mysterious and gothic." Lelouch tried to make a lot of cool poses, so he'd seem like some kind of action hero, but C. C. wasn't convinced.

C. C. replied, "Lelouch, you don't have to pretend, to be more daring and adventurous than you actually are. You're the person my heart treasures most, so I just want you to be yourself, always."

Lelouch said, "Thank you, honey. That means a lot to me." C. C. kissed him. Afterwards, Lelouch said, "You've done so much for me, that I want to do you a favor. However, I don't want you to give me a mundane request, like brush my teeth or clean the kitchen's messes. I want a request, that sends me on an adventure. I want something daring. Give me something, that you normally think I couldn't accomplish."

C. C. replied, "There is one thing, that I'd like to request from you."

Lelouch felt heroic, while putting his hands on his chin, slipping on a cape, and saying, "I'm ready for anything, that you want me to do."

C. C. replied, "I want you, to get me some pizzas."

Lelouch had a confused look on his face, while asking, "What are you talking about? Pizzas aren't an epic adventure. It's just a type of food, that you eat ten of, per week."

C. C. replied, "I'm aware of that, but you asked me to assign you something, that I wouldn't normally think you could accomplish. Usually, when I have you get us food, you end up dropping it or throwing it at Suzaku. Since you want a challenge, I assigned you the pizza mission."

Lelouch said, "No offense, but that doesn't sound like a very epic mission."

C. C. replied, "Maybe not, but getting pizza would make me happy. Don't you want to see me smile?"

Lelouch blurted out, "I've never seen a more beautiful sight, than your gorgeous smile!" He blushed again, while saying, "I'm acting like a fool."

C. C. shook her head and replied, "No, you're acting adorably precious." Lelouch continued blushing, while C. C. admired the view of Lelouch's red face.

Lelouch said, "Anyways, I better get the pizzas." He threw the cape off and put on a jacket.

C. C. shyly asked, "Aren't you going to kiss me goodbye?"

Lelouch said, "Eh, I don't feel like it." C. C. made a pouty face. Lelouch gave C. C. a kiss on the lips, which made her smile.

Lelouch went into his car and drove to a nearby pizza place. After prancing inside, he looked around and saw that there was a big line. He shook his fist at the line, while saying, "You've gotta be kidding me. There's about a dozen people here." Lelouch wasn't a very patient person, so he decided to cut in line.

Suzaku Kururugi walked inside and saw that Lelouch was cutting ahead. He grabbed Lelouch and put him at the end of the line. He asked, "What's wrong with you, Lelouch? Can't you be a patient guy?"

Lelouch had an amused look on his face, while saying, "I didn't know you were the pizza place's security guard."

Suzaku folded his arms and replied, "You act so childish."

Lelouch stubbornly responded, "That's not true. I'm super mature and I know tons of stuff."

Suzaku sarcastically said, "You're the fountain of knowledge, Mr. Lamperouge." Lelouch nodde. Suzaku said, "Even though you're so filled with knowledge, there is one piece of information, that I must tell you about."

Lelouch asked, "What is it?"

Suzaku answered, "You're not going to cut your way, to the end of the line. You're going to wait your turn and if you try anything sneaky, I'll stop you."

Lelouch smirked and said, "Sheesh Suzaku, don't you have a social life?"

Suzaku sighed and replied, "Not really. Most of my friends avoid me, because I'm so obsessed with the rules."

Lelouch put his arm around Suzaku and responded, "Even though that's true, you do have me. We're close friends."

Suzaku replied, "I guess that's true."

Lelouch responded, "Since I'm your closest friend, you shouldn't be giving me a hard time. Instead, you should be letting me cut in line."

Suzaku sighed and replied, "Very well then."

Lelouch danced to the front of the line. An angry customer saw that Lelouch was about to cut in front of him, so he punched Lelouch in the face, which made him pass out.

By the time Lelouch woke up, most of the line had left. When he finally got to his turn, the pizza employee asked, "What do you want?"

Lelouch answered, "Three pizzas."

The employee replied, "Considering how skinny you are, I recommend eating every bite."

