I could see, the look on his face when Mickey hugged Rose, and again later, when they went for pizza, I had to do this, i hate unrequited, makes me cry but my muse called and I answered, so here goes. P.S sorry bout my formatting guys, my puter is pretty much up the chuff as is most my word stuff so Im having to struggle to post but wanted to so I could get my stuff up, so sorry for it on this and others.
"Hey up, heres trouble, hows it going Ricky"
"Its Mickey"
Heres trouble is right. All the places we go, all the times we visit, I can at least pretend that you don't exist, that she's mine. Here and now though, when Rose has called you to come, I cant ignore the nagging emptiness inside. Shes not mine, and you do exist. It hurts, Im 900 years old, and I've seen things you couldn't even conceive, but your presence in my ship hurts, because when your here my world of make believe comes crashing down. Its not my hand she's holding, its yours.
""Don't listen to him, he's just windin you up"
"You look fantastic"
Hey, that's MY word Ricky, and yea, she does look fantastic, and you got to tell her, before i did. Not that I would, too scared to, but I cant now, because you already have.
"Ahh sweet, look at these two, how come I never get any of that?"
"Buy me a drink first"
"Such hard work"
"But worth it"
Jack knows, he can see, that's why he tried to make me smile. I think that even a part of him feels my pain, he likes her too, he wants to tell her how fantastic she looks, but he cant either now. Its not what I wanted today, not you, here with her. she was mine, or at least a part of her was until you turned up. Now her heads all full of you and I don't even get a look in. It hurts, I don't do domestic, but now that your here I haven't got a chance.
"So you aren't stayin then?"
And now dammit i feel sorry for you, because tomorrow she'll be travelling with me, and I can pretend again, even though she's yours you wont be able to hold her, have her, be with her. She'll be mine again.
"So whats on?"
"Nothing just...
Jack sees again, sees me hating you, and loving her. She just walked off with you, possibly for the night, and I cant bring myself to think about what that means because then I might brake, and I cant do that, world in peril an all. Why Ricky, why today, I had it all planned, her hand in mine exploring Cardiff, running for our lives possibly, her smiling at me like Im the only one in the world to her, and then chips. Our weekly ritual, and you had to go spoil even that!
"Hows Mickey"
"He's okay, he's gone"
"D'ya wanna go n find him, we'll wait"
"No need he deserves better"
Yes, she's staying, and your gone, and there it is again, that god damned pang of guilt, of pity, and I hate you even more for it, but Im not guilty enough to offer to wait again, because even I have to be selfish sometimes. I want her to be here with me and Jack. Need her to be. She looks so sad, and I can see the tears, Im aching to wipe them away, but fear, and a sense of, something, maybe nobility, but mostly fears stops me, and I hate you for it all over again. My only comfort is she left you, to be with me, and she hasn't looked back, and that she stays.
"Margerate the slatheen can live her life again, a second chance"
"That'd be nice"
Oh, not that, please, how can i pretend if she's not even here. Anything, but regret.