This is a songfic about Jacob trying to help Bella get out of her depression once Edward leaves. The song is "Here For You Now" by Lesley Roy; I totally recommend listening to it, it's a pretty powerful song that I think describes this situation perfectly :) Oh, and this is in Jacob's POV by the way!
Disclaimer: I do not own Jacob or Bella, or the song for that matter. This is just a product of my imagination!
Here For You Now
Fall down, yeah you're falling on your knees
And you're begging me, please,
To help you.
Seeing Bella the way she was, heartbroken, made my own heart wrench in pain. To see the girl suffer, and at the hands of a bloodsucking monster, made me want to claw my brains out. She didn't deserve this. She was too good, too naïve, too . . . undeserving. Of all the people I knew and loved, she was the last person I wanted to fall victim to the dark side of love, the side where the heart was irreparable of love's consequences.
The lifelessness of her brown eyes, the deathly pallor of her skin, was an S.O.S. She needed my help, and I was more than willing to see her off to a place where she could forget about Edward Cullen. Forget how he had ever set foot into her life, forget why she fell in love with him, forget why she wanted to spend eternity with him.
I just don't want her to fall down again.
The sound, of you screaming on the ground,
Cause the demons in your head
Have found you.
Every mention of his name, every time I implied to something that related to her love for the vampire, brought on asphyxiation. I was powerless to stop it. She tried to hold herself together, but the sorrow in her eyes was too great. She was a young girl of 18, and she had already seen so much of what life had to offer, and how much of life could destroy what she held most dear.
In my eyes, I had seen what life could do to what I held most dear. And right now, it was killing her. My Bella.
I don't want to hurt you,
I just want to fix you,
I know I can make it right again.
I want you to see me,
I need you to feel me,
It's all that I wanted in the end.
Doesn't she realize what I'm doing? Can't she see that I only want to help her? Love her? Care for her? Mend her broken heart? I'd always known that the bloodsucker would bring about her downfall, but I was too uncertain, too considerate of what it might do to her. To have a 16 year-old boy tell her what was best for her?
I could hear the laughter.
Then the confusion.
Then the anger at being told how to live her life.
No, it was never my place to tell her. But, I wish now that I had.
Stupid, stupid, stupid! How could I have not seen? The way she pathetically tried to flirt with me for information about the Cullens was too cute for me to even see past it, to realize she had already made up her mind about Edward. I was only there to back up her suspicions, to confirm what she already knew.
Bella needs me more than ever now. I don't think she even realizes how much. How can I make her see?
(Chorus)
Hey you, take a look around I'm beside you.
I'm right here for you now.
Hey you, it's hard enough to be what you want to.
I'm right here for you now.
Right here for you now.
I know she can never be with Cullen, not the way she wants to be. I'm not so dumb that I can't see what love in the sense holds for her: a love that will last all eternity. Cullen couldn't give her that, or he wouldn't have been such a dumbass and ran away from her, leaving her in the middle of the forest to try and decipher the meanings of his goodbye.
Yeah, his stupid plan worked brilliantly. He left her broken, and now he's probably off living it up somewhere where the sun don't shine. What an idiot. What a bastard. What a shame.
I'll always be right next to her, her friend, her shoulder to cry on, her comforter. I will be her angel.
Ha, more like a fallen angel. But still, that's better than nothing right?
Stand back, getting closer to the edge,
Just turn around
And walk away now.
Every day brings her closer to the brink. Every day, I can see how she wants to just jump off a cliff and end it. Just to be with him in spirit, if she can't have him in reality. She thought she wasn't good enough for him. One of the few times I will actually call Bella a blind fool.
It was EDWARD who wasn't good enough for HER! She needs to get it through that thick, stubborn head of hers and realize that it's not her fault. It was never her fault . . .
Way to go, bloodsucker.
Now look what you've done.
You wanted her to be safe. Tell me, is suicide a better alternative to you?
Come back, stop putting on the act,
Can't I have you just the way
That I found you?
Sometimes, I wish the man of the hour, Mr. Bloodsucker/Bastard would come back, if only for a few moments. Tell her it wasn't supposed to turn out this way. Let her know what he had planned all along, for her to be happier and safer without him.
She could have peace. I know Bella isn't just your typical "lose love one day, find it the next" kind of girl, but she could move on. Know it wasn't her that drove Edward to utter insanity. I could have my sweet Bella back.
Still, what of the time I got to spend with her now? I know I've made some color come back to her cheeks, made her smile a bit more genuine in the past few months. Could I give up all that time that I spent with my Bella, just to see her back to her normal self and possibly forgetting about me?
I knew she could never forget about me. I can't help but wonder, though.
You don't want to hurt me,
You gotta believe me,
I know I can make it right again.
I'll always look after,
Don't care that I have to,
It's all that I wanted in the end.
Bella doesn't want to show me her pain. Somehow, she knows her pain is my pain. But I want her to let it out, lash out at the stupid bloodsucker that left her. Bring herself to realize that she doesn't have to worry about hurting me. I want to hurt myself, if it'll take the ache away.
I don't care that she's always around now; don't care that I watch her so much that I've attuned my breathing to hers, come to anticipate her movements, her sayings, her expressions. Then again, she's come to do the same to me.
We are a perfect match. That's all I want her to see.
Hey you, take a look around, I'm beside you.
I'm right here for you now.
Hey you, it's hard enough to be what you want to.
I'm right here for you now.
Right here for you now.
Cause I remember you,
And how we used to be.
Do you want to waste it
All for them?
Tell me Bella, is your happiness the price you're gonna pay for him? For all of them leaving you? Are you willing to risk it, the chance of ever being able to smile and laugh again with a heart filled with love, just to pine after Edward Cullen?
What about the way we used to be? How we would just hang out and goof off? Like that one April Fool's Day where we put a rubber band around the nozzle on the sink, so when Billy turned it on, water came splashing at him. Or the other time when we skipped rocks on the beach for hours, just talking. It felt so natural, so real, so . . . right.
Bella, are you willing to waste your life waiting for your knight and shining armor to come and rescue you from Hell's fiery trenches? Can you really afford to wait that long before you lose your sanity, constantly thinking of him even though you tell yourself not to?
I'm here to rescue you, my Bella.
Hey you, take a look around I'm beside you.
I'm right here for you now.
Hey you, it's hard enough to be what you want to.
And I'm right here for you now.
Hey you, take a look around I'm beside you.
I'm right here for you now.
Hey you, it's hard enough to be what you want to.
I'm right here for you now.
Right here for you now.
Bella, I know you can't hear me right now. But just know, that I'm here for you, forever and always. No matter how you view me, whether as a friend, or a brother, or anything else, it will never change how much I love you, and how much I care about you. You will never find me ignorant of your pain and sorrow, but you will always find me willing to comfort you and be with you.
I love you, dearest Bella.
And I'm not going anywhere.
A/N: Hey readers! So, I was just sitting around in my room this afternoon, listening to my iPod, and "Here For You Now" by Lesley Roy came on. I got to thinking how the lyrics perfectly described Jacob's pain and trying to bring Bella back from her depression after Edward left. And what do ya know, this just writes itself :) I've been itching to do a songfic for a while now, and now that I've read a few from different perspectives, I hope this one sounds like a songfic! Thanks, and review please! No flames, but constructive criticism is welcome!
