Cueball.
By: Psuriko
Disclaimer: "Cueball" is based upon "Goldie Lock and the three little bears", while Ranma ½ is created by Rumiko Takahashi, so I won't make any kind of profit except maybe entertain a few readers.
Author's note: Weirdness may occur in this story.
Once upon a time in a land in a different reality far far away, pretty close to you actually, lived three siblings in a chabby but comfortable apartment in the suburban.
"Curse you Nabiki!" the youngest Tendodaughter frowned. "Why we had to rent a lousy shack like this. " Akane continued as she cracked another saucepan in the kitchen that also served as a makeshift mini-dojo for the youngest Tendo.
"But Akane dear, don't bring up that again." The oldest Tendodaughter Kasumi said soothing to avoid letting her younger sister destroy even more kitchen items.
"Well Akane, we would have recieved a better apartment if you weren't so persistent to cook a dinner for the manager!" Nabiki retaliated. "Because of that he ended up at the local hospital about months! Do you even know how low he was going to lower the monthly rent? 253 yen!"
"But.. but he must eaten something bad before that." Akane excused. The older sister grew sick of this ongoing dispute and left through the door and went to her new work: expensive lawer of a big company shoruded in mystery, or so Nabiki claims.
After Nabiki went out Kasumi turned on the radio to hear about the weather this afternoon. Unusually the weather report was delayed, due to an extra newsflash was brought about a maniac seemingly stealing lingerie hanging on clothes lines and warned residents to keep watch for this pervert. The description of the culprit was pretty vague except for he everytimes sparks on the back of his head as he left the crime scene.
"Ohh… I got my hands on that psycho, I will twist his leg, knock him into the next centuary and then smash him into a unreconizable state that even C.S.I can't use much of to identify the killer." Akane laughed evilly as she started to extra carefully polish"Thee mallet of doom" that was her keepsake and insurence if anyone tried to use her.
The eldest Tendo daughter felt eager to test her experience in"You shouldn't be so timid, take more space!"-class and try to make her younger and more brutal sister to be reasonable.
"Akane! You shouldn't be so bru…"Kasumi started.
"What, Kasumi dear?"Akane asked through gritted teeth as she now started with the second polish on the mallet with steel wool and muttered veeeery mean plans on how to punish the pervert.
"Nothing..." Kasumi replied slightly discouraged as the lessons didn't help her much.
Akane continued to mutter more twisted and wicked plans as time goes by and the hammer become sharper and sharper. The clock struck 10 am and kausmi left for her seminary to tell how she made (un)progress on her little personality-issue.
When Kasumi left, Akane come up with a very bright idea:
"Since that pervert is prowling around here, it would be the safest if I made the dinner so me and my older sisters would have enough energy to keep watch for devil!" Akane started to scavenge through the kitchen drawers find ingredientes and found some funny looking bottles with labels like:"Hazardious to consume in
conjunction with sodium hydroxide", "Only two drops of this, not three not two hundred and fifteen, ONLY TWO DROPS!" and the favorite Akane oftenly uses: "Don't even think about use this in dishes that are made for humans, peabrain! "
The youngest sister felt that she finally had made a dish that didn't try to crawl away before you added some ketchup. Later that day at 4 p.m the other sisters returned home to find to their horro that Akane had made the dinner even if they insisted that Akane shouldn't try to make dinner so often, only once per thirteenth year would be good enough.
"Eh Akane, how should I put this in a nice way… I had already ordered okonomiyaki we should pick up in five minutes" Nabiki excused to thwart Akane's cooking that more and more each time looked like it was taken from a detective story with poisonmurderes. The older Tendo sisters looked concerned as they waited for the youngest sister's reply.
"But... but I worked hard this time not to burn anything look!" Akane showed them the bakingtray with the purplish-looking object that was supposed to resemble batter pudding.
Nabiki and Kasumi's faces were locked in a pale-white state between horror and pseudo-hapiness.
Akane was a bit dissapointed, but with tongue to cheek she agreed to eat at the okonomiyaki-restaurant called"Uuchan's pizzahut". But before that before they leaved she quickly ran to the kitchen like a mad rhino and cut up the batter pudding on three plates and decorated them with a little cheesecream and plastic strawberry that she thought was edible.
While the Tendotroupe was gone, the little rat, a-herm, Cueball enters the neighbourhood in bandit clothes a la Japanese style.
"Oh-ho! Does my decieve me? " Little Cueball spotted the sweet little Akane's underwears that were drying on the clotheline.
"Another troophy for the subduer of evil, the knight with blonde and long hair!" Cueball exclaimed as he shook the lingerie insde his big sack of lingerie he had"liberated" from the demonic clothe lines. Cueball saw that the door into the"Tendo cave" was open and of course, he invited himslef into the castle of beautiful women.
