That's life; it's not supposed to be fair
No matter the horrible thoughts Casey thought she couldn't find it in herself to hate the only man she ever loved. No matter how horrible he spoke to her or treated her during the separation, she could only smile and tell people that she loved him. Every night she spent crying into her pillow case was another day she faked her happiness to her family and the world around her. Derek on the other hand was out at all hours and having the time of his life, not really caring that he hurt the one girl he promised he would never let down.
The door could not slam shut any quicker as a disheveled Casey stomped her way through the living room into the kitchen. Lizzie quickly turned her head, dropping the remote that had been clutched tightly in her grasp. She caught site of Casey's long brown hair and in less than a second, she was up on her feet chasing Casey. Lizzie looked at her distressed sister sitting at the kitchen table with her head in her hands, sobs shaking her entire body. She quickly pulled up a seat and attempted placing a calming hand on her back, but Casey pulled away almost immediately. Lizzie sighed, blowing the hair from her eyes,
"Okay, what happened, Casey? What did Derek do this time?" She could practically feel Casey tense and she shifted nervously in her seat. Casey picked her head up, wiping the tears away with her finger, laughing almost sadistically.
"Well, we broke up last night. We fought too much, and I was always angry, so I asked to break up until I could figure things out. I felt bad and suggesting dating other people, even though I never wanted to, I just wanted to make him happy…" Casey said running out of breath. Lizzie stared at her sympathetically, wanting to take her pain away.
The door opened once more, sending a slight breeze through the house. Casey heard the familiar sound of a leather jacket hitting the floor and she froze completely.
"Anyone home?" Derek's voice boomed. Casey went to make a run for it upstairs, but Lizzie forcefully grabbed her arm, causing her to crash back into her chair. Derek's footsteps echoed into the kitchen where he caught sight of his ex and his sister. He quickly turned on his heel and Casey sighed as she heard the stairs creek, signaling he was upstairs.
"Want to know what's worse, Liz?" Casey asked, finally looking her sister in the eye, "He said maybe we could be together if our paths crossed again. Isn't that just another way of saying it'll never happen again?" Lizzie glanced back at her, offering a confused shrug.
--
"No way, Casey. I'm not giving you what you want this time." Derek said, turning his back to her again to focus on his computer. He silently groaned as he felt her piercing eyes on his back.
"Derek…it's not my fault. You know I have anger issues and I told you it wasn't my fault that my counselor lied to my mom and told her I was getting help. Why can't we try this again?" Her voice cracked as she tried not to let herself melt in front of him. Derek turned to her again, his eyes now starting to cloud over with anger.
"Casey, you even told me 2 months ago when we broke up the first and second time that you tried dating again. Remember that? We were on break and you tried to date again…doesn't that mean I never fully had your heart?" His eyes began to tear, but he quickly blinked them back.
"You said you forgave me, so why use this against me?" She questioned angrily.
"I never had your heart" He yelled, grabbing his computer mouse tightly, seething with anger. He eventually got fed up from the fighting and left his room leaving Casey to cringe as the front door slammed.
--
Weeks passed and there wasn't a day that Casey didn't cry. She tried to remain friends with Derek, hoping to build their friendship up again. Derek had left 3 hours ago for a party and Casey had been desperate to reach him. She glanced at her phone when she saw she had a text, and her heart leapt when she saw it was from Derek.
'I need space, please give it to me'
Casey sighed, running a hand roughly through her hair and she struggled to type.
'I can respect that. Can we talk when I feel better?'
Derek had taken a long time to respond as he was probably contemplating whether to give her that chance.
'Yeah, maybe we can be friends then'
That night Casey went to bed with a few bright red slashes on her wrist and a great amount of tears in her eyes. That night she prayed to the God that she had so strongly believed in, praying for healing and for her life to get better. However, she went to sleep with so much doubt in her body that night.
--
Casey only gave it 3 days and she really had felt like she was doing better. She was so eager to text Derek, hoping it would restore everything.
'Derek, I really am feeling better.'
Casey had the phone open before the simple ringtone had finished its tune. Her eyes widened when she saw the heart breaking words on her screen.
'Can we be friends, like the ones that don't talk or hang out?'
Casey simply slammed her phone shut and threw it across the room. She showed no emotion as she heard it smash into several pieces. Why should she care? Her life was simply taking a huge turn for the worse. She trusted Derek with her entire life and he let her down. Not only that, but he didn't care how bad he was hurting her. Casey still pleaded with him, but he simply told her that he did not love her anymore and had no romantic feelings anymore.
Derek went on a trip with Edwin and Marti to go see their mother. Casey was slightly relieved, but also anxious. What if Derek did something stupid or he found another girl to love? She pushed these thoughts aside as she managed a weak wave to her departing family. Casey called Emily later on and tried to clarify things.
"Why is he treating me like shit, Em? All I tried to do was fix things and hope we could still be close." Casey sobbed, tugging at her long hair. Emily sighed, hating seeing her best friend in so much pain, "Life is just so unfair, why does this have to happen to me?!"
"Casey, that's life; it's not supposed to be fair." All Casey could do was cry and try to accept that life wouldn't always be fair. She realized that life is full of obstacles and pain, and that shit was going to happen. What happens in life shapes who you are. Although this was true, Casey sat on her bed every night and hoped that Derek would come back one day. This was it, she had to let him go and accept the truth – life just isn't fair sometimes.