They were miles apart. Literally. It was heart-wrenching, it hurt so bad. Tears welled in Kendall's eyes. He shouldn't have to be going through this; definitely not being alone in a foreign country. He never felt more scared in his life. No friends, no family, just him in a hotel room with a window over-looking the city below him, bright lights shining straight through the curtains, right into his eyes. He tossed and turned, each creak of the hotel bed a painful reminder of where he was; not in the comfort of 2J, no friends nearby if anything should happen. Dark dreams plagued his unconscious state, and soon he found himself curled into a ball, eyes red and swollen, big fat tears rolling down his face one after the other. But it didn't matter anymore. No one could see him, but that just made it hurt all the more. So what if he was leader? So what if the company decided to send him overseas all by himself just to answer a few interviews? The least they could have done is allowed his friends to come over, he didn't know it was going to be a three month affair! Every time he sang one of his songs, he felt his heart break into even smaller pieces, till they were just dust, waiting to be swept away by the wind. Kendall had never felt so alone.
After Big Time Rush's debut, they became popular and had been asked overseas for interviews. However, Rocque Records refused to send all four of them over, claiming that the airplane would probably crash before it even took off, leaving Kendall to go fend for himself in a foreign land. It had been a tearful departure, but he had promised to return as soon as he could, but it was only the end of the first week and Kendall was already feeling homesick. And this sucked, big time.
Not bothering to dry the wetness he felt in his eyes, he got up and walked to the window overlooking the city, stuffing his hands into his pockets and rocking back and forth on his heels. Now of all times, he missed his band members more than anything. Sure they were rowdy at times and they had spent way too much time with each other occasionally but they were still the best buds any guy could have ever asked for. Kendall's thoughts started to drift miles and miles away.
Kendall thought of Logan, of his 'smartness' that got annoying at times but was what saved them time and time again. He thought of him working hard to complete homework and finishing all their holiday homework in less than 24 hours when they were rushing for rock-tober fest and all the times he spent behind a book or scribbling on paper. He thought of the times Logan always seemed to know what to do when anyone was sick, how his maternal side always showed when anyone of them got injured. He thought of a pair of glasses, constantly having to be pushed back up his nose, sliding down from the tilted head of the small raven-haired boy.
Kendall thought of Carlos, of corn dogs and swirly, of all the crazy things Carlos had made him do, of his puppy dog eyes and loopy smile. He thought of messy hair and snoring, and his habit of never really finishing what he started out to do. He thought of the time Carlos saved them from Hawk, and all his unnamed superheroes. He thought of Carlos' all too apparent sincerity and problems he faced with girls, being way too honest with them for their liking. He thought of Carlos' crazy antics, and protectiveness over each and every one of them, never ever wanting to see any of them get hurt, helmet on head at all times, only giving it up to protect his friends.
Kendall thought of James, of all his hairspray products, of all the times he talked to himself in the mirror. He thought of the time James became orange after contracting Hollywood fever, and his allergic reaction to the man-spray which caused a bad rash to act up. He thought of his obsession with himself, those perfect eyes and perfect hair; ability to fit into clothes so dangerously tight he was sure it could enter the Guinness Book of World Records. He thought of his award-winning smile and of all his crazy antics with Carlos, of washboard abs which he was proud of and big dreams to be famous.
Kendall thought of all these and more. Of Katie and his mom, of Kelly and even Gustavo. He thought of Minnesota and cool weather, hockey games and the exhilaration he always felt. Kendall thought of home.
Like it or not, thoughts of his father came to mind. How he had ruthlessly abandoned the family, leaving Kendall all alone to fend for himself. They had the best times together, playing hockey, talking under the stars, Kendall had always wanted to be his father when he grew up. But one day, he went into his parent's bedroom, to find his mom crying and the room emptier than usual. No words were exchanged but the bushy-brow boy knew what it meant, face scrunched up to stop and possibly kill all offending tears that had gathered in his eyes.
