People change.
They are the most unpredictable force of nature.
And the worse thing is, once they have changed, they never turn back…
"Grief does not change you. It reveals you."
- John Green, The Fault in Our Stars
Clutching my research materials to my chest, I grumbled in irritation to myself. That Professor McGonagall, forcing this stupid Transfiguration project on me! Why on earth would anyone want to learn how to transform into an animal? What if you became a rat? That would suck.
"Just wait till I…" I muttered under my breath as I turned round the bend. Out all nowhere, a pair of pale, long-fingered hands appeared in my vision and they grabbed me. Strong arms wrapped themselves around my waist and dragged me into a shady, dark corner away from the busy corridor.
Struggling furiously, I was just about to kick my would-be attacker in his precious baby-making area when a familiar scent wafted towards my nose. That delicious blend of nutmeg and cedar, with the refreshing hint of freshly mowed grass…
Relaxing now, I sighed haplessly.
"Draco, what do you want now?" I said, trying to turn around, squirming in his embrace.
"Tsk, tsk. Young miss, where are your manners? You sound exactly like that naughty little minx who abandoned her pitiful and distressed lover in pursue of nonsensical fantasies." Replied said fellow lightly as he tightened his grip around me, wrapping me in his warmth.
Rolling my eyes at his melodramatic words, I was tempted to retort, "That was just a Transfiguration project, you twat." However, I decided to simply shrug my shoulders casually, "Well, then I'm assuming you are this heartbroken prince whose beautiful angel has luckily managed to escape from you?"
"More like a tempting succubus but, yes…" He dragged out the word ever so sensually, the sss rolling off his tongue. Removing an arm away from my waist, he turned me around to face him. His lips turned up in a naughty smirk, Draco delicately lifted my chin with a manicured finger as he held me in place with his eyes.
Those eyes… As much as I hate to admit it, they smoldered in such a sinful fashion that such heated gazes should be outlawed. Those silver eyes that melted me to the core like lava, dissolving all of my worries…
"So… How much did you get for the potions test?" I asked nonchantly, hoping that I did not sound too desperate. Professor Snape had just handed us back our test papers with that typical sneer on his face. Looking down at my paper, I fervently hoped that this time, just this time, I would beat Draco at potions.
That arrogant git would always rub his potion test marks into my face. It didn't matter that I beat him in Astronomy, Defence Against Dark Arts and Transfiguration, he still crowed about how his potion marks were something that even Morgan le Fay would envy, especially since Professor Snape is "such a strict and unbiased professor".
Yeah, right.
"98 out of 100," He answered casually as he tossed his paper onto his desk. Then with strangely glittering eyes, he looked at me and asked, "How about you?"
Damn, just one more mark and I could have had the same marks as him!
Putting on a mask of boredom and an air of indifference, I merely shrugged my shoulders and replied, "Oh, not as high as the all-mighty Slytherin God of course."
With the smuggest smirk on his face that I wanted to blast away with an Expelliarmus, he gave me that all-knowing look which practically said, "Knew you couldn't do it!"
Unable to help myself, I hissed at him, crushing my test paper in my hand, "I swear I'll torture you so cruelly that you'll be begging for mercy like a slobbering boarhound!"
There was a pause.
"Then I'm looking forward to your punishment, love." Said Draco with those heavy-lidded eyes.
"Chocolate!"
"Potato Donuts!"
"Chocolate!"
"Potato Donuts!"
"Cho-co-late!"
"Po-ta-toe DONUTS!"
"Fine then!" snapped Draco with irritation. "If you become podgy and fat like that bartender at Three Broomsticks, you have no one to blame but yourself!"
"Chocolate is just as fattening." I half-sang as I dragged him to the tiny wooden food cart at the end of the street. It was just groaning with boxes and boxes of potatoes and I could hear the rich sizzling of oil as the potatoes were lovingly dipped in, coated with a deep batter. The scent of fried potatoes was almost positively overwhelming and I had to admit, my stomach growled quite ferociously.
With a grumble or two, Draco shoved a galleon into the vendor's hands as I eagerly eyed the delicious-looking potatoes turning into an amazing golden brown colour. Behind me, I could hear Draco snorting and muttering under his breath about a "crazily pampered girl who has a commoner's taste" or something like that.
Calling out the order in a deep Irish-accented voice, the vendor passed the crackly brown package to me. Already, I could see the slight grease stains on the paper bag but I ignored it and instead inhaled the most heavenly smell that I had ever met. I absolutely couldn't wait to dig in!
About a second away from devouring my yummy piece of morsel, I paused. Reluctantly tearing away myself from the treat, I stared back at Draco who had been watching me with those amused eyes.
Before I could even open my mouth to retort back at whatever insult he had concocted towards my weird palate, he ruffled my hair gently. Like a shocked child who had just been told that Merlin did not ride on unicorns, I gaped at him.