Lelouch sighed and asked, "How much does it cost?"

The employee answered, "Thirty dollars."

After screaming a bunch of curse words, Lelouch asked, "Why does it cost so much?"

The employee said, "Ten dollars, per pizza. Considering how decent our pizzas taste, you couldn't ask for a better deal."

Lelouch replied, "This sounds like a major ripoff, but I'd do anything for my girlfriend."

The employee responded, "I'd do anything, to hear you shut up and give me the money." The employee was acting like a jerk, because he had more customers, to deal with, than usual.

Lelouch sarcastically said, "This place has amazing customer service." He angrily handed the money to the employee. The employee threw the pizzas, which Lelouch caught.

Lelouch had to go to the bathroom, so he ran to the restroom. While in there, he accidentally dropped the pizzas into the toilet. He sighed and flushed them down the drain.

Meanwhile, Diethard Ried was roaming around the sewer, to find a news camera, that he had accidentally threw down a sewer drain. While looking around, he saw the pizzas. Diethard put his hand on his chin, while saying, "Those pizzas look disgusting. If I can find my news camera, I can broadcast me eating them. That way, my ratings would go up."

Lelouch returned to the front of the line. The employee, that he had previously ordered from, left for the day. Lelouch had a relieved look on his face, because he thought if he was ordering from another employee, he wouldn't have to explain what happened to his previous order. He took a closer look at the new employee and saw that is was Kallen, one of the members of the Black Knights.

Lelouch had a shocked look on his face, while facing Kallen, and asking, "What are you doing?"

Kallen answered, "I needed more money, so I got a new job."

Lelouch replied, "I came to order some pizzas."

Kallen responded, "Hey, I saw you order three pizzas. That was a few minutes ago. What happened to them?"

Lelouch had an embarrassed look on his face, while saying, "I flushed them down the toilet."

Kallen facepalmed and replied, "You need to become more careful, Lelouch."

Lelouch responded, "I know. I want to be a more reliable and cooler person, so I can earn C. C.'s respect. Anyways, can I have three replacement pizzas?"

Kallen answered, "Sure, if you pay thirty-dollars."

Lelouch asked, "What are you talking about? I already bought three pizzas, which me and C. C. didn't get to eat any of."

Kallen folded her arms and replied, "Frankly, it's your fault, for being so clumsy."

Lelouch responded, "Very well then." Lelouch paid Kallen and grabbed the pizzas. He looked down and realized, that he needed to tie his shoes. He put the pizzas on the ground and started tying his shoes.

The janitor walked by and saw three boxes of pizza, which were on the floor. He said, "They're probably empty boxes, that somebody wants me to throw away." He grabbed the pizzas and threw them into a garbage bag.

Lelouch looked at the janitor and said, "Hey, you threw my dinner in the garbage." The janitor nervously laughed and started running away, while Lelouch scowled at him.

Lelouch walked back to Kallen and said, "I'll have three more pizzas."

Kallen handed them to Lelouch and replied, "You've spent ninety-dollars on pizza, so you better start enjoying your dinner."

Lelouch responded, "I'll try." He wasn't paying much attention, while walking out of the pizza shop. Because of that, he bumped into a guy. Lelouch took a closer look at the guy and saw that he had some of the biggest muscles, that Lelouch had ever laid eyes on.

The muscle guy had an intimidating look on his face, while asking, "Why did you bump into me? Were you trying to fight me?"

Lelouch nervously replied, "Not at all. I was just trying to leave and I wasn't paying much attention, to where I was going."

The muscle guy responded, "Since you did something disrespectful, I've gotta teach you a lesson. In return, for inconveniencing me, I'm going to do the same to you, you punk." He grabbed Lelouch's pizzas and stomped on them. Afterwards, he stuffed some pizza into Lelouch's hair, while saying, "I hope you like your new hairdo, you freak."

After taking some selfies of his new hair, Lelouch took the pizza out of hair and returned to Kallen. He ordered three more pizzas.

Lelouch went into his car, while saying, "Since I finally got the pizzas, I better get them to C. C. Despite wasting a bunch of money, she might be proud of my success."

