A/N: This is my first fanfiction so please be be nice.
Her sword slipped from her ringed fingers and clattered onto the floor beyond her reach, leaving her to shoot it a longing look before averting her eyes to the pirate in front of her.
"I don't see the reason of ye carrin' tha' sorry excuse fer a sword, lass. It clearly did ye no good," Sparrow said with the tip of his sword resting against her neck.
She looked at him vacantly. "Be thankful me gorgeous self is drunk an' unable to function properly, pirate. Yer good, I give ye tha', but nowhere near as good as I am," she said with a sigh and brought her supple leg up, kicking the weapon out of his hand, using the opportunity to wipe her sweaty brow.
He watched her with narrowed eyes as she turned her back on him and staggered towards the bar clumsily.
"Hey, how bout I buy ye a drink?" he called, leaning against the bar seductively next to her, smirking.
She shrugged and said, "If ye want to spend yer money on the invincible me tha' has just kicked yer butt in front of those blokes," she nudged her head towards the two tables where men were drinking their heads off, "then feel free an' go ahead."
He smiled sweetly despite wanting to strangle her. "Yer right. I do not wish te spend me money on a female version of a man - pathetic at that," he said and walked away from the evil woman after retrieving a bottle of rum.
She huffed and threw her hip-length hair behind her shoulder. "Who is that mangy cad, Alec? I haven't seen 'im here before," she asked the bartender as she followed the captain with her eyes.
"Him? Came 'ere a few hours ago. On a ship with Black sails, he's a captain... or so they say anyway," he answered while tending the dirty bar with a cloth.
"More like a tramp than a captain," she commented under her breath. "Anyhow, yer finest run if ye please. I wanna get drunk!" she exclaimed cheerfully.
He shook his head and placed a bottle onto the table for her, "As if ye aren't already."
She strolled over to the two tables she mentioned earlier, dropping herself into a man's lap.
"Adely, luv, yer tricks are getting old, dear. Ye and Sparrow started off on the wrong foot. Gave ye a hard time, eh?" he said and threw his head back to take a good gulp from his bottle.
"Oh please. I can wrap that man around my fingers in no time, I assure ye!" she slurred.
"Sounds like a bet Gents?" he laughed heartily, "Our Adelaide against Sparrow!"
She narrowed her eyes at his sarcasm. "A bet indeed. That man will fall for me like any other and will be kissing my feet. If not I will walk around Jamaica in nothin' but what me mother delivered me in - I'm that confident," she said.
"Ye do realize yer terribly drunk?" the man said with amusement.
~ollo~ollo~ollo~ollo~ollo~ollo~ollo~
The intoxicated pirate stumbled into his cabin clumsily, taking his vest off jerkily out of sheer frustration, the rest of his clothes following. He walked to his bed blindly and dived under the covers with a content groan, falling asleep instantly, oblivious about the surprise that awaited him in the morning.
The next morning Jack rolled over in his bed and placed his arm around the woman next to him, burying his nose in her tropical-scented hair.
He smiled in his sleep, "Humph... ye smell nice, luv..."
WAIT! What was a woman doing in his bed? His eyes snapped open as he drew his arm away from her as if burnt. He frowned and carefully leaned over her to see her face, moving her hair out of the way, recognizing the unmannered sassy instantly.
"BLOODY 'ELL! What in the devil's name are ye doing here?" He roared.
Her eyes snapped open, her sudden desire to sit up causing their foreheads to collide with each other painfully.
"Ow! You foolish git!" she hissed, rubbing her brow where a red bump was appearing.
"Are you stalking me woman? That's not even the point, NO ONE is allowed in my bed!" he snapped and pushed her off.
She stared back at him, unfazed, stretching out on the floor. "Ye want me to leave then?"
"Damn Yes!" he shouted, "Get off me ship, woman, now!"
"Someone woke up on the wrong side of the bed?" she asked sheepishly.
"In fact I have!" he spat back.
"Just te let ye know I do not stalk heinous men such yerself. Never will I stoop so low. Good day, sir," she said with a wink and disappeared through the door. How the hell did I end up on this bloody ship? Oh hell, she thought as she looked in front of her.
Jack has just managed to pull his pants up as the she-devil burst through the door again.
"Hold yer horses, wench," he growled.
"As much as I luv swimmin' I am obligated to refuse yer offer. I do not fancy to get me feet wet. I DEMAND ye turn yer bloody boat back!" she said as she pushed past him and sat on top his desk cross-legged.