Whatever the matter has gotten into him? Does he want a bite of my potato snack?
Draco's amusement only seemed to grow bigger with my shock and with a tender smile, he said somewhat fondly and exasperatedly to me, "You can be such a child sometimes, sweetheart."
"Did you hear?"
"Oh my god, yes! I have totally heard about it!"
"Doesn't surprise me at all. I always knew that those ol' Slytherins would choose You-Know-Who instead of Harry Potter."
Angry whispers buzzed like agitated bees swarming around me and whenever I looked up, I could always see a student hurriedly turning away, pretending to be preoccupied with something else.
Gritting my teeth at the throbbing headache in my head, I could feel this unsettling feeling in my heart.
I just felt so uneasy and uncomfortable… Everybody keeps looking at us Slytherins suspiciously, as if they expect us to suddenly brandish our wands and declare our unwavering loyalty to You-Know-Who.
If only Draco was here, his presence would definitely calm me down and soothe my headache. Hell, even his snarky remarks would cheer me up!
But where the devil is he?
No, no, NO! Why are they doing this? Why isn't he helping me?
DRACO!
"Now my pretty, shall I make you into the perfect doll for the Dark Lord? Yes, yes, he will be most pleased when I am done with you. All red, silky and just like him!" Bellatrix Lestrange cackled, her high screechy voice scratching my eardrums.
This is a nightmare. Surely it is… After all, wouldn't Draco have saved me by now?
My muscles ached from struggling against the rusty chains and I shuddered as that crazed witch prodded me with her blood-red nails.
Was it my blood she was covered in? Or was the blood from some other unfortunate soul she had tortured earlier?
I could feel fear drenching the atmosphere and the metallic smell of blood staining the air.
"LOOK at me!" She screamed, before barking out another deranged laugh. Twisting my head so sharply that I thought my neck would have snapped, she forced me to face her.
I half-glared at her defiantly, holding my chin up high as I should.
"Hmm… A rebellious one? Quite a fiery Pureblood you are... I should thank your parents later for bringing me such a delightful present!"
Cruel, taunting eyes flashed with sadistic pleasure as she dug her fingernail into the skin of my cheek, dragging it all the way down to my chin.
It hurt. It hurt so much!
I could feel a warm trickle down my face as sobs were choked in my throat. I wanted to run, to hide, to wash myself until my skin turned raw.
My heart pounded furiously in my ears as I squeezed my eyes shut, forcing tears to gather at the corner of my eyes. The stonewall against my back felt so cold, chilling my blood.
Why isn't he protecting me? ! Was I nothing more than a worthless fiancé of his? Had those promises meant nothing?
"Come, join us and we shall RULE the world with our beloved Dark Lord…. Yes, he is the only one who can rule the world… Our ruler, our king!" Bellatrix laughed, her girlish giggle sounding so out of place from a woman who barely looked human, bulging eyes rolling in their sockets and that unhinged, maniacal grin of rotting teeth.
Grasping feebly at my last hope, I strained my neck to get a glimpse of that familiar white-blonde hair. There! There he is! Hope bubbled in me like a fountain as I caught sight of him. Draco stood there beside his father, clothed in somber onyx robes, his face smeared with desperation and guilt. My parents stood besides them, faces devoid of emotion as they threw their only daughter into the claws of a demon.
My heart sank.
No, I was wrong. This is no nightmare; this is reality.
These memories are so far away from me now, shoved to a dusty corner, almost crumbling to dust. Their whispers barely reach me and when a finger grazes them, the once precious thoughts that they hold inside echo weakly, like a shell of its former self. Flashing weakly, they play like a broken movie, parts intersecting each other in a jerky, blurry haze.
And then it stops abruptly, coldly.
Looking up, I face the man who has dredged up these long-lost memories from the bog of haunted things in my mind.
That face, that hauntingly beautiful face.
His aristocratic nose sits straight on his face, its tip pointing down severely at me as his eyes stare at me intensely. Framed by wispy locks of whitish-blonde hair, his orbs of silver dust scan me, looking for something. On the surface, they seem blank, even bored, to the mere observer. But I could see it. I could see the sorrow, hope and pain swirling beneath the surface, enhancing the depth of his eyes, making them look like heated pools of mercury.
Turning away from his burning, prodding stare, my gaze fluttered over to his hands. Elegant fingers encased in tasteful-looking leather gloves gripped his suitcase tightly, stretching the skin of the gloves over its surface.
I could feel it; His nervousness and irritation staining the air, lending it a decidedly tense atmosphere. Travelling slightly upwards, I noted silently that he was dressed in a crisp and smart-looking dress shirt with its cuffs pulled upwards and folded. A dark emerald tie casually slung over his neck and to pair off his outfit, he wore black slacks on the bottom.