After driving around for a few minutes, Lelouch opened one of the pizza boxes, so he could view and smell his and C. C.'s dinner. Lelouch saw, that one of the pizzas came with a box of raisins. He was so grossed-out, because of the raisins, that he started driving poorly. He almost crashed into several cars. In order to protect himself and others, Lelouch tried to drive off the road. He realized he was getting too close, to the edge of a cliff, so he jumped out of his car. The car fell off the cliff and sank into the ocean, along with the pizzas.

Lelouch was so ashamed of himself, that he didn't bother going home. He went to a nearby rest-area and moped around. He put his hand over his face, while saying, "C. C. deserves a real man. She deserves someone, who can easily get her dinner and stuff like that. I thought I was just a failure, but frankly, I think failures look good, compared to me."

A few minutes later, Suzaku drove to the rest-area, to wash his hands. After doing that, he saw that Lelouch was there, so he walked to him and asked, "What's going on?" Lelouch told Suzaku what happened. Suzaku asked, "Do you want a lift home?"

Lelouch shook his head and answered, "I shouldn't be relying on you, for such things."

Suzaku said, "Since you didn't have dinner, I should at least give you a snack." He pulled a box of raisins, out of his jacket.

Lelouch saw the box of raisins. He had a horrified look on his face, while saying, "No raisins!"

Despite how immature Lelouch had been acting, Suzaku still felt sorry for him, so he texted C. C. and her what was happening. After saying goodbye to Lelouch, he drove away.

A short time later, C. C. arrived. She ran to Lelouch and said, "Honey, it's time to go home."

Lelouch replied, "C. C., how did you find me?"

C. C. explained, "Suzaku told me."

Lelouch put his hand over his face, while saying, "Whenever I have a problem, I rely on you and Suzaku, to make the problem go away. I've never do anything, without your help."

C. C. replied, "That's not true, darling. You took over for the Black Knights, defeated Prince Clovis, saved dozens of lives, and won my heart. On those capers, the Black Knights did some of the work, but most of it came from you. I know you're not perfect. In fact, there are times where you act childish and immature. However, that doesn't change the fact, that you're the charming, groundbreaking individual, that made me appreciate the gift of life. No matter how many pizzas you drop and no matter how much money you waste, I'm always going to love you."

Lelouch felt a sense of relief, from hearing C. C.'s kind words. He walked closer to her, while asking, "Do you really think, that I'm worth loving?"

C. C. replied, "If I'm worth loving, so are you. We're equals. We both embarrassing flaws, but we also have amazing things to offer. Instead of being ashamed of your mistakes, how about embracing what you're great at?"

Lelouch asked, "What am I great at?"

C. C. smirked and replied, "You're great at showing appreciation, to your loving girlfriend."

Lelouch responded, "Maybe I am great, at doing that." He hugged C. C. He was so appreciative of C. C., for making him feel like his life was worthwhile, that he gave her an extra-long hug. C. C. didn't mind that, at all.

After Lelouch thanked C. C., they went into C. C.'s car and drove home. They started eating some pizza, while sitting on the couch and watching a Batman film.

During the film, C. C. started yawning. Lelouch overheard that, so he said, "I'll tuck you into bed."

C. C. replied, "Come on, Lelouch. I don't need help with that."

Lelouch said, "Let me be the type of gentleman, that I should of been acting like."

After C. C. changed into her pajamas, Lelouch picked her up and put her in bed. Lelouch laid on the bed, just so he could feel how comfy it is. He said, "Wow, this is comfier than my bed." He continued laying on the bed, while saying, "I should get up, in a moment or two. I just want to feel this soft mattress."

C. C. replied, "Take as much time as you want, Lelouch." Lelouch kept thinking about getting up, but he was too distracted by the softness of the bed. A few minutes later, he fell asleep. C. C. laid by him, while whispering, "Goodnight, my gentleman." She kissed him and turned off a lamp. Sleeping by Lelouch's side was the most gentle feeling, that C. C.'s heart had ever felt.