Author: Emmie
Title: Breakdown
Fandom: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Pairing(s): Xander/Giles
Rating: PG
Continuity: Immediately after Where The Wild Things Are.
Disclaimer: Not mine, don't sue, plzthx.

Summary: Xander can't sleep.

Xander turned onto his side, pulling his blanket a bit tighter around him. His bedside clock informed him that it was exactly four nineteen in the morning. He imagined it was laughing at him. "Shut up," he muttered at the appliance. "Stupid clock."

He rolled back onto his back, out of the clock's mocking gaze, and sighed in frustration. Mindlessly, he hummed a bit of a familiar tune that he really wished would get out of his head.

He was annoyed. Annoyed that he couldn't sleep, and moreso, annoyed at why he couldn't sleep. After all, he had a right to his insomnia. Possessed houses with ghosts in the bathtub and angry viney things – that was scary shit, enough to keep anyone up at night. He had earned a sleepless night or three, damn it, so most of all, he was annoyed that he was lying there feeling guilty about not being able to sleep because, well, it wasn't exactly anything Hellmouthy that was keeping him up, was it?

Well, actually, Xander still had his doubts about that. Possession, maybe. What else made an otherwise sane, respectable Watcher type decide to get onstage and channel his inner god of classic rock. Xander shivered, thinking about it. It wasn't exactly a shiver of fear – and that was precisely the problem.

Xander was as secure in his sexuality as the next guy. That is to say: not very. Still, he could admit when another man was attractive. He could even admit (to himself, at least), that this wasn't the first time that thoughts of another guy had followed him to bed.

That was the problem, really. This wasn't a guy. This was Giles. The man was older, and his teacher…well, all right, former libratian, but…and straight, and wait, why did that even matter, since Xander was straight himself, and these were just idle thoughts? Anyway, the point was, they were wrong thoughts, icky thoughts, and in between berating himself for even having them, Xander was enjoying them immensely.

"Fuck," he said aloud, rolling back onto his side rather violently. "I am not having a crush on Giles."

Whatever lies will help you sleep, the clock seemed to say.