Staring at him, I could feel the words not spoken flowing thick between us. In a tiny corner of my mind, I wondered why these words were like heavy wooden chests with padded with thousands of iron locks. So full of meanings, and yet those meanings were forever lost to me.
Not that I minded, I was the one who had thrown away the key after all.
"Where have you been?" A silky voice breathed out, words tumbling over each other in a lush waterfall.
That same silky voice that spun a web of lies that cocooned me, suffocated me.
Tilting my eyes upwards to meet his, I realised that he had somehow closed the space between us, leaning in towards me as he fixed his hungry gaze on me. Those lustrous pearl-grey eyes gleamed in the darkness, like fireflies in an inky forest. Oh, it had seemed like such a long time ago…. Such a very long time ago since I was lost in wonder and trapped, like a helpless bird, in those hypnotizing eyes.
There was a pregnant pause as I mulled over what to say.
"Nowhere." I murmured softly, calmly. And yet he dared to flinch, as though these words were like steel knifes that had pierced his heart.
Then there was another one of those pauses. The type of meaningless pauses where you wait for the other party in the conversation to continue it but yet that person expects the same from you.
Silence filled the air, like a cloud suddenly covering the bright rays of the sun. Taking in a deep breath and watching it form tiny puffs of cloud around me, I told him quietly, "I have to go."
Turning away, I tightened my wooly cloak around me. It was as though there were Dementors in the vicinity. Warmth seemed to be seeping out slowly from my body as the cold prickled my skin.
A sudden jolt of electricity shot through my arm as something grasped it gently, yet firmly. My body burned where he had placed that touch but after I got over my shock, it fizzled away. Leaving behind dying embers, that initial spark disappeared from my grasp, like an elusive thing that I have been chasing my whole life.
My arm twitched and I almost gave in to the impulse to scratch at the mark that I knew would never go away.
"Don't go." His voice whispered, almost breaking down at the end. It was raspy, almost hoarse, like it was thick with emotions. But I knew better.
He was so close to me now; I could feel his body warmth enveloping me, making my mind drift back to the summer days in the woods of my youth. His warmth, his scent; they were everywhere. Drifting into my nose, curling seductively around my curls, tickling the bottom of my chin…
Resisting the urge to spin around, I closed my eyes as thoughts rang out like shrill alarm bells.
Half a billion dollars.
That was how much my company was worth. Putting everything I had into it, I slaved away for days, gorging myself on bitter cups of black coffee. Fashion magazines were scrutinized to the very last bit of detail, sketches of my ideas flung all over my apartment and I was constantly smiling and shaking hands with any person I knew who would give my company the edge over others. It finally paid off one day. All of a sudden, I was this extraordinary career woman who wielded power in her hands with grace and authority. From Italy to Japan, I was known as the head of the company who changed the lives of women, teaching them about the rights they deserved and the how no man should tell them otherwise.
Every single day though, I would return from work, nursing my slight headache with a glass of sherry. That was when my world would come crashing down. Seeing that pathetic, vulnerable girl in the mirror with eye bags and quivering lips, I would be reminded of how I was a failure as a witch. A quitter. Abandoning the Wizarding World was akin to turning your back on your family. Wizards and witches alike looked down on me, even putting me on the same level as squibs. Before, I was a shiny bauble looked at with adoration, treated with the highest respect and admiration.
I was a Pureblood, wealthier than the Blacks, wealthier than the Malfoys.
Now, I was no different from yesterday's trash.
I couldn't care less though. I never want to have anything to do with magic any more. No more.
On the "bright" side though, muggle guys dropped to my feet like flies attracted to honey and they pursed me relentlessly, though not as relentlessly as the one breathing warmly down my neck.
Snapping out of my reverie, I shook myself from his clasp, taking a few steps away.
I was just so tired, so very tired of running away. Yet, it was the only thing I could do. Running away shielded me, protected me from the devils that I ran from, and it was the very air that I breathed in. But sometimes, it was a cage that held me captive as I flapped my wings haplessly.
"I have to go." I insisted softly, momentarily hating the coldness in my voice. Not even glancing backwards, I knew that his face would scrunch up into that familiar mask of pain before that bitterness would tighten his features, giving him that pinched-up visage.
The wind howled mournfully. The icy wind burned my skin.
"What changed?" His voice was desperate now, filled with "regret" as he gave up his pretense of aloofness.
"Everything."
My heels crushed the dead leaves beneath my feet as the wind blew into my ear, creating this hollow, rattling noise. Facing the sooty, brick-walled buildings, I left behind the figure of black, the nightmarish creation of my past.
My first love…
Walking away, I felt nothing… Except for the faint sense of loss lingering in my heart.
Author's Note:
Hello, my dear readers. I apologise for neglecting my Fanfiction user for so long... Quite a few months, I think. Anyway, now that I am free to do as I please, I am going to write more stories! Please support me by giving reviews and comments!
P.S. If many readers demand for a continuation of this one-shot, I may just do so! :)