And now here he was, feeling abandoned by the world. He realized how small and insignificant he actually was on a planet with over a billion others. His friends had promised to call every night, but he was guessing that they had had a rough day today because they hadn't called. Maybe that's why Kendall felt so alone all of a sudden. They hadn't called for the past three days, 20 hours, 34 minutes and 16 seconds. And precisely because they didn't call, he was once again reminded of the distance between them. He felt...abandoned. Once again, tears rolled down his cheeks as he thought of his father. No, his friends weren't like his father. They weren't even close. These feelings of insecurity were nothing. He was worrying way too much. Right?
Burying his head in his hands, his body shook, a gentle trembling escalating into a violent sobbing. He didn't want this anymore. He wanted to go home. To familiar 2J, to the room he shared with James. He just wanted everything to end now so he could go home. He hated change, and it wasn't made easier by the fact that he was alone.
A silent buzzing sound filled the room.
Kendall turned, eyes swollen and puffy, staring incredulously at the screen of his hand phone. Hardly breathing, he walked slowly towards it, almost scared that any sudden movement might make the vibrations stop. Once in reach, he lunged forward and grabbed it, staring hard at the lit up screen, recognizing the number almost instantly.
It was James.
Not daring to believe it, he pressed the answer button and brought the phone up to his ear. "Hello?" his voice cracked, sounding dry and hoarse over the line. He waited for a response. Nothing. At all. No reply, just silence. Kendall's heart plummeted to his stomach and he felt his eyes began to brim once again. What the heck, he had been waiting all day for the call, and it's a hoax?
Just as he's about to hang up, he hears something. Shuffling? What in the world...
"Kendall? Hello? Please still be there..." Logan's voice drifted over the phone. So it wasn't a hoax. Kendall nodded, momentarily forgetting that Logan couldn't see him. "Yea. Umm, it's me. Hi," he replies nervously. Why does he feel scared all of a sudden?
"Ok Kendall, hang on a minute, and just listen, ok?"
That minute seemed like eternity as Kendall tried to make out hurried whispers and random shufflings over the telephone line. Finally, Kendall hears something. It starts out soft at first but slowly gets louder as the intro ends and a voice come floating over the line.
It's their song. James chocolate voice comes drifting over, right into his own ear.
Wait a minute before you tell me anything
How was your day?
Cause I've been missing
You by my side, yeah.
Did I awake you out of you dream?
I'm sorry but I couldn't sleep.
Kendall breathes in deeply, wanting to absorb every bit of his best friend's voice, before breathing out in almost a whisper.
You calm me down
There's something about the sound of your voice.
And just like that, the four boys are singing, voices tentative and searching at first, finally reaching a common high, and matching each other's rhythms perfectly. Voices swaying, spiraling, joining together before breaking apart, only to be magnetically pulled towards a common ending once again.
I never, never,
As far away as it may seem no.
Soon we'll be together
We'll pick up right where we left off.
They spent the rest of the night singing, song after song, Kendall holding tight to each word sung through the phone, feeling really special, because he felt as though his friend's voices were drifting all the way over from back in LA, overcoming obstacles and finally reaching him. By the end of the night, all four boys were in tears, and apart from the words exchanged through the song, no others were said, but it was almost understood unanimously, they would always be together, Big Time Rush or not, and they would never abandon anyone.
For the first time, Kendall felt that maybe, just maybe, he could really finish this trip overseas. Because he knew he had friends behind him, who would be thinking about him worldwide.
LOL. Another cheesy ending. No intentional Kames inserted here, though it does seem that everything Kendall does is somehow or another related to James but oh wells. Hope you guys like the short piece, it's a one-shot and I really don't intend on continuing it but still, reviews are loved. Btw, I couldn't help but insert Worldwide into this fic because it is like one of my favorite songs by them. Anyway, please review! I would very much appreciate it (: Thanks!