"Ho-ho, ladies! Your ever lovable knight it is here to save you." Cueball bellowed, but"un"fortunatley the lady Tendo's weren't home. When he didn't find anyone of them, little Cueball felt a grumble in his stomache that roared:
"I want food before we can hunt even more demons and rescue ladies and liberate their underwear!"
Cueball had agree with his stomache and found the kitchen with the batter pudding served on three plates on the kotatsu-table.
First cueball tried portion that instantly made Cueball feel the urge to visit the little knights' room to drench the vulcanic fire in his mouth.
"Water! Water! Give me the Victorian falls for a kingdom!"
But Cueball wasn't let down by this"hot"dessert as he claimed for more.
"No way!"
Oh, yes he did and launched towards Nabiki's plate that by contact made the knightly tongue stuck by absolute zero temperature glue-flavoured batter pudding.
" Kettle! Kettle filled with hot water!" Cueball tried to say through the plate he was stuck on.
After fifteen minutes of trying to get rid of the second"yummy" batterpudding portion, Cueball felt the urge tha he must end what he started.
"Never! No way! I would rather lose my hair rather then eat that disgusting filth." Cueball objected as he tipped over… that's right kids, the Heinz ketchupbottle over the last batter pudding reserved for Akane.
After a few seconds, a perverted creature of nature rised from the plate alive: The batter puddingmonster. O.o
"Bob want's to make daddy proud." The selfbaptised batter pudding monster roared like a monster baby and dived into Dr. Cueball Frankenstein's throat and all the way to the stomache.
"Must… get... hyper antidote and Absolute vodka with lemon flavour!" Cueball said while he staggered to the medicin where the youngest sister had taken most ingredients for her monstrious good dinner.
After getting drunk on the Absolute vodka, Cueball went into the livingroom and wanted to find a nice couch to watch some re-re runs of Baywatch absolute episodes on the tele.
What was left of Akanes couch was only something that looked like a broken down stool, so Cueball didn't even try to sit on it.
Next up was Nabiki's luxerous sofa where he jumped in joy until a spimg broke and sent him into Kasumi's pretty hard couch.
"Cueball think he hurts his tummy." The knight whispered through the pain.
Cueball felt that he needed to rest after all the fun adventures, so he darted with his big sack of various lingerie into the Tendo bedroom.
First he tried sweet little Akane's bed, but it was quite broken, and yet it was made of adamantium, due to the youngest sister's wild dreams about her fiancee´.
Secondly, he tried Kasumi's bed that were warm and filled with really strange magazines you wouldn't expect to be in her bed.
And lastly Cueball tried the middle Tendo sister's bed and it wasn't borken, neither odd, just perfect and went to sleep as the bed rocked him while the inbuilt-radio sang lullabys.
Of course the Tendo sqaud must get home to their dear schack, a-herm, lovely apartment.
"Hey! Someone has eaten the batter pudding I thought we could have for dessert." Akane sadly stated with tears.
The older sisters took a deep breath of gratitude, but did aswell the sign of the cross for the poor fellow.
They continued to the livingroom and discovered that someone had used their furnitures and haven't shut off the tele that still showed the re-re run of the Baywatch series.
"Someone has been on my broken stool." the youngest sister cried.
"What are you said about Akane, someone have sitten in my couch and haven't paid for it!" Nabiki frowned.
"Oh dear, someone have used my couch and made a big crater that looks like the…"Kasumi started.
"The prowling pervert!" Akane blurted and quickly darted to the place she kept her, now stake pointy, mallet. "I knew he was coming..." she laughed not so unlike Kodachi.
Next up they followed the trail of bras to the Tendo sisters' second most holy room: The bedroom.
Kasumi blushed as she saw someone had slept in her bed and thrown all her naughty magazines around her bed and quickly hide them under bed before someone of the other sisters would notice her"hobby".
"Hey sisters! The evader sleeps in my bed and still hasn't paid for the food or the bed!" Nabiki said furiosly.
About the time Cueball woke up in Nabiki's bed, the bed was surrounded by Akane holding her pointy mallet, Kasumi with a frying pan and Nabiki holding her hand close to his face that said something "Pay me, or die!"
"Ho-ho, finally you came back home to your castle ladies! But why are you looking like that at me?" Cueball said innocently. , right ,
"Get the cueball!" The youngest sister yelled as they tried to punish the pervert as he evaded their attempts.
"Hey I am not bold, look I still have hair." Cueball protested and showed his hair… anyway, that was left of it as Akane almost impaled his perverted heart with her poiny mallet.
"Ho-ho ladies, Thank you for your support, but now I must get to the next neighbourhood." Cueball excused and throw a smokebomb to cover his escape.
In the end the Tendo sisters decided that it would be safer to move home to their father and lived happily ever after... well until one of Ranma's fiancees thought of something else.
The end.
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Please Read and Review this fairy tale and tell me your thoughts about it, perhaps you even have an idea of a new fairy tale I should write.