Four days. That's how long it'd been since Light had been blessed with a good night's sleep. Obviously, L didn't consider the logistics of handcuffing a normal person to a sugar-loving insomniac twenty four seven for an indefinite amount of time, namely that normal people need to sleep while L is sitting at his computer all night tapping away at the keys. This resulted in Light's nerves being frayed raw and his plotting with sudden ingenuity wrought from desperation.
"Hey, Ryuuzaki, can we take the handcuffs off for a while? They're hurting my wrist" Light questioned.
"Light-kun should have considered that before he became a serial killer," L responded, "and they're not hurting my wrist."
Ignoring the serial killer comment as he had become accustomed to doing by now, Light retorted, "Maybe my cuff is sharper on the inside or something. It's not like you would know; you haven't tried it on."
"Fine, we'll switch," L conceded before pulling out the key to the handcuffs and unlocking his and then Light's. Acting swiftly, Light used his superior strength and the element of surprise to shove L to the floor, hooking one handcuff around his wrist and the other around a chair and locking them before retreating to a safe distance.
"Light-kun! What is this...?!" L growled.
"I'm sick of being in these handcuffs all the time, and I seriously need to sleep. I'll be right back; I just need to get something," Light returned before leaving the struggling detective to head in the direction of the headquarters' kitchen.
Many people would be content just to abandon L there and catch some z's, but no, not Light-kun. Even if he wasn't currently Kira, he still did have a sadistic and vengeful streak. Not only was he going to get his delicious sleep, he was going to make L pay.
Reentering the room, Light sat down out of L's reach and pulled out a piece of strawberry shortcake. Everyone knows that Watari's shortcake is the best, and this piece looked particularly appetizing. The strawberries were plump and fresh, and their light scent could be smelled even from L's distance. It had just the right amount of frosting, not too much, and the cake looked soft and moist. His stomach growling forlornly, L was almost foaming at the mouth.
With a victorious smirk, Light began unhurriedly devouring the cake, his eyes closed in pleasure at the taste as he made sure to lick all of the frosting off of the fork. L wasn't quite sure which was making him more uncomfortable: Light eating his cake, or Light's tongue swirling so seductively around the unfortunately white frosting. L squirmed slightly as his jeans tightened, but Light didn't seem to notice the effect he was having on the older man and wrote the squirming off to desire for the cake.
"Light-kun, I have diabetes and my blood sugar is getting low. I need to have some of that cake," L tried, choosing to ignore his other problem in favor of the cake.
"I have no problem believing that you would get diabetes from your diet, but I've never heard anything about this before and Watari wouldn't let you still eat like this if that were true," Light replied, dismissing his excuse and continuing to munch on the pastry.
"That cake has laxatives in it; I was testing to see who has been stealing my food from the kitchen," L declared.
"If it had laxatives in it, you wouldn't have just attempted to get some and you would have let me eat it," Light answered disinterestedly.
Having a sudden idea, L muttered some inaudible phrase.
"What?" Light asked, leaning in closer. L murmured again. "I can't quite understand what you're saying." Light scooted even closer to L with only his head, falling into the trap.
Suddenly, L grabbed the back of Light's head with his free hand and pulled him into a bruising kiss. Light could only blink and give a deer-in-the-headlights look, startled by L's forwardness. Gradually, he closed his eyes and started to participate when he felt L's eager tongue prying at his lips. He obliged L by opening his mouth. Pulling away breathlessly, Light gazed at L licking his lips and realized that the cake that had been in his mouth was gone.
"You little minx," he growled. L smirked in response, leaning towards Light on his hands and knees with a predatory look in his deep obsidian eyes.
"You'll have to punish me then..." he trailed off suggestively before Light pounced on him. So much for sleeping.