This is more of a vent than a fan fiction. But it sure was fun to write. FYI, Butch Hartman really did say in a real-life interview that he thinks of his show "The Fairly Oddparents" as being a "G-rated Simpsons".
Also FYI, I don't own "The Fairly Oddparents" and am getting nothing but a great sense of personal satisfaction from writing this. FOP is owned by Nickelodeon.
(The scene is a comic convention. A reporter, microphone in hand, approaches an artists' table set up for display. It is surrounded by a glut of posters, standups and banners depicting a white-haired teenager with glowing green eyes and a single small poster of a pair of fairies. Sitting behind it is a dark-haired man, ready to sign autographs from fans.)
REPORTER: Are you Butch Hartman?
HARTMAN: That's me! Are you a Danny Phantom fan?
REPORTER: Uh, well, actually I'm here to interview you about your show "The Fairly Oddparents".
HARTMAN: Oh. That.
REPORTER: I'm Bill Quill, from Animation Fascination Magazine, and I'd like to ask you why you think "The Fairly Oddparents" was such a success.
HARTMAN: Well, Bill, I credit mycast danny phantom, mycrew danny phantom, and mywriters danny phantom.
REPORTER: Uh, okay. Why don't you give us some background on "The Fairly Oddparents"?
HARTMAN: Well, it's about this kid danny phantom named Timmy Turner danny phantom who had these fairy godparents danny phantom named Cosmo and Wanda danny phantom!
(Reporter stares at Harman in silence for a moment)
REPORTER: You created another show, didn't you?
HARTMAN: Oh, well, heh-heh, I wasn't going to bring it up, but since you mention it…(speaks very rapidly) It's this totally-cool-totally-popular-so-NOT-a-waste-of-money I call…
(does a Mr. Crocker-like spazz)
DANNY PHANTOM!
REPORTER: Uh, right. If we could get back to "The Fairly Oddparents" for a moment…
HARTMAN: (does another spazz) AND IT'S NOT CANCELLED!
REPORTER: Mr. Hartman, we were talking about "The Fairly Oddparents"…?
HARTMAN: Oh, right! Well, you see, Bill, I've always thought of "The Fairly Oddparents" as a G-rated "Simpsons"…
(POOF! Suddenly the two figures on the fairy poster come to life)
WANDA: HAH!
COSMO: WE WISH!
(HARTMAN turns around and glares at them. The REPORTER, who can't see Cosmo and Wanda, looks warily at HARTMAN)
HARTMAN: And what's that supposed to mean!
WANDA: We mean that unfortunately we're NOT like "The Simpsons"! Marge never calls her husband a moron and an idiot!
COSMO: Yeah! And Homer never calls Marge fat or ugly or naggy!
HARTMAN: Whatever! It'sfunny! (chuckles)
WANDA: (to Cosmo) Oh, listen to him.
COSMO: I know. Blah, blah, blah…
WANDA: (to Cosmo) I'm glad we don't really feel that way about each other, puddin'.
COSMO: You know it, baby!
(WANDA and COSMO start to kiss)
HARTMAN: HEY! Cut that out you two! Adults watch our show! So that means no kissing or flirting or acting happily married. Adults hate that!
REPORTER: Mr. Hartman, are you talking to a poster?
HARTMAN: I'm trying to! BUT THEY WON'T LISTEN!
REPORTER: (to himself) He's losing it…
WANDA: But Homer and Marge kiss!
COSMO: Not to mentionthey getto sleep in the same bed!
HARTMAN: NO! Adult humor means insults and putdowns and woman-bashing! That's how I write it! And what I have written stays written!
(spazzes) DANNY PHANTOM!
(WANDA and COSMO stare at their creator)
WANDA: Fine.
(she and COSMO face off)
COSMO: Gee, Wanda, you sure have a fat, um…(looks at Wanda's tiny body)…er…uh…(looks at her head, points at it) BRAIN!
WANDA: Oh, yeah? How'd you like a fat lip, buster? (She waves her wand and turns her mouth into a huge pair of puffy pink lips)
Namely, mine! (She gives Cosmo a big fat kiss)
COSMO: (dazedly) Yes, please!
HARTMAN: NOOOO! Sinful! Forbidden! Blasphemous! Fornication!
(HARTMAN runs away foaming and raving, then lets loose one last spazz)
DANNY PHANTOM!
REPORTER: (sighs) Oh, well, I wonder where the "Ben 10" booth is… (he wanders off)
(WANDA and COSMO collapse in laughter)
WANDA: Now THAT was funny! (laughs)
COSMO: Yeah! (spazzes) DANNY PHANTOM!
(they laugh harder)
WANDA: (wipes away a tear) Ah, don't you just love overly-ambitious hypocritical posers?
COSMO: Yeah…
(they both calm down, take deep breaths, and sigh)
COSMO: They're so clueless!
THE END