Jacks eyes popped out of his head as the image of him telling Gibbs to set sail before staggering to his cabin appeared in his head. He grabbed her upper arm hard enough to bruise and dragged her along.
"I'm afraid ye will 'ave to get yer feet wet cause yer not stayin' aboard me ship. An' if ye sink or sharks get te yer, I promise not to cry over ye. Perhaps I'll throw a party to celebrate yer taking off," he said.
"Let go of me, pathetic drunk! Ow! Yer hurting me! I SAID LET GO!" she yelled and dug her perfect white teeth into his flesh, causing him to let go.
He shook his hand in the air and said with malice "What are ye, some kind of wild brute desperate to try human blood? Yer certainly no human being, filthy savage dog!"
"I want te establish something. Never touch me if ye value yer foolish life!" she retaliated sharply.
Jack looked around, daring anyone to comment. No one did, just stared.
"Lower a dingy for the lady. She has kindly volunteered to row 'er lazy backside back to shore. Make sure to escort her by force if necessary," Sparrow commanded and walked to the helm.
"Now that, sir, is what I call a big fat lie. Some chubby fellow has dragged me aboard against me will. I'm not but an innocent damsel in distress here! Ye can't just send me away. The shore is too far away," she whined as she followed him hot on his heels.
"The day I run meself through with a sword would be the day I let ye stay aboard me ship. There I was, having a drink, when a stranger, a woman, pointed a sword in my face. Answer me, is that even normal?" he said, finally finding the nerve to move his eyes to her.
"That was a dare! I had no idea ye was the famous Captain Jack Sparrow when I walked up to ye... Yer good," she added.
Jack's chest puffed up in pride as he looked in front of him again. "That I am."
She made the sweetest face she could muster and said just as sweetly, "...Does that mean I can stay until the next port?"
"No, lass. I am not willin' to put up with the devious behavior of yers. I know ye for a few hours only, but ye managed to create the desire of strangling ye. Congratulations."
"I am proud to hear that, Sparrow..." she said with the roll of her eyes. "But how 'bout now?" she asked, holding in the air the black string to which a valuable object was attached, "I don't see anythin' special 'bout this thing but I hear tell ye value it. Now... we wouldn't want it to disappear beneath the waves so easily."
Jack looked at her sharply. A bloody thief she was.
"Me? I'm dishonest. And a dishonest man ye can always trust to be dishonest. Now ye. Ye can hand me the compass over after having me word that ye will have a safe passage to shore, meaning aboard me beauty. But where is the truth in that promise? Be a clever lass and give it back..." Jack said looking in front of him, confident "... before I'll do something stupid."
She smiled like a madwoman and said, "That's the whole point. The thing is I am not going to give it back until ye keep yer promise. Only then will I keep mine. Who do ye think I am, trusting someone like ye? Oh please," she scoffed, "I 'ave more common sense than ye think."
Jack sighed, defeated. "Welcome aboard the Black Pearl Miss- I still don't know yer name, girl."
"Adelaide June Galinda. But ye can call me Adely in the name of our delightful friendship," she said and waited for him to take her outstretched hand.
"If anythin' 'appens to me compass I'll break yer neck. If anythin' 'appens to me ship I will also break yer neck. If anythin' 'appens ye, ye will save me the bother of breaking yer neck. The rules are simple. Find a mop and get to work. I will not tolerate foul language so keep that annoying mouth of yers shut at all times. Ye will follow my orders without hesitation," he said, "And we're NOT friends!"
"Are ye always this mean, Sparrow? Tsk, yer no fun," she said and tucked Jack's compass into her coat pocket, him noting the gesture angrily, ready to pounce at any moment and grab it, "Ye grumble like an old woman. I'll give ye an advice as a kind friend: get a life! Bite the bullet and let yer hair down."
Jack fumed. "Do ye know who ye are? Yer a..."
"Who? Who am I dear?" she interrupted mockingly.
"...creation of hell."
She looked at him thoughtfully. "Do ye want an analysis? That was a very creative answer. And I'm truly upset. See? That's a tear on my face," she said with a huge grin.
"Master Gibbs! Show that woman to the mop and bucket," he shouted urgently, "I want some peace. I don't care how ye do it but make sure she keeps her immature gob shut."
"Ye do realize yer insults don't 'ave an affect on me?" she said seriously, unlike herself.
He looked at her with a frown until she added, "Unlike ye. Ye just want to tie me to the bed. Lash out yer frustration with a whip, don't ya?"
"MASTER GIBBS!" he roared.